that _is_ the MST3K moon, isn't it.

#monsterdon

"But sure Hercules, but what have you done for ME lately?"

#Monsterdon

We have Xena and Gabriel at home? In Italy
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

What is the Id monster doing here? You were forbidden! And on another planet.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

It’s that guy from Forbidden Planet!!!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

It's the same mad priest from Temple Of Doom, in a wig, isn't it?

#Monsterdon

PRODUCED BY
some people who shouldn't have been allowed near a film camera a second time

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

With the powers of godlike strength, and day-for-night, HERCULES fights for truth, justice, and stable cleanliness

#Monsterdon

No recap is complete without the giant Herc marco kink scenes.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Scare quotes "Hera"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

No Bear attack recap?

#Monsterdon

Here comes the creation of the Moon!

#Monsterdon

In space, no one can hear your balls rolling around

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Hey. it's the God Eye, from the Man With The XRay Eyes!

#Monsterdon

All hail Kleenexia

#Monsterdon

#monsterdonalert #monsterdon

GO GO GO!!!

@paco meme template right there

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dang, I got distracted and just re-joining. Apparently they used film stock from the 1890s, huh?

#monsterdon #WrongGods

@SnoopJ Luigi Cozzi co-wrote the latter 2/3rds of Dario Argento’s animal trilogy, but he also directed his own movies, so, it;s impossible to say if hes bad or not

#Monsterdon

just stumbled across this from an interview with director Luigi Cozzi in 2015. sir i just watched your entire video game-ass hercules movie from 1985 #monsterdon

"non capisco"

yea me neither pal

#Monsterdon

@strangefour @jonny ooooh snap

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@YsengrinWolf I hope it's the bear from the first movie #Monsterdon

@banderkat That castle is better than every set in this film.

#monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai
It was in fact surprisingly horny.

#Monsterdon

@klu9 @miru #monsterdon #WrongGods

Si, anche io!

@moira @Taweret @miru Yeah true, although IMO reusing footage kinda contributes to the vibe

Same reason I "love" Turkish Star Wars so much

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Up next on the Monsterdon double feature... Italian Godzilla? Whut? This could be the wrongest of frogs.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1977

@bunnyhero Take 2 flaming swords, get plenty of rest, throw something into space, and call me in the morning.

#monsterdon

Well, Our Hero has fucked off into space, so that's it for this week! That was, uh... that was A LOT. Yikes. SCIENCE!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Well that was a moving picture, all right! Thanks for hosting, @Taweret! And for the fun trivia, @JoeWynne 😁

Goodnight, monster people! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

'the little people: Cristina Bisili' <-- super weird credit

Now, back to constellation storage until we need you again, my convenient utility son. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Now that the movie's over, I'm gonna go lay down and... think about what I just watched. I'm gonna think about it /so good/... #Monsterdon

The Legend of Hercules: Minoan’s Mask (1985)
Available only on the Sega Cronus
#Monsterdon

And you too, David the Key Grip, who went back to the lot and turned off my car headlights for me

#Monsterdon

OK, I think that's it?

Thanks @Taweret for a lovely Monsterdon!

Special thanks to @JoeWynne for trivia, @cherizilla for the bingo, and everyone else for coming and streaming and helping us all get through the weirdness that was this film.

Remember: the power of mint protects you! Go brush your teeth.

#monsterdon

The real monster is the lack of things tossed into space.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

What happened to Herc's wife? From the first movie...
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Urania patron of your -- FUCK OFF WAKKO I'M SAYING IT --

#Monsterdon

Patron of
(sigh)
Astrology. #Monsterdon

Hercules does have M13 in it, so that's good. #monsterdon #astronomy

Urania yeeted into space

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

lock the moon????
stop the earth?????
zeus no have you not been following
#monsterdon

did. ... he throw the earth into space?

#Monsterdon

you've heard of gravity?

Hercules is the force of grabbity.

#monsterdon

@bryanhowell don't worry, he's hollow

#Monsterdon

Kerbals can do this too #Monsterdon

I have a question about the science to “block the moon” and checks notes “stop the earth.”

#TheAdventuresOfHercules1985 #Monsterdon

"Block the Moon"
"Stop The Earth"
"Save Mankind"
"Get eggs from shop"

#Monsterdon

I put my Grow Hercules in a glass of water overnight but the dog ate him

#Monsterdon

Why is movie still happening?

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

"Grow hercules, GROW" he shouted at his penis

#Monsterdon

Chaos has been defeated? Shit looks like it's still going pretty sideways...

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

HELL YES, MEGA-HERCULES

#monsterdon

This is footage from a 1960s movie about Atlantis...

#Monsterdon

Yeah don't show your actors at all during the climactic fight sequence. Great idea. #monsterdon

That moon looks like the MST3K logo #monsterdon #hercules1985

NGL I half expected them to make out gratuitously for no damn reason.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Forehead kisses of death.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon "I gave you life, I never thought I would have to take it from you."

Although, now that I think of it, I did create you entirely to hide a weapon inside your body, so I'm not sure how I expected that to play out.

Fuck off movie, you have earned *none* of the emotional payoff you are trying for here. #Monsterdon

Goddess Kate Bush needs to pull a lightning bolt out of her heart to stop the moon colliding with Earth.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Yes it's true. I created you. And hid lightning under your boobies."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Minos has been cancelled"
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The Olympian gods just look at each other like "what just happened?"

#Monsterdon

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I feel that, space dude

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon just when you think the Hercules movie can't surprise you, a neon gorilla fighting a T-Rex. Suck on that

just getting in late from laserium...

...huh.

#monsterdon

King Kong vs Godzilla?

What are we watching?

#monsterdon

T-Rex and King Kong fight it out!

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

holy shit herc going gorilla mode

#monsterdon

@ohiofi Every. Single. Time.

#Monsterdon

Remember, this is eight years *after* Star Wars

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Which effing god is that? WHY WONT YOU PEOPLE WEAR NAME TAGS? #monsterdon

Holographic Bob Ross vs The Dinosaurs: coming soon to a cinema near you

#Monsterdon

DID YOU CATCH THAT there were some more space chariot guys in the background IS SPACE CHARIOT MASS TRANSIT CANON
#monsterdon

Vogue some more Herc

#Monsterdon

ROTO-LOU

#monsterdon

Won't protect him from pure energy, huh? Information Society might have something to say about that

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

oh hey we're back to Tron

#monsterdon

🎵 awesome synth 🎵
PURE ENERGY

#Monsterdon

this movie is really amping up the clusterfuck quickly #monsterdon

@Taweret I think what happened here is they wrote this movie as a bunch of set pieces and then figured out what comes between the set pieces that would fit the rest of the budget after the VFX were planned out

which would explain why there's some "damn, this is from a much better version of this movie" stuff in here and so much bullshit padded around it

#Monsterdon

look at all this science sciencing!

#monsterdon

Minos, Reviewer 2 wants you to run some more experiments on the robot centaur to make sure the p-value is significant enough

#monsterdon

@paco

Yeah, thinking "science" is being used very loosely here

#Monsterdon

Hercules Respawn Point

SAVE LOADED SUCCESSFULLY.

#monsterdon

You fucked up Hercules, but mental agility is not your strength, you er....strength is.

#Monsterdon

Hey Zeus why didn't you lead with that?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dedalos I've been pronouncing is Daydelous I feel so stupid!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

The thing about even movies like this, it put a few dozen people to work for a few months. #monsterdon

Minos is Sam Altman

#Monsterdon

"The future belongs to chaos, and to science. Join us, Hercules." How can you not love this script

#monsterdon

Science was actually chaos the whole time!!!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Minos pulls a diet Palpatine, including lighting from his hands

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait is he saying KAOS like is this a Get Smart crossover?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

On the one hand, this is a much more coherent plot and script than the first movie. On the other hand, it lacks that the unpredictable energy that manic lunacy created.

#monsterdon #hercules1985

Robot Glaucia!

of Ghola Glaucia (if you've read a bit of Dune)

#Monsterdon

We replaced Glossary with an AI?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985