For someone who is super into science this guy doesn't actually do any science

#monsterdon

Not who you think I am? Madam I think you overestimate my cunning. I have had no idea who you are this entire time! #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"Not again"

My reaction exactly Herc.

#Monsterdon

"Scientifically altered her destiny."

Wait, we have contender.

#monsterdon

You did abandon Glaucia to go on your side quest under the sea....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Don't call it a comeback.

'somehow, minos returned'

#monsterdon

@wohali yes, but far more slowly

#Monsterdon

"I'm back"

Classic Minos

#Monsterdon

Let's wrap this up shall we Hercules

#Monsterdon

She was working for science all the time! #Monsterdon

Oh no Glaucia and Urania were not a couple I am so disappointed #monsterdon #hercules1985

Fake Glaucia!

#Monsterdon

Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal! #monsterdon

okay sure that's great but none of this MEANS anything because the plot was conceived by a dipshit. #Monsterdon

Gods look at each other like "what"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon

This really is trippy now.. I don't need edibles after all..

People standing around in caves talking! Hercules! #monsterdon

Everybody here's like "damn what was in those brownies"

why is the web magnetic tho

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

This is a Mirror Universe literal gag.

#monsterdon

THERE IS STILL 20 MINUTES LEFT.
#Monsterdon

oh man the mentos are kickin' in

#monsterdon

oh, it's the temple of robotripping

#Monsterdon

"Never is only a question of time."

In a movie full of absolute nonsense, that was the absolute nonsensest.
#Monsterdon

Okay, there's also something in greek mythology, but "hesperia" makes me think of the planet mars

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@WhiteCatTamer

If the actor who voiced the Heen the Corgi in "Howl's Moving Castle" did, why not her?

#Monsterdon
#Hercules1985

@bryanhowell Gorus would've got the job done, but they traded him in for someone older, lamer, and much more treacherous.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

this movie is failing to inspire much direct interest in me so I guess since I'm already thinkin about Daedalus I'll share a bit of snooplore:

I know the myth of Daedalus mostly because of Deus Ex, because I found the character of the same name to be so compelling (not that they're a deep character, mind)

thanks, Warren Spector et al.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"Zeus is nil. Do you get it? Nil is a science word."

legit burst out laughing at "for me, the goal of science is to release chaos and disorder"

#Monsterdon

I mean, I don't think "never" IS only a matter of time.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Always!

#Monsterdon

As Gods, we can confuse the people into refusing your science!

#Monsterdon

Minos sure as fuck wasn't invincible last movie Hera.

Also what do these movies have against science?!?

#Monsterdon

He's pretty ungrateful for a guy who was a pile of bones an hour ago

#Monsterdon
#TheAdventuresOfHercules

ooo that was a good laugh
Minos is cooking way harder this time around

#monsterdon

Science lets you shoot eye lasers now

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"They took hercules! Also whatever I'm saying has vastly different syllables than the equivalent english!" #monsterdon

At least the director watches other films. #Monsterdon

DEATH BY CHICKLET

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh no! They're gradually getting away!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Bugs bunny could have stopped hercules becoming a strangler if there were any I beams around to drop on him.
#Monsterdon #PreshowReference

I feel like this movie doesn’t understand what science is

#Monsterdon

"His science is invincible"

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Imagine paying to see this film in the theatre.

#monsterdon

"His science is invincible"

Must be nice to be the only expert in one's field like Minos.
#Monsterdon

I'm just the right age to have grown up on the old Lou Ferrigno movies and I am so sad to have missed not one BUT TWO of these fantastic, ridiculous, terrible gems because I am also just the right age to be too tired to do #Monsterdon most of the time 😅

Daedalus: “For me, the goal of science is to release chaos.”

That’s the exact opposite of science!

#Monsterdon

"The goal of science is to release chaos and disorder!"

I don't think that word means what you think it means. #Monsterdon

that's quite the alien jock strap

#Monsterdon

If herc punches too fast we're gonna need a photosensitive epilepsy warning. Might need one anyhow. #monsterdon

(everybody together now)

In the not so distant future...

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

FIFTERBOLT

#monsterdon

So no one told them what a spider looked like I guess?
#monsterdon

anyway, let's have our hero choke a woman to death with no setup

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Fun fact.

The same people who did the special effects for Star Wars did not work on this film.

Strangling the spider queen was a bit..... 😬

#Monsterdon

well that was...direct, Hercules.

#monsterdon

So… the Spider Queen was a bit of a letdown, huh?

#Monsterdon

Zeus forbid Lou Ferrigno shows a facial expression

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Somehow I doubt this Hercules is going to seduce the queen of the Amazons and steal her girdle.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

God have mercy. Just end this. #monsterdon

oh all it took was summoning the powers of light, no problem #monsterdon

@bryanhowell and the mind... of a human

#Monsterdon

Spider goddess is into suffocation play?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

#monsterdon "Transfer unto Hercules the energy to win!"

Yeah, I guess that should take care of it.

Probably should have done that an hour ago.

he's not gonna throw anything into space, is he?

#monsterdon

Herc is enjoying this a little too much

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

A _magnetic_ web? What's that gonna do to Hercules, I mean, a less magnetic actor than Lou Ferringo you're not gonna

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

why is the web magnetic tho

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@jonny why do you doubt the power of the net?

#Monsterdon

Go. Leave me.

No, wait, stay, leave me.

Go. Stay here.

Uh...

#monsterdon

Impractical female armor never falls out of fashion. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

That temple is in the shape of a giant spider!

#Monsterdon

Queen of spiders? Lolth?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"You brought me a _man?_ A _MAN?!_ What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@bryanhowell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

See what I mean? Throw a net on Hercules, and he’s as good as captured.

https://don.monster/@ramsey/116196571826237838

#Monsterdon

"Rise from the flames my queen!"
- the gay agenda.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

"rise and let your burning flesh melt together"

okay, okay, I'm up already

#Monsterdon

that dink will fetch a good price on the market /ref

#Monsterdon

Electric net? Is Hercules a kaiju?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

No, not the net!

#monsterdon

yay, that shot looking up at Hercules's chest is enough for me to tick off "Gratuitous Muscle Scot"

Cool electric net, too

#Monsterdon

Oh no, Herc's one weakness! Nets! #Monsterdon

This movie makes the first one feels some much better than it really was.
#monsterdon
#hercules1985

Hey, do you suppose the amazons donate their spare boobs to Martian sex workers?

hashtag deep thoughts

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Taste the fist of Hercules! PEW!

"Drop the entire internet on him! AWS 1 2 and 3!" #monsterdon

her earring got ripped off
#Monsterdon

She feels another presence? Is she betazoid? #monsterdon

Forershadowing: Amazon is evil. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Funny how ancient greek temples have always been ruins. Even in pre-historic times of gods and heros.

They must have been built that way.

I call boob parity error on the amazons

#Monsterdon

Nobody knows how to use the element of surprise in this movie

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

throw them into space!

#monsterdon

Where are the Power Rangers when you need them? #monsterdon #hercules1985

The Amazons of Sydney? That doesn't look like the Opera House...

#monsterdon

I think it would be quite fun to be a stunt person in this movie, for real

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

And then, the Oracle spent 100s of miilions of dollars on data centers...