Cavemen.... IIIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

So pissed Masers not on my Bingo card #monsterdon

Awwwwww, he's so young!

#Monsterdon #DavidHasslehoff

Oh cool, this on-location filming in the Italian landscape is pretty entertaining.

The volcanic landscape is pretty cool.

#monsterdon

It's Mr. Roboto!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

CHROME ZARDOZ! YOU'VE SAVED ME!

#monsterdon #starcrash

OH NO. ITS THE RED THINGS FROM SCENE 3. Ready your antihistamine!!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

these space cave men are my favorites so far

Turns out she did have to worry about him.
#monsterdon

Advancing to the next planet, the GenX Kestral is attacked by the evil weapon, which turns things red and causes everyone to shatner inside the spaceship. But because the evil weapon only works on creatures below 4HD, the main characters survive and their ship doesn't explode.

Again we send the robocop and the smuggler girl to the planet, which is made of rocks and steam. The girl gets a goofy outfit for each planet, so she's wearing some kind of beekeeper raincoat now.

#monsterdon

Loving the caveman/manosphere mumbling of these beings

#Monsterdon

The most powerful weapon in the entire galaxy is a migraine headache?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Why the fuck not land in the crater then?
#monsterdon

Momentarily sidetracked by an unrelated conversation about my history of drug abuse and dropping out of art school

#monsterdon

They did some pretty interesting location shots for a cheapo movie...

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"Ah! I hate it inside this lava lamp!"

You know, I actually don't hate this style of special effects.

#Monsterdon

Oh no! Interstellar Bubble Tea!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

The thawing process for Stella also resulted in a very nice blow-dry.

#monsterdon

@hollie What doesn't kill you, can't make you suffer through a one piece. #Monsterdon

Oh god. Did he just say "the main engines will not faar?"

I just... I want to hurt this robot so much.

#Monsterdon

What's that smell?
#monsterdon

Comes back from the dead with fabulous hair and eye liner...

#Monsterdon

@apLundell maybe instead of centigrade they use milligrade

#monsterdon

@strangefour #RaisesHandSlowly ... I, I'm a robot?!... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "FINSH HIM!"

#monsterdon Jackie Chan, eat your heart out..

@CactuarJoe the robot replied "you're nice and I respect you"... stella tried FLIRT, it's not very effective #monsterdon

@nev Remember directors stay in school, at least through high school! #Monsterdon

Why does the robot talk like a Texan? So many questions.
#monsterdon

so... the robot is gonna keep her heart beating through the subzero temps by... holding her hand? okay. #monsterdon

what the fuck is every word of dialogue and what are they doing in the snow #monsterdon

She’s changed into her formal pointless pointy collar #monsterdon

Oh good. Art Garfunkel is dead.

#monsterdon

We're gonna freeze to death so let's make snow angels #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

why is she wearing high heeled boots in the snow????

I hope Stella Star and Elle become an item....

"now is the time to use your ancient system of prayer"

#Monsterdon

oh yes, what a shock, the space-cop betrayed us. shocking, yes indeed. #monsterdon

I guess this planet has thousand-mile-per-hour winds to go with the thousand-degree temperature drops

#Monsterdon

I hate the robot a little bit.

#monsterdon

Why do I love "I am not programmed for this malfunction" so much?

#monsterdon
#Starcrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

I am also not programmed for this malfunction

"...I'm sorry Thor, I can't do that"

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Friggen Lucas ripped them off. Hoth. #Monsterdon

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN YET EN----.........[sighs]

#monsterdon #starcrash

Never trust the green dude!
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Were you out on the lake with your brain? Uh, no..

What if Kermit the Frog had ears?

#monsterdon

Heat capacity does not work like that.

(Also, it's more plausible to have a temperature spike fry everyone. Hence why other movies do that)

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

all the best movies have the characters tell you what just happened so you don't get confused

WHat the hell was that little roll in the sand accomplishing? Other than the saddest fan service ever? #monsterdon

"One more!"

...

"We're down from six to five!"

Oh come on, please at least count consistently

#monsterdon

"...don't get cocky kid!"

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

@diazona #monsterdon Because they didn't say "starboard". (or is it "port"?)

Clearly the definition of "one" in this universe is unfamiliar to us

#Monsterdon

Stop motion giant robot with nipples was a choice

#monsterdon

We have „We have Star Wars at home“ at home. #monsterdon #starcrash

As the computers run everything the human crew just bark out "FIRE!" a lot to feel like they're in control

#Monsterdon

"Hard lateral right!"

You'd think one of the spaceships might turn after that

but nope

#Monsterdon

In a movie with better effects and plot, the ship providing fire support/big damn heroes moment would be great.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Bechdel test fail. They talked about a man. I was expecting it to pass, considering how conservative their costumes are. #monsterdon

Well, that was stupid. A giant robot with a sword?
#monsterdon

Joan Jett's film debut

#monsterdon

Damn. „A dinosaur sequence was filmed, but deleted.“ #monsterdon #trivia

okay, giant beach robot is kinda cool tho. #monsterdon

special effects by RAY HARRYHAUSEN's unpaid intern

#monsterdon

I need to call out that the space amazons use goofy anime gestures whenever communicating everything, which I respect.

#monsterdon

lol the door wasn't even closed before she started ordering people around, that was hilarious. #monsterdon

@paco barely clothed fetish, in this case

#Monsterdon

Amazons - ok

yay more bikini-clad women!

#monsterdon

Take my revenge... please!

#Monsterdon

Love that ray gun, very goth :D #Monsterdon

Music video directors in the 80s liked to pretend that this was how bondage weirdos dressed

#monsterdon

Of course! Amazons on horseback! In this SPACE MOVIE.

#monsterdon #starcrash

How can you look at a shiny brand new thing and just declare "must be an antique"?

#Monsterdon

Okay, so the smuggler boy did some astronomy juggling and the spaceship teleported to a beach planet, hence the space bikini. The smuggler girl and robocop take a glass shuttle to the beach to look for a super weapon or something; they find another crashed launch I think.

#monsterdon

"What's that"
"I don't know"
"Seems to be a curtain rod"

#monsterdon

You MANIACS! You BLEW IT UP! #Monsterdon #Starcrash

@hollie 😂

#Monsterdon

i’ve heard of robotaxis but this is ridiculous! #monsterdon

Nuclar! #Monsterdon

Whoa - on location. Budget took a turn for the pricey.

#monsterdon

I need the robot to shut up

#Monsterdon

OH MY GOD THE SUBTITLES SAID "CUNT" INSTEAD OF "COUNT".

TWICE!

We backed it up to double check. This is the best closed captioning ever.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Shoutout to L's actor, those stairs look perilous for a man covered in plastic and EVA foam rubber. #Monsterdon

Surprise Attack of the Count, the name of my next vampire-themed visual kei band. #monsterdon

why is stella still in her prison bikini...

#monsterdon

The evil Count Zsa Zsa? From Green Acres?

#monsterdon

Who the hell takes assignments from a hologram?
#monsterdon

Not me who dreams of looking at holographic starmaps and going on adventures.....nope....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

I don't think that coral was the right color for her lipstick, she's more of a winter

I do like this phrase "The Haunted Stars" for the further reaches of space.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

"There is his hole-o-graffic image"

#monsterdon

This guy is where the budget went probably

#monsterdon

I like how all the dialogue was done in one take, by voice actors who'd never seen the script before and were not English speakers

#monsterdon

Why does the imperial flagship look like a building? Is this some 40k nonsense?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Stellllaa!

#monsterdon

That raygun is as stupidly shaped as an 80s hairmetal guitar

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Model effects that 60s Doctor Who would've be proud of.

Also, Jerry Goldsmith wants his Star Trek TMP music back...

Redneck robot?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash