@moira Can we keep the politics out of #monsterdon. 😉

She's set him up for success. I really like this evil magician. #Monsterdon

Did Game of Thrones misplace one of their bearded rogues in a time warp?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Not really resisting the chains from within there....

#monsterdon

Spray painting the citronella torches gold was a classy touch. #Monsterdon

Is King minos in a tomb of ice? #monsterdon #hercules1985

Welease Bwian! #monsterdon #hercules1985

Man, the Bangles were mean before they became a foursome #Monsterdon

I hope you all know how hard I had to restrain myself from making a "LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!" joke earlier. #monsterdon

They've chained down the jello mold! #Monsterdon

@srol

Everyone said I was daft to hide a thunderbolt in a monster in a swamp...

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

#monsterdon

Is this a videogame? When Hercules punches the next guy, are coins going to appear and twirl around?

I too have always wanted to know the secrets of darkness.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Is ANY of the dialog not dubbed?

#Monsterdon

"This is.... froyo!"

#monsterdon

i'm always meeting up with babes to learn the secrets of darkness #monsterdon

Awesome! The Fresh Hot Donuts sign is lit on Olympus! Yum.
#monsterdon

we've already had exactly the right amount of visual effects, visual effect status is nominal

#Monsterdon

I bet the instruction manual for the Amiga used to do the special effects is more interesting than this movie. #monsterdon

Okay, I could handle the writers clearly being on acid, but… the foley artists too? #Monsterdon

I wish people could call my name and I'd just burst out of a purple flashing light. Holding coffee. And a book. And a pissy expression, like SERIOUSLY WHAT NOW

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

You always wanted the secrets of real estate, and now

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Your wish is about to be answered!

"Come... back the way you came." wat

#monsterdon

Interesting transporter. Romulan, I think. #Monsterdon

@flowerpot Ghillie Goomie. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Flora? Is there going to be another priestess here named Fauna?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I swear I recognize that wolf howl foley from a Laurie Anderson piece.
#monsterdon #hercules1985

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

This guy is a much better rider than Hercules, and his chestnut horsie has a white bridle

I have few scruples too.

Need scruples to make scruples amirite?

#monsterdon

Oooo, first gummi worm down! #Monsterdon

oh, a face reveal. it's like the love child of Alf and Chewbacca #Monsterdon

#monsterdon lol what the hell! He manifested a horse too!!!

Well your plans involved hiding a thunderbolt in just a guy in the swamp so maybe they weren't great plans.

#monsterdon

Oh! He was a lightning bolt. So some mythology. #Monsterdon

A stick, really? The legendary hero uses a stick?? #Monsterdon

The evil gods have blue auras. Excessive blue auras, if you ask me.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

Oh it's the usurper wannabe. #Monsterdon

Chewbacca????? #Monsterdon

WTH kind of monster was that supposed to be? Camo Man?
#Monsterdon

OH the carpet was animated by the lightning bolt. That makes a staticky kind of sense. #Monsterdon

I never get such a cool loot drop. #Monsterdon

okay I would say that it's kind of fast for him to find one of Zeus's thunderbolts, but there ARE seven of them, so I guess we need to be in a rush here

maybe having it just randomly show up the second he gets to Earth is a little under-cooked, though.

#Monsterdon

Treasures inside monsters, Classic D&D!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Why does he need a horse for travel, can he not just pull the Earth’s crust around until his destination arrives?
#Monsterdon

Meanwhile at Dunkin' #Monsterdon

Wait! Sasquatch was one of the stolen thunderbolts!

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

#monsterdon is this a new Zeus? I can't tell so I suppose it doesn't matter

It's mall Santa rules, they're just Zeus's helpers

Why does Zeus have only 7 lightning bolts? Just get some more lightning bolts, Zeus.

#Monsterdon

what the fuck why did that dog have a thunderbolt what was he even doing with it #monsterdon

#monsterdon

Wut? Yeti -- thunderbolt?

Okay I look at my phone for 2 seconds and now hercules is wrestling bigfoot?
#Monsterdon

Okay but wait. If Hercules was neither on Earth nor Olympus, where else is there? #Monsterdon

That's a big donut. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Dang, I thought Herc was gonna roll him up and smoke him.

#monsterdon

@Taweret Really looked like a dude in a camo thing
#monsterdon

The acting, the cinematography, the effects, the... everything makes me think this will take a turn to porn anytime #monsterdon #hercules1985

"Hercules is here on earth"" she says, clearly speaking NOT while standing on the earth

#monsterdon

I think the Witcher did it better.

#monsterdon

Monster looks like an afghan dog standing up. /smh

#monsterdon

@diazona Ah, yes. They decided to use "cunning".
#Monsterdon

*zelda item get* #monsterdon

so fucking annoying, you just get summoned back into reality from the aether and have to get in a fight with a giant mop #monsterdon

noooo he can't yeet the yeti because it melted

#monsterdon

...I take it back, it's not a bear, it's an alsatian fursona. #Monsterdon

Wait, is that the bear from the first movie?
#monsterdon #hercules1985

Cousin It, noooooooo!! #Monsterdon

He came at it w/ a pointy stick. #Monsterdon

And then the Berry White starts up...

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

Werewolf calls. Then, Bigfoot? #Monsterdon

Stupid morlock. He's the son of Zeus, not an eloi.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

This is at least the third time we've heard about the stolen thunder bolts.

But I have no idea why he's fighting a giant orangutan.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh cool, a backscratcher, can't wait to try this one ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owwwwwwww!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

It's gonna suck out all his salt then turn into McCoy's girlfriend. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Ewoks of the ancients were real scarier, I'll give them that

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"I did everything Hercules did except backward and in a furry suit"

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

swamp thing noooooo #monsterdon

What?!?! #monsterdon #thunderbolt

Chewie's looking long in the face...

#monsterdon

If this doesn't end with a Wookkiee constellation, I will be very disappointed

#Monsterdon

Why is all fight foley done with synths and phased effects?

#monsterdon

monster looks like shit

last week we got robots at least

#monsterdon

And Hercules is attacked by a Sasquatch for no particular reason.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

Hercules is now battling the Spirit of 1970s Shag Carpeting

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon bigfoot is more agile than
I would have imagined.

"Soooooooo the woman he was all romantic with in the last movie is what, dead? Sacrificed? Decided ol' Herc was an asshole and went off to become a Vestal Virgin? AND YES I KNOW THE VESTAL VIRGINS ARE ROMAN MYTHOLOGY BUT NOBODY BUT ME CARES ABOUT MYTHICAL COHESION—”

"We SAID, SHUT UP, BRIAN!"

#monsterdon

As far as 80s slo-mo goes, I've seen worse.

I've also seen better.

#Monsterdon

me, looking up from the timeline to see a bear fighting a bear in the woods: haven't we seen this one already?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

why is the incredible hulk punching a wookie

#monsterdon

Toss the Wookie!!!!! #Monsterdon

Dang, Chewbacca got some acrobatics! #Monsterdon

Ah yes, from Greek mythology, it's the Yeti!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Magic Earring Her-Ken-ules is back in a flash! #Monsterdon

You just don't see trapezius definition like that much today. #Monsterdon #Hunky

Is he fighting an agile carpet? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

is that sasquatch

still has the pew pew fists!

#monsterdon

Hercules! He’s from space! He’s got muscles! And he’s on a horse! And he’s fighting chewbacca! #monsterdon #hercules1985

tokusatsu hercules? #monsterdon

Hercules vs Bigfoot
#monsterdon

wait is bigfoot getting in on this now?????
the fuck is going on

#monsterdon