Ink attack, I like it

#Monsterdon

I *guess* that dive was short enough that it's no decompression, but coming up that fast seems risky.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Network cables! I knew it! We're hunting a Sysadmin! #monsterdon

I do like the fancy SCUBA gear, and the weird light quality makes me wonder if they're actually at something near the 29 fathoms they mentioned. Or if it's just a filter.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Octopus apparently hates electronics. Must be a Luddite. #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai @lorgonumputz hell, he's carrying the whole movie! He's the real hero! #Monsterdon

The movie used the term "broads." Pretty sure we won't pass the Bechdel test on this one. 🙄

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

(milhouse fireworks factory meme) when are they gonna get to the octopus?!

#monsterdon

I did not check doesthewhaledie dot com

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

So the octopus doesn’t really eat people? Just sucks on them for a while like a hard candy? #Monsterdon #tentacles

(*Orcas plotting)

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 New characters dropped:
Old Dude: puttering around his house, pondering the sea, super relatable
GILF: his energetic wife
Generic Child: I guess a grandson?
Business Guy and Business Guy Henchman: complaining about Mr. Turner, a journalist and also his business, which maybe is tunnel making? I'm not sure.

tell you what i don't need

this movie

but goddamn I'll tell you what i do need

and it's this paycheque

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@wohali @Taweret they only had the budget for 140 harpsichord notes across the whole movie, so they had to be sparing

#monsterdon

I choose to believe octopus is moodily playing the harpsichord at the bottom of the sea #monsterdon

I'd love to know what made Henry Fonda and John Huston appear in this movie, was it Drink? Was it Drugs? Was it a Divorce?

#monsterdon

i wonder what the octopus is up to

#monsterdon

Hmm. More fat jokes
#monsterdon

Why is John Huston in this movie, did they threaten his family or something?

#monsterdon

It was the style to hit hard right at the start with some of these 70s horror / crime films

#monsterdon

Aw drat, missing #monsterdon tonight. Evening too busy to get our snark in gear.

oh I see, we're gonna have HARPSICORD QUEUED violence #monsterdon

WHO DO I GOTTA THANK AT @internetarchive for "webamp"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Also holy crap the reason why the reporter seemed so familiar is because it was played by JOHN HUSTON. How. His was some of the only actual acting so I guess that checks out.

@apLundell My theory is that the original plan for the movie involved the octopus attacking more people on the shore, but then they had to scrap that after the octopus puppet sank. It might explain why they set up all these non-oceangoing characters and then dropped them partway through.

#monsterdon #tentacles1977

#Monsterdon what do you mean 'is it okay if my calamari was mangled with puppets'
what kind of restaurant is this

It sure was weird how the monster started by attacking a child on land, but then deescalated to only attacking people already in the ocean.

What an odd way to tell a story.

#Monsterdon

“If you’re ever feeling down, experiencing imposter syndrome, or just feel like giving up because you’re not good enough, remember… you weren’t in the movie Tentacles, but Shelly Winters, John Huston, and Henry Fucking Fonda were, and that makes you way better than them.”

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ

No. The only good thing about this terrible movie is we all suffered together.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Well, crap. My @mastoscore bot did a terrible job parsing #monsterdon toots. I have lots of bugs to fix. :sadcatstarry:

Better luck next time... Sorry for the people who got kinda pointlessly tagged...

For those just coming in on this timeline, we have just (finally) finished another Sunday’s #Monsterdon. As you go farther back you’ll see lots of quite silly movie commentary. Feel free to (a) filter out the #Monsterdon hashtag, (b) mute me as long as you feel necessary, and/or (c) keep an eye on #MonsterdonAlert for the next opportunity to join in!

@ricci More reasons people are hating on Boomers now #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe @Taweret less than you'd think given that absolutely nothing happened except for an amazing hat which has special exemption to stay in my brain

#monsterdon #Tentacles

anyway thanks to @Taweret for hosting this thing I am diligently scrubbing from my brain xD

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@r343l @Atreyu @Infoseepage I'm kind of picturing what you're citing, but after a night's sleep I'm sure I'm going to forget all about that scene #monsterdon

We now return #tentacles to their rightful owners. The hentai fans. May they have happier waters than we did. #Monsterdon

I decided this was a full star below "Horror Express," so perfect for insuring that #monsterdon continues to trend

#Monsterdon did we ever even find out what nefarious experiments Trojan corp was doing? it's clear they didn't intentionally disturb the giant octo so what was their deal? and why do I care?

@gwozniak So uh this song title is amazing, because said friend's pissing is in fact brought up in the movie, and said friend also DIES

#Monsterdon

@ramsey @blogdiva Yes! He was helping his buddy survive while he cleared the fallen coral to free his buddy, while the buddy's orcas Summer and Winter were keeping the octopus away (and then killing it). Then all FOUR of them went off to have more sea adventures together! All to an amazing soundtrack. Note: Due to a household emergency I had to deal with, I only caught minutes 43-55 and then the last 20 minutes of the movie. But that's how I saw it! #Monsterdon #Tentacles

@Infoseepage I SAID BUH-BYE, SIR

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@apLundell Trojan tunnels are not about the destination, they're about the journey?! #Monsterdon

i mean, i was gonna go edit my story for the rest of the evening, but i might have to go watch a movie, coz that was certainly not it. (^_^);;; #monsterdon

@jeffron @Taweret @ColesStreetPothole @apLundell Yes, the talent in this one was not Sir-Mix-a-Lot worthy (except possibly Shelley) #monsterdon

@apLundell I'm gonna guess that's what the tunnels were for

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou @jonny I'm not sure whether to be disturbed or impressed

Or maybe curious

#Monsterdon

@Taweret that dialogue was so difficult to follow, they could have used it to hide top secret information in there and nobody would have found it #Monsterdon

The first moment in the movie where they showed the orcas, I knew how it was going to end. #Monsterdon

@jonny "Aquatic Horror Jazz"

#Monsterdon

And now a bromance. A future on dry land for our boys. And the orcas fuck off into the sea for real!

#Monsterdon #Tentacles thanks all!

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Well, that was an ending that ended this movie. The two buddies head off to another continent, unencumbered by pesky family obligations because they're dead which they find... convenient?

I have a funny feeling that as bad as the original script was, it got worse during the shooting.

@aprilfollies @yatsu (phew) #monsterdon

@Lazarou @yatsu It was a model. Not a seaworthy one , either. #Monsterdon

@floatybirb on a scale from 1 to 10 I give it Inexplicably Sleeping Tuna #Monsterdon

The other lesson we learned is never trust a director named "Assonitis" #monsterdon

ok here's the only part that mattered: the soundtrack
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFZ5kTZU6FlcY6riAFzy9ghhV2W1JruGQ

#monsterdon

@Taweret maybe her hat funded the production of the movie

#monsterdon

What instrument evokes the feeling of being underwater... I know, miltant-sounding drums #monsterdon

This movie was a mess. It flirted with being competent, but had the strength of character to stay loyal to its true love, inscrutability. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon
"hey what are you going to do on that theremin?"
"i was just gonna sloppily follow the melody like a drunk whistling along to the radio, why?"
"no, brilliant, brilliant"

This closing theme is terrible. Why is it so shrill?

#Monsterdon

Wow.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

in addition to deleting this from my plex server i will not be storing this movie in my personal long-term memory either

#monsterdon #Tentacles

What can I say about Tentacles? Well, it made us *feel* all 102 minutes, each and every one.
#Monsterdon

what did shelley winters have to do with anything?

#monsterdon

Help control the pet population, have your orcas spayed or neutered.

#monsterdon #tentacles

So ends another #Monsterdon. As always, our heartfelt thanks to @Taweret for hosting and appreciation for all the posters and lurkers. And remember #Monsterdoners: There's some funny things happening down there, Will.

(not just artistic crimes, but yeah those too) #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon So the Orcas are in fact the heroes, and on top of that, the best acting in the whole film.

This is the first #Monsterdon movie that I'm pretty sure involved actual crimes in filming

And with that, we Poggi off into the sea.

With jazz theramin accompaniment.

#monsterdon

And Tubi kicks right into Empire of the Ants #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon hahaha my captive orcas we never let go came back

seaworld propaganda?

@ryan #Monsterdon Wish I could double-boost this.

#Monsterdon What is this ending?

POG
POGGIS
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

"Well, the octopus is dead, so what say we go to Africa and kill even more animals?"

#Monsterdon

Well that was terrible thanks @Taweret and fellow monsterdonners #monsterdon #Tentacles1977

"No sea lions" Yeah. Fuck those guys. #monsterdon #Tentacles

I hope the orcas were not harmed in the filming of this film, but I fear their reputations must have suffered at the very least #monsterdon

the problem with “editing down” a film like this is where would you stop #monsterdon

I seriously can't get over this. They spent ONE MILLION DOLLARS on an octopus model that immediately sank, so they finished the movie with a couple of rubber toys and some poor aquarium pet. Fuckin' wild. #Monsterdon

Holy shit they are actually injuring the octopus aren't they, fuck all of these people #Monsterdon

Orcas fucked off into the sea, that's a wrap #monsterdon

„The octopus that is "killed" by the Orcas in the finale was a real octopus. However, it was bought from a local market and was already dead.“ phew #monsterdon

does the octopus die dot com

#monsterdon

This orca v. octopus fight is so long and boring, I never thought I'd get to say that

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
did the guys who wrote the script really have handpuppets beating up a market octopus in mind when they were coming up with this or do you think they once had dreams

NOTE: This rescue scene is taking 15 minutes

#monsterdon

MY ONE REGRET

IT THAT I HAVE

ASSONITIS

#monsterdon #tentacles

what the actual fuck is happening

#monsterdon #tentacles

I don't know about the home-made symphony here

#monsterdon

I hope the orcas fucked off into the sea, but I suspect they’re gonna come back to save the day. #Monsterdon #Tentacles

more exciting scuba scenes, goody #monsterdon

At this point, I cannot tell what the underwater scenes are supposed to be showing us. But at least the music is annoying.
#Monsterdon

You'll never get your deposit back now.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

The calves-ary arrive!

with this score, is this The Final Fight? #monsterdon

Alright alright octopus vs orcas a legit kaiju style fight right on :blobrainbow: #Monsterdon

As the old saying goes: Where there's ink, there's cephalopod #monsterdon