This is a real paint-by-numbers affair, huh?

#Monsterdon

Why are the thunderbolts different colors?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

ray harryhausen called, he wants his stretch armstrong back

#monsterdon

The gods, thwarted by science? But that NEVER happens! #Monsterdon

Ok, I do love me some stop motion. Even if it's a little cheesy. #Monsterdon

Okay the sound effects have been fun, I'm enjoying the rattling soul puppets
#monsterdon #Hercules1985

SHE'S A GUMBY GORGON

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHerculesII1985

Was Medusa a scorpion woman in this movie? Or was this supposed to be one of her sisters? I recall something about the other gorgons being less human seeming.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret
One step forward, two steps back

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Where is Hercules tucking these thunderbolts? 🤔

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Three days and three nights is enough to get to the edge of time and space, got it

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

OK that monster was pretty cool and nice animation I approve #Monsterdon

Didn't the Gorgon sisters each have unique magic misandry powers?
It was only Medusa who was a snake-petrifier?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Herc will soon taste the rainbow.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

I feel like Ray Harryhausen should sue.

#Monsterdon #Hulkules2

Wait, one of the statues moved!. 🤣
#monsterdon
#hercules1985

What a terribly proportioned Medusa :/ #Monsterdon

Ray Harryhausen no!

#monsterdon

Narrate the Medusa plot! #Monsterdon

citation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stheno_and_Euryale

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait, his lips weren't moving ... decapitation!

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

Okay, skinny scorpion monster was kinda fun. Cheesy, but fun. #monsterdon

“I’m coming! I’m about to come. I’m very close. Be quiet. Oh goddammit!”

#Monsterdon

They spent half the FX budget spray-painting a Gumby red.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh this just makes me miss Ray. #Monsterdon

was…was that screaming coming from her neck…?
#monsterdon

She didn't see that coming

HAR AHRRHahhahrh

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

Movie, we covered this.

Don't call back to a better movie in your movie.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

Okay, Big Her, I'm'a smarten you up for a sec

I've fallen for the whole "female voice says 'yoo-hoo, this way'" before

there ain't never no Yoo-Hoo there, not a single damn time

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

this is how my dates *always* end. damn it.

#Monsterdon

oh look we're doing clash of the titans again

...again #monsterdon

So the women do at least seem to hold their own in the fights, so that's nice.
#monsterdon #hercules1985

Stop motion animation #monsterdon #hercules1985

#monsterdon Medusa makes us rock hard…

With 7 thunderbolts he can get a free pint of froyo

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

claymation medusa!

These poor actors who are supposed to be standing still like statues can’t keep themselves from looking around or slightly moving in the background.

#Monsterdon

"We need to hear his thoughts or else the moviegoers will be confused, you see" #monsterdon #hercules1985

Hercules has interiority???? Least believable part of this movie so far

#Monsterdon

This is just a shot for shot rip off. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

This Goddess Could Have Been a Gorgon

#Monsterdon

Imagine having your face that close to Lou Ferrigno's nipple and having to hold yourself completely still.

#monsterdon

The only impressive thing in this sequence is the actors staying still.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

wow okay they really thought that would be too much for the audience to understand, then?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Wait for me. I shan't be long."
I'll just hail a handsome cab and we'll be away.

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Whoops, statue is having trouble standing still :P #Monsterdon

Violence! #Monsterdon

Perseus is gonna be pissed when he hear about this part. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I like how they think they have to explain the shield/mirror/gorgon thing to us as if we were as dull as Hercules

#monsterdon

He probably knew if he didn't say 'shant' they'd just dub it but it probably killed him to do. #monsterdon

#monsterdon

Hilariously BAD script and delivery!

"I will find you! I'm coming!"
"Yes. Do come."
Again, I ask did this start as a porn script?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Lyet me lyook yat you #monsterdon #hercules1985

Where's a clockwork owl when you need one? #Monsterdon

The dialogue is very obviously recorded in post and it's SO distracting #monsterdon #hercules1985

They must have someone offscreen spritzing Herc with olive oil every scene. Little spray bottle filled with…well, definitely not extra virgin.
#Monsterdon

Getting stoned with her? No, Herc, JUST SAY NO to Drugs!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

I'm starting to think I might be too horny to watch this.

Oh well, let's see how deep this hole goes. #Monsterdon

A gentle reminder, for all ye who do not remember it, that "thou"/"thee" are the second person familiar pronouns, and "you"/"ye" are the formal/plural pronouns.

#Monsterdon

"I'm over hyeeeeeeere"

#monsterdon

you shall find her??? that's not her, right there???

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"I will find you" he says to the person who's literally right in front of him

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Again, Lou's physique actually seems to cause him more problems than it's worth. That pointing back gesture he made? Stiff as FUCK. He'd be more convincing as powerful if he were LESS buff. #Monsterdon

are we doing "phrasing"?

#Monsterdon

Oh shit. They're shadowing the cast so they don't have to pay for makeup & hair. #Monsterdon

@hollie@social.coop And here I expected a bunch of boring welding...

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Don't tempt the gods

bc, Zeus, well…Ol' Daddy Thunderbolt got a rep, ladies 🫤

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Oh, glow sticks, I guess they were rave chicks and not Amazons after all #Monsterdon

You must go, go now, the way I'm pointing, go, now, now go!

#monsterdon

GOT IT! It's the Gardens of Bomarzo! Which sounds like a monsterdon title itself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardens_of_Bomarzo

#monsterdon

"Shan't" is another word we need to start using more as a society. #Monsterdon

i shan't be long.

i predict he'll be somewhat under an hour.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

he shan't be long

don't be stupid, he shan't even be shan'tner

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"I shan't be long!"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

Cyalume men.

#Monsterdon

"hahaha! I'm over here! Now I am over here!"

#StrongBad

#monsterdon

Hahaha he flexes his chest when he's trying to punctuate something he's said

I want to know if that habit developed before or after making this movie

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

SHAN'T

#Monsterdon

So... the gorgon has a thunderbolt deep inside her...
... and Herc's gotta get it out?

Hmmm hmmm.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

I shan't be long!

#monsterdon In the mouth, run! Mmmm yummy.

"Shan't"

#monsterdon

Kobe! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Who is she? Urealie? #monsterdon

“There is nothing as beautiful as the human body *looks at Hercules* you know, usually” #Monsterdon

Yeah, throw that clearly not a foam rock at them!
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Hercules vs. the hairy mustard and mayo monsters.

enemies:

✅mop
✅trash
✅light

#monsterdon

I said this is the way way out not the way in.

#Monsterdon

This fighting is riveting!

Sorry I can't stop

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

They're fighting the embodiment of Mentos, the Freshmaker.

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

@LingLass If they run out of light they need to have enough on them to light a new torch.

#Monsterdon

"Fight them!"

Oh, Herc's a tactical master all right. #Monsterdon

Oh the power rangers. #Monsterdon

Man, this movie had a bigger Puddy budget than the whole series of MMPR

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

I think a Tom Swift novel in the '90s lifted these baddies

#Monsterdon

Was that a record scratch effect? bwhaahha

#monsterdon

Kryptonite aliens! #monsterdon #hercules1985

I almost respect how much practice Lou has put in to his lines this time around. He really buckled down. #Monsterdon

You've been through the forbidden valley and now you're using the rear entrance which is truthfully an exit. #Monsterdon