#monsterdon Funny how ancient greek temples have always been ruins. Even in pre-historic times of gods and heros.
They must have been built that way.
I call boob parity error on the amazons
Nobody knows how to use the element of surprise in this movie
throw them into space!
Where are the Power Rangers when you need them? #monsterdon #hercules1985
The Amazons of Sydney? That doesn't look like the Opera House...
I think it would be quite fun to be a stunt person in this movie, for real
And then, the Oracle spent 100s of miilions of dollars on data centers...
We could tell you, but that would end the plot #Monsterdon
If these Little People donβt end up being a troop of ferrets just Redwalling it up in leather bikinis, Iβm gonna be very upset.
#Monsterdon
These supernatural forces are super into sudden death.
character in the movie *also* being jump-scared by the bad editing-room effects
Well, I missed the first half of #monsterdon, but that's OK. I tuned in just in time to see this magic space thing give a re-cap of the plot.
Trivia: Lou Ferrigno played two games in the Canadian Football League (CFL) for the Toronto Argonauts.
He was let go after he broke the legs of a fellow player during a scrimage match. π¬
Chapter 5: Yourania visits the planetarium
ayahuasca is one hell of a drug #monsterdon #hercules1985
oh wow they actually bothered to change the lighting on her when the orbs flew nearby
[triumphant zooming] #Monsterdon
Where do I find a skull table that offers free potions?
The "Temple" isn't much more than a dollar store aquarium decoration #Monsterdon
#monsterdon this movie is turning into Xanadu so gradually I almost didn't notice
gotta say, this *is* some cool space footage
I didn't realize transmitting my thoughts could only be done in a white bikini top. I've been so foolish!
This is just Danzig's living room
Special Effects Budget:
30% Glowy Crap
70% Chest Waxing
#Monsterdon
This girl accepts drinks from strangers too easily...
"Why is it always DEATH?"
Oracle of Death implies Amazon of Torture and Meta ofβ¦ well letβs not go there #monsterdon #hercules1985
ok we're just drinking the potions that glowing skulls give us now huh
Well, at least he temporarily knocked something into space #Monsterdon
"the temple has always meant a lot to the little people"
and what drugs were being smoked when you saw them.....and do you have some to share?
why do they keep splitting up
They should just put a little lightning bolt chyron on the screen:
THREE BOLTS TO GO
#monsterdon
Gotta admit the women in this movie can hold their own pretty well.
Did we get a Bechtel pass?
#Monsterdonπ§ββοΈ πͺ β°οΈβ‘ βοΈ π π±
it is pretty impressive how little Lou actually moves
βIce to meet you!β
I guess swords can do anything now. Frost a woman and throw electricity, whatever..
Hyper Dimension Urania #monsterdon
I hope you all that voted on #Hercules1985 are proud of this movie
#monsterdon
I think slide whistles would have made better sound effects
These god costumes are wild, did they even bother to sew them or they just wrap some fabric around peoples bodies and thatβs it? #monsterdon #hercules1985
Minos just scienced all over Flora.
"Why should I be afraid of you? Your lightsaber is clearly straight now"
#monsterdon Minos looks like a playing card
that's cold, bro #monsterdon
Four out of Seven Ain't Bad, Minos!
@catzilla I thought we rebelled against Zeus so we wouldn't all get deception-raped every week. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
* do two men
* have a conversation
* about something other than a thunderbolt
"Minos, it is I, the beautiful goddess Flora.
I understand you trust no-one.
If I had been cucked by a cow, I probably would have trust issues too."
I bet Hercules could throw all these people into space if he wanted
No we get it, you don't have to show Forbidden Planet monster again. #monsterdon
this Zeus isn't very convincing. very patriarchal and actually-concerned, and not even the slightest bit "I will fuck anything with a consciousness and several things without"
Good thing we've got three goddesses to explain what's going on offscreen -- there's no budget for actually showing it!
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985
This movie is too dumb to need all this exposition.
The Zeus-Free Network.
Critics: Itβs ghastly! Itβs hell on earth! Take it away!
"This is just the beginning" Oh god. It's already been 50 minutes. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985
@allanb yes, very, thanks
So how your you going to loot the corpse when it's in some ocean half way around the planet?
@allanb yes, yes we are
Yay! Into space then the sea!
it's fine, Hercules punched the monster of pure energy and it exploded
also, a thunderbolt was located. apparently.
And he punched off into the sea. #Monsterdon
Fortunately, the monster had one weakness: punching
He punched fire IN THE FACE #monsterdon #hercules1985
How convenient that they didn't have to walk back. #Monsterdon
Then they told him his cholesterol level....
#Monsterdonπ§ββοΈ πͺ β°οΈβ‘ βοΈ π π±
Lou, that was actually a pretty good 'Anteus I'm ready for you' face, there for a moment!
so we got an OM, we got an upside-down 7
Even when they're about to die the characters are narrating
They really just copied that from Forbidden Planet, didn't you.
"It's GHASTLY!"
Actually I think it's Gengar. #Monsterdon
Just mermaids with pasties chillin.
#monsterdon
Ok movie, not EVERY SINGLE SCENE needs some sort of optical effect. #monsterdon
the LAST daughter of [whatever]?
um, well, that kinda takes the drama out of the earlier prediction that Urania would be the next sacrifice, if she was literally the only choice
ghastly is a weird way to describe a cartoon lightning monster
I bet craft services on this was am/pm level at best. BYO food if you wanted to eat. #monsterdon
i know this shield! this is unix!
Had this movie been done today I would swear it was written by AI #monsterdon #hercules1985
how is this so much more boring than the first one? he isn't even throwing anything into space
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
I know this shield. This is Hernan!
#Monsterdon
In a normally-structured story, this would be the climax
I get the feeling this is not a normally-structured story
okay why would the moon falling kill the gods tho
you've explicitly *shown* us they live way up in space???
HA HA YOU'VE BEEN GONE 200 YEARS, SUCKERS
This movie is basically a guide about how to beat a game.
The amount of repetition suggests they thought only five year olds would be watching this.
I've totally lost track of what thing they need to gather, to defeat what thing, to stop what destruction.
oh, so *THIS* is where they got the idea for that Moonfall movie from
Here, take this bong #monsterdon #hercules1985
I've played MMOs with better plots than this. Hell, I've played MMOs with fewer FETCH QUESTS than this fucking movie. #Monsterdon
Shout-out to all the rotoscopers who worked so hard on this movie. Genuinely
Does this actress get credit for a speaking role or not? π€
#Monsterdon
Even the dialogue is exposition
SWEAR TO GODS who decided that "magic" in this movie equals "looking like you're a walking Van der Graaf generator"?
Hhhgh. Everything in this movie is The Something OF Something, where Some Guy did Some Thing. #Monsterdon
Losing my mind that the potion FLEW THEM through the water to some point, after which they have to walk. Like the potion was on their way somewhere & just dropped the heroes off at the nearest seahorse statue #Monsterdon
I mean what is the other sister doing during all this? Did they leave a note?
No budget for the whale song this time? #monsterdon