Already looking forward to Young Tory's death...

#Monsterdon

are these gay landlord murderers or what? #monsterdon

I mean, his house is in better shape than mine.

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

This guy def votes right
#monsterdon

#monsterdon zoning laws allow you to keep a small dog coop on your lawn, for the eggs

How have the poshos got a house and clothing which is stuck in the Victorian era? Is this their curse?
#Monsterdon

I mean what kind of 20 year old buys the Daily Mail?

#Monsterdon

Oh those puppies better be safe…

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

He's not that bad of a collector

#Monsterdon

Is this a screed against reduce reuse recycle, which phrase I think came into vogue around this time?

#Monsterdon

Who picks up your garbage though?

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

That kid is a boomer and already acting so boomerish
#monsterdon

This guy hates upcyling #Monsterdon

Somehow this is set in the most Edwardian possible 1972

#Monsterdon

Happier times for Grand Moff Tarkin

#Monsterdon

"He didn't cross the road"

"Well, he's not a _chicken_."

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raleigh_Chopper

#Monsterdon

"He's NICE TO CHILDREN! How DARE HE!" #Monsterdon

And now a look at the less posh slice of British society #monsterdon

Grimsdyke seems like a genre I would be into. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

when he asked the crypt keeper what he wanted I was certain he was going to say ‘crackers’ #Monsterdon

That is MUCH too small of a dog kennel for all those dogs.
#Monsterdon

@xerozohar If he's not Death I will be very disappointed. #Monsterdon

Children! Be careful! That man is responsible for killing billions of souls at one time, when he destroyed Alderaan.

#Monsterdon

One of those recursive zombie nightmares ain't that a bitch

Maybe the moral of the story of this #Monsterdon is to do right by your lady?

Grand Mof Tarkin: The Ragamuffin years. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Mr. Grimscythe?

.... you know I think i'll use that actually. #monsterdon

oh this story is so sad 😿 #Monsterdon

not many houses have a loading dock just for dogs

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

why are there so many doggos in that box?

This guy is giving me nonce vibes...

...but which one!?

#Monsterdon

How did people just not fly into rage at he constant sensory overload from 1970s wallpaper?

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

We must know

and that's really the whole problem, isn't it

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

@sean ...polypeptide cake?! :ablobcatgooglymlemjumping: #monsterdon

o now I see

#monsterdon

GRIMSDYKE?! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

A wild Peter Cushing appears!

#Monsterdon

And then we have THIS GUY, capable of having an amazing library and still being grumpy

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

This movie is "Dr Terror's House of Horrors" but less stylish and worse-acted.

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt

Hi Peter! We've missed you! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Honestly, you kind of have to admire his aim, to steer right into the same fence every single time he crashes the car

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Why does he have three steps of spiral stairs?
#monsterdon

He's got a porpoise? #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Crypt Keeper is everyone's boss #monsterdon

I wonder why monk hoods fell out of fashion, they look quite cozy to wear around clammy stone catacombs. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

This whole movie's gonna be Upper Crust Brits Display Their Anxieties For the Audience #Monsterdon

#monsterdon aaaaaaaaand am back. y’all this movie is a gem of 1970s aesthetics. that empty apartment is everything.

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon
Edgy audience insert wants something less basic, knows something is going on.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 bonus: we can re-use the same crash footage!

Y’all, I can’t 💩post like normal, because I’m actually *gasp* kinda engaged in the story!!!

#Monsterdon

you must know, you've read the script. no seriously, tell me, i haven't read it.

#monsterdon

Easy there John Mayer we'll get to you

#Monsterdon

WHAT'S. ON. YOUR MIND.

YOU MUST TELL US

WHAT. IS ON. YOUR MIND.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Still waiting for the puppet tbh (or does this predate that?) #monsterdon

The worst nightmare for a hetero white man is that he now has very dark skin.

That tracks. #Monsterdon

The third guy looks envious of the kid with the banana seat. #monsterdon

'Trying' to frighten them? No, he's succeeding!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

The other guys is leaning forward like "Do me next!! Do me!"

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"I assure you I have a purpose"

Things you can say in a #Monsterdon film or a performance review.

Director: that car crash was so good let’s use it twice #Monsterdon

I mean, prophetic dreams within questionable visions, Its just confusing #monsterdon

Just joining #monsterdon now, I'm sure this will all make sense soon.

Right?

Please?

My head canon on story two is that its a time loop, not a nightmare. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972
couldn't hire an actual dead person, movie? you had to use grey face.

ohhh, the crypt is the Afterlife/ Purgatory...

#Monsterdon

The modern crypt keeper is so much better.

#Monsterdon

the purpose of a cryptid is what it does #monsterdon

He should have learned the first time that grabbing the steering wheel is not a winning move #monsterdon

They just forced us to watch that crash sequence again. Susan looks like she’s laughing.

#Monsterdon

not really fun irony to that story. a guy just died in a car wreck and that was literally it

#monsterdon

Is this when Data's head rings like a telephone?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

ah. okay, that one was actually nice. twilight zone-esque. A+

#monsterdon

Omg that was all a dream, and happens again... well that was dumb but I can say it's better than a whole movie I saw with that basic premise. Better done in 10 minutes.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Of for the love of-!

He has a bad dream where all this happens. He wakes up. THEN LITERALLY REPEATS THE EXACT SAME MISTAKE!!!

Dude has the brain of a gadfly.

#Monsterdon

Another mysteriously clean head wound. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

So the guy walks away from the burning car where his lover died and walks up to people but his appearance frightens them and they run away screaming. He goes to his house and his wife screams at him and also there's another middle-aged man there so I guess he wasn't the only one having an affair. He's probably a zombie or something.

#monsterdon

It's Cahhhl

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

This was a terrible idea last time. Let's do it again.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

why does he sound like he's been shrunken into a weeble?

Well fuck, don't grab the wheel again!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

hmm, I think I'm a bit behind. How awful must a person look to horrify people that fast, and still be able to walk so soon?

#monsterdon

Alright, great scare!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Hahaha this was great!!!
#monsterdon

Or maybe not...

#Monsterdon

"The furniture. It's so ugly!"

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

I wonder what the crypt is up to right now

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

In a time before mirrored lifts...
#monsterdon

Nice dream!

#Monsterdon

Not a huge POV fan, if I’m being completely honest.

#Monsterdon

@paco Evil Santa had a surprise for her #monsterdon

@paco she got strangled by bad santa

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

*Takes one look at the murderous wife*

prophetic dream sequences in flashback sequences?!? #monsterdon

Has he become the deranged Santa, knocking on people’s doors?

#Monsterdon

that disturbing sculpture in the hallway....

#MOnsterdon

POV I have been horribly burned and guess my wife didn't like me that much after all. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Hmm, you make a good point rando guy, *do* I want to get myself killed?

🤔

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

He must be wearing white after labor day? #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

He could try a mirror at this point
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

The Santa-bury tales. I'll see myself out.