This guy wants to f*ck this whale.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

„Alright, enough said“ YOU THINK? #monsterdon

"well at least they're alive" unlike this movie, which died long, long ago. #monsterdon

"If I release you and you go away, I'll understand."

Oh, great. Good, that's a relief. Fuck off, human. #Monsterdon

this is the rambliest speech

#monsterdon

"If I release you and you go away. FAR AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE I'll understand" #monsterdon #Tentacles

Oh, thank god! The orcas are going to save the day, and this is the best monologue from the entire film. I feel like maybe it was truly heartfelt.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Um is this the call of mermaids and sirens I'm hearing?

I'm going to use all the sound effects and you can't stop me!

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977

@blogdiva that's only if they end up in the tuna nets? #ChecksNotes #Monsterdon

like there's a disconnect with the actors demeanor and emotions and the words they're saying. they're unrelated

#monsterdon

the biggest win continues to be the soundtrack by far this shit is great #monsterdon

More stuff happens in the ad breaks than in this movie #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 curly hair guy talks to his Orca pals, his secret weapon against the evil octopus. He explains that they are chill creatures and should not be called "killers" while feeding them fish. I guess he plans to free them in hopes that they will do battle against their mortal enemies.

@trixter Definitely clairvoyant. To counter the psychic crabs #monsterdon

"They used to call you killers. They used to call me that on the street."

Oh JFC.

#Monsterdon

some of it is that the audio is bad but some of it is that the actors aren't like acting at all

they're just saying stuff

#monsterdon

Ohhhhh, he's the fish whisperer.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW TO THE RESCUE #Monsterdon #tentacles

@jonny the real octopus was man all along #Monsterdon

@Lazarou Or, hear me out, Orca joins Tentacles and takes out the rest of the boats.
#Monsterdon

"This one's different. This one's tasted blood." Just like every other octopus?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977

all octopi large or small have a sense of foresight

#AnimalFacts #monsterdon

"all octopi large or small have a sense of foresight" - clearly not if they are going to appear in this movie

#Monsterdon

Movie: "All octopi, large or small, have a sense of foresight."

Everyone in our living room: "What?!"

#Monsterdon

"Sure there wasnt anyone else?"
*half-hearted shrug*
##Monsterdon

Can I get a professor of music to weigh in on this fucking movie's sound track? I feel like @reillypascal might have some input on this. (Soundtrack of Tentacles (1977)) #monsterdon #tentacles

maybe not feed _what_ for a while? octopus babies? fish? gremlins?

#monsterdon #Tentacles

i don't think blonde oceanographic dude has a girlfriend, i think he's in a thruple with two orcas. this is just by way of saying that maybe there is room for Gandalf in their family after all. #monsterdon

#monsterdon I swear now they're playing the military slow march sounding snare part on the hi-hat.

Also: 🎶 This is also not-a-submarine

actual footage of me during the dialogue scenes

#monsterdon on

I genuinely don't see how this film could continue for another half an hour. #Monsterdon

"Sure there wasn't anybody else?"

No? Oh well, I guess we lost a few kids. Whatever, let's not worry about it.

#monsterdon

@allanb Yabbut that's at 1 frame per minute? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon This tragic scene ruined by (a) bad acting, (b) inappropriate music, (c) utter lack of the extras taking it seriously. Minimum wage work, I imagine.

@allanb yeah I think the implication is that one got eaten

#Monsterdon

@allanb nothing's happened yet, why would anything start happening now?

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@Lazarou @moira When I saw all the boats capsized and no one around, I assumed they were all dead. Then, we see Coast Guard ships with all the boaters crammed on them? When did that happen? #Monsterdon

Honest to god, I want a peek into the mind of the composer for this film. They are doing WILD shit and I don't know whether to be terrified or amazed. #Monsterdon

Snare drums of war. It just got real #Monsterdon

@Lazarou Even cowardice implies intent, I don't even think there's that much happening here!

#monsterdon #Tentacles

So the octopus ate only 1 kid?

I feel ripped off

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Lol wtf are the parents doing? They should be focused on the race not uncle sam.

the boulevard of broken boats #monsterdon

The Shelley Winters character didn't deserve this #monsterdon

...and now it undercuts itself by most? all? of the kids still being alive?

literally not one directorial decision in this film makes any goddamn sense, not even when copying something better

#monsterdon #Tentacles

That was Tango, Echo and the Laser class flag on the boat
#monsterdon

This whole regatta attack sequence is edited like an expressionist music video, and I’m having trouble with it. #monsterdon

that could have totally turned the movie around in that moment, where we go from "a bunch of who knows wtf is going on" to "now the town is galvanized to find the octopus and believes it exists" and whatnot, with the coast guard chopper overhead to see it but helpless to do anything but report back.... #monsterdon

Inquest concludes: Kids are really bad at boating.

#monsterdon

this...might be the most nonsensical disaster YET #monsterdon

and also did it very badly

#monsterdon #Tentacles

Is that a complete wipeout? These tentacles mean business #Monsterdon

Hey octopus, would you do us all a favor and eat this portion of the soundtrack

#Monsterdon

Sailboat races: the drum solo of horror movies #monsterdon

I mean, they started off by killing a baby in the first minute, did anyone really think that junior regatta massacre was going to be across the line for them?

#Monsterdon

OK, theory, the music composer never saw the any of the movie and just wrote the music blind

#Monsterdon

"...Tommy can you hear me"

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#monsterdon wow this death chase scene is hella long

It’s all going sideways and the people on the shore are still smiling. #Monsterdon #Tentacles

Sorry movie. The octopus eyes cruising through the water is not as scary as a shark fin. #monsterdon #Tentacles

So my video file is not broken? This is the editing? #monsterdon #tentacles

My siblings in sin what is even happening right now #Monsterdon

would something happen please?

#Monsterdon

Child: “These were the days when people would just throw in random stuff and call it a film” #monsterdon

lol, all but one #monsterdon

#monsterdon yes, that 2x3 chalkboard is very useful

Octopuses HATE regattas, it is a well known fact
#monsterdon

#monsterdon the sound track needs more cowbell

#monsterdon The detectives don't do anything so I really know what's the point of them in the story.

What the hell is going on? We have some stand up comedian saying some random shit pub joke. Some people talking on walkie talkies, but we can't hear what they say. And these freeze frames of random shit. And rockin harpsichord with the danger coast guard chopper doing who knows what while the sail boats try to sail.

#monsterdon

WHY is this film subjecting us to this painfully unfunny comedian's routine? #Monsterdon

Might I suggest that when your movie shows people talking on walkie-talkies, the audio track should be somewhat connected to what those people are saying

#Monsterdon

Is the movie doing slideshow pics or is that just me? #Monsterdon

@blogdiva an underwater harpsichord planned by an octopus or possibly squid #Monsterdon

The still shots. Did that happen?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

so seeing this scene knowing that they planned to have an octopus be a part of it and shooting around it with the tipped over boats and shit is actually extremely good. #monsterdon

He just wasted half his shotgun shells. They're going to have to punch the octopus to death.

#monsterdon

JESUS CHRIST.

Octopi don't swim like WW2 subs running on the surface.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Ok, the boat racing shots are good, credit where it's due #Monsterdon

Ah yes, the junior regatta. Or as it's known to the octopus, the 20 piece mcnugget meal. #Monsterdon

shelley's hat game in this is actually legendary
#monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon Why did they still shot that .. uh .. shot?

is that a harpsichord?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Oh NOW the octopus has to be destroyed

Where were you people half an hour ago
#Monsterdon

WAIT what?! I don't know shit about ocean wildlife but I'm pretty sure a giant octopus can travel more than 30 miles.
#informthepublic
#Monsterdon

So, we all just agree it is a giant squid killing everyone right? No other theories? Okay, cool
#monsterdon

She is so obviously a non-English speaker

#monsterdon

octopus style kung fu vs tiger claw kung fu #monsterdon

"I've read that the suckers on a tentacle are like the claws on a tiger."

Where did you read this, sir?

#monsterdon #tentacles

"...I read the suckers on a tentacle are like the claws on a tiger."
"What? That makes no sense at all."

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

If they were going to suspend the regatta, they probably should have done it BEFORE all the kids got out on the water in their little sailboats.
#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe shelley winters is going to fight the octopus 1v1 in the grand finale. she will defeat the monster by showing it her hat to distract it and then punching it. #monsterdon

A classic American parade: one baton twirler, six interpretive dancers, and five cheerleaders around a slow moving car with a megaphone guy on it

#Monsterdon

Kinda sorta want this soundtrack.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Lasers are a fucking blast
#monsterdon

okay, whiplash into the parade scene. because THE RACE IS GONNA GO! #monsterdon

Plot?

Some people get killed by a giant octopus and it ends in a boat race anyway

#monsterdon

Kids these days don't do enough baton twirling. #Monsterdon

That's right, in the '70s we rode in the back of pickups sitting on the tailgate with no restraints. And we liked it that way. At least those of us who survived.

#Monsterdon