thank you so much to everyone who donated items for our giveaway!

and thank you SO much to everyone who donated to these causes!

this was amazing!

#monsterdon
#monsterdonSavesChristmas

arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf! arf!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#monsterdon

New Peanuts movie dropped this holiday season.
#monsterdon

RE: https://tiggi.es/@xoagray/115761165191852487

OMG this is AMAZING!

Thank you so much everyone who donated!!!

#monsterdonSavesChristmas #monsterdon

Oh this is just gonna be five stories of greasy 70's infidelity isn't it? #Monsterdon

okay time to announce the winners of the #MonsterdonSaves Christmas giveaway!!

@xoagray has has a numbered list of people who donated

I'll be picking random numbers 

(I can't see who has what number. that seemed like the fairest way to do this)

and @xoagray will tell us who won! and the people donating the items can DM them for their mailing addresses and all that

#monsterdon

See, this is an infinite loop because a 70's man is NEVER EVER gonna learn not to try to backseat drive for a woman. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon aaaaaaaaaaand it’s a wrap. now i wanna go to Middlesex, England, the gateway to hell.

... and I heard him exclaim as he fucked out of sight ... to all a good #monsterdonsaveschristmas , and to all a good night

#monsterdon

@ricci #monsterdon YOU'LL SEE SOON ENOUGH

HOW ARE YOU STILL FINDING WAYS TO MAKE THIS WORSE???? #Monsterdon

APPAB (all posh people are bastards)

#monsterdon

Fun fact, the world's entire supply of orange-brown was used up in the 70s, it has now gone extinct

#monsterdon

"Perhaps YOU???"

Look dude, I got no wife to cheat on, I don't drive, I don't own real estate, and I was never in the military. And I make it a point to never buy obviously cursed idols, though I admit to still being a little confused about that one. Is antiquing a sin? #Monsterdon

Pretty sure this is the same guy from A Clockwork Orange. #monsterdon

#monsterdon but you gotta admit, those are sensible mary janes heels Joan Collins is wearing to hell, so she’s got that going for her and eternity.

And the movie fucks off into blown-out Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor

That was pretty fun for a 1972 jam.

Well done everyone, looking forward to seeing the final #MonsterdonSavesChristmas total and the lucky giveaway winners. I pulled myself out of the giveaway pool since I won a painting last year, but I am pre-emptively jealous of whoever gets that sweet Godzilla d20!

#Monsterdon

See this is why you never cut arts and crafts, people find the wildest outlets for creativity otherwise. #Monsterdon

holy shit what is the message of this one?
Don't drive. Ever.
#Monsterdon

I can't watch #Monsterdon because it'll rev up my brain and I won't be able to sleep (time zone), but I try to tune in to see the commentary, which is always dripping with sarcasm and laced with comedic brilliance.

Bravo.

@xoagray

next the much coveted poison dice set from @Louisa

and the winner is 42!

#monsterdon #monsterdonSavesChristmas

@xoagray

okay so 3 people will win postcards with original art from @leece sent to themselves or an address of their choice:

@xoagray our winners for these are whoever has numbers 23, 47, and 8!

#Monsterdon #monsterdonsaveschristmas

Yeah, this is just Stories of Tory Leadership. #Monsterdon

My wish is that you'd take a quick break to donate to #monsterdonsaveschristmas while we watch this low-speed car chase

#monsterdon

"It will be worth it, won't it Susan?"

"Of course it will. You are tired! Let me drive."

Are these two about to be killed/imperiled by astigmatism, poor vehicular lighting regulations, and script misogyny?!?

*fast forward ten seconds*

Yep yes uh-huh that's what just happened.

#monsterdon

I *am* counting that kill as "Sweet Treat" for my #MonsterdonBingo card, but I'm not getting a bingo.

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva #monsterdon they better not harm the goggie

Just kill the fuck already. #Monsterdon

Very thoughtful of the old Chinese gentleman to carve the cursed totem in English for these clods. #Monsterdon

"A year ago today. As far as undead retribution goes, we're basically in the clear."

JUMP CUT TO-- #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Quite impressive getting all these printed and calligraphed.

Don't do things by half.

...So did Mr. NIMBY sit there for hours and hours and hours writing this stuff? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon OMG THE ADORABLE OLD GUY WITH THE BLUE BEANIE IS PETER CUSHING! I AM COLUMBUSING ADORABLE PETER CUSHING!

apropos of nothing, reminder that maggie thatcher (rot in piss) didn't come out of nowhere, she was more a symptom than a cause

#Monsterdon

so they’re dead and the crypt is a purgatory? i thought it would be more like the DMV

#monsterdon

Lucky for her, tempera paint is water soluble. #Monsterdon

Ho ho homicidal maniac #Monsterdon

seriously, it’s an european thing to tour cemeteries and catacombs and death related places like that, ain’t it?

#monsterdon

This dude did A LOT of drugs in those 17 years.

#monsterdon

@ricci #monsterdon good bot

#monsterdon i hate that German Shepherds are taught to attack people. grew up with one and their instinct is to herd us and protect us, not attack us.

The Grim Biker #Monsterdon

He's got the Rider-Extremely White tarot deck. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Boy the sinners in this movie get impressively fast karma so far.

Murder? Dead.

Cheating? Mangled.

Right now.

quick question: what the fuck is happening

#Monsterdon

Massaged to death by Santa, what a way to die. #Monsterdon

okay I have cookies and eggnog

lets watch people die

#monsterdon

#monsterdon OMG that hallway of razors

AND THAT'S A WRECK

Our five protagonists are revealed to us and to themselves to have earned their doom in the tomb! Everybody fucks off one by one into the sea of eternal flame as the Toccata and Fugue in D Minor roars out. Pyres to innocence flicker in the stone eye sockets of the skull backlighting the Crypt Keeper as he stares into our souls, weighing and wondering and waiting!

Thanks, @Taweret , that was great fun.

And thank you all, #monsterdon !

Wait. It wasn't the wish guy's fault he died. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

RUN TORY RUN #Monsterdon

Okay but his cell door opens INWARD he could just... No, you know what, a Tory having no self-preservation instincts is pretty accurate. #Monsterdon

Heheheheh

I appreciate the creaky door and the slow turn :D #Monsterdon

I am becoming increasingly concerned that this story isn't over

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

this dog is so cute good grief

not sure if it will have violence visited upon it, or if it will visit violence upon the Major

but so cute

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’LL HIS ENTRAILS!

"I have had a lot of experience of dealing with Men...."

Slut.

#Monsterdon

so if he can't die ever how is he dead being told this by the cryptkeeper?

the whole thing is he was alive forever

how is he dead?

#monsterdon

"Your mother died. You get an inheritance. Good job." #Monsterdon

lol the heart is still beating

#Monsterdon

So when does he come back from the dead and murder Mr. NIMBY? :D :D :D #Monsterdon

#monsterdon After two people immediately screamed after looking at me, I would probably try to find something reflective to look at.

But sure. Keep showing your face to people.

for a movie that uses blood in a lot of scenes you'd think they'd learn what blood looks like but who am I to judge

#monsterdon

So in the UK in the 70s women looked great but had questionable hair or clothing patterns, while men just looked like bland men in their 60s?
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

DANGIT! my puter crashed. couldn’t deal with all that Joan Collins sexiness

#monsterdon

"I'm on my way home to see my wife and children… just thought I'd pop into this crypt tour for a bit"

#Monsterdon

this is, officially a british movie: death by knife and/or stairs.

#monsterdon

...I don't mean to be a party pooper but I think you just invalidated that, ma'am. #Monsterdon

"The stories you're about to see are true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent." #Monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.social/@devilgirlbot/115761192291475451

Monsterdon's very own glorious bot everybody!

#Monsterdon

If you're hungry, your undead wife's corpse is hungry too. Feed her the blood of the living.
#Monsterdon #EvilofDracula

Were all '70s movies this bad?

#monsterdon

Woo! Stuck the landing! Merry Ghostmas boys a ghouls! Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and for #monsterdonsaveschristmas and thanks to @xoagray for the tallying! Have an amazing holiday Beautiful Mutants! And remember:

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

And now… MAXIMUM DONATIONS

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonSavesChristmas

OH NO HE FELL INTO A GREENSCREEN VOLCANO #Monsterdon

"Each creature you control counts as a Food." #Monsterdon

OOOOH they're not just gonna feed him to the dog they're gonna Saw Trap him first :D #Monsterdon

@moira It's like my neighbor's dogs.

Apparently they don't have to breath?

#Monsterdon

Are they going to bribe the dog with bacon to kill the Major

#Monsterdon

lol, look at him with his napkin and wine....

"NOTHING BUT SLOP!"

2025 hears you

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

you guys german shepherd doggo he's cute

"Should we remove the embalming fluid from my now-immortal husband and replace it with like, idk, someone else's blood or maybe just water or something?"

"...hmm, no, let's chop him up instead"

#Monsterdon

He'll walk it off
#monsterdon

Simpson's did it!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

second wish: "I wish I fully understood how to make wishes."

#monsterdon

DOUBLE BAD IDEA #Monsterdon

#monsterdon LMAO the blood is fire engine red paint

🤞 zombie peter cushing, zombie peter cushing 🤞

#monsterdon

lol, this is a genuinely horrifying story of Society....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon ooh, that’s a nod to Monty Python’s deja vu skit, innit? btw, Tales from the Crypt is a cult classic, but i never watched it. you can say, am a crypt virgin 🤓

Tory fucking bastards....

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe children should be ignored and loathed! like I was! #monsterdon

WE HAVE PETER CUSHING ❤️

#monsterdon

You can tell this movie is British because of the way it is

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Maybe get a larger enclosure for those dogs?

"I love you Susan. Seriously. THIS time I'm serious. Not like with that last chick. YOU. Not her. Honestly." #Monsterdon

so is the core conceit of this movie that they all died and each story is how they died?

I'm gonna guess that's what's going on here

#Monsterdon

Joan Collins in an elf hat, blandishing a bloody sword while the kid is upstairs waiting for santa is… a sight. #monsterdon

SHE STOLE HIS FEZ!?!?! #Monsterdon