Hercules Respawn Point

SAVE LOADED SUCCESSFULLY.

#monsterdon

You fucked up Hercules, but mental agility is not your strength, you er....strength is.

#Monsterdon

Hey Zeus why didn't you lead with that?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dedalos I've been pronouncing is Daydelous I feel so stupid!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

The thing about even movies like this, it put a few dozen people to work for a few months. #monsterdon

Minos is Sam Altman

#Monsterdon

"The future belongs to chaos, and to science. Join us, Hercules." How can you not love this script

#monsterdon

Science was actually chaos the whole time!!!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Minos pulls a diet Palpatine, including lighting from his hands

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait is he saying KAOS like is this a Get Smart crossover?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

On the one hand, this is a much more coherent plot and script than the first movie. On the other hand, it lacks that the unpredictable energy that manic lunacy created.

#monsterdon #hercules1985

Robot Glaucia!

of Ghola Glaucia (if you've read a bit of Dune)

#Monsterdon

We replaced Glossary with an AI?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Did we get the shot?"

"No, sorry Glaucia, keep writhing in slow motion soaking wet for a couple more reels."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

I would die with this noise too.

#monsterdon

The audience now has tinitus.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

don't eat before swimming folks

#Monsterdon

OH WHAT A TWIST this person I didn't give a shit about is a different person I didn't give a shit about

#monsterdon

What a twist!
Glaucomia wasn't quite so short-sighted afterall.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

They picked plot twists out of a hat in the writer's room.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Glossary is evil? Oh no!
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

This movie goes big and goes home. #monsterdon

BALLS!

IN!

SPAAAAAAAAACE!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

If his nipples don’t win Best Supporting Actors for bearing the full weight of those monsters, we riot.
#Monsterdon

YOUR HEAD A SPLODE

#Monsterdon

Castle Gray-ish Skull

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

WHY IS DAEDALUS A GOD
WHY IS DAEDALUS A WOMAN
WHY DOES DAEDALUS HAVE A CODPIE—okay wait actually I can answer both of those questions with the same answer

#Monsterdon

How did I not notice Daedalus's giant codpiece before now?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The queen of spiders is into nets? Isn't that a little on-the-nose? #monsterdon

Bow down an worships Daedelus's codpiece.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

party on Minos' Head!

#monsterdon

thy energy to win
#Monsterdon

"I bruised my head? THAT's what you're worried about?"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Queen of Spiders? I told you this was D&D. #Monsterdon

Everyone, plot twist time, this is a crossover event with Planet Earth from a few weeks ago.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Hercules cannot stand the power of THE NET

so glad to be here on THE NET with y'all this #monsterdon

I feel like Hercules is hitting people so hard I'm going to go colorblind

#Monsterdon

Hercules that was a perfectly good spear. Just cuz you didn't want it doesn't mean no one else did.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"I eat queens for breakfast. Wait that didn't sound right."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

AMAZONS!

Let the giantess worship begin!

#Monsterdon

Look out Herc, You're gonna die of exposition!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

I like how the special effects waffle in quality from Original Trek to Original Who, but the Sound Effects are vintage Johnny Quest all the way. #Monsterdon

"Yes, it will mean your LIFE!""

EXPLOSIONS

Game Ends

#Monsterdon

Imagine filming this and a stage hand is flashing a light at you while the director is saying, "IMAGINE THE INFINITE MAJESTY OF SPACE"

#Monsterdon

Urania is absolutely tripping on that potion

#Monsterdon

We have gel lights and we know how to use them.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

brb going to talk to oracle of death

#Monsterdon

The music is saying they thought this scene was a lot more inspiring than it's proving to be.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

I miss when things were tossed into space.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

And then the oracle of death offered me a potion...

Don't tell us you drank it.

...

You didn't drink it did you.

...

You are so stupid.

#monsterdon

The Earth _is_ a difficult place.

That's true.

#monsterdon

That's not a god, that's Bill Cosby!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"And whatever you do, don't break the ring!" "Oops"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"What is it Urania?"
"I feel another presence"
"Thoria and Plutonia? Surely combined you can reach critical mass."

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"the oracle of Death!"
"Larry Ellison?"

#monsterdon #hercules1985

Ice sword Science! #monsterdon

Minos and Flora meeting like they're on a dating app...

#Monsterdon

gods just twink into existence, don't they

#monsterdon

"Minos is preparing a nice little surprise for--"
"Oh is he"--
"I'M STILL GIVING MY LINE BITCH!"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@flowerpot every lighting bolt seems earned and then some...

#Monsterdon

~36minutes left
#Monsterdon

Did they seriously just drape chains over the girl and ask her to scream really loudly? They didn't even secure anything down.

Worst BDSM scene.

#Monsterdon

Styropyro would know what to do with this plasma.

#monsterdon

Don't worry Lou, even great actors like Ian McKellen hate working in Greenscreen...

#Monsterdon

Punch into space!

#monsterdon

Those chains weren't even attached to anything. They were just like laying on top of her.

#Monsterdon

is he ever gonna throw anything into space?

#monsterdon

Lube Powers Activate!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"I'm am ready for you Anteaus..."
parts buttocks..

#Monsterdon

Hercules has yet to find a problem he can't solve with punching

#monsterdon

Hercules made good time

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

is this recap or surprise! non-linear!

#monsterdon

@Binder it's a UNIX shield

#Monsterdon

Man telepaths who emanate glowing waves are SO annoying. #monsterdon

"I know this shield! We went to college together! This shield is cuh-razy!"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

that's Herc, always losing everyone on the beach

#monsterdon

got up and went to get a glass of water and played with my cat for a minute, and the plot is in exactly the same place i left it. neverending and aimless #monsterdon

If this movie had even a single point I know _I'd_ go around it

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"the meridians have been changed"

They HAVE, and not even in my country!!

#Monsterdon

I know we're all bagging on the female costume design but Herc is literally wearing leather short shorts.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"moon's haunted" #monsterdon

"Seahorse?"

"Yeah, See?! Horse!"

#monsterdon

“You don’t see me speak because I’m using underwater wifi”

#Monsterdon

Can you turn off your flame filter, this Zoom call is already annoying enough. #monsterdon

The original animated "Star Trek" had force-field space'suits' like those.

#monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Sea. Horse.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

oh I thought this was gonna be like that one episode of Voyager

#monsterdon

Before Nancy Reagan, people would always just immediately do any drugs you give them. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

So, is the glowing red arch going to be explained?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

“I might be allergic to this. What is it?”

“Time is short, just take it.”

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

The Power of Blue and Green Mentos!

Hercules is now FRESH

#monsterdon

Oh good. Some more of these cutting edge computer effects. #monsterdon

Don't take medical advice from Greek Gods or AIs

#Monsterdon

Mothra twins are back.

sorry, Clotho and Lachesis. Sure, yeah. #monsterdon

"I'm scared."
"I'm terrified."
"ITS NOT A CONTEST. STOP TRYING TO ONE-UP ME".
#monsterdon

Nobody in this movie is wearing pants

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

FINALLY, WE'RE UP TO THUNDERBOLT 3

HIGH-SPEED CONNECTIVITY GO!

#monsterdon

hey, femme!Daedalus is back

#Monsterdon

"Daedalus and Minos Get the Band Back Together"

#Monsterdon

Herc is all like "woah you startled me I almost SHAN'T myself" #Monsterdon