Sheesh. Yeah, really, maiden. Youβre disturbing everyone!
Ok. My movie file says it is 87 minutes. The credits were like 7.5. Almost 10% of this movie was opening credits and cuts back to the first film.
#monsterdon
The Seven Thunderbolts sounds like a 70s martial arts flick I would literally pay to watch.
Yes, only seven thunderbolts. Lightning can only strike seven places at any given moment on earth.
Look, anyone who wants to make Zeus look the fool he is is a winner in my book #Monsterdon
I'm not watching this on pornhub am I?
@trixter not even Yelena could save this movie #monsterdon
Was this the first movie made in Powerpoint or something?
Thatβs true, the Romans invented crossfit #monsterdon #hercules1985
not so much "in medias res", more "the plot just began over there, right off screen, we promise"
So how did they divide them up? Somebody's only getting one thunderbolt, and I know enough Greek mythology to know that's gonna start a war! #Monsterdon
Oh sure, forces of evil and chaos are always "diabolical" and not "funny, when seen in the right light"
"My name is Ash.....and I am a slave."
if i recall, it's 9 minutes 35 seconds of recap. yes. almost but not quite 10 minutes.
"oNE DAY FOOLISH AND ENVIOUS GODS--"
shown here in Caution Tape-o-vision #Monsterdon
Oh Chaos that old chestnut.
Chaos getting a bad rap here #Monsterdon
It's important to watch the entire sacrifice death march. #monsterdon
#monsterdon It's wholly unfair how they treated all those Bioniclesβ¦.
#monsterdon 5 minutes in and it's still "Hey remember all the cool footage from 2 years ago?"
5:50 - walk-on cameo from mysterious bones of infant island
#Monsterdonπ§ββοΈ πͺ β°οΈβ‘ βοΈ π π±
those lightning bolts made the silliest 'squeeesh' noise
Foolish and envious Gods.. true, but you are risking a serious smiting..
So, lightning bolts as a metaphor for nuclear weapons?
Know then that it is the year 10,191...
Short sighted to have made less than a dozen thunderbolts if you ask me #Monsterdon
his seven mighty thunderbolts pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
SEVEN LOAD-BEARING THUNDERBOLTS
Thunderbolts you say? Where's Yelena?
Wait did he ever marry that babe with the face veil? I didn't see the end
This is just like Black Knight 2000
Debating if I should play #MonsterdonBingo tonight. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985
Thunderbolt noises: whee wheet twee
The seven thunderbolts (pew! pew! pew!) #monsterdon #hercules1985
AND LEWIS COATES DID HIS DARNDEST! #Monsterdon
Oh wait another powerpoint presentation, thanks #monsterdon #hercules1985
This film ranks a full 7 on the hand-drawn electic bolt scale!
evil and chaos, so that's thiel and trump, right?
Lewis Coates, the reason for this winter of our discontent #Monsterdon
"Starcrash" star-field, with the bright colors. Not too surprising, I guess.
#monsterdon #hercules1985
@cd0 But that corner logo bounce.... #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
Many honours were bestowed on Hercules for his deeds on Earth.
... including the FIFA peace prize.
Zeus, known peacenik. #Monsterdon
I see this movie has stop motion monsters and Greek Gods. The monsters look like Temu Harryhausen. That doesn't bode well for the rest of the movie. #Monsterdon
all these models...like flames in rain
where zeus, the king of the gods, ruled peacefully due to his overwelming supply of terror weapons
"We have all this footage on the cutting room floor WTF do we do with all of it?"
- the main reason this #Monsterdon even exists
Credit where it's due, the source of this file from the archive is really good quality. #monsterdon
Am I going to understand everything if I didn't watch Hercules 1?
The pixelated fire sword! Omg it's so real! Why did we even bother progressing in movie effects when we nailed it here so fully
see they had the same idea as me of silently recapping this with just music #monsterdon
This was helpful, I missed the first movie, Iβm now prepared #monsterdon #hercules1985
@WhiteCatTamer I doubt there is a reason for any of this
lewis coates it in shit maybe
#Monsterdonπ§ββοΈ πͺ β°οΈβ‘ βοΈ π π±
that man really never should have cut Herc's tummy. It hurt Herc. It wasn't nice.
@Taweret Gotta pad out that runtime.
Does this opening sequence count for bingo because weβve pretty much already covered the entire bingo board?
@teledyn a lot more than the music is being recycled
Nearly 8 minute intro. #monsterdon
#monsterdon
#Hercules1985
How would this recap have been with the 28 Years Later soundtrack in the background?
Just need the power of rgb rectangles to grow mountain size!
#Monsterdon
Waitβ¦
Did that just literally say they lifted the entire soundtrack from the first movie?
Seven (7) thunderbolts! I sense a McGuffin thunderbolt for our pecs-tastic hero to retrieve
#monsterdon #Hercules1985
Oh right the mecha-centaur. Too bad they couldn't be friends. He could have had a mentaur like Chiron. #Monsterdon
I did not watch last week's movie so it's very nice of them to show all the effects set pieces from it at the top of this movie
Ah, Alfred Peccorino. I love his cheese!
Are we going to make it to 10 minutes in recapping the last movie, or what? PLACE YER BETS
I saw there was an editor but I don't believe it
#monsterdon
When the credits end, the movie ends.
Ray Harrayhausen this ain't.
You don't see the "Taken from" credit in movies much these days. #monsterdon
That one backwards double quote (β) on "Hera"βMY EYES
Bah! Not even a Canon production this time. Just MGM.
I want to boost almost literally every thing I'm seeing on the feed π€£
That thing he's fighting looks like it came straight out of that movie about misfit toys.
Recycled music? #Monsterdon
Wait we're STILL IN THE CREDITS? #monsterdon #hercules1985
really creating the proper feeling of solemnity
Terminator Centaurian
"Music ... taken from Hercules I"
the movie is gonna actually start eventually right?
I missed the first movie. Is there a reason why Hercules is/becomes a Titan and fights Bionicle in this intro?
#Monsterdon
Meanwhile, the intro sequence continued into its second month...
At least we get to see a recap of the chariot space yeet
Alberto Spagnoli, Italy's greatest pasta manufacturer
Xerxes was the best character
it's good that they're taking the time to remind us of how seriously we should be treating all of this
These opening credits are straight up ripping off Superman from the 1970s/1980s.
#monsterdon
Herclues against AI #monsterdon #hercules1985
@xerozohar THE BIGGEST PECS!
@Louisa I'm sure it is essential
#monsterdon
Previously on Hercules. #Monsterdon
Hercules Pectonics forms the continents...
aah yes, who can forget the yeeting of Hercules 1
#monsterdon Imperia going bombsies with her aggie on that red devil
this clip show does turn into a movie at some point, right?
...I gotta say, as far as recaps go, this one is not what I'd call illuminating. I think they're just kind of making it obvious how little sense the first film made. #Monsterdon
Donβt know you guys but Iβm vibing here #monsterdon #hercules1985