@Taweret Well, guess you gotta finish um. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

Death by Buster!

#Monsterdon

He's not coming back, is he? #Monsterdon

He's gonna leave to be with his go-go-dancer girlfriend, right?

#monsterdon

Who wants a body massage?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Add then?

#Monsterdon

I officially want to die that way. Massaged to death. Death from sheer comfort.

#Monsterdon

Is this one of those movies where they're all already in Hell? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I lost the lid to the cookies. I tossed it aside in the dark and its gone?

I... Saw mommy offed by Saaaaanta Claaaaus! Such a festive #Monsterdon Christmas so far!

AND THEN

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Oh wow, the christmas party next door (literally) just got a live band that sounds like maybe Mariachi music? It is very much clashing with the soundtrack to this movie.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

is that Carol again?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon they hadn't yet learned the "And No And Then" trick from Dude, Where's My Car, could have ended this movie at the first reel...

Ok, nooooow I can call 999. #monsterdon

How many bands does that radio have?

#Monsterdon

(*class mocks him*) And then? And then? And then? #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

That basketball is not regulation

#Monsterdon

Okay. Less then a minute in this guy totally has a mistress. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Sure, why wouldn't you want a snot green shag carpet in your entryway?

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

They may've called that pattern "Carrots and Peas" but it still looks like something that got puked back up

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

i wanna know which detergent she used to wash that blood away

#monsterdon

More 70s homes, I'm enjoying the kitsch and toxic materials...

#Monsterdon

I can smell the rugs in this film. They all reek like damp old dog.
Fact.
#Monsterdon

Evil Santa, check. Honestly, I was expecting more supernatural shenanigans. A few more stories to go so we'll see. #Monsterdon

He's going to go home and repot that fern in something other than a strawberry pot is what he's going to do

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Ralph Richardson's voice is so damn fine. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe It's the early 70s. they blew a lot early then.

If you know what I mean. #monsterdon

@amyfou I think he might have used a little too much force. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

oooooo the swanky sexy music
#Monsterdon

And then along came JONES #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt #MonsterdonSavesChristmas

And then along game Jones...

#monsterdon

@Taweret Pass

#Monsterdon

Best #Monsterdon soundtrack so far 😹

Homicide Detective: “Looks like she was shoulder massaged to death.”

#Monsterdon

Santa gives a heck of a neck massage

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

You will be visited by three "And Thens". Or maybe half a dozen of them if you plan on being really, really bad.

#Monsterdon

Nice callback to Dude, Where's My Car, which will have been made several decades into the future.

"Aaaaand theeeeeen?" #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

That’s some real Lady MacBeth scrubbing there. #Monsterdon

AND THE?N AND THEN? And then... and...
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

(( currently suffering the indignity of an instacart ad featuring a stop-motion polar bear with huge abs ))
#monsterdon

Wow that was a shared brain cell moment from Monsterdon! ​:floofLol:​

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#monsterdon oh no she's being shoulder massaged TO DEATH

#monsterdon

They missed an opportunity to have Joan Collins AND Santa in the crypt..

We have a Christmas Carol and a Christmas Carl? Such alliteration.

And so many kids not sleeping: they must not have finished their tot of gin. #monsterdon

This is Canterbury Tales, personal crypt edition??? #Monsterdon

No and then!

#Monsterdon

who is scheduling all of this right after a crypt tour #monsterdon

Her fate is to get shoulder-rubbed to death?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

this homicidal maniac likes giving the ladies a shoulder massage!

"I'm going to shoulder massage you to death!!!"

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

Do you get it yet? How many more tales must we tell before yall get that you are dead?
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Hey, she got that brooch for Christmas. #Monsterdon

and probably murder them, if the rest of this special is anything to go by.

#monsterdon

She’s reacting quite odd to a shoulder massage.

#Monsterdon

Surprise! they're all dead! shocking! #monsterdon

Santa and the Deathly Neck Massage!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@wulfric I don't think that was the real Santa

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt

She dies from a shoulder massage from Santa #Monsterdon

DEATH BY OVER AGGRESSIVE SHOULDER MASSAGE

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 i can't get over the size of that portable radio

Ohhhh the monk is like a ghost of Christmas present #Monsterdon

Wait, she’s massaged to death? #monsterdon

Well that kid's gonna need some therapy.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

WELP THAT'S GRIM

#Monsterdon

hohoho booty call?
#Monsterdon

It's totally a flashback.
#monsterdon

Killed by back massage.

#Monsterdon

80 year old man murders 30 year old woman
#monsterdon

Death by shoulder massage

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Santa giving you a nice shoulder rub you die
#monsterdon

lol, atta girl!

#Monsterdon

Is santa giving her a neck massage?

#Monsterdon

Calm down lady, it's just a shoulder massage!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Santa knows the Vulcan neck pinch. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Death by shoulder massage?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

And here I thought I was going to be able to escape Christmas music...

#Monsterdon

Is there a child named Carol on this because it's Christmas? 🤔

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Wait the kid's name is Carol? Really? #monsterdon

With cleaning skills like that, no wonder he thought she was a great wife #Monsterdon

Blood out of a fur carpet? Winning!

The child is called Carol, like Christmas Carol ? #monsterdon

Poor Joan. Lost her husband and her kid the same night #Monsterdon

Really good effort, but there's no way you got everything. #monsterdon

Joan keeps going back to her vibrator phone...

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@Taweret Totally acceptable. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

Where did evil Santa come from?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Joan really looks a lot like Diane Keaton in this.

#Monsterdon

Yes. Lady Macbeth, your pretty little hands will all the seas incarnidine.

#Monsterdon

There is NO WAY she cleaned the blood out of that shag carpet that fast.
#Monsterdon

I feel like you know about the killer Santa Claus on the lose you have a pretty good story to tell the cops that doesn't involve moving bodies and cleaning blood out of carpets
#monsterdon

Hmm I wonder if "Mythical Gift-Giver" has been satisfied for bingo purposes

I mean, this is not *really* Santa, right?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

You are listening to the public domain channel. #Monsterdon

@moira hey that kind of story works for the police #monsterdon

#monsterdon This is an insane plan.

She's going to clean the blood from her all-white house? Even though the best possible alibi was trying to break into her living room right where the corpse already was?

That blood is so bright and thick and acrylic
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@hollie I feel that's a euphemism? #StartsGoogling OMFG #monsterdon

The perfect crime

#Monsterdon

Anybody know when Luminol was invented?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

who vomited jam everywhere In Joan's gaff? She is pissed off and scrubbing now. We are all in trouble #Monsterdon