I can only say I need more harpsichord-playing octopus in my life

Thanks for hosting @Taweret and thanks for the brilliant commentary everyone 😀 Time for my brain to follow in what should have been those orcas' footsteps

#Monsterdon

@apLundell #Monsterdon Something beak snap bones something.

@ramsey @Taweret I'm always a big octopodes fan but I'm told I'm wrong #monsterdon

Oh. And Fonda's tunnel. How'd his tunnel do? #monsterdon #Tentacles

Well, that was definitely something, and it left so many questions unanswered, like: what is the plural of octopus? Octopi? Octopuses? Octopodes?

Thanks, @Taweret and everyone else, for another great #Monsterdon!

@Elleaster

#Monsterdon

Those are different buddies (I think) and those guys pre-enacted the Titanic sub disaster.

@ColesStreetPothole @jeffron @apLundell @Taweret WHEN WE FIGHT WE WIN #monsterdon

@diazona @Infoseepage when a movie costs a dollar twenty to make...

#monsterdon #Tentacles

@Infoseepage You may be right #monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye

🐙 What catharsis now it's over. Maybe we can agree on that.

Many thanks to
@Taweret who does so much to make this happen. Despite what this is.
and @cheribaker for the Bingo card (A very Silly Death 😄)
and
@randy_s this week, who spent hours developing the cocktail, which is very good. Really! He cares - like the producers did not.
and
the Real Time Film Analysis Squad...The film did not make suckers of you.

I can't wait until next week!

My brain was too anaesthetized to notice whether two female named characters spoke to one another, but if they did it certainly made no difference to anything #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Spouse is now riffing on the probable trash-talking between the orcas and the octopus.

@liferstate That's what I'm prete... nuthin! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon ironically I'm returning to an episode of Dimension 20 where the gang is fighting a mind flayer

@Infoseepage ...HOW

#Monsterdon

thank goodness that is over. i mean..thanks @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting ​:BlobCat_SmilingOpenMouth:​

good night/day everyone, i sure hope you do not hear a short harpsichord riff in the dead of night 🐙
#monsterdon #Tentacles

@Infoseepage Yep, money laundering does that #monsterdon

This film totally violated the Law of Conservation of Stuff Happening, never before has so much film been used to record so little

#Monsterdon

This movie made FOUR TIMES what it cost to make.

#monsterdon

ok, that's about enough of that #monsterdon thanks for another fun evening @Taweret !

@Louisa when anyone asks me what i’m thinking from now on i’m saying Safari #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon so uh ending scene and like we don't even see the reporter guy again to make a clever comment on dangers of humans messing shit up?? disappoint.

@jeffron @apLundell @Taweret We brought it on ourselves. (Except me, by forgetting to vote) #monsterdon

#monsterdon I can't believe this. That octopus was having his neighborhood gentrified and they fucked him up like that

booo, swim back to shore holding the same broken board you landlubber fancy lads #monsterdon

The plot of Tentacles is like El Capitan, there's *no handholds* it's impossible to get any sort of grip on it #Monsterdon

Well I gotta say it was worth it just for the outro - sappy, yacht-rocky love song PLAYED ON A THERAMIN #Monsterdon #tentacles

@floatybirb on a scale from 1 to 10 I give it Inexplicably Sleeping Tuna #Monsterdon

What an absolute fever dream. Delightful. Lovely to watch with y'all, #Monsterdon!

After next weekend I go back on night shifts and I won't be able to watch along again until April. Womp womp. Looking forward to another cinematic gem though 😂

Orcas ate the mean old octopus and effed off into the sea

THE END

A fitting kaiju ending at least.

Plus Epic Jorts, Child Endangerment, the Harpsichord of Death and a far out soundtrack I totally want now.

This #Monsterdon was awful, but still awfully fun too. Thanks for another one @Taweret !

#Monsterdon Humans decide to go on safari, because their experience of large animals has gone SO well. Orcas decide to tag along, probably to see the comedy gold that will result.

And they ALL fuck off into the sea.

@Taweret She was just a scheme to sell Tentacles merchandise (hats)

#Monsterdon

Me previous weeks: hell yeah 90 minute movie

Me this week: how does this 100 minute movie feel 300 minutes long holy christ

#monsterdon

@Taweret She learned the valuable lesson that having two sons was really just redundant #monsterdon

No babies were harmed during the making of this film. Was an octopus harmed... I'll never tell 😉 #monsterdon

all I remember is shelly winters wearing a really bitchin' hat

#monsterdon #Tentacles

This wasn't the worst movie we have seen... but it feels like the most pointless. It was only barely a movie. Scenes and characters but the plot was... ???
#Monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon so the orcas beat up the giant octopus while one dude slowly rescues the other one who somehow isn't dead despite needing to be passed a breather at one point several minutes after being trapped. music was fun though.

I did want the movie to wrap up with Shelley Winters and a hat, tbh. #monsterdon

The moral is that it turns out having your "talent" eff off into the sea for an hour and three quarters running time does not in fact heal all wounds #monsterdon

Longest orca octopus fight ever #Monsterdon #Tentacles

Wow.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

this movie sure has some ADR in it #monsterdon

#monsterdon Hey Siri, play something that sounds like Chuck Mangione on a slide whistle.

@trixter @bunnyhero that plot line was so 30 minutes ago. #Monsterdon

Animals raised in captivity prefer to stay near the humans that raised them? That sounds normal, why are the humans so shocked? #Monsterdon

[octopus growls] --Tentacles #monsterdon #SubtitleHallOfFame

"Mr Fonda, we need you to read 10 lines, and we'll give you feature billing."
"OK, but only one take for each line."
"Deal."

#monsterdon #tentacles

More appropriated Native American drumming…HOLY CHRIST THATS A NICE KETCH #Monsterdon

@jonny and also all octopi (large or small) have a sense of foresight

#monsterdon

@phoutz Sure. But what about the vertebrates who were harmed WATCHING it!? #monsterdon

This is a very dumb ending, but at least it's also gay. (The orcas are both ladies, right? Right?) #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon “I’ll bite your legs off!”
“It’s only a flesh wound!”

#monsterdon And that's a wreck! The orcas fuck off into the sea, the soundtrack orchestra noodles on to their hearts content, the story... well I guess we ran out of that.

Thank you, @Taweret@octodon.social ! That one was a lot of fun to mock. Insufficient octopus victory, but I guess we can't have everything. And thank you @cheribaker for the bingo card!

TENTACLES (1977), ONE OF THE FILMS OF ALL TIME

annnnd credits.

this brings this #monsterdon thread to a close, with a movie that started with an interesting premise, but fell off a cliff somewhere around execution.

I just wish we saw more rubber monster, less shadowboxing.

@cargot_robbie THIS makes sense. Much more than the movie did.
#Monsterdon

And Summer and Winter fucked off into the ocean. It's Miller Time. That was such an amazingly mockable suck fest. Just a ridiculous excuse for a movie from start to finish. I loved it. Thanks again to @Taweret for hosting. Who knows what puppets will be tearing apart next week. #monsterdon #Tentacles

#Monsterdon feels like the Mads got to pick this one

really making sure the orca puppet budget was well-spent there

#monsterdon #Tentacles

So ends another #Monsterdon. As always, our heartfelt thanks to @Taweret for hosting and appreciation for all the posters and lurkers. And remember #Monsterdoners: There's some funny things happening down there, Will.

So the two survivors planned to fuck off OUT of the sea, according to the dialog.

#monsterdon #tentacles

that helvetica grotesque

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

I think we can all agree that the real monster was the dialogue. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva that would be a better movie than the one we just watched so i'm going with it

#monsterdon #Tentacles

I had a Shamu plushie when I was a kid that kind of looked like that #monsterdon

I wonder what Jon Huston and Shelly Winters are up to?

#monsterdon #tentacles1977

They just never got back around to the Trojan/tunnel story.

And it turned into a kaiju movie.

And everybody fucked off into the sea.

Thanks everybody!

#monsterdon #tentacles

@bunnyhero Gandalf Kolchak just disappearing without a trace.

#monsterdon #tentacles

Honestly, this score is amazing: it manages to go from mellow jazz to souza-at-a-regatta to soviet submarine chorus to beyond, and still somehow manages to be annoyingly repetitive! #monsterdon

Trying to figure out the plot of that movie may have genuinely, legitimately given me brain damage. #Monsterdon

I still don't understand why the orcas give a crap about these guys or the octopus

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva They weren’t showing it very well, the other diver kept shoving his mouthpiece and tube into a hole in the rocks to give him air. #Monsterdon

Why is he hooked up to the rigging with a carabiner?

#monsterdon

Oh wow, and now it's over.

Thanks everybody! That was ... something.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

@Taweret watching it with you all was an enjoyment, I couldn't have done it alone
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I am completely confused how to rate #Tentacles1977.

On the one hand, it was mostly boring, but on the other hand, it was super weird. I want to give it 5/5 octopies for having toy boats, a surprise orca thruple, a whale based resolution, a giant hat, and heeding the call of the sea. But I guess instead I'll give it only 3/5 octopies because it was kind of bad, but not so bad that the weirdness didn't kind of redeem it?

"Well Mike, I been thinkin about Africa. I been thinkin about goin on safari."

Sailing off into the sunset, who cares about your dead wives, just guys being dudes

#Monsterdon

The orcas are here to collect and they just laugh. This is the origin story for the pod that sinks yachts #Monsterdon

Credits roll and WOW HOLY FREE-RANGE 100% ORGANIC FUCK that wasn't very good now, was it?

#Monsterdon

TIL orca growl like panthers when they fight #monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #Tentacles, from 1977, should have been chock full of sucker madness. Instead we got:
- Harpsichord playing by the giant octopus! (not confirmed, but has to be true, right?)
- Lots of scuba action. A lot more scuba than octopus, for sure.
- Vertical fish?
- Toy boat!
- Freeze frames!
- Aquaman?
- More hats than octopus.
- Orca puppets!

what happened to reporter guy? #monsterdon

You better give them more fish, man, otherwise you'll be next.

#monsterdon

@combatwombat thanks for confirming that. I tried googling for it but couldn't find anything.

#Monsterdon

Orcas: we wish to return to captivity. #Monsterdon

normally i leave these things on my plex server

this is not one of those times

#monsterdon #Tentacles

C'thulhu watched this, and decided it was too otherworldly-bad for him, and went back to sleep.

Thanks, Tentacles! Saving the universe for a few thousand more years. #monsterdon #tentacles

@jeffron @Taweret @apLundell With my butt. #Monsterdon

I'm not sure the whales are simply back to eat YOU, Doctor. #monsterdon

This dialogue is just 🤯. #Monsterdon

It's Miller Time! #Monsterdon

@Taweret @apLundell @CactuarJoe 100% of YouTube ad revenue from this movie goes to polishing Henry Fonda’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame #Monsterdon

Woah that context switch again the editors really didn't give a sh!t did they #Monsterdon

How long do orcas live? Are these the orcas who ended up tipping over yachts in the Mediterranean? That would be pretty bad ass.

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

@JoeWynne this explains a lot. Soundtrack is like a grab bag of music Stelvio Cipriani sourced from the bottom of a drawer #Monsterdon

"...we killed your octopus. That means we're ready for third base, Will."

#Monsterdon #Tentacles

Wait. They just switched the scene to sometime in the future? Oh, dialogue says the octopus is "reported dead".
But we get some orca frolicking shots to more weird music.
#Monsterdon

You've just killed a giant octopus with your pet Orcas. What are you going to do now? Disneyland!

#monsterdon

Ooo. The guy recovering from the bends has to do an emergency ascent from the bottom.

Is that drama? Or just two disconnected ideas in a movie with a zillion boring plot points?

#Monsterdon

ok at least now there's an orca battle, sheesh #monsterdon