Cujo?
#monsterdon

@combatwombat 🎉

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Oh lawd Enid NEVER say "forever" #Monsterdon

Please don't hurt doggo #monsterdon

This guy's like, "Wait, you mean if I go home I have three wishes waiting for me?"

Crypt keeper just explained the rules, he's better off now than he was before

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Crypt Keeper is kind of a tool #monsterdon

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon

You can take it #togo but #don'tforgettoreadthefortunecookie

PUPPY #monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

why do you have a loop in your hands bowler dude?

Pupper!

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Death by mall katana. What a way to go.

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

I mean... Reanimator showed us that chopped up into bits and unable to die wasn't so bad from a sinister plotting standpoint. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"Major Rodgers" 🫡

oh wait that's wrong

(NB this is referencing that running joke from How I Met Your Mother)

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

How can he be alive and tormented forever if he's dead in the crypt?? #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@diazona well there's that question answered #monsterdon

ok you guys are in here for how one of you killed your husband, one of you killed a kindly old janitor guy, one of you had a secret family, and uh one of you was cursed by a monkeys paw to live forever and have your organs all over the place and stuff #monsterdon

Well clearly the heart attack was from all that pasta

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Dude! That's some dark stuff. #Monsterdon

Is he being chased by Kamen Rider?

#Monsterdon

Yeah, that will teach you to go bankrupt! How dare you!!
#monsterdon

#TalesFromtheCrypt1972
#monsterdon
Plenty of practical to roll in.

She's really bad at killing people *and* un-killing people.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret Well he did apparently speculate with a bunch of money entrusted to him?

#Monsterdon

Well...

Better put him in Parliament

#Monsterdon

Perfect. Chef's kiss. No notes. They knew what they were getting into, they did it anyway. It went as horribly as expected, if not worse. Immortal suffering, in pieces. Delicious. #Monsterdon

"welp, time to cut the layrnx!" #monsterdon

Congratulations, you are very smart
#monsterdon

Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.

#Monsterdon

Ok. That hand thing was good.
#Monsterdon

He's full of balloon animals!

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

Mmm, chitlins #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 girl no

she needs to work on her problem solving #monsterdon

Ladies and gentlemen, this movie is rated PG.

PG.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Just close the box and walk away Enid. You tried.

#Monsterdon

@pngwen 🎉

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Those embalmers moved fast
#monsterdon

Wishes a person back to life.

He comes back to life.

Starts stabbing him with a random sword.

Wow, such true love. *Sniffs*

#Monsterdon

WELP THAT'S GRIM * 4

#monsterdon

Well I didn't expect this to end with a samurai sword cutting up sausages.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

@diazona or listen to the men folk #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

ooh shrimp #monsterdon

mfer could go be a punk rock singer now

#monsterdon

Should have wished for the cheeseburger.
#Monsterdon

@randy_s ooh I gotta check that out

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

“Now, forever!”

Dang it woman, haven’t you ever read your Greek mythology???
#Monsterdon

It's very simple. You need to take a living person's blood, my dude. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

FOREVER....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I don't think anyone does the "Three wishes rules lawyer" routine better than Nandor in What We do in the shadows but this is a solid effort, for 50 years ago.

While typing, that must be the chicken cutlets the guy on doesthedogdie was referring to...

"Forever" no, Enid.
#monsterdon

"I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener" #monsterdon

WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAAAAAAD IN YOUR HEAAAAAAAAAD ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE BIE BIE BIE #monsterdon

Listen, you silly twat! You are bad at wishes!! #Monsterdon #TalesfromtheCrypt 🪦🧟

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

ENID!

you mustn't wish him back

why not?

I think he just told you, didn't he?

#monsterdon

I wonder if he's going to be right outside that door when she does a dumb thing here and he gets up out of that casket.

#Monsterdon #TailsfromTheCryp1972

Do something! Kill me!

#Monsterdon

Eternal life without eternal youth!!!

#Monsterdon

Wait, sell off my things to pay my debts, like The Poors? #Monsterdon

And that's now you make a zombie. Great job hon. Watch more movies.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Enid, ask for a cheeseburger or a nice lamp. Stop playing with death.
#Monsterdon

i keep thinking the reveal is going to be that people are secret gay lovers and that keeps not being it #monsterdon

Her devotion is commendable but really, you have to know when to cut your losses #Monsterdon

Should have pasted that Ringu face on him....

#Monsterdon

#ChristmasPartyAFilmOrShow is now trending across Mastodon

#Monsterdon is now trending across Mastodon

So this is a story about a story of gaming the system of the Monkey's Paw ironic wishes?
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

I wish... that my wish be used up without purpose or effect! #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

And he's now immortal and in eternal pain, I bet

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Man, you just can't get 30 minutes or less service from Corpsedash any more.

#monsterdon #talesfromthecrypt

but he's the guy being told this story by the crypt keeper

he literally did nothing

his wife made a wish and then he had a heart attack

#monsterdon

That was the weirdest twist. He had already died just before the accident!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

Enid.

The fire and passion in their relationship was clear from the start.
#monsterdon

gawd this "story" :blobcat_angry: #monsterdon

Who were those four men? Amazon corpse delivery guys?
#monsterdon

How many years did they have this statue and Enid never once said "Ralph, I wish you'd stop whistling?" in its presence #monsterdon

Uber Stiffs. #Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

So are these guys like ghosts, or just undertakers who don't question a work order? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I assume the writing appeared on the statue at the most ironic time, and that it appears in the language of the owner it wants to fuck with

That doesn't explain the stereotypical fake brushstroke font though huh

I’m confused as to why this is Ralph’s story for the crypt

#Monsterdon

let us make an entirely NEW MISTAKE

#Monsterdon

I'm seeing double. four Tallmen! "Boooooy."
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

What kind of car was Ralph driving? #monsterdon

@blogdiva oh no, they never try fire! #monsterdon #iMayBeAbot

who invited the local goth mime troupe?
totally not cool, bad timing
#Monsterdon

More human reaction than Erica Kirk, just saying.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972 this is a really relaxed car chase

if it's one thing that monkeys paws love it's when you try and outsmart the monkeys paw #monsterdon

@screwturn Mission accomplished, then 👍

(It's a weekly movie watch party; this week we're doing Tales From the Crypt)

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCryptmas

Second story where someone died because of a car accident.

Do British people suck at driving or just writing? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🏛️💀🔪🪞💝🧙😱

um - NOT IMMEDIATELY BEFORE, lady

"...mutilated, mangled, torn." 😻

#Monsterdon

He should've kept the delta-V and come crashing through the living room, destroying everything.

#monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

Well actually no the couple never sees their son because they cancel the wish before the person knocking on the door comes in.
#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

"do you know the curse of the monkey's paw?"

"Oh yeah, that Simpsons episode, ...classic"

#Monsterdon

Whoops, never mind.

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972

You see, if you lampshade the monkey's paw parable, it's ok! #monsterdon

um, ma'am, i've seen this twilight zone episode, and those two had a better class of tchotchke, and it still didn't end well for them.

#monsterdon

Oh wow, someone learned something from the Monkey's Paw?

#Monsterdon #TalesFromTheCrypt1972