King Minos returning from the dead.

#Monsterdon

Not the slime people! oh no! #monsterdon

Okay I say this as someone who used to be a massage therapist and has taken a lot of anatomy classes: how do those pectorals not actually hurt

How is walking straight

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

Also, that dude was super decayed for being entombed in a god-sealed box for only 2 years. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@faoluin@chitter.xyz How could you say something so hurtful and yet so true?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The three gods brought back the one king who believes in Science(!) to stop Hercules? 🤦‍♂️😆

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules

“Well the first thing I want is to use the bathroom” #Monsterdon

The slime people of the forbidden valley are so misunderstood. They just need some serious skincare products *hiss*
#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Oh help!"

BWHAHAHAHHAHAHA

#monsterdon

Hercules II: Hercules I but This Time We Have Budget for Horses. #Monsterdon

I guess they didn't have the budget to write a new villain.

#Monsterdon

The wax play got out of hand…

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Even the horse is bored.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

So they went to all the trouble of getting themselves a badass mercenary to fight Herc, only to gut him like a chicken to bring THIS guy back to life? #Monsterdon

@helianthropy@tech.lgbt Hercules was not dead, he just went home!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Did we really have to bring Minos back? I feel like we could have a different villain this time

It’s like how Palpatine stays dead in the Star Wars sequels

#Monsterdon

mm, goopy.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

so here i was, minding my own business, keeping the planetary orbits aligned with my seven thunderbolts, when this gang of trifling broads stole them and gave them to a bunch of swamp dogs and revived the asteroid scientist i spawned a whole demigod to kill #monsterdon

Oh hey, the shiny plastic crown was actually part of his body. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I can't believe these gods' takeaway from the first film was that the Minos brand of competency was just what their plans needed.

#monsterdon

Hahahaha I love how he goes from skeletal remains to gold-clad glowing human man, and he's like, "Great, what do you guys want now"

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

#monsterdon

If you add Minos to Plusos do you get Zeros?

Why did we need Gora? Just wake him up, it's fucking magic. But I guess that would be 4 minutes you have to fill with something else and boy this movie seems alergic to that
#monsterdon

#monsterdon it is guest starring Minos!!!! Shows what I know, damn

I guess it simplifies things to literally reuse the same villain & hero as last go around. #Monsterdon

"But what else am I gonna do? You're gods."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Was Hercules ever dead?

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

"But in order to give life, one must take life. Yours" immediately zaps guy to death

I appreciate the snappiness

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon See, Artax was fine, it just slid into an alternate dimension and was entrusted to Hercules Poirots.

"'Tis you three"

*is clearly staring at 4 people*

#Monsterdon

No, seriously. If this ritual is a modern concept, seriously, don't. Leave it to the ancients.

#Monsterdon

PSA on Ozempic abuse. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

The sound is awful. Meanwhile they’re draining the poor guy’s blood #Monsterdon

TBH, he seems a downgrade on Gorus.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I guess this movie doesn't have the budget for Badass Undead Minos.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait - was the skeleton wearing that crown a second ago? I didn't notice.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

You sure you don't want to go for something like a femoral artery, gods? It'll be faster....

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

"Ah, it's you three!"

"What am I, chopped liver? there's 4 of us!"

#monsterdon

More zip zaps and boop beeps than your standard scifi film.
#Monsterdon

@SRLevine @hollie Trust me, that is not because of missing the first 15-20 minutes

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Just beamed in to check what condition my condition was in. #Monsterdon

ah, prince john, always the pretender, even in fake ancient mythological greece

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Is that blood dripping from someone's eye? Did we get another "oops wrong pantheon" reference?

#Monsterdon

"UGH god it's in my EYE" #Monsterdon

Leaking cranberry cocktail. #Monsterdon

the 'ol vampire trick, gets 'em every time!

#monsterdon

I like how he's dead but he still squints when the blood runs over his eyes, as you do

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

amazingly this is less compelling than the first movie somehow

#monsterdon

Leave it up to ancient people to come up with the weirdest rituals.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

bleeding on the skeletor?

XD XD XD what IS this scene??? #Monsterdon

This #Monsterdon sounds like a video game playthrough even more than last week I think

Jim Henson?! #Monsterdon

crystal poptarts didn't do as well as crystal pepsi but everybody was trying something in the 1980s

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

I feel like one of the Chthonic gods should be involved in this somehow??? #Monsterdon

I love how gods are summoned with green lasers #monsterdon #hercules1985

“Sorry, my Knowledge-and-Power ice pick isn’t properly grounded” #Monsterdon

LOL surprise you're dead! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

she did well to slay the warrior Gorus?!? She did a sucker-point at him!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon Pucker Up Buttercup!

In order to make life you must take life!

OK, you're just making this shit up now aren't you?

#monsterdon

Fucking hell, are we bringing this guy back from the dead? Seriously?

#Monsterdon

Ha ha ha lady gave him the zip zop of death :D #Monsterdon

Oh, she said “resurrection”.

Whew!

#Monsterdon

Ohh bling axe!
#monsterdon
#Hercules1985

If he can be stirred, then CLEARLY his sleep isn't eternal. Words mean things #Monsterdon

I've watched some of The Rings of Power so I'm used to a sequel to a classic story just gleefully abandoning canon and immediately running off a fucking cliff

#Monsterdon

Skeletor has lost weight.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

and the neon green flasharoo as well

Well check THAT out. SHE has goddesses on speed dial. #Monsterdon

I wonder what the Adventures of Hercules are doin'

#monsterdon

These Greek god transporter beams are wild.

#Monsterdon

"He's nothing but bones!!" She just said the guy was ashes!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

So much for the henchman.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

haha gotem lmao

#monsterdon

And now for the Hades roll call #monsterdon #hercules1985

Resurrection? Jesus Christ, what a cliché … #Monsterdon

@hollie Mooching over here tonight, but I missed the first 15-20 minutes, so confusion setting at maximum.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wow, that was vicious. ZORP

I like her

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

What the fuck did you expect to find in the tomb, pal? Haven't you killed a bunch of people before? #Monsterdon

Gnnnnnnnnnnhuuuuuurrrrrr this lucite is HEAVY #Monsterdon

#monsterdon look at this. It's Minos's chest freezer. And you can have any freezie pop flavor you want

equivalent exchange, it'll get ya every time

#Monsterdon

Wait what? We really gonna have the same antagonist, too? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

One must take life KAPOW! #monsterdon #hercules1985

He's so relieved she manifested a tiny axe and not like a long crazy straw. #monsterdon

Poseidon, Aphrodite, and Hera are all minty fresh!

#monsterdon

minos looking a little skinny. guy needs a meat pie or three.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Gratuitous Vagina dentata?

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Ice, ice baby #Monsterdon

Did you hear that kettle drum? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

i guess the effects guys got a little too excited about that bright blue effect

Another interlude looking in on what the gods are up to

#Monsterdon

Use the holy axepick of antioch!

#monsterdon

"This is....HAN SOLO"

Just kidding it's some other guy we froze

(yes yes I know it's not carbonite)

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

You love a guy who smiles like that when talking about cursed ashes #monsterdon

Y'know, last time they broke some Thing out of the big block of ice, it didn't so well

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

the Casio sound effects *almost* do something interesting, like, the overt digitization *almost* creates a feel of technomancy, of sufficiently advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic

but not really

#Monsterdon

Oooh! Sparkly hand axe!

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985