#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 Okay I think the weird sequence is over now as we see a bunch of wrecked boats floating on the sea.

Now Mr. Turner is wandering by the sea shore and meeting his worried wife, the artist formerly and currently known as Big Hat Lady. A larger boat that rescued some of the yacht racers pulls into port, followed by a police boat, and everyone scrambles to search for their relations; at last she finds her kid but not his friend.

the one Black guy! there's two!

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon the chaotic neutral director of #Tentacles1977 gets his or her way with this long sequence of boats being knocked over, interspersed with the Big Hat Lady saying worried things into a walkie talkie and the coast guard showing "turn back" signs to them, with occasional ominous octopus glares and screaming children.

#monsterdon I enjoy freeze-frame footage of a regatta over a rambling voiceover as much as the next guy but if a giant octopus doesn't pick up a sloop and slam it through a sail in the next thirty seconds I say we riot

#monsterdon The music isn't half bad. But it's pretty goofy so that's plus.

Is this a slideshow now?

#monsterdon

Stills

What is this

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I am having so much trouble deciding if the music for #Tentacles1977 is extremely good or extremely bad.

Help me decide with this #poll

Suspend the event?!?!

Should they not have done this BEFORE it started?

#monsterdon

microphones like shower heads

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 some stock navy footage appears of the coast guard scrambling a helicopter and a coast guard boat to try to stop the boat race.

Anyway, the boats are racing, having yet to get a memo, and Big Hat Lady regales them with a weird story going nowhere about a drunk guy getting covered with cow poop, which everyone finds hilarious. At some point we ran out of sailboat footage and just had static pictures of sailboats.

I like how the comedy act is so bad the audience laughs before the punch is delivered, if at all

#monsterdon

Poor Shelley Winters isn't drunk enough for this awful comedy act

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Cheerful, like an Italian 70’s porno flick playing at the end of a steamy alley with the Octopus playing the harpsichord and drum kit.

I'm about to break out in a rousing chorus of "The Love Boat." #Monsterdon

"How do we know this film is set in America?"

Somebody casually fires a shotgun at the sky

#monsterdon

I am beginning to think there isn't really a plot that changes and stuff

#monsterdon

Least this movie has a 65 Mustang in it. It has some redeeming qualities after all.

#monsterdon

Now time for a boat race and some riparian entertainments

#monsterdon

That was an oddly paced and confusingly shot scene involving boats, townspeople and Grief

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Mannequins down! Mannequins down!

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 after futzing around on the wrecked party goers boat, a Giant Tidal Wave appears and crushes the search party's Cooler Boat, so we get a Toy Boat scene! Fuck yeah, I love toy boats.

We also get some titanic sinking type footage of water crushing the boat.

#Monsterdon I radioed her all night long. Until she glowed! It was wonderful. You should radio a girl too. It’s sublime.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 More ocean investigation is afoot, as a search party on a cooler boat finds the wreckage of bikini girl's boat and starts looking for the missing party goers.

I do really like how this movie has lots of boats, as it proves that it has not rejected the call of its master, the sea.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 So far most of the action scenes have just been implied, some have been stock footage of an octopus acting normal inter cut with scenes of divers to imply violence, and so far only the bikini girl's sailboat getting squished had both the octopus and the victim in the same scene.

Took the octopus long enough.

#monsterdon #tentacles

you're not allowed to have nothing happen for 40 minutes and then do a fake out. fuck you, movie

#monsterdon

This guy did not get even a bronze swimming certificate.

#monsterdon

these people are emoting words in English but those are definitely not their voices.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 just when I was about to scroll away to read other people's monsterdon posts, we get some Surreal Ocean Scenery as the tiny yellow submarine encounters a forest of dead sharks who have seemingly been implanted nose first into the sea floor like lawn darts thrown into the mud.

Assuming a giant octopus got mad and threw them into the sea floor to show them who is the cooler ocean predator, but maybe not?

Dead fish do not work like that.

#monsterdon #tentacles

is the octopus supposed to be making that noise?

#monsterdon

True story: This movie inspired James Bond's Octopussy. Go go gadget mini-subs!

#monsterdon

I'm willing to assert that the octopus is NOT in the swimming pool.

#monsterdon

@LingLass She totally needs to take it off and do a hat dance on it.

#monsterdon

she asked him why he pushes so hard... winkwink nudgenudge

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon sex is punishable by tentacle!

Man this couple bugs the hell out of me

#monsterdon

leave us some mystery with the shorts dude, dear fuck...

#monsterdon

YOU ARE NOW LISTENING TO RADIO HARPSICHORD #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 Mr. Turner earns my respect by quoting the one famous dude who said that "behind every great fortune is a crime" to the curly haired glasses guy, who retorts something equivalently pithy about there being a lot of bullshit.

@RobynGoodfellow I love her energy in this movie #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 After a boring scene with Mr. Turner that I didn't bother paying attention to, we cut to the Sunshine Gilf lady, who brightens my day by wearing a gigantic hat.

This is a festive hat, that she has presumably donned in order to get her grandson and his equally tiny friend into a boat race. She explains she doesn't like racing and her her hobby is scuba driving, which is safer.

(the film made a funny, if no one got that).

"Okay. I'll do the movie, but I'll need to wear the biggest most ridiculous hat you can possibly find." Shelly Winters to the casting director. #monsterdon #Tentacles

If I was a monster octopus, I think I'd want a hat like that. #Monsterdon

Wow, she does BIG hats too. I love this woman.

#monsterdon

Her hat can be used as a tent in emergencies
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 after a long roll of footage of scuba divers putting on the sea floor set to chaotic neutral film music, we Finally see an octopus write a little bit, before eating one of the divers too quick for me to see what exactly happens.

Sure just abandon your buddy

Probably smart

#monsterdon

Trojan Tunnels? Is that some sort of condom brand?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon why was this movie even made?

@amyfou I never trust a man with a combover, they are lies #monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social Hopefully the octopus will liberate those orcas

#monsterdon #tentacles

#Monsterdon #Tentacles1977 We cut to a boat, alas not a toy boat, but a very fancy boat. Anyway, it has some divers in the water during an ocean science and/or angering eldritch water gods. The scene stops then.

We cut to a discussion of the dead baby and the dead peg leg guy where a doctor is explaining that a sea monster vacuumed them to death. Makes sense. We learn that the old guy is the Mr. Turner, a fact I missed before because I can only type so fast.

Crossing my fingers that we'll see some millionaires get crushed in their submarines. #Monsterdon

Some wild 70s camera angles in this movie, I can almost see what they were trying to do

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm not sure how good this movie will be, but it's generic so far.

wasn't the big reveal about Shelley Winters that she did not prefer guys like John Houston even though she made a career of playing sluts?

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon John Houston is basically pulling a Bela Lugosi in Plan Nine from Outer Space here…

@blogdiva this film has many surprises #monsterdon

All those college fund bonds just became vacation bonds. #Monsterdon

lol @ that man's tan shorts the same colour of his skin which made him look casually bottomless like a cartoon character

#monsterdon

OH shiiiiiit

#monsterdon

OH NOE

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@VKNask I'm already on the side of Nature on this #monsterdon

now i wanna drive to the beach in an Impala

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Yeah, that's the correct font for a 70s movie with octopi

#monsterdon #tentacles

@davesdogmaggie @RebelGeek99

hashtag #monsterdon for the movie itself and #MonsterdonAlert for updates, info and polls

tomorrow we'll have the poll to determine next sunday's movie

#Monsterdon
if i buy a rotisserie chicken and wear crocodile hand puppets while i shred it for sandwiches, does that count as a "creature effect" in the 1970s?

@ThatWeltschmerz @jchaven @_L1vY_ Pulpo Fiction. #Monsterdon

Looks like I need to update this shirt. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Thanks, @Taweret for hosting, and all for making the only proper use of such a movie - hilarious mockery!

@plaidtron3000 lol, that title alone is too much for me. Such an unlikely and disturbing scenario! #monsterdon

And why were they tunneling at all? The Trojan company was in a massive hurry to put in an undersea tunnel, but why? Where did it even go? #Monsterdon

Do we know what happened to Shelly Winter's hat? It survived right? Did it do any other movies? #monsterdon #Tentacles

Orcas ate the mean old octopus and effed off into the sea

THE END

A fitting kaiju ending at least.

Plus Epic Jorts, Child Endangerment, the Harpsichord of Death and a far out soundtrack I totally want now.

This #Monsterdon was awful, but still awfully fun too. Thanks for another one @Taweret !

True story, John Wayne was signed on to do Huston's part but was too sick. Fonda was supposed to have Huston's reporter role, but had a heart attack and so got shunted to the minor corporate CEO role. I wonder if Wayne somehow got Huston to do what would have been his role?

#monsterdon

@Taweret Man what did ANYTHING have to do with anything else in that movie. What was the tunnel thing? What about the whole "it's attracted to radio" bit? They had a reporter as their main character until like 70% of the way through the movie and then he VANISHED

why #Monsterdon

#monsterdon OK that's it all they have to do is roll the credits.

Initial thoughts? That was one of the more inexplicable movies we've watched on #Monsterdon. That was just *weird.*

And although we are sad to see it end

it has

#monsterdon

The sound and boat/scuba stuff was surprisingly good, if only the plot or dialog were comparable...

#monsterdon #tentacles

well, that was a movie. it had scenes and dialogue and credits

so

anyway, ty for joining, everyone!!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon We’ve traded the heroic Russian singing for bongo drums. This is beat poetry!

#monsterdon This is the most dramatic the music has ever been lol.

Apparently Quentin Tarantino used parts of the soundtrack from this film in his movie Death Proof (truly).

#monsterdon

Please leave room for a sequel, director! "Two ManyTentacles," needs to happen! #Monsterdon

If you can't convincingly show Orcas and a Giant Octopus fighting then maybe don't bother at all.

#monsterdon

How much d'you think the special effects guys got paid to poke some poor octopus with a pair of $5 rubber orca models from the zoo gift shop? #Monsterdon

The person controlling these orca puppets really thinks orcas do a thing that could be described as "pounce", don't they? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Free Willy was more entertaining.

Are they... attacking a dead giant pacific octopus with orca hand puppets right now? 🤨

Come On!

#Monsterdon

Who would have predicted this

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Looks we’ve got ink-sign! You’ve called Shai-hulud!

Is that the Moscow State Male Voice Choir doing the soundtrack now?

#monsterdon

This part of the movie is just Rock Lobster.

Here comes a stingray (Ooh-wah, ooh-wah)
There goes a manta ray (Ah, ah, ah)
In walked a jellyfish
There goes a dogfish
Chased by a catfish
In flew a sea robin (La)
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal
Here comes a bikini whale

#Monsterdon

left channel
right channel

They're running out of audible gimnmicks

#monsterdon

WE OFFER OURSELVES AS A SNACKRIFICE #Monsterdon

Suiting up but with scuba gear is cool, but will anything happen?

#monsterdon #tentacles

#monsterdon The killer whales are adorable.