#monsterdon

It's a good thing they didn't ACCIDENTALLY wish for something when they were in the room before...

Well this is surprisingly meta. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

So.... now hes immortal? #monsterdon

Wishing for dead people to come back *always* works so well
#monsterdon

No no don't wish for him to come back, haven't you seen-- ah, nevermind.

#Monsterdon

"Now I'm going to wish for Ralph back!"

Yeah, that never ends well.

#Monsterdon #TailsfromTheCryp1972

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

Dude, you could have just said 'yes'

zombie ralph appearing in the next scene?
#Monsterdon

Wish for something good to happen to the statue

#Monsterdon

Be careful what you wish for Enid #Monsterdon

why didn't we just do the monkey's paw for this segment instead of a story where we talk about the monkey's paw

#monsterdon

It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it! #monsterdon

Oh, fate is not done with Ralph yet! #Monsterdon

Enid suddenly stopped crying when she heard that Ralph’s death made her very rich.

#Monsterdon

Double-ended indemnity

#Monsterdon #MonkeysPaw

I'm beginning to distrust the skid performance of British motorcars #monsterdon

This isn't going to end well...

#Monsterdon

Nooooo! That's the "came back wrong" trope! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Stop, Enid, and read The Monkey’s Paw. Take your time with those wishes. #monsterdon

"Ralph, dead? :("
"This makes you a very rich woman"
"Oh :)"

#monsterdon

I suppose he *had* to be killed, as the character who read "The Monkey's Paw". Would rather spoil the story otherwise.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

Enid, this may not be the best moment to talk about this giant flipping pile of money you've gotten out of your husband's death

These English pricks made him blow up Alderaan!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh, she's going to wish him alive again, isn't she.
#Monsterdon

Oh, this is the Monkey's Paw story...

#Monsterdon

You get a death! and you get a death! Everybody gets a death! #monsterdon

I don't know where this was filmed, but these are NOT British roads.

#Monsterdon

I think I'd like to have gotten to know this guy a bit better before he was killed. Like tell me more of the evil rich shit he did. #Monsterdon

welp. you wanted to be rich, lady.

#monsterdon

Standard practice, inform the solicitor before the next of kin.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

PLEASE let that bike helmet have a monkey decal-
#Monsterdon

@diazona but they did liquefy the dead man walking's eyeballs. So they tried. Just not consistently
#Monsterdon

Ralph: *suddenly appears going 80mph hovering above the road* "What the fu---" *splat*
#monsterdon

"At least nothing untoward can happen while I play my 'All Car Chase Jazz Edition' mixtape."

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

so the lesson in this one is don't let your wife wish for money on a statue

#monsterdon

Skeletor's out for a joyride #monsterdon

With that face? Of *course* the talisman was going to screw you over

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

that skull mask would not be out of place in a 2025 bike helmet honestly

(Are we not supposed to notice the person's face clearly visible behind the mask? Legit not sure if we were supposed to believe that was a skull.)

#Monsterdon

He clearly made millions off of doing driving montages

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

These schmoes obviously never got the advice to retain a wishing lawyer before engaging the services of a limited-quantity wishgiver. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@strangefour
But the music is WILD

#Monsterdon

That was a very chill car chase #monsterdon

It's Ghost Rider!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

#monsterdon btw, is Tales from the Crypt a Hammer movie?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 wait, this fucker was a british arms dealer in colonial southeast asia? fuck him i hope he dies

extremely fuckwithable Detective Woodwinds soundtrack #monsterdon

I might find this more suspenseful if it made some kind of sense…

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Dig that crazy soundtrack man. Like cool dadio. #Monsterdon

YOU CANNOT STOP THE MYSTERONS, EARTHMAN!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

He dies, she gets the inheritance?

#Monsterdon

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Eat The Rich #monsterdon

DO YOU HAVE ANY FRUIT TO DECLARE?? #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

#monsterdon Handy that the ancient Chinese magical statue is labeled in English.

Oh good, I can catch up on toots while we have this long drive sequence

#Monsterdon

@LuluHelle Very true, although I suppose this is all happening in a world where blood is latex paint

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

This is the most interesting and exciting soundtrack for a horror film.

#Monsterdon

"I wish for... un-geoblocked Tubi"

#Monsterdon

Maitland's car is the director's favorite color #monsterdon

Jazzy Motorcycle! #Monsterdon

Luigi Mangione on the bike maybe....

#Monsterdon

@sean my #1 genre in spotify wrapped #monsterdon

Does he live in a compound? How many gates does he have?
#Monsterdon

I liked the soundtrack better when it was all Christmas carols.

#monsterdon

Tales From the Crypt but it's just Impossible Mission Force fucking w/ these guilty SOBs. #Monsterdon

Epic 70s slow paced car chase! DRIVING AT ROAD LEGAL SPEED ACTION!!
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

“I wish for crackers. Lot and lots of crackers.” #Monsterdon

This dude looks vaguely like Steven Seagal trying to have a deep thought #Monsterdon

Crypt Jazz!

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt

@lorgonumputz lol that would totally be a way better movie

(arguably it *was* better, in the form of The Good Place, although to be fair that was also better in every other possible way)

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

"it's about money" or "it's about THE money", there are very different connotations #monsterdon

uh, is that biker person behind the pole going to be important, or is that just something that happens on set in england?

#monsterdon

The car that starts like a mustang and ends like a gremlin. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@CactuarJoe Definitely a disgruntled Chinese fellow. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

Does the car explode and she gets insurance?
#Monsterdon

Ooo! It's Agent Black! This must be a Captain Scarlet episode I'M SO IN

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

time for some lessons in rhetoric and the ambiguity inherent in language #monsterdon

#monsterdon Imagine buying a statue with that inscription on it and not even noticing?

WAIT! IT IS HIM! i suffer from prosopagnosia, so if i memorize a face, it’s hard for me to recognize people if they change their look. am so used to seeing PCush in whiteish makeup with a frown upon his face, am really having a hard time processing this stubbly-faced and humanized PCush.

#monsterdon

Failing oligarch, next. A monkey's paw set up. Excellent, more karmic retribution.

Definitely an oligarch, struggling to sound out each word on a very basic inscription.

Ah, they avoided the obvious wish trap which makes me hope for an even more devious fate. #Monsterdon

Girlfriend needs to wish for a real hairdresser #Monsterdon

TIL one of the perks is employees get to live on the premises of the British Museum.
#Monsterdon

"I wish for lots and lots of money"

trash people, I would have gone for an end to Poverty or something...

#Monsterdon

COMMISSIONER SIMMONS! HE'S COMMISSIONER SIMMONS IN SPACE 1999!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

If this movie were made today, Matt Berry would be great in the role of Jason.

#Monsterdon

More things should have their terms and conditions written as poems

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

You're just a story, lady

#Monsterdon

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon
Ok i think audience gets a slow-walk towards the metaphysical concepts...

Diagetic awareness of "The Monkey's Paw" 👀👀

#Monsterdon

Greedy people wishing upon cursed objects, what could go wrong?
#monsterdon

Referencing a better story, hrm

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

The rest of it was smudged away by the prop department, unfortunately

#Monsterdon

"Use it wisely."

"I wonder what he meant by that?"

*sigh* RIP, my guy. #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

#monsterdon "Do you remember what that little man said when he sold it to us?"

"Yes. Do not feed after midnight."

#Monsterdon From last year when we bullied that man to death

I love this one. These dumb illiterates ... #monsterdon

Wishmaster Zero (1972) #monsterdon

The Monkey's Paw mentioned!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Oh goody, Orientalism #monsterdon

this guy learned to read last week. Go wee man!
#Monsterdon