Imagine renting this from the video store in 1985. #monsterdon

Oh right, Daedalus the quote scientist unquote #Monsterdon

So in the beginning there were a bunch of planets, space, and one sword of ice

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Three out of Seven lightning bolts? He’s making good time. This movie will be over in no time.

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

"beware of science", he says, while holding a magic sword

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

Lou, that isn't an 'I just killed the guy whose death will free the souls' expression. That was clearly an 'I think I can solve for x in this linear algebra equation' expression

"with this magical ice sword, science will triumph!" #monsterdon

Is it a different dude dubbing Lou Ferrigno? He sounds like he's 170 lbs.
#monsterdon

Real "Quantity has a quality all its own"-ass movie we got going here, with how undercooked every single bit of action is so far

#Monsterdon

"I give it to you now. It is to be used only once.

"Because, you see, it's made of cotton candy."

#monsterdon

Again, Lou's just big, he's terrible at *portraying* physicality. #Monsterdon

This feels like someone's prototypical Immortal ttrpg scenario. #Monsterdon

None shall pass! And not even any dismembered limbs. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wasn't this in first movie? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

this is 50000% an outtake from the first movie, isn't it

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Forests of dangling souls" #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

Well we know who sucks at hiding thunderbolts

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

Okay, I think I saw "Forest of Dangling Souls" at SXSW as well

AND "The Third Thunderbolt"

I gotta lay off that whole joke now, ding-dang screenwriters

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

wow he even killed him to get the souls

#monsterdon

So far, the thunderbolt scavenger hunt is moving rather quickly.

#Monsterdon

Are these the Knight who say Ni? #Monsterdon

Herc's pecs did that flexing on their own thing again and GEEZ HERC DO YOU EVEN OWN A SHIRT?

#Monsterdon

Coupon number three already?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

So that's what Sting meant by the Soul Cages.. hmmm..

"Your death shall free their souls" seems like a pretty good motive, tbf #Monsterdon

I wanna Steal His Look, honestly

#monsterdon

That sword looks like a melted puppet.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Of course it's a demon with a light saber. 1985 was that kind of year.

Herc don't have much to dangle

#Monsterdon

"You will join my forest of dangling souls!"

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

"I have sent many people to Hades!" To the Elysian fields or...?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Somebody should make a shirt for Lou.

#Monsterdon

Ha ha, Herc scampering around the tree :P #Monsterdon

It's just a flesh wound. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

suddenly a dark souls boss

#monsterdon

it's the soul dangler

#monsterdon

The force is strong with this one. #Monsterdon

The third thunderbolt! pew pew!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
#Hercules1985
Hercules and the Forest of Unfinished Marionettes

"I have sent many a valiant soul to Hades"

Pal, we're ALL recommending Hades to people who haven't played it, you're not special #Monsterdon

something something god of tartar sauce

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@Binder he seems a jolly fellow! #Monsterdon

'Tis but a flesh wound #monsterdon #hercules1985

We're mocking this setup, but this was definitely a mid-arc plotline for a couple of episodes of Naruto.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The Rocketeer!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

This is giving "high schoolers fucking around in the park

#monsterdon

I thought he sounded wrong so I had to look it up. Lou's voice was dubbed over in this film. No big deal, just an interesting curiosity. I think they may have dubbed some of the actresses, too. #Monsterdon

Look, it’s the Blair Witch #monsterdon #hercules1985

I hear you distant background cuckoo. And I appreciate your contribution to this movie.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The laughter wasn't in the script, that's the mad giggling of the director. #Monsterdon

@xerozohar there are scenes?

#Monsterdon

gods this scene is dragging #monsterdon

fiddlers ran out of bow before the movie figured out the pacing, great job editors

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

You like how we could hear Hercules thoughts but only for one thought? Like we couldn't be trusted to figure out that he's using the shield as a mirror? #monsterdon

Pretend this is suspenseful at all. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ENDS

nothing happens

#monsterdon

This is just LARPing on someone else's tab. #Monsterdon

how do they know all these random fucking backstories of these """"hidden"""" monsters???

#monsterdon

now they have to brave the three dangers of the forest: quicksand, flame spurts, and- wait, wrong movie

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

I think I saw a stray giant mushroom?

Where can I get wind chimes like that they're cool #Monsterdon

"the little people" what are they, Hobbits? Where do they live? What the eat?
Tonight, on "The Adventures of Hercules"
#monsterdon
#hercules1985

Points for the screen wipes.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "they're dolls! Hundreds of thousands!"

Ok well, there's maybe 20 of them

These hanging dolls were super creepy before the exposition started.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Don't you mean... petrified?" #monsterdon #hercules1985

@helianthropy 👀 Valid question. #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

"This resembles hell on earth." What on earth? This is Greek mythology, not Christian!

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I mean it's a little creepy but "Hell on Earth" is a bit much.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

This resembles hell on earth.. I couldn't agree more. If you mean this movie.

This is so so affordable! Well done, prop dept. #Monsterdon

I'm not sure which is hokier, the dialogue or those FOAM MUSHROOMS. #Monsterdon

Dolls, hundred of thousand (off screen)
#monsterdon

Let us stand here and be pumped #Monsterdon

Clay figures discarded from local high school.

#Monsterdon #TheAdventuresOfHercules1985

#monsterdon THOU. SHANT. heheheheh.

"It's so gloomy here, like a land of lost souls"...
... Rhyl?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Why is the thunderbolt inside their belly? That’s gotta cause some awful indigestion.

#Monsterdon

cool Halloween decorations

"Land of Lost Souls"

#Monsterdon

imagine coming upon this set and not realizing people were filming a movie here.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"And to think Tartarus was once the favourite of zeus, until he made Zeus's teeth yellow"

#monsterdon

Can the medusa centipede-thing come back to life? That was the best part so far.
#Monsterdon

Spoopy mannequins. Clearly the work of a fiend. #Monsterdon

That was so many vertical wipes in a non Star Wars film.

#monsterdon

"Zeus has sent me here to find his Mighty Thunderbolts."

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

This movie just basically narrates everything #monsterdon #hercules1985

@trixter uhhhhhh giant fans yeah that's it. #monsterdon

Herc vs. The Knights Who Say NI!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

"looks around at hung-up foam characters" "It's so gloomy here!"

#monsterdon

Holy shit there is so much lore in here. Hercules II: the ttrpg. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🧔‍♂️ 💪 ⛰️⚡ ⛈️ 🌌 😱

my dental hygenist also fears the demon tartar

Who's in charge of keeping track of the scene thefts? #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

The claymation Medusa scorpion is my favorite character so far.
#Monsterdon

Nice scorpion monster!

Coupon number two acquired.

Where is he carrying them?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"He uses science against godly powers"

#monsterdon

Why do the gods have a giant glowing donut? Is it glowing because the donuts are fresh out of the fryer? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

I'm sorry please explain how he used "science" to change the winds back.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Let's just move on to the next monster fight, shall we? #monsterdon

#monsterdon

Wait until I activate the power of the Superzap button!

Walking montage! #monsterdon #hercules1985