They mean-girl-texted him to death! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

I'll take rejected Hallmark cards for $1000....#monsterdon

@klu9 @amyfou Ha! I literally posted that very same picture about 5 min ago, but forgot to tag it with #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe What else would he be doing? Work? *statler/waldorf laugh* #monsterdon

ooff, hate mail from the whole town now....

#Monsterdon

...and CLOWN!!!

#monsterdon

"Think of the children" - a classic way to attack any minority.

#Monsterdon

We must save money and turn off the porch light bulb

#monsterdon

This is a different role for Cushing. #monsterdon

They're taking away Mr Grimsdyke's dogs.

Anything bad happens to the dogs and I'm going to be a VERY grim dyke. #Monsterdon

Summon a demon on them Moff Tarkin....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

Young Fluffy Hair has framed the doggos! He must dieeeeeee

The pettiness of suburbia...

#Monsterdon

@Mikal @apLundell no, 1972 is too late for that #monsterdon

Real estate business... Is this going to turn into a vampire film?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

the young guy reminds me of Pete Hegseth #monsterdon

I did get 'young Tory' vibes from that young man

#Monsterdon

So he's the ghost of christmas future? #monsterdon

Nobody tell the Brits about Insane Clown Posse because they will NOT take it well.
#Monsterdon

This 2nd story reminds me of another 70's horror film, also set in the UK where the daughter is like "DUDDY, DUDDY" over and over again and then psychic-wishes him dead and then he car crashes in a similar manner.

Anyway if you know which one that is let's not ever watch it for #monsterdon because even watching it at 1.5x speed it was hardly bearable.

Easy there John Mayer we'll get to you

#Monsterdon

Suddenly he looks Eddie Deezen. #monsterdon

' the furniture, I don't understand....'

that's the 70s for you

#Monsterdon

That crash footage was amazing. Also love they didn't bother building much fence. #Monsterdon

How many people screaming will it take for you to look in a mirror? #monsterdon

I bet he looks like an American now.

#monsterdon

the crypt has summoned your asses here tonight to atone fro your lazy ass homicides by teaching you the appropriate Defender Mindset drills that will allow you to simulate the investigative technioques of law enforcement,. this 4 part seminar will #monsterdon

He survived going over a cliff in a 1970s British automobile? It is hard for me to suspend my disbelief on this one #Monsterdon

We're in the second vignette which I guess is about the guy having an affair while pretending to be on a business trip. Anyway, his affair girl ends up driving and then somehow a truck is wheeling toward them and then they drive off the street and their car starts burning.

#monsterdon

You see a car coming. Possible things to do:

...

...

\9999999999999999999. Grab the wheel and run the car off the road.

#Monsterdon

Toontses! Nooooo!

#Monsterdon

I got this gift box from my sister. I get other brands of summer sausage at the store and it's good. I like it. But it's not as good as Hickory Farms. I don't know what it is, but there's a difference. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe kind of on brand for us, isn't it?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@Lazarou *opens the 1970s* My god, it's all key parties and Nixon masks D: #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Heartwarming: the worst people you know get what's coming to them.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

He's gonna leave to be with his go-go-dancer girlfriend, right?

#monsterdon

While this was happening, the daughter woke up, let the homicidal Santa inside, thinking he was the real, not-homicidal Santa. He attacks her and starts to strangle her.

#monsterdon

Carol IS the evil santa!

#Monsterdon

Only 15 minutes into the film, and I’ve got a BINGO!

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@blogdiva #monsterdon

I think this was her "plan" for the evening?

"210 pounds" in American is 15 stone in English, in case anyone was wondering

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe holiday budget cuts #monsterdon

ROTARY PHONE!

#MOnsterdon

She oughta make a deal with Bad Santa. To help with the body.

#monsterdon

I was late because of the torte, and the cat, and the scorp.
#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

#monsterdon This is violently 1972.

yeah, she better lock the door. Or else a murderer might get in.

#monsterdon

blood just doesn't look like that though, is that the Censors demanding that?

#Monsterdon

He didn't even have the decency to bleed it all on the paper. That carpet is gonna be a bitch to clean.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Plot twist - fake fez guy is stabbed to death by his wife (I think) who is also wearing a fake fez. A fake fez of murder. She steals his keys and opens a vault, retrieving some kind of property document. Then she puts her kid to bed and smokes a cigarette.

#monsterdon

Chekovs brooch again, I hope it's cursed!

#Monsterdon

If Carol knew what mummy did to daddy she’d chill the fuck out.

#Monsterdon

Bet she murdered him bc he wanted her to quit smoking.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972
She did have plans.

Notice how the mother is able to manage a murder and the kid without much difficulty.

#Monsterdon

I am questioning the wisdom of bludgeoning someone over deep pile white carpet though. #Monsterdon

Tales From the Columbo. #monsterdon

Had to rewind to look at that GODAWFUL FIREPLACE.
It’s just a box?? With no trapdoor? A box that’s WHITE? So all the soot is visible from SPACE??
#Monsterdon

Our tourists wander around. The Lady Tourist drops a brooch then a guy picks it up for her. Then we get lost and a door opens on its own, then we wander into a weird chamber with a giant Wall Skull at the front and a Monk sitting in front of the Wall Skull like a dark lord on his throne.

The Monk announces their trapped-ness, then we relocate to Christmas, where a man in a plastic fez is setting presents out for his wife while drinking and smoking and also reading the paper.

#monsterdon

I love how the typical 70s home had a minibar in the corner...

#Monsterdon

"Take those off, dad."

"No, I shan't, it's Christmas."

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🪦 TRIVIA FROM THE CRYPT 💀

During production, Peter Cushing was suffering from depression, as his wife had recently died.

He chose this part, though, because he thought he could do it justice. His character is a widower who is trying to communicate with his dead wife. Note that the character's wife is called "Helen" - the name of Cushing's real wife.

Fans feel that this is one of his greatest performances.

#TalesFromTheCrypt

who will be the first gentleman to have their spirit tossed around and spat inside and rolled up like a tube of toothpaste #monsterdon

PLANS. #Monsterdon

All the tourists seem rather well-dressed to me, especially for walking through a dungeon. Did everyone in Britain in the 70s don a suit to walk through a catacomb?

#monsterdon

@amyfou

Should have at least sprung for the audio guide

#Monsterdon

"Don't wander off and get lost..."

...and that's exactly what they do

#Monsterdon

Deadend, deadend... deadend deadend deadend deaaddeaeeeeeeeendenened. #monsterdon

This #monsterdon starts with a tour of some Europe Architecture including catacombs, a graveyard and other Diablo-themed locations. As is customary, this architecture tour is accompanied by Excessive Organ Music.

Then we go to a catacomb where a guy in a hat is giving a tour and explaining that the catacombs are where monks would go pray during Henry VII's reign and also stay close to him because the catacombs are dangerous.

Chekovs brooch...

#Monsterdon

"These catacombs contain dangerous levels of Englishness"

#Monsterdon

Yay, tourism

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

If no one hollers "Come back, Shane!" In this movie, I will be very disappointed.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

Already the most cromulent soundtrack for a #Monsterdon movie to date

I could go for some curly fries. #monsterdon

T H E C A T A C O M B S

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh I've played this Skyrim adventure a million times, all the drauger will be rushing out of th...

[looks offstage]

oh

nevermind

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Ominous organ music and drippy title font, a good start

#Monsterdon

We heard you like stories, so we put stories in your story

#Monsterdon

Art direction by Tony Curtis? THE ACTOR?! WHY ARE W

[looks offstage]

...oh

nevermind

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Ah this takes me Bach

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Shane! Shane! Shane! #monsterdon

I feel like this cemetery is far too green to be appropriately creepy

#monsterdon

Look, this movie has Bach organ music at the beginning so it automatically gets 5* from me

#Monsterdon

An Amicus production... okay but I'm not promising to be friends with it. #monsterdon

blood font in the title screen! #monsterdon

Nice organ, buddy

#Monsterdon

knuckle tats idea:

MNST RDON

love you all <3 <3 #MonsterdonSavesChristmas #Monsterdon

Wait, why didn't they send Kyoko-chan to civilization where she could get REAL care?!?

#monsterdon #WrongCrypt

@klu9 #monsterdon #WrongCrypt

idk, doubt the guy's gonna resort to cannibalism just walking along the beach...

I didn't even know Japan had deserts....

#monsterdon #WrongCrypt

it's the Rosa de Guadalupe

#ifyky #monsterdon #WrongCrypt

Shiraki-sensei looks like Temu Sonny Chiba

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Special Thank You 🦖🎞️

✨ @steggy and @paco

The staggering success of
#MonsterdonSavesChristmas was founded significantly on your matching donations. Thank you very much!

@Zerofactorial Not all blind people are missing the eye mechanism that synchronizes their circadian body clock. It might happen if the entire eyeball is destroyed or removed, but partial retinal damage or optic nerve damage might still leave the synchronize-on-blue-light functions intact.

Could definitely save on light bulbs, though. It's a wonder there were any working bulbs available for the death maze.#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@MatthewTitus88 outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend, inside a dog it's too dark to read! #monsterdon

Evil of Dracula's got some good posters
#Monsterdon #EvilofDracula

Ma`am. You're bleeding. And hot. Are you okay?
#Monsterdon #EvilofDracula

Eagerly awaiting the final tally for #MonsterdonSavesChristmas.

#Monsterdon

@amyfou @Taweret @cherizilla @JoeWynne And neither canine was depicted as dying, which is a plus #monsterdon