@diazona @SRLevine 😂

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

There's a lot more punching in this version of Slime Rancher than I expected.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

"Who art thou, and wherefore hath my speech become thus?"
#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Damn, Herc be punchin' folks so hard it breaks the camera. #Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ ADVENTURES OF TRIVIA 💪✨

Margie Newton (Aphrodite) worked simultaneously on The Adventures of Hercules (1985) AND The Final Executioner (1984). She worked on one during the day and the other at night.

She loved acting in both movies, but the stress gave her an eating disorder.

#TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

All this talk of slime people and holding by suction this is definitely a #Monsterdon for the fediverse

At least the stunt people are having fun in this movie #Monsterdon

OK, that looks like a stone pillory?

Not a lot of muck and mire.

#monsterdon

Go go power rangers

#Monsterdon

The Sleestaks got her!!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Parco dei Mostri!!! 🙌🙌🙌

Hell yes I've always wanted to see this place

It's Swamp Thing. Things. #Monsterdon

ITS-A TRAP

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The slime people fight is pretty funny. #monsterdon

BAF! POW! SOC! #monsterdon #hercules1985

I recognize that sculpture garden!

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

These stone animals are honestly really cool! Especially the turtle.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

ferrigno would honestly be more attractive with less muscle. his body just looks weird

#monsterdon

Slime Ninjas, more like.

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

The cave looks horny

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Ooze people handling tied up sexy women? I've seen enough hentai to know where THIS is going.... #Monsterdon

So the blood gives him life, and also clothing and a crown? Neat trick.
#monsterdon #hercules1985

Okay this is the first time we've seen Hercules in the same frame as a character from this movie. So Lou Ferrigno must have filmed *something*.

#monsterdon

A terrible fucking move, narratively speaking, to just revive the villain from the previous story, but I've heard of the plot of The Rise of Skywalker so I guess I'm used to it

#Monsterdon

The slime people who hold you by suction, sure

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

King Minos thinks he's so special, but we could go to Burger King right now and get that crown *and* a cheeseburger. #monsterdon

@SRLevine I kind of thought she made it up on the spot.

#Monsterdon

Chia pets of ancient Hellas!

#Monsterdon

Hercules movie == Barbarian film

#Monsterdon

Holy Land of the Lost #Monsterdon

They hold you by what? #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

#monsterdon THE GODS FORM VOLTRON!

BEWARE OF THE SLEESTACK? What does that even mean?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

oooh I _love_ Forbidden Valley Ranch.

#monsterdon

They hold you by suction!

Suction you say? Tell me more!

#monsterdon

usually it's just subtext but this movie is going out of its way to structure its entire plot around how women are not to be trusted #monsterdon

#monsterdon nowadays, we make horse tack out of leather. But back in Hercules times, it must've been different. How about uhhhhhhhh sheepskin

Hold you by suction? I wi--

Um, I mean, it looks like they hold you with their arms, like they're actors in rubber suits.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I mean, it looks like they were holding her with their arms, not with suction

#Monsterdon

"this is a very dangerous region"

[smash cut to moss-covered turtle statue]

#Monsterdon

She almost ran right onto that freaking spear! Watch where's you're going! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

csi: hercules will solve this crime

#Monsterdon

I'm glad they did a cutaway flashback to the slime people attacking so we knew it wasn't an ethnic slur.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"They hold you by suction!"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

Slime Creatures from Outer Space? #Monsterdon

The forbidden valley looks like the back yard of someone's estate. #monsterdon

ah yes, "by suction." of course.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon It's not “A dreary place”, It's ANAHEIM dammit. Screw you man, enjoy being trapped on the 110 Harbor Freeway beeeotch!

@faoluin@chitter.xyz Maybe the got the actor to do a Buy One Movie, Get One Free deal. #Monsterdon

"The slime people" that's really the best name they could come up with?

#Monsterdon

THEY HOLD YOU BY SUCTION #monsterdon #hercules1985

@bstacey 😁#Monsterdon

"slime people"

wut

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I dunno man, even the soundtrack seems bored by this sequel. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

oh good the grey gets to have a snackaroo in the background also

I am so tempted to start to intuit what kind of off-stage antics were behind this ... production. #Monsterdon

The Slime People

#Monsterdon

Minos is all: Hercules!? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

I won't think about Dudley DoRight. I won't.

King Minos returning from the dead.

#Monsterdon

Not the slime people! oh no! #monsterdon

Okay I say this as someone who used to be a massage therapist and has taken a lot of anatomy classes: how do those pectorals not actually hurt

How is walking straight

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

This guy has done so many steroids, he's lactating them from his boobs

#Monsterdon

Also, that dude was super decayed for being entombed in a god-sealed box for only 2 years. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@faoluin@chitter.xyz How could you say something so hurtful and yet so true?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The three gods brought back the one king who believes in Science(!) to stop Hercules? 🤦‍♂️😆

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules

“Well the first thing I want is to use the bathroom” #Monsterdon

The slime people of the forbidden valley are so misunderstood. They just need some serious skincare products *hiss*
#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Oh help!"

BWHAHAHAHHAHAHA

#monsterdon

Hercules II: Hercules I but This Time We Have Budget for Horses. #Monsterdon

I guess they didn't have the budget to write a new villain.

#Monsterdon

The wax play got out of hand…

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Even the horse is bored.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

So they went to all the trouble of getting themselves a badass mercenary to fight Herc, only to gut him like a chicken to bring THIS guy back to life? #Monsterdon

@helianthropy@tech.lgbt Hercules was not dead, he just went home!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Did we really have to bring Minos back? I feel like we could have a different villain this time

It’s like how Palpatine stays dead in the Star Wars sequels

#Monsterdon

mm, goopy.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

so here i was, minding my own business, keeping the planetary orbits aligned with my seven thunderbolts, when this gang of trifling broads stole them and gave them to a bunch of swamp dogs and revived the asteroid scientist i spawned a whole demigod to kill #monsterdon

Oh hey, the shiny plastic crown was actually part of his body. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I can't believe these gods' takeaway from the first film was that the Minos brand of competency was just what their plans needed.

#monsterdon

Hahahaha I love how he goes from skeletal remains to gold-clad glowing human man, and he's like, "Great, what do you guys want now"

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

#monsterdon

If you add Minos to Plusos do you get Zeros?

Why did we need Gora? Just wake him up, it's fucking magic. But I guess that would be 4 minutes you have to fill with something else and boy this movie seems alergic to that
#monsterdon

#monsterdon it is guest starring Minos!!!! Shows what I know, damn

I guess it simplifies things to literally reuse the same villain & hero as last go around. #Monsterdon

"But what else am I gonna do? You're gods."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Was Hercules ever dead?

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

#monsterdon See, Artax was fine, it just slid into an alternate dimension and was entrusted to Hercules Poirots.

"But in order to give life, one must take life. Yours" immediately zaps guy to death

I appreciate the snappiness

#Monsterdon

"who awakens me... oh, man, bring me the sacred coffee of the Hesperides"

#Monsterdon

"'Tis you three"

*is clearly staring at 4 people*

#Monsterdon

No, seriously. If this ritual is a modern concept, seriously, don't. Leave it to the ancients.

#Monsterdon

PSA on Ozempic abuse. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

The sound is awful. Meanwhile they’re draining the poor guy’s blood #Monsterdon

TBH, he seems a downgrade on Gorus.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I guess this movie doesn't have the budget for Badass Undead Minos.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait - was the skeleton wearing that crown a second ago? I didn't notice.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

You sure you don't want to go for something like a femoral artery, gods? It'll be faster....

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

"Ah, it's you three!"

"What am I, chopped liver? there's 4 of us!"

#monsterdon

More zip zaps and boop beeps than your standard scifi film.
#Monsterdon