Her dress hem must be SO dirty....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Funny to find the Spear of Longinus here, wow buddy, you made quite a journey!

Hercules is so smart. #Monsterdon

Did those women oil up his pecs when we weren't looking? #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

stop 🛑giving🙅divine👼artifacts💸to🤌sentient🧠trash🗑️piles👿

#monsterdon

Some day I will legitimately say "Welcome Earthlings, it is so rare to have you among us"

#Monsterdon

Come into Uran's Palace.
That sounds dirty and also like a Nickelodeon game show.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Yes go inside the stone-mouth, what's the worst that could happen inside a stone mouth? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

oh, that's not Doctor Who

#monsterdon

"I am... Fur-El. Come into my liminal backrooms..."

#monsterdon

"nobody is going to bother us here" *saxophone music starts* #monsterdon

that is a BIG cave, dang

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #hercules1985

One sister gets stuck in, the other just gets pushed around...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Punch-cam!

Rita Repulsa sent her acrobatic minions!
#Monsterdon

These tracks are side by side. Slime people always walk single file, to hide their numbers!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Didn't he have a little leather skirt last time? Now he's got leather undies with pointless side bits? #monsterdon

Did this just turn into Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, with the way these slime monsters are jumping and flipping into the fight?

#Monsterdon

Color punch is very batman

#Monsterdon

We rented a pneumatic catapult and by god we're gonna use it. #Monsterdon

Orcus?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon Peter Criss?

👊 🔴 🟢

#monsterdon

Urania kidnapped by Slime People!? That's w--

#Monsterdon

My forbidden valley is a VERY dangerous region. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

THE SLIME PEOPLE. I love it.

#monsterdon

"You should know this is a very dangerous region!

"It's full of mossy statues!"

#monsterdon

"I'm on a horse."
#monsterdon

@Lazarou

[Dares not look up Lou's political affiliation on Wikipedia]

#Monsterdon

Fish man corpse. With many pointy spears in it.

#Monsterdon #AdventuresOfHercules1985

someone destroyed a Tandy Leather here.

#monsterdon

This guy has done so many steroids, he's lactating them from his boobs

#Monsterdon

Hercules is so strong he pushed apart two frames of this movie and inserted frames of an entirely different movie between them

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Minos wants to go back to SLEEP

#monsterdon

I'll help you as soon as the DMT flashbacks end. #Monsterdon

"who awakens me... oh, man, bring me the sacred coffee of the Hesperides"

#Monsterdon

These teleportation effects are somethin else. Hope you weren't aiming for stealth.
#monsterdon

Sound engineer with one of those 1980s Laser Blaster toys

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

One of the goddesses lost a bet and they have to wear a tree on their head.

The Godesses apparently all curl their hair
#Monsterdon

[scribbling notes]

Me: okay, I need bones AND blood…

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

okay the dripping blood onto the skeleton is a pretty cool set piece

#Monsterdon

we're just gonna hold him upside down over the tomb like some kind of half-full ketchup bottle? okay...

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

They got this from one of the Christopher Lee Dracula films. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon Well, Chewbacca is apparently exothermic.

Jim Henson in a headband

Nyssa in a 1920s flapper headgear

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
#Hercules1985
Greek Goddess roll call!

one must take life. your. *zap*

okay, poorly delivered, but actually hilarious writing.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Safety woman!
#Monsterdon

The best Herc was DJ Kool Herc, founder of hip-hop.

#monsterdon

He shall rise again! To be upright bones!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Ah, the old 'sealed baddie in a tomb from the first movie' routine...

#Monsterdon

"Magic icepick? Sure.
I was just going to use a bag of salt."

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Call me obtuse, but I suspect the glowing thing does not contain the secrets of *darkness* per se. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Spaceman Hercules! Arriving in a splutch of fluid, white fluid, godstuff. SURE. **throws kleenex box**

Seems like the monsters are just going to come find Herc. This should be over in 15 minutes!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

@MatthewTitus88 It was kind of a great movie

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Awooooo!

#Monsterdon

“You always wanted to know the secrets of darkness…”

Pick-up lines from Greek mythology.

#Monsterdon

...So she hired Hegseth? #Monsterdon

FYI, Lou Ferrigno experienced 85% hearing loss as a toddler and it wasn't fixed with cochlear implants until 2021. Yes, even during this movie he was almost deaf. #Monsterdon

So they basically hired Gore-Ass because he was the most desperate?

#monsterdon

"Flora!"

"Fauna!"

"Fungi!" #monsterdon

"I know that because I hold the lifesaver of prophecy" #Monsterdon

"Ambitious, few scruples, and dumber than a sack of hammers. Perfect!"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

i can't tell any of these gods and goddesses apart but i know it doesn't matter

#monsterdon

I wonder if the glare's gonna be there the whole time? #Monsterdon #TheAdventuresofHercules1985

The level one boss had a thunderbolt! #monsterdon

Wait, it was the LIGHTNING BOLT's fursona? #Monsterdon

Quest coupon number one acquired.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Now for some greek wrestling witha guy in a ghillie suit for the fetishists in the audience

#Monsterdon

And the day is saved thanks to Stickules.
Wait that was a thunderbolt? Whut? I... how does that work?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Enkidu from Epic of Gilgamesh has to take whatever work he can get these days. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Wait it has a muzzle. Didn't Swamp Thing kill this furry beast?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Hercules used Murder Stick

It was super effective!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

This yeti is going to become a yeeti.

Herc, don't hit him! He's just trying to wish you a Happy Life Day!

#Monsterdon

Do you feel punched in the face yet?

#monsterdon

Herc vs. Bigfoot!

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

Hercules looked a bit like a muscular Ken doll.

#Monsterdon

did the horse just howl?

#monsterdon

Am I watching the right one?

#monsterdon

@flowerpot The way I've always heard it, it's whether the conversation is *about* a man, not whether one is mentioned (although it probably doesn't matter for the point the test was supposed to make)

Anyway there was an earlier conversation that would probably qualify, when the two women were near the fire talking about Ilia's sacrifice

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Herc is still lacking something #Monsterdon

"We must summon the greatest warrior ever known" But since Schwarzenegger is waaaaay to expensive we'll summon Hercules instead. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

That's $350 in the awoo jar for you, and $350 in the awoo jar for you, and

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Yep, the nekkid Ken Doll Hercules is just as disturbing this time

#Monsterdon

uh

where'd he get the horse?

is that a space horse?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon Wait a minnit... are we doing oracular crap, or summoning the little fairy twins linked to Mothra? Oh, why not. EVERYONE ENJOY THE MONSTERDON JAMBOREE!!!

Retrieve my seven thunderbolds of exposition, Hercules!

#Monsterdon

Ken doll Hercules

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

that's exactly how the moon orbits the Earth, jauntily!

#Monsterdon

“Ok but we can only go to the valley after our shift at Sbarros” #Monsterdon

I'm sorry is that ZEUS lamenting that there's wickedness in Olympus?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Partial transparency is an indication of power, judging by Zeus here, right?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

THEY ARE CRYING FOR HERCULES

THE PEOPLE! DEMAND! HERCULES!

HERCULES SMASH!

#monsterdon

You could have solved this if you enlisted Prometheus, Zeus...

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Is that a different Zeus? Is Lou the only returning actor?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985