#monsterdon ironically I'm returning to an episode of Dimension 20 where the gang is fighting a mind flayer

@Infoseepage ...HOW

#Monsterdon

thank goodness that is over. i mean..thanks @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting ​:BlobCat_SmilingOpenMouth:​

good night/day everyone, i sure hope you do not hear a short harpsichord riff in the dead of night 🐙
#monsterdon #Tentacles

@Infoseepage Yep, money laundering does that #monsterdon

This film totally violated the Law of Conservation of Stuff Happening, never before has so much film been used to record so little

#Monsterdon

This movie made FOUR TIMES what it cost to make.

#monsterdon

ok, that's about enough of that #monsterdon thanks for another fun evening @Taweret !

@Louisa when anyone asks me what i’m thinking from now on i’m saying Safari #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon so uh ending scene and like we don't even see the reporter guy again to make a clever comment on dangers of humans messing shit up?? disappoint.

@jeffron @apLundell @Taweret We brought it on ourselves. (Except me, by forgetting to vote) #monsterdon

#monsterdon I can't believe this. That octopus was having his neighborhood gentrified and they fucked him up like that

booo, swim back to shore holding the same broken board you landlubber fancy lads #monsterdon

Well I gotta say it was worth it just for the outro - sappy, yacht-rocky love song PLAYED ON A THERAMIN #Monsterdon #tentacles

The plot of Tentacles is like El Capitan, there's *no handholds* it's impossible to get any sort of grip on it #Monsterdon

What an absolute fever dream. Delightful. Lovely to watch with y'all, #Monsterdon!

After next weekend I go back on night shifts and I won't be able to watch along again until April. Womp womp. Looking forward to another cinematic gem though 😂

#Monsterdon Humans decide to go on safari, because their experience of large animals has gone SO well. Orcas decide to tag along, probably to see the comedy gold that will result.

And they ALL fuck off into the sea.

Me previous weeks: hell yeah 90 minute movie

Me this week: how does this 100 minute movie feel 300 minutes long holy christ

#monsterdon

@Taweret She was just a scheme to sell Tentacles merchandise (hats)

#Monsterdon

@Taweret She learned the valuable lesson that having two sons was really just redundant #monsterdon

No babies were harmed during the making of this film. Was an octopus harmed... I'll never tell 😉 #monsterdon

all I remember is shelly winters wearing a really bitchin' hat

#monsterdon #Tentacles

This wasn't the worst movie we have seen... but it feels like the most pointless. It was only barely a movie. Scenes and characters but the plot was... ???
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon so the orcas beat up the giant octopus while one dude slowly rescues the other one who somehow isn't dead despite needing to be passed a breather at one point several minutes after being trapped. music was fun though.

I did want the movie to wrap up with Shelley Winters and a hat, tbh. #monsterdon

The moral is that it turns out having your "talent" eff off into the sea for an hour and three quarters running time does not in fact heal all wounds #monsterdon

Longest orca octopus fight ever #Monsterdon #Tentacles

this movie sure has some ADR in it #monsterdon

#monsterdon Hey Siri, play something that sounds like Chuck Mangione on a slide whistle.

@trixter @bunnyhero that plot line was so 30 minutes ago. #Monsterdon

Animals raised in captivity prefer to stay near the humans that raised them? That sounds normal, why are the humans so shocked? #Monsterdon

[octopus growls] --Tentacles #monsterdon #SubtitleHallOfFame

"Mr Fonda, we need you to read 10 lines, and we'll give you feature billing."
"OK, but only one take for each line."
"Deal."

#monsterdon #tentacles

More appropriated Native American drumming…HOLY CHRIST THATS A NICE KETCH #Monsterdon

@phoutz Sure. But what about the vertebrates who were harmed WATCHING it!? #monsterdon

@jonny and also all octopi (large or small) have a sense of foresight

#monsterdon

This is a very dumb ending, but at least it's also gay. (The orcas are both ladies, right? Right?) #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon “I’ll bite your legs off!”
“It’s only a flesh wound!”

annnnd credits.

this brings this #monsterdon thread to a close, with a movie that started with an interesting premise, but fell off a cliff somewhere around execution.

I just wish we saw more rubber monster, less shadowboxing.

@cargot_robbie THIS makes sense. Much more than the movie did.
#Monsterdon

And Summer and Winter fucked off into the ocean. It's Miller Time. That was such an amazingly mockable suck fest. Just a ridiculous excuse for a movie from start to finish. I loved it. Thanks again to @Taweret for hosting. Who knows what puppets will be tearing apart next week. #monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon feels like the Mads got to pick this one

really making sure the orca puppet budget was well-spent there

#monsterdon #Tentacles

So the two survivors planned to fuck off OUT of the sea, according to the dialog.

#monsterdon #tentacles

@blogdiva that would be a better movie than the one we just watched so i'm going with it

#monsterdon #Tentacles

I had a Shamu plushie when I was a kid that kind of looked like that #monsterdon

I wonder what Jon Huston and Shelly Winters are up to?

#monsterdon #tentacles1977

They just never got back around to the Trojan/tunnel story.

And it turned into a kaiju movie.

And everybody fucked off into the sea.

Thanks everybody!

#monsterdon #tentacles

@bunnyhero Gandalf Kolchak just disappearing without a trace.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Trying to figure out the plot of that movie may have genuinely, legitimately given me brain damage. #Monsterdon

Honestly, this score is amazing: it manages to go from mellow jazz to souza-at-a-regatta to soviet submarine chorus to beyond, and still somehow manages to be annoyingly repetitive! #monsterdon

I still don't understand why the orcas give a crap about these guys or the octopus

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva They weren’t showing it very well, the other diver kept shoving his mouthpiece and tube into a hole in the rocks to give him air. #Monsterdon

Why is he hooked up to the rigging with a carabiner?

#monsterdon

Oh wow, and now it's over.

Thanks everybody! That was ... something.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

@Taweret watching it with you all was an enjoyment, I couldn't have done it alone
#monsterdon

"Well Mike, I been thinkin about Africa. I been thinkin about goin on safari."

Sailing off into the sunset, who cares about your dead wives, just guys being dudes

#Monsterdon

The orcas are here to collect and they just laugh. This is the origin story for the pod that sinks yachts #Monsterdon

Credits roll and WOW HOLY FREE-RANGE 100% ORGANIC FUCK that wasn't very good now, was it?

#Monsterdon

TIL orca growl like panthers when they fight #monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #Tentacles, from 1977, should have been chock full of sucker madness. Instead we got:
- Harpsichord playing by the giant octopus! (not confirmed, but has to be true, right?)
- Lots of scuba action. A lot more scuba than octopus, for sure.
- Vertical fish?
- Toy boat!
- Freeze frames!
- Aquaman?
- More hats than octopus.
- Orca puppets!

what happened to reporter guy? #monsterdon

You better give them more fish, man, otherwise you'll be next.

#monsterdon

@combatwombat thanks for confirming that. I tried googling for it but couldn't find anything.

#Monsterdon

Orcas: we wish to return to captivity. #Monsterdon

C'thulhu watched this, and decided it was too otherworldly-bad for him, and went back to sleep.

Thanks, Tentacles! Saving the universe for a few thousand more years. #monsterdon #tentacles

normally i leave these things on my plex server

this is not one of those times

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@jeffron @Taweret @apLundell With my butt. #Monsterdon

I'm not sure the whales are simply back to eat YOU, Doctor. #monsterdon

This dialogue is just 🤯. #Monsterdon

It's Miller Time! #Monsterdon

@Taweret @apLundell @CactuarJoe 100% of YouTube ad revenue from this movie goes to polishing Henry Fonda’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame #Monsterdon

Woah that context switch again the editors really didn't give a sh!t did they #Monsterdon

How long do orcas live? Are these the orcas who ended up tipping over yachts in the Mediterranean? That would be pretty bad ass.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

@JoeWynne this explains a lot. Soundtrack is like a grab bag of music Stelvio Cipriani sourced from the bottom of a drawer #Monsterdon

"...we killed your octopus. That means we're ready for third base, Will."

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Wait. They just switched the scene to sometime in the future? Oh, dialogue says the octopus is "reported dead".
But we get some orca frolicking shots to more weird music.
#Monsterdon

You've just killed a giant octopus with your pet Orcas. What are you going to do now? Disneyland!

#monsterdon

Ooo. The guy recovering from the bends has to do an emergency ascent from the bottom.

Is that drama? Or just two disconnected ideas in a movie with a zillion boring plot points?

#Monsterdon

ok at least now there's an orca battle, sheesh #monsterdon

I'd say these two sailors should get a room, but they've already got a whole boat.
#Monsterdon

No Vertebrates Were Harmed in the Filming of This Movie #Monsterdon #tentacles

Sailboat racing along, Orcas standing still in calm water. Sure, why not
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon makes my mind replay the Godzilla Main Theme from the 1954 film. #Gojira #Godzilla

Animatronic whale, right? #monsterdon

Avalanche! #Monsterdon

This movie could have used more sailing
#monsterdon

Yeah, I've had better days too, movie

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

what a kind of an end was this? what happened to the newspaper dude?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon undersea men in suits fight‼️

Not watching #Monsterdon this week and frantically dodging #Monsterdon posts and managing to fav one good non- #Monsterdon post #lifegoals #nailedit #Monsterdon #imnotjustcomplainingiknowicouldmuteit

@combatwombat That which is dead may never die #monsterdon

#monsterdon whoops, laundry timer, hope I don't miss anything

...and now it's a sack of potatoes! #monsterdon

Yet another thing I was completely unprepared for: a mens chorus in the soundtrack. #monsterdon

#monsterdon They should honestly let the killer whales battle the Octopus.

This whole movie was fucking around at sea.
We can never fuck off into it, we are cursed to already be there.
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

and now, an old spice commercial

#monsterdon #Tentacles

"...what do octopus sound like?"
"No idea, but I got some cat growl sounds."
"Okay, use that."

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

And thus the plot to Star Trek IV was written.

#monsterdon

But will he be able to play the harpsichord again? #monsterdon #Tentacles