YOU CANNOT STOP THE MYSTERONS, EARTHMAN!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

He dies, she gets the inheritance?

#Monsterdon

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Eat The Rich #monsterdon

DO YOU HAVE ANY FRUIT TO DECLARE?? #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh good, I can catch up on toots while we have this long drive sequence

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Handy that the ancient Chinese magical statue is labeled in English.

@LuluHelle Very true, although I suppose this is all happening in a world where blood is latex paint

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

"I wish for... un-geoblocked Tubi"

#Monsterdon

This is the most interesting and exciting soundtrack for a horror film.

#Monsterdon

Maitland's car is the director's favorite color #monsterdon

Jazzy Motorcycle! #Monsterdon

@sean my #1 genre in spotify wrapped #monsterdon

Luigi Mangione on the bike maybe....

#Monsterdon

Does he live in a compound? How many gates does he have?
#Monsterdon

I liked the soundtrack better when it was all Christmas carols.

#monsterdon

Tales From the Crypt but it's just Impossible Mission Force fucking w/ these guilty SOBs. #Monsterdon

Epic 70s slow paced car chase! DRIVING AT ROAD LEGAL SPEED ACTION!!
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

“I wish for crackers. Lot and lots of crackers.” #Monsterdon

This dude looks vaguely like Steven Seagal trying to have a deep thought #Monsterdon

Crypt Jazz!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

@lorgonumputz lol that would totally be a way better movie

(arguably it *was* better, in the form of The Good Place, although to be fair that was also better in every other possible way)

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

"it's about money" or "it's about THE money", there are very different connotations #monsterdon

uh, is that biker person behind the pole going to be important, or is that just something that happens on set in england?

#monsterdon

The car that starts like a mustang and ends like a gremlin. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Does the car explode and she gets insurance?
#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Definitely a disgruntled Chinese fellow. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

Ooo! It's Agent Black! This must be a Captain Scarlet episode I'M SO IN

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

time for some lessons in rhetoric and the ambiguity inherent in language #monsterdon

#monsterdon Imagine buying a statue with that inscription on it and not even noticing?

WAIT! IT IS HIM! i suffer from prosopagnosia, so if i memorize a face, it’s hard for me to recognize people if they change their look. am so used to seeing PCush in whiteish makeup with a frown upon his face, am really having a hard time processing this stubbly-faced and humanized PCush.

#monsterdon

Failing oligarch, next. A monkey's paw set up. Excellent, more karmic retribution.

Definitely an oligarch, struggling to sound out each word on a very basic inscription.

Ah, they avoided the obvious wish trap which makes me hope for an even more devious fate. #Monsterdon

Girlfriend needs to wish for a real hairdresser #Monsterdon

TIL one of the perks is employees get to live on the premises of the British Museum.
#Monsterdon

"I wish for lots and lots of money"

trash people, I would have gone for an end to Poverty or something...

#Monsterdon

COMMISSIONER SIMMONS! HE'S COMMISSIONER SIMMONS IN SPACE 1999!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

If this movie were made today, Matt Berry would be great in the role of Jason.

#Monsterdon

More things should have their terms and conditions written as poems

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

You're just a story, lady

#Monsterdon

Diagetic awareness of "The Monkey's Paw" 👀👀

#Monsterdon

Greedy people wishing upon cursed objects, what could go wrong?
#monsterdon

Referencing a better story, hrm

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

The rest of it was smudged away by the prop department, unfortunately

#Monsterdon

"Use it wisely."

"I wonder what he meant by that?"

*sigh* RIP, my guy. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

#monsterdon "Do you remember what that little man said when he sold it to us?"

"Yes. Do not feed after midnight."

#Monsterdon From last year when we bullied that man to death

Wishmaster Zero (1972) #monsterdon

I love this one. These dumb illiterates ... #monsterdon

The Monkey's Paw mentioned!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh goody, Orientalism #monsterdon

this guy learned to read last week. Go wee man!
#Monsterdon

Burmashave. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#monsterdon
#TalesFromTheCrypt1972
all the exotic goods British Imperialism can buy

More red paint. #Monsterdon

Oh we're going to djinn rather than monkey's paw for this one? Interesting.

#Monsterdon

Dude, if you didn't have that chronic Museum Store habit, you wouldn't be destitute right now.

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 you gotta take heart

I feel a variant of The Monkey's Paw coming on. #monsterdon

LOL that writing takes up SO much of it and you're just now noticing???

#monsterdon

Aw yeah cursed statuette time

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

He meant the amount of lube, obviously. That thing is huge. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

oh gr8 'mysteris of the orient' just what we need in the high class british society movie #monsterdon

He's emotionally attached to gaudy knick knacks and tasteless rubbish?

…
Is he a Trump?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@aburka These are the important questions

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 "now i have a machine gun. ho ho ho."

"Everything we collected all over the world. All this tacky crap."

#Monsterdon

That living room is terrifying
#monsterdon

#monsterdon How will they live without all this?!?

Not as cruel as the guy in the previous segments!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt #MonsterdonSavesChristmas

"Don't feed it after midnight"?

#Monsterdon

Good lord this is the gaudiest room I've seen outside of a Trump property. #Monsterdon

Ah yes, back in the day, when secretaries served whisky in the office.
#monsterdon

If I had seen this in 1972, I would have had nightmares forever. #Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou

Later in the decade it got more orange

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

_This_ is your house. _This_ junk shop showroom is your pride and joy. My gods.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Here we go with the orange blood again.

Also, do these people always dress up in full business attire just to hang around the house all day?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

just don't sell that geode it's nice

A strange shop in Hong Kong

This can’t be at all important

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 red paint all over my sweater cause it was made with real wool

stick around after the movie if you entered the giveaway

we'll be announcing winners

#monsterdonSavesChristmas

#monsterdon

Tales did a good job of sticking it to rich assholes. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@neia Yeah, that's the real horror #monsterdon

#Monsterdon yeah, this one always gets me. Eff that capitalist pig in his stupid face. He deserves every horror that's coming to him.

I don't know about y'all, but I'm having a great effing time! #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinegar_valentines

I'm reminded of these nasty cards.

#Monsterdon

My house! In the middle of my street!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

That vengance killing does not add a unique support person to those kids lives and to that community.

It doesn't replace the recycling facility.

It doesn't replace the dog homes or repair their new, deeper fear.

And dozens of ugly rhetorical wrinkles.

Anyway, if ya don't stop ur children out of an excess of parental mercy you may lose them anywayyyy.

is the rest of the group seeing this on like a projector screen in the crypt? or by telepathy? or is everyone just waiting around while the cryptkeeper lie-detectors each one of them? #monsterdon

@LuluHelle I thought it was supposed to be the heart of the guy he killed

but idk 🤷

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

"You? You tripped over a sausage and choked on your tie. Really not all that ironic at all."

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

That was my favorite one so far.
#monsterdon

"What am I doing here?"

Crypt keeper: "Uh... not sure, honestly. Must be a clerical error. Off you go, then. So sorry."

#Monsterdon

Homicide Detective: “We’ve narrowed it down to two suspects, Ben Moore and the Williams boy.”

#Monsterdon

"what am I doing here"

"...fook if I know?" #monsterdon

These are not the same place.
#monsterdon

@aburka 😆👍
#Monsterdon

"What am I doing here?" says Number 4, who has absolutely not caught on.

#Monsterdon

What am I doing here?

Yule C

#Monsterdon

Lotta dead people walking in this Tales From The... oh.

#monsterdon

"You are the worst of all... you want us to have an American health care system!"

#monsterdon