What in the TEMU Commando was that scene? #monsterdon

our first wes craven tilm I'm pretty sure

#Monsterdon

"Was it real?"

"You'll find out in 9 months."

#monsterdon #WrongSwampThing

@guyjantic oh this needs to be a checkbox

#monsterdon #SwampThing

That was wholesome goofy fun! Better than I expected, all things considered.

Truly, tonight Swamp Thing made all our hearts sing
and made everything
groovy
Swamp Thing: I think I love you

#monsterdon

Jude shows up! Cable and Jude watch Swamp Thing walk away. He's taking a really long time to walk away.

And credits! That's a wreck!! Swamp Thing fucks off into the s̶e̶a̶ swamp, Jude and Cable... presumably eventually leave the swamp? The agency behind the villain is presumed to implode in the absence of its senior leadership?

That was hilarious and goopy! Thank you for hosting, @Taweret ! Thank you for the bingo card, @Cherizilla !

#monsterdon

And so we bid farewell you the movie, the players, Sawmp Thing's ass, and the Island of Dr Moreau... We are gonna watch that soon aren't we?
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Disappointingly close to bingo, but no banana (or, some swamp fruit) 😢

#Monsterdon

Sound effects by "Jay's Meat & Provision Co."!?

#monsterdon #swampthing1982

I like there is a special shout out to the person who made Adrienne Barbeau's 'Hostage Gown'

#Monsterdon

swampy carries Agent Big Hair a little bit and pets her, then leaves to go live in the swamp, instead of, I dunno, going back to human society and being a famous swamp monster + scientist. Okay, maybe not the choice I would have made there.

He tells her to tell his story. The gas station boy appears to um... I dunno help her get to the next gas station. Then credits.

#monsterdon

*Swamp Thing heals Cable's sword-inflicted chest wound with the Power of Plant*

"Alec, what is it?" [ed: Alec? Alex?]

"It's over."

Yaaaaaaaaay it's over!

Oh no wait there's more dialogue

#monsterdon

Just don't tell our story to Wes Craven. God knows what he'd do.

"...What?! I didn't catch that!"

*Star-shaped wipe transition*

#Monsterdon

Just stand behind me in the lab and use my boobs like a game controller, and I'll be your hands, it'll work fine

#monsterdon

c'mon swamp thing, use Cure Light Wounds again.

#monsterdon

Jude:

Skilled with malfunctioning machinery
Able to get out of tough situations
Knows about bookies
Completely unfazed by gigantic, ultra-strong, moss-covered green monsters from the swamp
Good with boats
Strong glasses game
#Monsterdon

and here it is, the knock-down drag-out monster fight we've been waiting for!

#monsterdon

She is dry AGAIN 🙄 #monsterdon

#monsterdon Note to self : Do not install secret unlocking candlestick in the dungeon.

who put all this dry ice in the swamp

#Monsterdon

Remember, this is the essence of Bruno. He was always like this. You remember that, right?

#Monsterdon

Little Swamp of Horrors

#monsterdon

Bruno got polite and soft spoken ?!

#monsterdon

Swamp Thing grows a little camera from his arm, takes a photo of Cable and says “Haven’t you ever heard of PHOTO-synthesis?”
#monsterdon

Whoa! It turned him into a Cenobite!

#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero #monsterdon

what we got
what we got

what's your essence gonna BE, Big Bad?

#monsterdon

so, once again, I'm thinking...

hubris.

A MANSION FULL of hubris.

#monsterdon

Doesn't anyone in this movie have a regular name?

#Monsterdon

@arrjay Dr Strangelove from a different perspective? #Monsterdon

Swampie should be like: "I dunno, I'm not acquainted with any geniuses" and stare straight at Dr Evil.

#monsterdon

One of my favorite features of a movie is when I have no idea where any of the locations are in relation to any other location

#monsterdon

My mom, after Bruno transforms: "We don't talk about Bruno!"

#monsterdon #swampthing

oh he tiny now

#Monsterdon

We had high hopes for you, Bruno. But you disappoint us. BOO.

#MONSTERDON

@Binder Run’s house?

#Monsterdon

Uh, when did this turn into a softcore porn movie? I didn't sign up for this...

#Monsterdon

the militia are high society guys now and the rest of the high society is down to just hang with a woman tied up with big cartoon ropes? when are they going to toast "to evil" #monsterdon

Oh my god someone please put this villian's awful dialogue out of our misery

#monsterdon

Ooh, I am digging Arcane’s dinner jacket in this scene. #Monsterdon

They put the bandana on the chair lol #monsterdon #TheSwampThing

and CURTAIN CUT!

#monsterdon

@apLundell That is how you get leeches in unmentionable places. D:

#monsterdon #SwampThing

"The only way out is through.... the credits scene. Good luck"

#monsterdon

@jonny
I thought it was neat. 😆

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

...how did Cable manage to take a swim in the swamp without getting her hair wet?? Why is there frontal nudity in this scene?? This doesn't make any sense.

*camera pans away from Cable frolicking naked in the swamp to Swamp Thing just, like, staring at her. Like a creeper. A creepy creeper, not a vine creeper.*

COME ON

#monsterdon

A. That orchid almost covered the censorable bits
B. leeches. Leeches. You're bathing in a swamp. Leeches. LEECHES.
#Monsterdon

Totally necessary bathing shot, obviously....

#Monsterdon

nipple scene!

#monsterdon

@Binder
I think it's not so much that she's spectacularly bad ass as she's willing to fight. They're just bigger than she is and there are more of them so they win if she can't get away.
#monsterdon

This is decently paced. It doesn't just drag on. #monsterdon

Sponsored by Heinz

#Monsterdon

Good job swamp thing you distracted her from the guy that was attacking her so he could sneak up and hit her with a machete, you hero you

#monsterdon

*punches guy in crotch, swims for the river bank

she don't need no man

#Monsterdon

He's got the glowing hug of resurrection

#monsterdon

Swamp Bending! #MONSTERDON

@jonny Pretty sure those are to give it a comic book feel. #Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure swamp thing hasn't actually killed anyone yet, somehow.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

SWAMP BOAT GASOLINE EXPLOSION!

I think they're using up their whole trope budget at the 2/3 mark!

#monsterdon

The rambos summon two more boats to chase the swamp thing. I am liking all the boats in this movie. We get the rowboats, the motorboat with a machine gun, and two of those boats with the propeller on them. All of them try to fight the swamp thing, shooting it with machineguns and grenades. When they combine their firepower it hurts the swamp thing who yells "URRGGGHH!" and "AARRGH!" as he fails his arms in the air amidst the explosions.

#monsterdon

@nsmckinnon OK, so is he about to host Mock The Swamp Week, or is he going to tell us about the night sky?

#monsterdon

"SHEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

It took me a while to figure out what exactly my problem is with the Swamp Thing's face, but I think I got there:

He looks like a green Dara Ó Briain.

#Monsterdon

Wilhelm Scream!
#monsterdon

Wilhelm scream!

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

While Swamp Thing ponders a flower tree and has feelings, Agent Big Hair and the Gas Station Boy escape, the former having retrieved the crucial Seventh Notebook, which she plans to return to Washington.

Then the escapees a boat with three rambos on it. Unlike the other boats it has a motor and also a machinegun. But the Swamp Thing also spots it and they start chasing the Swamp Thing, while the not-rambo boat gets away.

#monsterdon

That boat jump had huge Knight Rider / TV action show vibes.

#monsterdon

"...we got him cornered!"
"Swamps don't have corners."

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

50 cal mounted on an aluminum dinghy sounds like a formula for disaster

#monsterdon

Is Swamp Thing after the coffee again

It's, like, its fourth cup today

#Monsterdon

Sad Swamp Thing

#Monsterdon

I like this kid. He has exhibited more wisdom than anyone else in the movie. #monsterdon

Okay, fair, if I had unexpectedly turned into a swamp thing I would probably stand around in the swamp gesturing and shouting

#monsterdon

guy I knew - who was exploded to death last night, but sure is beautiful out here

#monsterdon

Now, Jude is a gondolier.

“Could you call ‘im? Maybe he could come and get you?”

Seriously. Jude is the best character and actor in this entire film.

#Monsterdon

Kid, who is looking after the shop while you're babysitting this white lady?

#Monsterdon

Which one of you has already tried using "one of those abdominal snowmen" as a display name?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Jude is the best character. Too bad that kid didn't do anything after this.

He's smoking a Virginia Slim
#monsterdon

evil rich guys are smoking american spirit 100000s #monsterdon

@GramrgednAngel ty! #Monsterdon

"Jude what are you doing here?"

"Running away from the Nostro.... I mean, the gas station"

#monsterdon

My favorite character:

✅ practical clothing
✅ has spare change
✅ can adapt when swamp phone booth doesn't work

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Turn around. In the most dangerous way possible."

nuthin works in the swamp especially phones

#monsterdon

After all that, she has a quarter in her back pocket?
#monsterdon

How do we keep making horror movies without the plot contrivance of payphones?

#monsterdon

After the rambos fail at murder, we switch to a new set, the Rich Person House, where the evil rich guy is doing evil rich guy things, assisted by a Tea Pouring Assistant who looks uncomfortable with her job; I would be uncomfortable if my job was to pour tea for evil rich guys.

He gives an evil villain speech as he looks over the science notes and the Tea Assistant is like "you will rule the world sir!" I'm not sure if this is genuine admiration or fear.

#monsterdon

MONSTER ROAR

I think? Something frightened off that flock of birds, at least.

Oh man, a telephone booth! Remember those??

#monsterdon

"Here comes (White) trouble"

The kid is wise.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon You'd think you'd need some time to get used to being a swamp thing.

I'm trying to come up with a scenario in which the twigs on the commandos' hats are actually going to come in useful for hiding, and drawing a blank

#monsterdon

Wow, that's a terrible rubber suit.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Killing his wife was bad enough, but trying to kill the lady he was flirting with? Too far.

Burton Cummings gets it first.

#monsterdon

These guys stormtroopers?

Can’t hit fuck all.

#Monsterdon

Get their asses, Swamp Thing

#Monsterdon

Classic monster holding girl cover shot sited!

#Monsterdon

they shoot like Stormtroopers

#Monsterdon

They're in a swamp, and there are lots of things, so I guess we've got movie title?

#monsterdon