The child is called Carol, like Christmas Carol ? #monsterdon

Poor Joan. Lost her husband and her kid the same night #Monsterdon

Really good effort, but there's no way you got everything. #monsterdon

@Taweret Totally acceptable. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

Joan keeps going back to her vibrator phone...

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Where did evil Santa come from?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Joan really looks a lot like Diane Keaton in this.

#Monsterdon

Yes. Lady Macbeth, your pretty little hands will all the seas incarnidine.

#Monsterdon

There is NO WAY she cleaned the blood out of that shag carpet that fast.
#Monsterdon

I feel like you know about the killer Santa Claus on the lose you have a pretty good story to tell the cops that doesn't involve moving bodies and cleaning blood out of carpets
#monsterdon

Hmm I wonder if "Mythical Gift-Giver" has been satisfied for bingo purposes

I mean, this is not *really* Santa, right?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

You are listening to the public domain channel. #Monsterdon

@moira hey that kind of story works for the police #monsterdon

#monsterdon This is an insane plan.

She's going to clean the blood from her all-white house? Even though the best possible alibi was trying to break into her living room right where the corpse already was?

That blood is so bright and thick and acrylic
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

The perfect crime

#Monsterdon

@hollie I feel that's a euphemism? #StartsGoogling OMFG #monsterdon

Anybody know when Luminol was invented?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

who vomited jam everywhere In Joan's gaff? She is pissed off and scrubbing now. We are all in trouble #Monsterdon

#monsterdon sorry I wasn't commenting. I was eating cookies

IDK how many of us have ever cleaned up a mess of blood, but the effects coordinator for this film clearly has not. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@catzilla

Can she have it all?

#Monsterdon

Oh my go Lady Macbeth, your hands are clean.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 takes forever to wash all this red paint off her hands

I like how her plan is "he accidentally brutally stabbed himself from behind as he accidentally fell down the basement stairs." I'm sure that'll go over.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Thats not a very good looking drink #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Joan Collins' score so far:

Murder: A
Cleanup: F

@catzilla I’m not counting Joan out. It’s a flashback, I think. #monsterdon

Gah! Missed the start of the #Monsterdon movie because I was busy putting down donations! o.O

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonSavesChristmas

Is this a Lady Macbeth shout out?

#Monsterdon

contrary to popular opinion, you do not in fact need to feed the dead a champagne glass of their own blood to complete the kill #monsterdon

Pantone color of the year: fake orange tempura paint blood.
#Monsterdon

I was expecting to see an entrance wound on the back of his head #monsterdon

The modern woman, so many expectations - cooking, cleaning, tending to the children, murdering, arts and crafts.
#monsterdon

lol, Police forensics were shit back then though....

#Monsterdon

Murdering someone seems like a lot of work. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

yeah, really needed to plan better with that rug, lady, that's the kind of shit they could detect even in the 70s.

#monsterdon

Tempra paint everywhere! #Monsterdon

House murders by Heloise #monsterdon

And they say frosting spreaders are a waste of drawer space

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

In the 70s everyone had neon blood. #monsterdon

A little club soda will get that out. #monsterdon

You could have just bought more red paint at Murdrin' Williams. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Deck the falls with a flight of stairs, fa la la la la, la la la la.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

That paint looks NOTHING like blood

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

is she trying to have a visit from Krampus? Is that where we going?
#Monsterdon

Impressive that the blood is still liquid enough to do that.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

There's something... uniquely interesting about movies using bright red paint that is very very obviously bright red paint for "blood."

#Monsterdon

@jammerb wow impressive! 🎉

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

What a frugal production

#Monsterdon

Ooooof. That tumble had to hurt.
#Monsterdon

~god rest ye merry gentleman
because you're fucking dead~ #monsterdon

OKAY STOP PLAYING WITH THE PAINT. SRSLY. #monsterdon

@strangefour I remember the '70s... It was the decade of trying to hang onto the "free love" of the '60s by commercializing it. lol

#Monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@moira that was exactly the husband's crime for which she murdered him

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972

oooff, that stuntman...

#Monsterdon

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU MAKE A BLOODY MARY

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh come on ref, she got the balls first!? #RefSaysPlayOn #monsterdon

Me after this beer

#Monsterdon

That is some seriously red paint. Fire truck red!

#Monsterdon

Santa knows that you've been naughty! #Monsterdon

Now it's Chrismas at Bernies. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Santa is really intent on this one house for some reason

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

She's been naughty, and Santa's come to give her the coal. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

That kid sure is a sound ... oh she's just pretending to be asleep. Classic Christmas Eve kid #monsterdon

to be fair to her she was only expecting normal santa and zombie santa wasn't due for like 3 more cycles at least #monsterdon

She should totally Kevin McAlister that corpse to make it look like there are more living people inside. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Ok, the fact that the Christmas music keeps going and going through this entire scene is 🧑‍🍳 💋

#Monsterdon

Why isn't she trying to pin dead hubby on bad Santa?

#Monsterdon

Listen, Santa, she's OBVIOUSLY been naughty, sooo....

#monsterdon

I think she must be on the naughty list

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe 😂 🎅

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

The Santa stalker cinematography is really well done.
#Monsterdon

mm, and interior shutters, how very 1970.

#monsterdon

Throw another piece of evidence on the fire, dearest #monsterdon

An Ericofon!

#monsterdon

This is reminding me a lot of Home Alone #monsterdon

Murder woman vs Murder Santa, who's gonna win?
#monsterdon

What an amazing phone! #Monsterdon

🎵 Awayyyy in the catacombs 🎵

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Can't really call the cops, eh? Oh yeah, dead husband. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

The answer to blood stains is hydrogen peroxide and then washing in cold water.

#Monsterdon

He sees you when you're killing Joan. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

“Singing telegram! Ma’am, singing telegram! … Definitely not the escaped homicidal maniac!”

#Monsterdon

Ohhhh yeah, I forgot.... The cops wouldn't get here until 1973. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Good jump scare
#monsterdon

Which poor kid had to watch their Silly Putty get melted down for that blood.
#Monsterdon

HO HO HO!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

"Oh, right, that body"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

She's getting coal for sure this year!

[starts dialing 999] [looks over] [oh] [nevermind]

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Yes call the police to report.....OH GEEZ THIS IS AWKWARD

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Knock knock anyone here need a homicidal maniac?

No thanks we already have one!

#Monsterdon

jesus Joan just change the radio channel if it's giving you the fear that badly
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon ok, but

Why kill him on Christmas Eve, logistically the worst possible time

EEEEEEK novelty phone #monsterdon

That is a lewd shaped 70s rotary phone.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

ah, she's got one of the prisoner phones, i'm sure nothing bad can happen to her.

#monsterdon

Poor operational security for someone just committing a murder - #Monsterdon

That would have been incredible serendipity for the lady murderer, but she didn't think ahead enough to leave the door unlocked for Murder-Santa.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972