Well, at least you'll THINK you have gills like a fish. #Monsterdon

You're just going to take these "golden leaves" from these randos & smoke Herc up w/ them? Okee dokee. You're the precog. #Monsterdon

So... they could only afford 2/3 of the Fates? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

take

these golden leaves

and learn to swim again

lean to breathe the sea-a-a

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

YESSSS GENDER-SWAPPED GOLD LAMÉ DAEDALUS IS BACK

#Monsterdon

They're sending her out for that jelly stuff stuntmen put on when they light themselves on fire. #Monsterdon

For such a little people they have awlful big heads
#monsterdon
#hercules1985

A Grecian beaver: You're telling me sticks made this river?

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

They need No-man-krill? Is Odysseus a shrimp now?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@arrjay you have to send them back to kodak to get the photos off

#Monsterdon

This movie really likes its oversize head sculptures. My unfounded theory is that the mustachioed god platform is director's face.
#Monsterdon

The Subtitle/Dialogue mismatch is _rough_.

#monsterdon

I mean, better effects were possible in 1985 #Monsterdon

Okay now the "little people" are just making shit up to mess with their heads. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I mean, if it really makes science triumph, why would you need to use it more than once?? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Urania.. here is your task.. 30 minutes later.. got all that?

So many side quests #Monsterdon

"you must find the one and only material that can give protection to man"

... latex?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Uh oh... did she say "I'll be right back"? Or something like that? #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

wait the little people are the fates? what the actual hell

#monsterdon

So Dedalus is back.
Ugh, I just noted she has something of a "codpiece" herself
#monsterdon

"The one and only substance that can give humans protection against the flames...

"Cocaine. Lots of it. Good luck, kiddo, you're gonna need it."

#monsterdon

This movie's giving me the vibe of one of those old school click and interact video games.

#Monsterdon

I am very attached to these characters.

#Monsterdon

I don't mean to nitpick but that looks like a LARGE person, not a tiny one. #Monsterdon

It’s Daedalus again with the massive codpiece, and yet Minos can’t pronounce Daedalus’s name the same way he pronounced it in the last film.

With a codpiece like that, you’d think her name would’ve been much more memorable.

#Monsterdon

Wait… is the Hercules, or Zardoz? #Monsterdon

I won't be long!

Narrator: She was in fact, long.

#monsterdon

Urania loos a bit like Juliette Danielle and is a comparable actress #monsterdon #hercules1985

We're back on the same beach as we were before the forest. I thought we were going through the forest to somewhere else.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

That is three bolts. We're almost halfway there.
#Monsterdon

Minos's gaysaber has evolved to a new form! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Money shot from the SWORD OF SCIENCE #Monsterdon

Yaaaay Daedalesse!! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Beware ye Gods, of the science that ye have resurrected.. I ... don't know what is happening anymore and there are no consequences from the first movie so...

THE CLIP SHOW IS GOOD

THE COHERENT PLOT IS EVIL

#Monsterdon

“Good luck Urania!”

“Byeee!”

#monsterdon #hercules1985

Minos and his buddy give off some real Eridan Ampora energy when they talk about science.

This may be the worst post I've ever made

#monsterdon

the isles of la what?

#monsterdon

So the age of reason was ushered in via a magic sword? #Monsterdon

how come i didn't get a sweet ass glowing sword when i finished my degree?????

#monsterdon

the ancient naos of La-what now?

This movie from the UK? Oz?

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

Ok, whoever called out Zardoz earlier was prophetic.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

That's one giant stone head for the little people

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

C'mon, Hercules. Into this tight crevice. #Monsterdon

Is that the same as the blobby sword from last time? #Monsterdon

Zardoz again!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Ahh, the Sword of Minnesota. (Only available in January.)

#monsterdon #theadventuresofherculues1985

My Forest of Dangling Souls.

Kudos writers.

Kudos.

#Monsterdon

@trixter

I was expecting this sound cue when he found that second lightening bolt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX0x97UiC3w

#monsterdon

"We'll use this magic sword to prove science! ...Uh, I guess!" #Monsterdon

"With this sword, science will triumph!"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

ZARDOZ

#monsterdon

I seriously can't get enough of the sound effects. It's like shitty Thundar the Barbarian. #Monsterdon

Noooo, bat-eared gender-swapped Daedulus is back

Whyyy???

Also, how is the sword science??

#Monsterdon

oh wait, it's androgynous Chaos with their massive codpiece! how you doin', Chaos!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

They are really working the glowy special effects.
#Monsterdon

Imagine renting this from the video store in 1985. #monsterdon

Oh right, Daedalus the quote scientist unquote #Monsterdon

So in the beginning there were a bunch of planets, space, and one sword of ice

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Three out of Seven lightning bolts? He’s making good time. This movie will be over in no time.

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

"beware of science", he says, while holding a magic sword

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

Lou, that isn't an 'I just killed the guy whose death will free the souls' expression. That was clearly an 'I think I can solve for x in this linear algebra equation' expression

"with this magical ice sword, science will triumph!" #monsterdon

Is it a different dude dubbing Lou Ferrigno? He sounds like he's 170 lbs.
#monsterdon

Real "Quantity has a quality all its own"-ass movie we got going here, with how undercooked every single bit of action is so far

#Monsterdon

"I give it to you now. It is to be used only once.

"Because, you see, it's made of cotton candy."

#monsterdon

Again, Lou's just big, he's terrible at *portraying* physicality. #Monsterdon

This feels like someone's prototypical Immortal ttrpg scenario. #Monsterdon

None shall pass! And not even any dismembered limbs. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wasn't this in first movie? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

this is 50000% an outtake from the first movie, isn't it

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Forests of dangling souls" #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

Well we know who sucks at hiding thunderbolts

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

Okay, I think I saw "Forest of Dangling Souls" at SXSW as well

AND "The Third Thunderbolt"

I gotta lay off that whole joke now, ding-dang screenwriters

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

wow he even killed him to get the souls

#monsterdon

So far, the thunderbolt scavenger hunt is moving rather quickly.

#Monsterdon

Are these the Knight who say Ni? #Monsterdon

Herc's pecs did that flexing on their own thing again and GEEZ HERC DO YOU EVEN OWN A SHIRT?

#Monsterdon

Coupon number three already?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

So that's what Sting meant by the Soul Cages.. hmmm..

"Your death shall free their souls" seems like a pretty good motive, tbf #Monsterdon

That sword looks like a melted puppet.

#monsterdon

I wanna Steal His Look, honestly

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Of course it's a demon with a light saber. 1985 was that kind of year.

Herc don't have much to dangle

#Monsterdon

"You will join my forest of dangling souls!"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

"I have sent many people to Hades!" To the Elysian fields or...?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Somebody should make a shirt for Lou.

#Monsterdon

Ha ha, Herc scampering around the tree :P #Monsterdon

It's just a flesh wound. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

suddenly a dark souls boss

#monsterdon

it's the soul dangler

#monsterdon

The force is strong with this one. #Monsterdon

The third thunderbolt! pew pew!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
#Hercules1985
Hercules and the Forest of Unfinished Marionettes

"I have sent many a valiant soul to Hades"

Pal, we're ALL recommending Hades to people who haven't played it, you're not special #Monsterdon

something something god of tartar sauce

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@Binder he seems a jolly fellow! #Monsterdon

'Tis but a flesh wound #monsterdon #hercules1985