He has an IQ like a phone number too. unfortunately, it's "0" for operator.

#monsterdon

lol, looks like he's growing some excellent weed in there....

#Monsterdon

@heathen_cat traditional Louisiana welcome #Monsterdon

Nobody gets into the swamp without proper business attire.

#monsterdon

Some goofy threatening music plays and we a rambo guy coming out of the swamp, but I don't think he did anything. Then the helicopter lands and I learn it is a coast guard helicopter. They're met by some swamp boats and a search party of some kind is afloat.

We see a guy in a (different) army search party who is ambushed by the rambo looking guy, runs away, then is captured. Then the rambo guy has a snake bite him, producing screaming. I assume he was sacrificed to #Apep.

#monsterdon

Ah, a button up shirt and a keycard. This guy swamps. #Monsterdon

(Oh no, the DVD I rented features a "theatrical version" and an "unrated version". I chose the theatrical version. I hope that's the one everyone else has on hand.)

"What, they sent a woman out here?"

Four minutes in, four minutes to first misogyny. Bleh.

#monsterdon

Okay so the swamp thing starts with an overview of a swamp. I like this; its on brand. The title narration tells us that good and evil are having a swamp battle. Or like a good guy's good dream and an evil guy's bad dream.

Then a helicopter appears, carrying a lady. She asks where the nearest place to eat is. The driver answer "back in town if you're a human or right where we land if you're a gator!" 10/10 perfect quip, no notes.

#monsterdon

If you've ever spent time in a real swamp before you probably didn't enjoy it....#monsterdon

written and directed by wes craven? okay, pardon me while i adjust my standards.

#monsterdon

& I am also too intelligent to be captured and too powerful to be destroyed while I pursue my savage dream.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon A MONSTER WAS BORN! Swamp Thing represents THE GREEN in DC comic lore. :)

"the creative genius of one man met the evil of another"

Is this a Bert and Ernie thing?

#Monsterdon

'Return' has a lower IMDB rating but I've only ever heard good things about it

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

So actual kills by Swamp Thing was 2, somewhat ameliorated by the fact that the first was an evil murderer, and the second one was an evil mastermind who hired murderers.

man Swampie's really putting the beat-down on Kid Cthulhu...

#monsterdon #WrongSwampThing

@floatybirb

Yeah, even for 1980s the dialogue could have used some pumping up.

Someone posted that Louis Jourdan suggested some script changes. If so, it would explain why his dialogue was so much better.

#Monsterdon

@rebeld shlorp shlorp shlorp provided by Jay's Meat.

#monsterdon

@floatybirb I wanted it to make me feel something but instead I am empty.

#Monsterdon

I get the impression this #monsterdon was divisive; with some people hating it and at least one person really liking it and me just kind of thinking it was okay?

Oh the sequel is on Wrong Frogs? The one with much much better monster suits. A Swamp Thing that actually looks like he does in the comics. The plot is a bit goofier, but it over all looks better.
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

too much stank

too much stank to science

too much stank

too much stank to science

#monsterdon #SwampThing

@Taweret @Cherizilla @miru @JoeWynne Actually, I’ll be at #DragonCon next week, so I'll miss it. Have fun without me!

#Monsterdon

@jonny @r343l Yeah. Isn't Beast (I know, Marvel, but still) still doing day job science to some extent?

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

I guess rich guy monster never took fencing.

#Monsterdon

So I was 9 when this movie came out. I was a very sensitive nerd. This was the first time I'd seen a monster movie where the monster was the good guy.

I spent the whole movie perplexed and tense, because every time Swamp Thing showed up, I was expecting the heel turn, when he would show his badness and kill the other good guys and gals.

#monsterdon #swampthing

OMG! That was…not…good.

So, by definition, it was perfect.

Thank you @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, @miru for the watch party, @JoeWynne for the drink recipe, and all of you for making it fun.

Until next week!

#Monsterdon

@paco sound effects AND craft services?

#Monsterdon

@r343l that's the main characters motivation, and yet they just sort of fuck off into the swamp because their hands are slightly bigger now. and how that translated into "juice that makes you more of whatever you already are" was totally lost on me #monsterdon

#monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for a lovely trip down memory lane. But I remember, perhaps, a remake too. Gotta see if I can find that one. I must have this version and the next one mixed up in my head. Still a great ride! Thank you :)

"You can go back to work again!"

[wryly] "With THESE?" [holds up almost normal hands]

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon i came late, who is this kid??

Arcane had a soft nougat filling?
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Well that was still pretty fun! Take that nostalgia. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great week Beautiful Mutants. #Monsterdon #SwampThing

roll credits!

this has been a thread for #monsterdon on "Swamp Thing" (1982)

it's aright.

#Monsterdon and #SwampThing fucks off into the swamp :D

good time everyone

special thanks to wes craven for giving us some good directing for a change :D

and of course thanks to our dear host and organizer @Taweret <3

Did they really need an excuse to have him grab her boob? I mean, it was the 80's. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Swamp Thing is realizing that It's Not Easy Being Green.

#Monsterdon

Alec. Swamp Thing. ST, darling, you really could have seen this coming.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

"I'll be your hands"

Swampy eyes the camera, hornily

#Monsterdon

*Swamp Thing walks through a Swamp while being An Thing, while carrying Cable*

*weird sword-wielding pig-headed villain pursues*

*swamp monsters fight like only two very physically capable stunt people wearing rubber suits in knee-deep water can do*

it's...

*sheds a single crystal tear*

...so beautiful

#monsterdon

@jmelesky #monsterdon

to be fair, Doc Evil was probably traumatized from being turned into a monster.

THE SWORD IN THE SWAMP

#monsterdon

mfer how is this taking so long? You know you have this power! Do the damn thing!

#Monsterdon

Excalibur! #monsterdon

I saw that one coming with the hands-on healing...

#monsterdon

"THE SWORD, THE SWORD! IT'S EXCAILIBUR! I AM ENGLANDS KING!"

#Monsterdon

Ok his healing powers now are going to be handy #monsterdon

Is she gonna get Swamp Thinged or just magic healed?

#Monsterdon

If the climax of the film is a big fight, maybe you should hire a fight choreographer? Just sayin.
#monsterdon

We be clubbin'

#Monsterdon

Now that the evil rich guy is a wookiee bat, he's decided to be mad and start smashing things. Now that swampy has his arm back, he frees agent bighair, and then Gollum appears to help them escape (presumably because he's mad that he was turned into a gollum). He leads them to a well that they escape into to return to the swamp.

Meanwhile, Evil Guy has grabbed a sword and is chasing them with it because he liked that Star Trek episode where shirtless Sulu had a sword.

#monsterdon

Anyway, Adrienne Barbeau is as soaking wet as she's ever been. Again.

#Monsterdon

She is sitting in the beautiful maiden pose.

What happened to punching guys out?

#monsterdon

I guess it isn't worth pointing out that that wasn't what Kant meant by the thing in itself much like all the other philosophy references in the movie.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret #monsterdon

the dry ice was left over from the Pink Floyd concert last week.

CLOCK WIPE!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Clock Wipe…

This has become a different and entirely worse movie

#monsterdon

Why were people ever surprised by bad DC movies

#Monsterdon

In the dungeon, Agent Big Hair has realized that Swampy is solar powered and tells him to reach for the light from the window; he does that and his arm regrows; I'm not sure why it didn't regrow earlier when they were in the sun for hours, but okay.

Meanwhile, Tea Pouring lady brings Evil Rich Guy some tea then freaks out and leaves as he starts transforming into a Different Swamp Thing that looks less like a frog man and more like an evil wookiee bat.

#monsterdon

Guess there wasn't any budget leftover for the big bad's mask

#Monsterdon

Swamp Thing be like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0rt2dlfhbk

#Monsterdon

"You have to twist it to the right, then to the left."

...so It's a doorknob?

#monsterdon

lol, Arcane really regretting everything now, going to run around with a sword for reasons....

#Monsterdon

oh man i do not think laughter was the intended effect of that new villain suit

#monsterdon #SwampThing

lol @ Arcane's new face

#Monsterdon

@SRLevine @plaidtron3000 Well I'm not a physicist, but I assume that in the wolf dimension the energy is transmuted into wolf floof, and in the swamp dimension the energy is transmuted into like... moss or something? slime? maybe frogs?

#monsterdon

Movie, the essence of bad dude here is definitely not hair and sword

#monsterdon

I AM GROOT

#Monsterdon

@paco @SnoopJ Adrienne Barbeau is more than boobs!

#Monsterdon

*villain doses an Erlenmeyer flask of glowing green Dr. Holland's Formula™ formula into what looks like a pewter Nick & Nora cocktail glass*

oh come on, at least use a nonreactive vessel

#monsterdon

Nice practical effects
#monsterdon

He needs to photosynthesize?
Can this plot get more ad-hoc
#monsterdon

lol, Arcane sitting there like the expensive drugs he purchased didn't work...

...oh wait, it's given him "King Charles Hands!"

#Monsterdon

yeah, go ahead sir, i do love me a movie where the villain's hubris destroys him.

#monsterdon

ok, the fingers changing while he looked at them was a good shot.

#monsterdon

@catzilla Arguably it was a good thing for Indiana Jones

#Monsterdon

I wonder what movie this villain thinks he's in

#Monsterdon

he's gonna drink the glowstick isn't he

#Monsterdon

"Louis Jordan takes LSD"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Funny little thread of intertextual fun here. This green glowing goo could be seen, if you squint just right, as the same stuff that Dr. Erskine developed that made Marvel's Red Skull and Captain America. It makes you more of what you already were.

I mean, if Big Bad took the formula, it'd turn him into PURE EVIL!

and that would be a different movie.

#monsterdon

The party kind of died once Bruno was poisoned and transformed into a gnome
The guests were expecting Swinging.

#Monsterdon

Oh no, the villain clandestinely dosed the mercenary Bruno with Holland's plant formula at the opulent post-operation victory dinner! Bruno seems to not be enjoying the effects: he falls under the table, only to emerge a moment later... transformed into a goblin..? (I think he was supposed to be one of those possum-like diggers from Cable's first scene entering the lab?)

Interesting that the physical transformation diminished his stature by ~1/3 and also shrunk his clothes.

#monsterdon

"It's every man for himself, and God against all."

Ah, a maltheist, like myself.

#monsterdon #swampthing

So if you bathe in swamp, do you come out cleaner? #Monsterdon

Okay, so the formula works in terms of getting you STR and CON based off of your INT and WIL.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

This movie is ahead of its time, a prequel to “ Honey I shrunk the Kids”
#monsterdon

I like how the formula tailored Bruno's clothes

#Monsterdon

There is a lot more frontal nudity in this film than I was expecting. (The amount I was expecting was: none. More fool I.)

#monsterdon

okay that's a hilarious party prank

#Monsterdon

The (Chekhov's?) gun on the table in front of the empty chair is an excellent touch. #Monsterdon

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I looked down at my phone and looked up again to see boobs while watching this movie, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
#Monsterdon

Okay these nipples are somehow more obscene

#Monsterdon

Oh wow this is basically the same sexualizing costume from ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK

#Monsterdon

They should've shot this party scene like it was in Goodfellas.

#Monsterdon

"Cheers!"

"Great. Now you have all consumed the Kool-Aid..." 😬 😬 😬

#monsterdon

Again, I can believe a rich people's party in Louisiana would have somebody tied to a chair at the dinner table and nobody have a problem with that.

#Monsterdon