I'm betting against Brit Murray's eyes

#Monsterdon

Was this from the Tatcher era? It feels a very anti-Tatcher movie #monsterdon

This is EXACTLY what Tory/Labour Austerity is all about, cunts like these...

#Monsterdon

Glad to see this movie understands what makes a good Christmas movie (rich people are terrible)
#monsterdon

I didn't know there were Private Equity Owned long term care facilities in the 1970s #Monsterdon

turning off the heat is so cruel, this reminds of the Grimsdyke (Peter Cushing) story #Monsterdon

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

ya'll don't worry.

headcanon, I go save that dog.

"I have considerable experience dealing with men from my time in the army"
😉
#monsterdon

This canteen is mysteriously without chatter...

#Monsterdon

Lampshades are at 50%

#Monsterdon

"I have considerable experience in dealing with men from my time in the army"

😜

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

BINGO :V
#monsterdon

Yeah that one didn't make logical sense. #Monsterdon

Is this bad-things-happen-to-people-who-deserve-it number 4 or 5? I've lost count and 70s british people are all pretty interchangeable. #monsterdon

#monsterdon this guy with the stolen Chinese relic looks like Robert Maxwell, blackmailer extraordinaire and Ghislaine’s father.

"Now, forever"

Well, alright then.

#Monsterdon

so now she has a king's ransom and a dead body inexplicably in her living room. good for her.

#monsterdon

Think I'd prefer those dancing Ghanaian Undertakers...

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe This lady is an asshole. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

this woman needs to read more #Monsterdon

#monsterdon is the crypt keeper the guy that played The Penguin in Batman, the tv show?

Oh don't pretend you miss Ralph that much, it's his money you married.

#Monsterdon

They're not... even going to establish how he died?

Like the motorcycle ran his car off the road?

EDIT: I guess looking at the skull mask made him have a heart attack because it was so scary that this movie has a PG rating? 😁

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

You realized cuz he's wearing a Punisher mask?

#Monsterdon

(I feel like @jalefkowit would instantly recognize this red car from nothing more than the enormous expanse of curved glass making up the entire rear quarter of the cab)

Also: hoo boy, this pursuit music

#monsterdon

Is that red car an Aston Martin?

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe that's how the rich do it, baybee #monsterdon

this guy's house would definitely fit right in with zillogonewild

#monsterdon

Wait, why is it written in English and not Chinese?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"My beautiful things!"

Capitalism

#Monsterdon

so this is just an anthology mashup of some Tales from the Crypts
#monsterdon

#monsterdon lol still beating heart!!!!

I was always scared of this movie cover at the video store as a kid, I didn't know it operated on haunted house rules

1972 Pantone color of the year again #Monsterdon

darn I was hoping he would scream like a girl scout
#monsterdon

Poor bastard got peek-a-boo'd to death. #Monsterdon

THE FIST OF A VENGEFUL GRIMSDYKE SHOVES THOUGH DRY EARTH AND CLAWS RESTLESSLY TOWARDS THE INFINITELY DARK SKY

#monsterdon

YOU BETTER SHOW THEM TOGETHER.
YOU BETTER MAKE THOSE ROCKS S N U G G L E.

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

There better be some horrific payback coming....

#Monsterdon

Man I forgot he killed himself. This is heartbreaking, I'm ready for revenge #Monsterdon

They mean-girl-texted him to death! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

I'll take rejected Hallmark cards for $1000....#monsterdon

@klu9 @amyfou Ha! I literally posted that very same picture about 5 min ago, but forgot to tag it with #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe What else would he be doing? Work? *statler/waldorf laugh* #monsterdon

ooff, hate mail from the whole town now....

#Monsterdon

...and CLOWN!!!

#monsterdon

"Think of the children" - a classic way to attack any minority.

#Monsterdon

We must save money and turn off the porch light bulb

#monsterdon

This is a different role for Cushing. #monsterdon

They're taking away Mr Grimsdyke's dogs.

Anything bad happens to the dogs and I'm going to be a VERY grim dyke. #Monsterdon

Summon a demon on them Moff Tarkin....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

Young Fluffy Hair has framed the doggos! He must dieeeeeee

The pettiness of suburbia...

#Monsterdon

@Mikal @apLundell no, 1972 is too late for that #monsterdon

Real estate business... Is this going to turn into a vampire film?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

the young guy reminds me of Pete Hegseth #monsterdon

I did get 'young Tory' vibes from that young man

#Monsterdon

So he's the ghost of christmas future? #monsterdon

Nobody tell the Brits about Insane Clown Posse because they will NOT take it well.
#Monsterdon

This 2nd story reminds me of another 70's horror film, also set in the UK where the daughter is like "DUDDY, DUDDY" over and over again and then psychic-wishes him dead and then he car crashes in a similar manner.

Anyway if you know which one that is let's not ever watch it for #monsterdon because even watching it at 1.5x speed it was hardly bearable.

Suddenly he looks Eddie Deezen. #monsterdon

' the furniture, I don't understand....'

that's the 70s for you

#Monsterdon

That crash footage was amazing. Also love they didn't bother building much fence. #Monsterdon

How many people screaming will it take for you to look in a mirror? #monsterdon

I bet he looks like an American now.

#monsterdon

the crypt has summoned your asses here tonight to atone fro your lazy ass homicides by teaching you the appropriate Defender Mindset drills that will allow you to simulate the investigative technioques of law enforcement,. this 4 part seminar will #monsterdon

He survived going over a cliff in a 1970s British automobile? It is hard for me to suspend my disbelief on this one #Monsterdon

We're in the second vignette which I guess is about the guy having an affair while pretending to be on a business trip. Anyway, his affair girl ends up driving and then somehow a truck is wheeling toward them and then they drive off the street and their car starts burning.

#monsterdon

You see a car coming. Possible things to do:

...

...

\9999999999999999999. Grab the wheel and run the car off the road.

#Monsterdon

Toontses! Nooooo!

#Monsterdon

I got this gift box from my sister. I get other brands of summer sausage at the store and it's good. I like it. But it's not as good as Hickory Farms. I don't know what it is, but there's a difference. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe kind of on brand for us, isn't it?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@Lazarou *opens the 1970s* My god, it's all key parties and Nixon masks D: #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Heartwarming: the worst people you know get what's coming to them.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

While this was happening, the daughter woke up, let the homicidal Santa inside, thinking he was the real, not-homicidal Santa. He attacks her and starts to strangle her.

#monsterdon

Carol IS the evil santa!

#Monsterdon

Only 15 minutes into the film, and I’ve got a BINGO!

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@blogdiva #monsterdon

I think this was her "plan" for the evening?

"210 pounds" in American is 15 stone in English, in case anyone was wondering

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe holiday budget cuts #monsterdon

ROTARY PHONE!

#MOnsterdon

She oughta make a deal with Bad Santa. To help with the body.

#monsterdon

I was late because of the torte, and the cat, and the scorp.
#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

#monsterdon This is violently 1972.

yeah, she better lock the door. Or else a murderer might get in.

#monsterdon

blood just doesn't look like that though, is that the Censors demanding that?

#Monsterdon

He didn't even have the decency to bleed it all on the paper. That carpet is gonna be a bitch to clean.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Plot twist - fake fez guy is stabbed to death by his wife (I think) who is also wearing a fake fez. A fake fez of murder. She steals his keys and opens a vault, retrieving some kind of property document. Then she puts her kid to bed and smokes a cigarette.

#monsterdon

Chekovs brooch again, I hope it's cursed!

#Monsterdon

If Carol knew what mummy did to daddy she’d chill the fuck out.

#Monsterdon

Bet she murdered him bc he wanted her to quit smoking.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972
She did have plans.

Notice how the mother is able to manage a murder and the kid without much difficulty.

#Monsterdon

I am questioning the wisdom of bludgeoning someone over deep pile white carpet though. #Monsterdon

Tales From the Columbo. #monsterdon

Had to rewind to look at that GODAWFUL FIREPLACE.
It’s just a box?? With no trapdoor? A box that’s WHITE? So all the soot is visible from SPACE??
#Monsterdon

Our tourists wander around. The Lady Tourist drops a brooch then a guy picks it up for her. Then we get lost and a door opens on its own, then we wander into a weird chamber with a giant Wall Skull at the front and a Monk sitting in front of the Wall Skull like a dark lord on his throne.

The Monk announces their trapped-ness, then we relocate to Christmas, where a man in a plastic fez is setting presents out for his wife while drinking and smoking and also reading the paper.

#monsterdon

I love how the typical 70s home had a minibar in the corner...

#Monsterdon

"Take those off, dad."

"No, I shan't, it's Christmas."

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🪦 TRIVIA FROM THE CRYPT 💀

During production, Peter Cushing was suffering from depression, as his wife had recently died.

He chose this part, though, because he thought he could do it justice. His character is a widower who is trying to communicate with his dead wife. Note that the character's wife is called "Helen" - the name of Cushing's real wife.

Fans feel that this is one of his greatest performances.

#TalesFromTheCrypt

who will be the first gentleman to have their spirit tossed around and spat inside and rolled up like a tube of toothpaste #monsterdon