what we got
what we got

what's your essence gonna BE, Big Bad?

#monsterdon

so, once again, I'm thinking...

hubris.

A MANSION FULL of hubris.

#monsterdon

Doesn't anyone in this movie have a regular name?

#Monsterdon

@arrjay Dr Strangelove from a different perspective? #Monsterdon

Swampie should be like: "I dunno, I'm not acquainted with any geniuses" and stare straight at Dr Evil.

#monsterdon

One of my favorite features of a movie is when I have no idea where any of the locations are in relation to any other location

#monsterdon

My mom, after Bruno transforms: "We don't talk about Bruno!"

#monsterdon #swampthing

oh he tiny now

#Monsterdon

We had high hopes for you, Bruno. But you disappoint us. BOO.

#MONSTERDON

@Binder Run’s house?

#Monsterdon

Uh, when did this turn into a softcore porn movie? I didn't sign up for this...

#Monsterdon

the militia are high society guys now and the rest of the high society is down to just hang with a woman tied up with big cartoon ropes? when are they going to toast "to evil" #monsterdon

Oh my god someone please put this villian's awful dialogue out of our misery

#monsterdon

Ooh, I am digging Arcane’s dinner jacket in this scene. #Monsterdon

They put the bandana on the chair lol #monsterdon #TheSwampThing

and CURTAIN CUT!

#monsterdon

@apLundell That is how you get leeches in unmentionable places. D:

#monsterdon #SwampThing

"The only way out is through.... the credits scene. Good luck"

#monsterdon

@jonny
I thought it was neat. 😆

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

...how did Cable manage to take a swim in the swamp without getting her hair wet?? Why is there frontal nudity in this scene?? This doesn't make any sense.

*camera pans away from Cable frolicking naked in the swamp to Swamp Thing just, like, staring at her. Like a creeper. A creepy creeper, not a vine creeper.*

COME ON

#monsterdon

A. That orchid almost covered the censorable bits
B. leeches. Leeches. You're bathing in a swamp. Leeches. LEECHES.
#Monsterdon

Totally necessary bathing shot, obviously....

#Monsterdon

nipple scene!

#monsterdon

@Binder
I think it's not so much that she's spectacularly bad ass as she's willing to fight. They're just bigger than she is and there are more of them so they win if she can't get away.
#monsterdon

This is decently paced. It doesn't just drag on. #monsterdon

Sponsored by Heinz

#Monsterdon

Good job swamp thing you distracted her from the guy that was attacking her so he could sneak up and hit her with a machete, you hero you

#monsterdon

*punches guy in crotch, swims for the river bank

she don't need no man

#Monsterdon

He's got the glowing hug of resurrection

#monsterdon

Swamp Bending! #MONSTERDON

@jonny Pretty sure those are to give it a comic book feel. #Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure swamp thing hasn't actually killed anyone yet, somehow.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

SWAMP BOAT GASOLINE EXPLOSION!

I think they're using up their whole trope budget at the 2/3 mark!

#monsterdon

The rambos summon two more boats to chase the swamp thing. I am liking all the boats in this movie. We get the rowboats, the motorboat with a machine gun, and two of those boats with the propeller on them. All of them try to fight the swamp thing, shooting it with machineguns and grenades. When they combine their firepower it hurts the swamp thing who yells "URRGGGHH!" and "AARRGH!" as he fails his arms in the air amidst the explosions.

#monsterdon

@nsmckinnon OK, so is he about to host Mock The Swamp Week, or is he going to tell us about the night sky?

#monsterdon

"SHEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

It took me a while to figure out what exactly my problem is with the Swamp Thing's face, but I think I got there:

He looks like a green Dara Ó Briain.

#Monsterdon

Wilhelm Scream!
#monsterdon

Wilhelm scream!

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

While Swamp Thing ponders a flower tree and has feelings, Agent Big Hair and the Gas Station Boy escape, the former having retrieved the crucial Seventh Notebook, which she plans to return to Washington.

Then the escapees a boat with three rambos on it. Unlike the other boats it has a motor and also a machinegun. But the Swamp Thing also spots it and they start chasing the Swamp Thing, while the not-rambo boat gets away.

#monsterdon

That boat jump had huge Knight Rider / TV action show vibes.

#monsterdon

"...we got him cornered!"
"Swamps don't have corners."

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

50 cal mounted on an aluminum dinghy sounds like a formula for disaster

#monsterdon

Is Swamp Thing after the coffee again

It's, like, its fourth cup today

#Monsterdon

Okay, fair, if I had unexpectedly turned into a swamp thing I would probably stand around in the swamp gesturing and shouting

#monsterdon

guy I knew - who was exploded to death last night, but sure is beautiful out here

#monsterdon

Now, Jude is a gondolier.

“Could you call ‘im? Maybe he could come and get you?”

Seriously. Jude is the best character and actor in this entire film.

#Monsterdon

Kid, who is looking after the shop while you're babysitting this white lady?

#Monsterdon

Which one of you has already tried using "one of those abdominal snowmen" as a display name?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Jude is the best character. Too bad that kid didn't do anything after this.

He's smoking a Virginia Slim
#monsterdon

evil rich guys are smoking american spirit 100000s #monsterdon

@GramrgednAngel ty! #Monsterdon

"Jude what are you doing here?"

"Running away from the Nostro.... I mean, the gas station"

#monsterdon

My favorite character:

✅ practical clothing
✅ has spare change
✅ can adapt when swamp phone booth doesn't work

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Turn around. In the most dangerous way possible."

nuthin works in the swamp especially phones

#monsterdon

After all that, she has a quarter in her back pocket?
#monsterdon

How do we keep making horror movies without the plot contrivance of payphones?

#monsterdon

After the rambos fail at murder, we switch to a new set, the Rich Person House, where the evil rich guy is doing evil rich guy things, assisted by a Tea Pouring Assistant who looks uncomfortable with her job; I would be uncomfortable if my job was to pour tea for evil rich guys.

He gives an evil villain speech as he looks over the science notes and the Tea Assistant is like "you will rule the world sir!" I'm not sure if this is genuine admiration or fear.

#monsterdon

MONSTER ROAR

I think? Something frightened off that flock of birds, at least.

Oh man, a telephone booth! Remember those??

#monsterdon

"Here comes (White) trouble"

The kid is wise.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon You'd think you'd need some time to get used to being a swamp thing.

Wow, that's a terrible rubber suit.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Killing his wife was bad enough, but trying to kill the lady he was flirting with? Too far.

Burton Cummings gets it first.

#monsterdon

Get their asses, Swamp Thing

#Monsterdon

Classic monster holding girl cover shot sited!

#Monsterdon

They're in a swamp, and there are lots of things, so I guess we've got movie title?

#monsterdon

I was wondering when someone would drop a beaker of boom juice.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

@allanb in that order

it's important

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We've got the #SuddenStringSection popping up. That humidity is a killer on all that varnished wood and strings, the rosin sticking to EVERYTHING. What a nightmare! And the fancy suits! The baton! Growing a sprig of pine needles! Oh the Humanity! ;)

I think that wipe had teeth.

#Monsterdon

it's weird to have a movie with reasonable pacing in #monsterdon. we are 1/3 of the way in and we have a whole exposition and are about to get a monster. i think, in general. in the structuralist tradition of monster movie analysis, introducing the monster at the 1/3 mark is one of the two stable modes of monster introduction, the other being immediately at the start. #monstrerdon

This is some comic book lighting and explosions

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

Was the Ritter mask strictly necessary? #monsterdon

@jivens classic of the genre #Monsterdon

Oh dang, it’s Mission Impossible masks!!! #Monsterdon

but outside something is amiss and agent big hair wanders into the surveillance cabin to see the butler guy being shot. then she is attacked by rambos. the camp is overrun with rambos. she escapes from them by punching them, because she took a level of monk.

as that is insufficient, she steals a rambo gun and shoots one, then they capture her by pointing multiple guns at her and break into the greenhouse garage.

#monsterdon

These very smart scientists don’t wear gloves or goggles #monsterdon

We find the source of the explosions, while the slutty boy scientist was trying to slut, the girl scientist had synthesized explosive goo from the moss possum, which she demonstrates by throwing some against a metal plate so it explodes.

Agent Big Hair accuses the boy scientist of using his science powers for warfare. He explains he's trying to feed people by making a swamp animal or something that people can eat.

#monsterdon

Yes, desert tomatoes.

Also, 2001 came and went and we have so much corn we also burn some of it in our cars

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

"...a plant for the 21 century. I think I'll name it Audrey."

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Reinvent nitro?

Do they mean nitroglycerine?

Something was very wrong with those chemical structures in his notebook, but I didn't get a good enough look and can't rewind what with using the miru stream to sync up since i started late.

#Monsterdon

i'm digging the radio shack monitor

#monsterdon

Plausible lab notebook

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

he's writing it down! it actually is science!

#monsterdon #SwampThing

As someone who is related to a lot of other Dr. Levine's I empathize with "a Dr. Holland".

(and yes, this includes one of my siblings, if you know an S. Levine with a PhD in cognitive science good chance you know her)

#Monsterdon

Why is the water glowing green?

#Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

#monsterdon Definitely get a gay vibe with the park ranger. He kinda has a thing for Alec.

If you're weed is causing explosions then you're actually cooking meth and playing a whole different ball game....

#Monsterdon

Yorkshire Dundee gives her "broken stair" warning

#Monsterdon

They put a bunch of electronics in a plastic ball at the end of a spear stuck in the swamp because?????? #monsterdon

During their boat date, we learn that the big hair lady is replacing someone for this swamp lab gig. They go for a walk and he warns her of quicksand and then gives her a flower and tries to seduce her with some bullshit about how sexy meat is. She tells him to "save the malarky for your wife!" which is a nice way to get him to shut up.

We learn the date was nominally a sensor checking exercise in which they check the sensor (which is a beach ball on a pole).

#monsterdon

🎶 Swap thing, bum duh bum,
🎶 You make my heart sing, whoa oh
🎶 You make everyyyyyything groovvvyyyyy

#monsterdon

"romp in the bush"

That's British for "Fucking"

#Monsterdon

Find yourself a lady that uses words like malarkey

#Monsterdon

...Dr. Holland's Opus?

#monsterdon

Quicksand. The element most movies are missing. #monsterdon

The logistics of supplying this place could probably fill an entire second movie. #Monsterdon