#monsterdon sorry I wasn't commenting. I was eating cookies

IDK how many of us have ever cleaned up a mess of blood, but the effects coordinator for this film clearly has not. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@catzilla

Can she have it all?

#Monsterdon

Oh my go Lady Macbeth, your hands are clean.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 takes forever to wash all this red paint off her hands

I like how her plan is "he accidentally brutally stabbed himself from behind as he accidentally fell down the basement stairs." I'm sure that'll go over.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

lol, ok 'lady macbeth'

#Monsterdon

Thats not a very good looking drink #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Joan Collins' score so far:

Murder: A
Cleanup: F

@catzilla I’m not counting Joan out. It’s a flashback, I think. #monsterdon

Gah! Missed the start of the #Monsterdon movie because I was busy putting down donations! o.O

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonSavesChristmas

Is this a Lady Macbeth shout out?

#Monsterdon

contrary to popular opinion, you do not in fact need to feed the dead a champagne glass of their own blood to complete the kill #monsterdon

Pantone color of the year: fake orange tempura paint blood.
#Monsterdon

The modern woman, so many expectations - cooking, cleaning, tending to the children, murdering, arts and crafts.
#monsterdon

I was expecting to see an entrance wound on the back of his head #monsterdon

lol, Police forensics were shit back then though....

#Monsterdon

Murdering someone seems like a lot of work. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

yeah, really needed to plan better with that rug, lady, that's the kind of shit they could detect even in the 70s.

#monsterdon

Tempra paint everywhere! #Monsterdon

House murders by Heloise #monsterdon

And they say frosting spreaders are a waste of drawer space

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

In the 70s everyone had neon blood. #monsterdon

A little club soda will get that out. #monsterdon

You could have just bought more red paint at Murdrin' Williams. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Deck the falls with a flight of stairs, fa la la la la, la la la la.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

That paint looks NOTHING like blood

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

is she trying to have a visit from Krampus? Is that where we going?
#Monsterdon

Impressive that the blood is still liquid enough to do that.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

There's something... uniquely interesting about movies using bright red paint that is very very obviously bright red paint for "blood."

#Monsterdon

@jammerb wow impressive! 🎉

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

What a frugal production

#Monsterdon

Ooooof. That tumble had to hurt.
#Monsterdon

~god rest ye merry gentleman
because you're fucking dead~ #monsterdon

OKAY STOP PLAYING WITH THE PAINT. SRSLY. #monsterdon

@strangefour I remember the '70s... It was the decade of trying to hang onto the "free love" of the '60s by commercializing it. lol

#Monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@moira that was exactly the husband's crime for which she murdered him

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972

oooff, that stuntman...

#Monsterdon

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU MAKE A BLOODY MARY

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh come on ref, she got the balls first!? #RefSaysPlayOn #monsterdon

Me after this beer

#Monsterdon

That is some seriously red paint. Fire truck red!

#Monsterdon

Santa knows that you've been naughty! #Monsterdon

Now it's Chrismas at Bernies. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

She already killed one old guy with a poker - why not another?

#monsterdon

Santa is really intent on this one house for some reason

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

She's been naughty, and Santa's come to give her the coal. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

That kid sure is a sound ... oh she's just pretending to be asleep. Classic Christmas Eve kid #monsterdon

to be fair to her she was only expecting normal santa and zombie santa wasn't due for like 3 more cycles at least #monsterdon

She should totally Kevin McAlister that corpse to make it look like there are more living people inside. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

While the murderess ("Joanne" I think) is moving the body, the radio interrupts its Christmas Carols to tell the audience that a homicidal maniac dressed like Santa has escaped from a mental hospital and is murdering people.

Anyway, while she's hiding the body we see a guy dressed like a Santa sneaking around outside her house. She grabs an Extremely Stylish Rotary Phone and almost uses it to call the cops, but then she realized she has a dead body on her floor.

#monsterdon

Ok, the fact that the Christmas music keeps going and going through this entire scene is 🧑‍🍳 💋

#Monsterdon

Why isn't she trying to pin dead hubby on bad Santa?

#Monsterdon

Listen, Santa, she's OBVIOUSLY been naughty, sooo....

#monsterdon

I think she must be on the naughty list

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe 😂 🎅

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

The Santa stalker cinematography is really well done.
#Monsterdon

mm, and interior shutters, how very 1970.

#monsterdon

Throw another piece of evidence on the fire, dearest #monsterdon

An Ericofon!

#monsterdon

See, this is just bad scheduling. Two murderers in one night? Where's your pacing? #Monsterdon

I appreciate their commitment to playing the same song without interruption through this whole story

#monsterdon

I'm surprised Santa isn't like "Well crap someone did my work for me, thanks for nothing," and wandering off to another house

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

This is reminding me a lot of Home Alone #monsterdon

Murder woman vs Murder Santa, who's gonna win?
#monsterdon

What an amazing phone! #Monsterdon

🎵 Awayyyy in the catacombs 🎵

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Can't really call the cops, eh? Oh yeah, dead husband. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

The answer to blood stains is hydrogen peroxide and then washing in cold water.

#Monsterdon

He sees you when you're killing Joan. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

“Singing telegram! Ma’am, singing telegram! … Definitely not the escaped homicidal maniac!”

#Monsterdon

Good jump scare
#monsterdon

Which poor kid had to watch their Silly Putty get melted down for that blood.
#Monsterdon

Ohhhh yeah, I forgot.... The cops wouldn't get here until 1973. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

HO HO HO!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

"Oh, right, that body"

#Monsterdon

[starts dialing 999] [looks over] [oh] [nevermind]

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#monsterdon

She's getting coal for sure this year!

Yes call the police to report.....OH GEEZ THIS IS AWKWARD

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Knock knock anyone here need a homicidal maniac?

No thanks we already have one!

#Monsterdon

jesus Joan just change the radio channel if it's giving you the fear that badly
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon ok, but

Why kill him on Christmas Eve, logistically the worst possible time

EEEEEEK novelty phone #monsterdon

That is a lewd shaped 70s rotary phone.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

ah, she's got one of the prisoner phones, i'm sure nothing bad can happen to her.

#monsterdon

Poor operational security for someone just committing a murder - #Monsterdon

That would have been incredible serendipity for the lady murderer, but she didn't think ahead enough to leave the door unlocked for Murder-Santa.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Ho ho ho

Who needs an alibi

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ I think we will get the chance to vote on which one was the most evil #monsterdon

@LuluHelle Oh, that WON'T be a problem #TheyNeverTryFire #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 we are all murder woman hiding from evil santa when carolers come

*deliberate focus on newspaper that has nothing to do with the ominous radio announcement

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

@yatsu Seriously, she clobbered that guy to death and his head didn't even move. I think she might be a samurai. #Monsterdon

that phone 😻

#monsterdon

5 minute crafts did not exist in 72 to help her with the blood stains on her carpet :(
#monsterdon

Yep those curtains will keep anything out.
#monsterdon

I can't have some other homicidal maniac horning in on my kill! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

4 locks? Is this a high crime area?

#Monsterdon

I love how she's just killed her husband but she stops dragging his body long enough to consider that being murdered herself might be unpleasant and maybe we lock the door....

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@otheorange_tag

Liebfraumürder!

#Monsterdon