Oh neat. A temple shaped like a giant spider. Impractical but cool idea.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Why is the sky red? Are we on Mars?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

From acid trip to fight scene.

The way of the Hercules movie.

#monsterdon

So death gives you new underwear?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Sweet oracle of death"

We have the line for the movie.

#monsterdon

ok sure this guy is a um frost.. scientist.... who will cast all the gods into... frost... because they are holding back... frost science #monsterdon

Minos is Mr Freeze now?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dissing someone by calling them a god is funny

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

It’s Gastly!!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

There is a significant lack of yeeting in this movie. #monsterdon

where are they putting the thunderbolts once they get them anyway #monsterdon

I know this shield. We went to college together

#Monsterdon

"Guys I have bad news-- we forgot to advance the footage when we recorded the mermaids. All we've got is this one still photo to work with..."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Take this undocumented drug. Trust me bro. #monsterdon sterdon

Our current Herculean Task is to stay awake during this movie.

#monsterdon

"under the sea....they'll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans Under The Seeeaaaaa..."

"I cannot be bother to speak to you, so I'll use telepathy..."

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The whistling sound is a ripoff of Bubo... from Clash of the Titans. This is starting to irk me, in an Italian way.

See now, that's what science needed all along, a fuckin sword that lights up. #monsterdon

Oh! Oh! XANADU! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I keep expecting this...oracle? To be twin fairies, singing of Mothra

#monsterdon

you and hercules must fuck off into the sea

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@wohali
❌ glass sword
✅ cotton candy sword

#Monsterdon

Why... would a sword make Science triumph? For Science to triumph you just need enough funding.

#monsterdon

This dude is from Krull

If he's not yeeted into Space...

#Monsterdon

Suspenseful music rises to a crescendo and abruptly ends…and nothing happens.

#Monsterdon

We're now in the valley of unfinished dolls.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

tens of thousands of dolls?

more like 15, but fine

#Monsterdon

Hercules vs the Blair Witch
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I too must over come the fire monsters demon heat during Summer

#Monsterdon

I just love this.
#monsterdon

"Guys wait a sec, maybe we should stop sending monsters with thunderbolts in them after Hercules. Like, do we have any non-thunderbolt monsters? Or can we hire some temps or something?"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

That Gorgon looked cheap, but was still pretty icky

If you found that in a child's toy box you'd be concerned...

#Monsterdon

Oh hey! They could afford Ray Harryhausen's non-union Italian equivalent. For like 30 seconds.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Hercules! Look at me! I'm doing a handstand! Are you looking? Come on! Look at me! Stop looking at your phone!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"don't tempt the gods!"

*Hercules proceeds to tempt the gods*

#monsterdon

Why is Hercules using random ye olde english phrasings?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

this is a WEIRD Tron prequel, y'all

#monsterdon

Heyyyyyyy this isn't safety these are glowing green guys! That's like the opposite of safety!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon The Forbidden Valley. The source of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

"Is safety far? I have to take a Herculean pee-pee."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

HERC SMASH

#monsterdon

"do you like my paid actor statues?"

#monsterdon

What is this? Did Herc suddenly acquire a brain?

#Monsterdon

lol, she's a Medusa Herc....

#Monsterdon

Is that Bernadette Peters...??

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Not sure if anyone else mentioned this, but Zeus is played by Claudio Cassinelli, who was in a number of 1970s giallo and poliziottechi films, but who tragically died in a helicopter accident during filming of Sergio Martino’s Terminator rip-off Hands of Steel (1986).

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"The slime people"

We call them MMA fighters now...

#Monsterdon

The slime people. They work in the costume department

#Monsterdon

They hold you by suction!

...Go onnnnn...

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Something's clearly wrong here. No one would drop that many purses.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Hercules, crime scene investigator.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I feel like some questions need to be asked if Hera and Poseidon are unhappy with Zeus

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

You jerks, you ruined a perfectly good skeleton!

#monsterdon

"I forgot to mention, the resurrection process takes 300 years. We should have pre-heated the oven."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

He wasn't much of a warrior in the end, the dozy fool

#Monsterdon

the god transporter is Quite Annoying

#monsterdon

RESURRECT SKELETOR!

#monsterdon

Animated Disney I hardly ever hear get any love but is maybe my favorite. #monsterdon

The bellies of monsters is where I always hide all of the loot that I steal

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

This really is a like a video game, each end of level boss gives up a part of a prize.

Save Game!, quick!

#Monsterdon

What, no yeeting?

Also, the yeti literally drops a thunderbolt as loot?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Somebody spent 1000 hours rotoscoping that thunderbolt.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

and just like that, HERC'S BACK, BABY

#monsterdon

@strangefour Here comes Mothra:
#monsterdon

that _is_ the MST3K moon, isn't it.

#monsterdon

"But sure Hercules, but what have you done for ME lately?"

#Monsterdon

We have Xena and Gabriel at home? In Italy
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

What is the Id monster doing here? You were forbidden! And on another planet.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

It’s that guy from Forbidden Planet!!!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

It's the same mad priest from Temple Of Doom, in a wig, isn't it?

#Monsterdon

PRODUCED BY
some people who shouldn't have been allowed near a film camera a second time

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

With the powers of godlike strength, and day-for-night, HERCULES fights for truth, justice, and stable cleanliness

#Monsterdon

No recap is complete without the giant Herc marco kink scenes.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Scare quotes "Hera"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

No Bear attack recap?

#Monsterdon

Here comes the creation of the Moon!

#Monsterdon

In space, no one can hear your balls rolling around

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Hey. it's the God Eye, from the Man With The XRay Eyes!

#Monsterdon

All hail Kleenexia

#Monsterdon

#monsterdonalert #monsterdon

GO GO GO!!!

@paco meme template right there

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dang, I got distracted and just re-joining. Apparently they used film stock from the 1890s, huh?

#monsterdon #WrongGods

@SnoopJ Luigi Cozzi co-wrote the latter 2/3rds of Dario Argento’s animal trilogy, but he also directed his own movies, so, it;s impossible to say if hes bad or not

#Monsterdon

just stumbled across this from an interview with director Luigi Cozzi in 2015. sir i just watched your entire video game-ass hercules movie from 1985 #monsterdon

@strangefour @jonny ooooh snap

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@YsengrinWolf I hope it's the bear from the first movie #Monsterdon

@banderkat That castle is better than every set in this film.

#monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai
It was in fact surprisingly horny.

#Monsterdon

@moira @Taweret @miru Yeah true, although IMO reusing footage kinda contributes to the vibe

Same reason I "love" Turkish Star Wars so much

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Up next on the Monsterdon double feature... Italian Godzilla? Whut? This could be the wrongest of frogs.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1977

@bunnyhero Take 2 flaming swords, get plenty of rest, throw something into space, and call me in the morning.

#monsterdon

Well, Our Hero has fucked off into space, so that's it for this week! That was, uh... that was A LOT. Yikes. SCIENCE!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Well that was a moving picture, all right! Thanks for hosting, @Taweret! And for the fun trivia, @JoeWynne 😁

Goodnight, monster people! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

'the little people: Cristina Bisili' <-- super weird credit

Now, back to constellation storage until we need you again, my convenient utility son. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Now that the movie's over, I'm gonna go lay down and... think about what I just watched. I'm gonna think about it /so good/... #Monsterdon

The Legend of Hercules: Minoan’s Mask (1985)
Available only on the Sega Cronus
#Monsterdon

And you too, David the Key Grip, who went back to the lot and turned off my car headlights for me

#Monsterdon

OK, I think that's it?

Thanks @Taweret for a lovely Monsterdon!

Special thanks to @JoeWynne for trivia, @cherizilla for the bingo, and everyone else for coming and streaming and helping us all get through the weirdness that was this film.

Remember: the power of mint protects you! Go brush your teeth.

#monsterdon

The real monster is the lack of things tossed into space.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985