Sheesh. Yeah, really, maiden. You’re disturbing everyone!

#Monsterdon

Ok. My movie file says it is 87 minutes. The credits were like 7.5. Almost 10% of this movie was opening credits and cuts back to the first film.
#monsterdon

The Seven Thunderbolts sounds like a 70s martial arts flick I would literally pay to watch.

#Monsterdon #Hulkules2

Yes, only seven thunderbolts. Lightning can only strike seven places at any given moment on earth.

#Monsterdon

Look, anyone who wants to make Zeus look the fool he is is a winner in my book #Monsterdon

I'm not watching this on pornhub am I?

#Monsterdon

@trixter not even Yelena could save this movie #monsterdon

@trixter

can someone give me a timestamp?

#monsterdon

Was this the first movie made in Powerpoint or something?

#monsterdon

That’s true, the Romans invented crossfit #monsterdon #hercules1985

not so much "in medias res", more "the plot just began over there, right off screen, we promise"

#Monsterdon

So how did they divide them up? Somebody's only getting one thunderbolt, and I know enough Greek mythology to know that's gonna start a war! #Monsterdon

Oh sure, forces of evil and chaos are always "diabolical" and not "funny, when seen in the right light"

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

"My name is Ash.....and I am a slave."

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

if i recall, it's 9 minutes 35 seconds of recap. yes. almost but not quite 10 minutes.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"oNE DAY FOOLISH AND ENVIOUS GODS--"

shown here in Caution Tape-o-vision #Monsterdon

Oh Chaos that old chestnut.

#monsterdon

Chaos getting a bad rap here #Monsterdon

It's important to watch the entire sacrifice death march. #monsterdon

#monsterdon It's wholly unfair how they treated all those Bionicles….

#monsterdon 5 minutes in and it's still "Hey remember all the cool footage from 2 years ago?"

5:50 - walk-on cameo from mysterious bones of infant island

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

those lightning bolts made the silliest 'squeeesh' noise

#monsterdon

Foolish and envious Gods.. true, but you are risking a serious smiting..

So, lightning bolts as a metaphor for nuclear weapons?

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Know then that it is the year 10,191...

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

Short sighted to have made less than a dozen thunderbolts if you ask me #Monsterdon

his seven mighty thunderbolts pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

#monsterdon

SEVEN LOAD-BEARING THUNDERBOLTS

#monsterdon

Thunderbolts you say? Where's Yelena?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait did he ever marry that babe with the face veil? I didn't see the end

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

This is just like Black Knight 2000

#Monsterdon

Debating if I should play #MonsterdonBingo tonight. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

Thunderbolt noises: whee wheet twee

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The seven thunderbolts (pew! pew! pew!) #monsterdon #hercules1985

AND LEWIS COATES DID HIS DARNDEST! #Monsterdon

Oh wait another powerpoint presentation, thanks #monsterdon #hercules1985

This film ranks a full 7 on the hand-drawn electic bolt scale!

#monsterdon

evil and chaos, so that's thiel and trump, right?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Lewis Coates, the reason for this winter of our discontent #Monsterdon

"Starcrash" star-field, with the bright colors. Not too surprising, I guess.
#monsterdon #hercules1985

@cd0 But that corner logo bounce.... #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Many honours were bestowed on Hercules for his deeds on Earth.
... including the FIFA peace prize.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Zeus, known peacenik. #Monsterdon

I see this movie has stop motion monsters and Greek Gods. The monsters look like Temu Harryhausen. That doesn't bode well for the rest of the movie. #Monsterdon

all these models...like flames in rain

#monsterdon

where zeus, the king of the gods, ruled peacefully due to his overwelming supply of terror weapons

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"We have all this footage on the cutting room floor WTF do we do with all of it?"

- the main reason this #Monsterdon even exists

Credit where it's due, the source of this file from the archive is really good quality. #monsterdon

Am I going to understand everything if I didn't watch Hercules 1?

#Monsterdon

The pixelated fire sword! Omg it's so real! Why did we even bother progressing in movie effects when we nailed it here so fully

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

see they had the same idea as me of silently recapping this with just music #monsterdon

This was helpful, I missed the first movie, I’m now prepared #monsterdon #hercules1985

@WhiteCatTamer I doubt there is a reason for any of this

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

lewis coates it in shit maybe

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

that man really never should have cut Herc's tummy. It hurt Herc. It wasn't nice.

@Taweret Gotta pad out that runtime.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Does this opening sequence count for bingo because we’ve pretty much already covered the entire bingo board?

#Monsterdon

@teledyn a lot more than the music is being recycled

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Nearly 8 minute intro. #monsterdon

#monsterdon
#Hercules1985
How would this recap have been with the 28 Years Later soundtrack in the background?

Just need the power of rgb rectangles to grow mountain size!
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Wait…

Did that just literally say they lifted the entire soundtrack from the first movie?

#Monsterdon #Hulkules2

Seven (7) thunderbolts! I sense a McGuffin thunderbolt for our pecs-tastic hero to retrieve
#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh right the mecha-centaur. Too bad they couldn't be friends. He could have had a mentaur like Chiron. #Monsterdon

I did not watch last week's movie so it's very nice of them to show all the effects set pieces from it at the top of this movie

#Monsterdon

Ah, Alfred Peccorino. I love his cheese!

#monsterdon

Are we going to make it to 10 minutes in recapping the last movie, or what? PLACE YER BETS

#Monsterdon

I saw there was an editor but I don't believe it
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

When the credits end, the movie ends.

Ray Harrayhausen this ain't.

#monsterdon #heculres1985

You don't see the "Taken from" credit in movies much these days. #monsterdon

That one backwards double quote (”) on "Hera"—MY EYES

#Monsterdon

Bah! Not even a Canon production this time. Just MGM.

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules

I want to boost almost literally every thing I'm seeing on the feed 🤣

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

That thing he's fighting looks like it came straight out of that movie about misfit toys.

#Monsterdon

Recycled music? #Monsterdon

Wait we're STILL IN THE CREDITS? #monsterdon #hercules1985

really creating the proper feeling of solemnity

#Monsterdon

Terminator Centaurian

#Monsterdon

"Music ... taken from Hercules I"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

the movie is gonna actually start eventually right?

#monsterdon

I missed the first movie. Is there a reason why Hercules is/becomes a Titan and fights Bionicle in this intro?
#Monsterdon

Meanwhile, the intro sequence continued into its second month...

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

At least we get to see a recap of the chariot space yeet

#Monsterdon

Alberto Spagnoli, Italy's greatest pasta manufacturer

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

Xerxes was the best character

#monsterdon

it's good that they're taking the time to remind us of how seriously we should be treating all of this

#Monsterdon

These opening credits are straight up ripping off Superman from the 1970s/1980s.
#monsterdon

Herclues against AI #monsterdon #hercules1985

@xerozohar THE BIGGEST PECS!

#Monsterdon

@Louisa I'm sure it is essential
#monsterdon

Previously on Hercules. #Monsterdon

Hercules Pectonics forms the continents...

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

aah yes, who can forget the yeeting of Hercules 1

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon Imperia going bombsies with her aggie on that red devil

Also starring

Betty Spaghetti

#Monsterdon

this clip show does turn into a movie at some point, right?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

...I gotta say, as far as recaps go, this one is not what I'd call illuminating. I think they're just kind of making it obvious how little sense the first film made. #Monsterdon

Don’t know you guys but I’m vibing here #monsterdon #hercules1985