Really, the takeaway from these stories is that British folk have weirdly pink blood, and not nearly enough of it. Otherwise, these vignettes were pretty much just five of the cringier Fesshole posts. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

Okay, everyone worried about Alive Forever Guy --

His case was loud enough it spend a few decades in paper push before being approved to forward to a small gods' workflow for exception. The queue isn't as bad as the paperpush.

So. His Awareness within the Narative just had a delayed arrival at reconciliation lol.

What remains of his cells is doing Kojima nightmare stuff in a scifi timeline.

/jk

@apLundell What did we learn? #monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou @RobynGoodfellow and he seemed quite proud of it too #Monsterdon

@kshernandez Maybe??? If *that's* a mortal sin, tho, I'm kind of worried because I've made some pretty poorly thought-out choices in my time, too. Am I gonna get sent to hell for asking for a milkshake when I knew I wasn't gonna be able to finish it? #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ @moira

I guess I should be glad I was a kid and didn't know any better, then.

#monsterdon

@kshernandez @CactuarJoe We all should know something about that

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 memento mori, motherfuckers!

*fucks off into the crypt*

ok that was actually a lot of fun everybody <3

@thatdawnperson oh good point, maybe the sea of fire counts as an ocean off in which to fuck

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe It's one of the greatest! #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

@SnoopJ @diazona Oh, right, I had sort of forgotten about that. Though yeah, I agree.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"Bunch of Tory arseholes get thrown into Hell. Merry Christmas!"

Dickens would have loved it!

#Monsterdon

The first #Monsterdon since September that I haven't been working and instead I'm off to pickup a rental car 😅 Love seeing the commentary on my way, though.

lol, I like how the dog was a good boy in the end

#Monsterdon

@diazona @SnoopJ I can't say I saw an orb (it was also on my card)

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

thank you #monsterdon, that was delightful

@socketwench #monsterdon

there's lots of ren-faire-style shops online now fwiw.

@SnoopJ fair

...was there really no reflective orb at any point? huh

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

That was so classic, so trope-tastic that I think it will go on a playlist for next Halloween. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon If I was shown a doorway to Hell, I would simply not walk through it.

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #TalesFromTheCrypt, from 1972, was the origin of our favorite Crypt Keeper! We also had,

perhaps... YOU!

#monsterdon

So this guy just runs the orientation session for Hell.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

lol, "Tories go to hell"

An excellent sentiment for Christmas!

#Monsterdon

You're all dead fuckos....

#Monsterdon

Now we know the origin of the Escape Room concept #monsterdon

That was delightfully fucked up

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boy."

#Monsterdon

this revenge maze is superb...

...it's like a squid game or something

#Monsterdon

It puts the BBQ sauce on its skin or it will get the hose again. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

ah hahahahahahahah did they build that door just so they could slam it in his face? that was amazing.

#monsterdon

Eh honestly the razor corridor does not seem like that much of an obstacle if you can see

Unless they start squeezing him, Death Star style

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Clever. Not a guillotine as such but still very much the means to his end. #Monsterdon

soldier, wrap your jacket around your arm....

#monsterdon

ruh roh, "He'll be fed alright" #monsterdon

@aburka 🤦 😂

These people deserve that pun though

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Hey, man, so that was Karma on the phone. Yeah, so he says that if you get snuck up on by a blind man, it wasn’t his fault, you’re just a fuckwit and to stop writing those bitchy editorials, yeah?
#Monsterdon

This segment is kinda long and slow paced. But to good effect. The slow rising action works. And might somehow be better than Peter Cushing's nice old man acting.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Trapped in the dog trap by a dog. #monsterdon

@Lazarou #monsterdon

I was thinkin a guillotine...

Oh yes Shane. Eat the rich! There's a good boy. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Santa's workshop!
#monsterdon

These old men are very handy.

#Monsterdon

For anyone who was watching from the Internet Archive and experienced problems, you may want to tune in to https://miru.miyaku.media

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

@gnomon This?

https://imcdb.org/vehicle_132493-Jensen-FF-119-070-1968.html

#monsterdon

I hope they are luring the dog and not going to harm the dog...

#Monsterdon

@samsagreg @catzilla

Exactly, Heath *taxed* the rich. Thatcher lauded them and let them off the hook

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow I don't think it's too bad tho, mostly trap him (iirc) #monsterdon

SNEAK has increased

#Monsterdon

I'd kind of expect the blind guys to ambush him in the dark at some point, you know, tactical advantage? #monsterdon

I suspect Colonel Klink's gonna be seeing some red paint soon....

#monsterdon

"Which one is Greenwood?"

the dead one

Tory bastard....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972
new boss goes from zero to "release the hounds" in less than 10 seconds

@Lazarou The opposite of a service dog #monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@samsagreg @catzilla

Thatcher elected in 1979, in 1972 PM was Ted Heath EDIT: who was definitely not Thatcherite. Both Tories but Thatcher was his polar opposite

#Monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 he's in a lot of horror stuff, forget his name #monsterdon

@catzilla earlier, by abt 10 yrs mb? #monsterdon

I'm betting against Brit Murray's eyes

#Monsterdon

Was this from the Tatcher era? It feels a very anti-Tatcher movie #monsterdon

This is EXACTLY what Tory/Labour Austerity is all about, cunts like these...

#Monsterdon

Glad to see this movie understands what makes a good Christmas movie (rich people are terrible)
#monsterdon

I didn't know there were Private Equity Owned long term care facilities in the 1970s #Monsterdon

turning off the heat is so cruel, this reminds of the Grimsdyke (Peter Cushing) story #Monsterdon

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

ya'll don't worry.

headcanon, I go save that dog.

"I have considerable experience dealing with men from my time in the army"
😉
#monsterdon

This canteen is mysteriously without chatter...

#Monsterdon

Lampshades are at 50%

#Monsterdon

"I have considerable experience in dealing with men from my time in the army"

😜

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

@diazona it's just like how my first grad school adviser was too busy to hold one-on-one meetings so he had "lab meetings" that were just serial one-on-ones with each of us with the rest listening bored because our research was so different that we didn't understand what was going on #monsterdon

BINGO :V
#monsterdon

Yeah that one didn't make logical sense. #Monsterdon

Is this bad-things-happen-to-people-who-deserve-it number 4 or 5? I've lost count and 70s british people are all pretty interchangeable. #monsterdon

#monsterdon this guy with the stolen Chinese relic looks like Robert Maxwell, blackmailer extraordinaire and Ghislaine’s father.

"Now, forever"

Well, alright then.

#Monsterdon

so now she has a king's ransom and a dead body inexplicably in her living room. good for her.

#monsterdon

Think I'd prefer those dancing Ghanaian Undertakers...

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe This lady is an asshole. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

"do you know the curse of the monkey's paw?"

"Oh yeah, that Simpsons episode, ...classic"

#Monsterdon

this woman needs to read more #Monsterdon

#monsterdon is the crypt keeper the guy that played The Penguin in Batman, the tv show?

Oh don't pretend you miss Ralph that much, it's his money you married.

#Monsterdon

They're not... even going to establish how he died?

Like the motorcycle ran his car off the road?

EDIT: I guess looking at the skull mask made him have a heart attack because it was so scary that this movie has a PG rating? 😁

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou

You realized cuz he's wearing a Punisher mask?

#Monsterdon

(I feel like @jalefkowit would instantly recognize this red car from nothing more than the enormous expanse of curved glass making up the entire rear quarter of the cab)

Also: hoo boy, this pursuit music

#monsterdon

Is that red car an Aston Martin?

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe that's how the rich do it, baybee #monsterdon

this guy's house would definitely fit right in with zillogonewild

#monsterdon

Wait, why is it written in English and not Chinese?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"do you remember what the strange man said in the shop?"

"don't feed it after midnight?" #monsterdon

"My beautiful things!"

Capitalism

#Monsterdon

Lol, more tories...

#Monsterdon

so this is just an anthology mashup of some Tales from the Crypts
#monsterdon

#monsterdon lol still beating heart!!!!

I was always scared of this movie cover at the video store as a kid, I didn't know it operated on haunted house rules

1972 Pantone color of the year again #Monsterdon

darn I was hoping he would scream like a girl scout
#monsterdon

Poor bastard got peek-a-boo'd to death. #Monsterdon

THE FIST OF A VENGEFUL GRIMSDYKE SHOVES THOUGH DRY EARTH AND CLAWS RESTLESSLY TOWARDS THE INFINITELY DARK SKY

#monsterdon

YOU BETTER SHOW THEM TOGETHER.
YOU BETTER MAKE THOSE ROCKS S N U G G L E.

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

There better be some horrific payback coming....

#Monsterdon

Man I forgot he killed himself. This is heartbreaking, I'm ready for revenge #Monsterdon