the boulevard of broken boats #monsterdon

The Shelley Winters character didn't deserve this #monsterdon

...and now it undercuts itself by most? all? of the kids still being alive?

literally not one directorial decision in this film makes any goddamn sense, not even when copying something better

#monsterdon #Tentacles

That was Tango, Echo and the Laser class flag on the boat
#monsterdon

This whole regatta attack sequence is edited like an expressionist music video, and I’m having trouble with it. #monsterdon

that could have totally turned the movie around in that moment, where we go from "a bunch of who knows wtf is going on" to "now the town is galvanized to find the octopus and believes it exists" and whatnot, with the coast guard chopper overhead to see it but helpless to do anything but report back.... #monsterdon

Inquest concludes: Kids are really bad at boating.

#monsterdon

this...might be the most nonsensical disaster YET #monsterdon

and also did it very badly

#monsterdon #Tentacles

RIP those kids. But if I was in a sail boat racing an octopus I would simply not be dragged to my watery death. Guess I'm just built different.
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Is that a complete wipeout? These tentacles mean business #Monsterdon

Hey octopus, would you do us all a favor and eat this portion of the soundtrack

#Monsterdon

Sailboat races: the drum solo of horror movies #monsterdon

I mean, they started off by killing a baby in the first minute, did anyone really think that junior regatta massacre was going to be across the line for them?

#Monsterdon

OK, theory, the music composer never saw the any of the movie and just wrote the music blind

#Monsterdon

"...Tommy can you hear me"

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#monsterdon wow this death chase scene is hella long

Ha ha ha, the octopus has a driver-side camera mounted! It's collecting footage for the Mythbusters! #Monsterdon

It’s all going sideways and the people on the shore are still smiling. #Monsterdon #Tentacles

Sorry movie. The octopus eyes cruising through the water is not as scary as a shark fin. #monsterdon #Tentacles

So my video file is not broken? This is the editing? #monsterdon #tentacles

My siblings in sin what is even happening right now #Monsterdon

would something happen please?

#Monsterdon

Child: “These were the days when people would just throw in random stuff and call it a film” #monsterdon

lol, all but one #monsterdon

#monsterdon yes, that 2x3 chalkboard is very useful

Octopuses HATE regattas, it is a well known fact
#monsterdon

#monsterdon the sound track needs more cowbell

#monsterdon The detectives don't do anything so I really know what's the point of them in the story.

What the hell is going on? We have some stand up comedian saying some random shit pub joke. Some people talking on walkie talkies, but we can't hear what they say. And these freeze frames of random shit. And rockin harpsichord with the danger coast guard chopper doing who knows what while the sail boats try to sail.

#monsterdon

WHY is this film subjecting us to this painfully unfunny comedian's routine? #Monsterdon

Might I suggest that when your movie shows people talking on walkie-talkies, the audio track should be somewhat connected to what those people are saying

#Monsterdon

Is the movie doing slideshow pics or is that just me? #Monsterdon

@blogdiva an underwater harpsichord planned by an octopus or possibly squid #Monsterdon

The still shots. Did that happen?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

so seeing this scene knowing that they planned to have an octopus be a part of it and shooting around it with the tipped over boats and shit is actually extremely good. #monsterdon

He just wasted half his shotgun shells. They're going to have to punch the octopus to death.

#monsterdon

JESUS CHRIST.

Octopi don't swim like WW2 subs running on the surface.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Ok, the boat racing shots are good, credit where it's due #Monsterdon

Ah yes, the junior regatta. Or as it's known to the octopus, the 20 piece mcnugget meal. #Monsterdon

shelley's hat game in this is actually legendary
#monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon Why did they still shot that .. uh .. shot?

is that a harpsichord?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Oh NOW the octopus has to be destroyed

Where were you people half an hour ago
#Monsterdon

WAIT what?! I don't know shit about ocean wildlife but I'm pretty sure a giant octopus can travel more than 30 miles.
#informthepublic
#Monsterdon

So, we all just agree it is a giant squid killing everyone right? No other theories? Okay, cool
#monsterdon

She is so obviously a non-English speaker

#monsterdon

octopus style kung fu vs tiger claw kung fu #monsterdon

I’m at a complete loss. We’ve got a long scene of straight vibes of people just at the shore in the middle of the night. And boats in the background. Very strange contrast to the last sequence which involved octomurder and chaos. #monsterdon

"I've read that the suckers on a tentacle are like the claws on a tiger."

Where did you read this, sir?

#monsterdon #tentacles

"...I read the suckers on a tentacle are like the claws on a tiger."
"What? That makes no sense at all."

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

If they were going to suspend the regatta, they probably should have done it BEFORE all the kids got out on the water in their little sailboats.
#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe shelley winters is going to fight the octopus 1v1 in the grand finale. she will defeat the monster by showing it her hat to distract it and then punching it. #monsterdon

A classic American parade: one baton twirler, six interpretive dancers, and five cheerleaders around a slow moving car with a megaphone guy on it

#Monsterdon

Kinda sorta want this soundtrack.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Lasers are a fucking blast
#monsterdon

okay, whiplash into the parade scene. because THE RACE IS GONNA GO! #monsterdon

Plot?

Some people get killed by a giant octopus and it ends in a boat race anyway

#monsterdon

Kids these days don't do enough baton twirling. #Monsterdon

That's right, in the '70s we rode in the back of pickups sitting on the tailgate with no restraints. And we liked it that way. At least those of us who survived.

#Monsterdon

Thought it was a musical there for a minute. #monsterdon

What the fuck am I watching? People watching a boat drift by while someone noodles on a flute and keyboard? This movie loves the backs of people's heads so much it wrote a love them to them.
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

this crowd scene is moody af #monsterdon

Those clothes are a fire hazard.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Is the boat race more of an expo that happens to take place late at night or something?

#monsterdon #tentacles

Me: What happened?
Writer: Fuck off
#monsterdon

It's wild, like, I *know* there's a plot happening here. If pressed, I could PROBABLY give you the broad strokes. But moment-by-moment? I got NOTHIN'. It's like a series of blank screens populated by mannequins. #Monsterdon

The sad Tentacles dirge. #Monsterdon

So. Many. Cigars.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Wow, there really is *nothing* to do late at night in this town, is there?

#monsterdon

who are these people tho?

#monsterdon

i don't have any idea what the point of that scene was with everyone by the ocean all i know is that the soundtrack was the bomb. basically all the dialogue is just like choppy music, it contributes nothing to a sense of meaning only to an auditory ambiance #monsterdon

#Yankees lost to the Detroit Tigers, 2 to 3

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

What is going on? Why are all these people here? With this music?
#monsterdon

She'll be fine
#monsterdon

This harpsichord is making me think I'm playing a knock off Zelda game.

On the NES.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Every time I hear the harpsichord, I imagine the octopus tip-toeing on the bottom of the ocean.

That was some very wonderful miniature work and Dave is happy. #Monsterdon

yes go back to the previous boat, the octopus will never return to the scene of its crimes

#monsterdon #Tentacles

I laughed at the harpsichord
#monsterdon

Was that a miniature ship? Do we have a proper kaiju movie on our hands?

#monsterdon #tentacles

who ARE all these people and WHAT are they doing there #monsterdon

The dummies are only _slightly_ less lifelike than the actors, print it

#monsterdon #Tentacles

It's a bobbing buoy! ✅

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

now

stupid question

but might that be a RADIO BUOY on the wreck? #monsterdon

Everyone. Is. Expendable. #Monsterdon

Sounds like an Air track.

#monsterdon

ok, that was some fun interleaving of model work with practical FX. Finally.

#monsterdon

What would be better if the monster were half octopus, half shark, you know? #monsterdon

#monsterdon What's the whole point of turner investigating when they kinda already know it's an octopus? Idk it's kinda boring.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Henry Fonda only has time for 2 cameras. Deal with it.

#Monsterdon 🐙 🦑 🐙 🦑 😱

Shelley just gets one inexplicable costume after another, but I appreciate that she typically includes some kinda hat

OK get in the back of the truck we're heading to the boat launch to do some unaccompanied sailing in the open ocean

It wouldn't be the 1970s without child endangerment #Monsterdon

Seriously what IS this soundtrack? Did they just grab whatever instruments were left in the Lost and Found after the Philharmonic annual end-of-season bender or what? #Monsterdon

I want to see one of these Italian actresses with long tresses standing on a giant scallop shell instead of whatever they're making them do now #monsterdon

Yes, feed the octopus more yachts!

The orcas can help!

#monsterdon

lol @ second Octopus boat attack

#monsterdon

#monsterdon she needs to GTFO

oh great now we got OWLS? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Threatening to sue the reporter, claiming there’s “no scientific proof,” funded by a major company… we have Octopus Deniers!