@ricci #monsterdon oooh thanks, lel, that must have been while I was getting a snack.

@ricci only if it was tilted back and scrolling away, that's the only way to do exposition #monsterdon

Roger Corman did know how to cut, apparently

#Monsterdon

@jonny no that was in there, Akton was very excited about it #monsterdon

@jonny on the origin of words see Sheidlower ed., "Historical Dictionary of Science Fiction" https://sfdictionary.com/ #monsterdon

@jivens @paco @floatybirb @steggy it's simple mathematics. #Monsterdon

@ricci @Lazarou @jivens "New groove." The emperor must always bring a new groove to the throne or face being overthrown by someone else who can.

#monsterdon #starcrash

@diazona @strangefour genuinely, it didn't have a wookie uncle cracking one off in front of the holo-television....

#Monsterdon

Extra scenes start ..... NOW

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb As @steggy said: they managed to both overact and underact at the same time.
#monsterdon

@strangefour Oh, the closed captions on @ryan 's stream kept spelling the robot's name "Elle" which I enjoyed along with the cornball Southern accent. #Monsterdon #StarCrash

@kcarr2015 classic theme tune, fun film. That also, packed a lot of things (psychic robots!?) into it, but coherently.

#Monsterdon #TheBlackHole

@strangefour i mean technically the worst star wars movie is the Wookiee Life Day Special

#monsterdon

@foolishowl ...3 4 5 ah ah ah! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon round 2: Electric Deleted Scenes Boogaloo in T -5 minutes

@yatsu they should remake bad movies that had character, take a gamble (Hollywood never would now)

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou #monsterdon They should have resurrected it, but with a Bostonian accent or something.

And so, the authoritarian empire with hereditary royalty that maintains its power through a draconian justice system and overwhelming military prowess were the good guys. Also, a cop saved the day multiple times. No ideology here #monsterdon

"If I could turrrrn back tiiiimeee🎶 " STOP IT! #Monsterdon

I wish Message From Space was available in more places than just archive and questionable uploads on youtube so we could watch that next as a compare and contrast of Star Wars rip offs.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

"The stars are clear; the planets shine; we have won." is now my new email signoff.

Thank you everyone for a pleasant evening!

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie it won't last with Imperial Simon, she should have stuck with Elle #Monsterdon

Kinda sad they didn’t tell us if Stella got her groove back.

#Monsterdon

Well that's one way to stop time

I don't think I have ever seen such a chasm between how bad the movie is and how enjoyable the viewing experience is. Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everyone for posting!

#Monsterdon

The wheel? What wheel? The Wheel of Time? Wheel of Fortune?
IT'S OVER!
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Was there a monster in that movie?

#monsterdon

@ricci omg i didn't know about these! i'm not sure i can take another... 36 MINUTES?! of it 😆 #monsterdon

@jadebees #monsterdon The Crashed City had an Apple Genius Bar.

So like... airlocks?
No? No on the airlocks?
Sure, k. Hardly the biggest issue with this movie.

#monsterdon

The giant hand really should have given the middle finger right before it finally exploded.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

@ricci ooooh yes I am in

#Monsterdon

Oh no I've seen that bubble-headed spacesuit before

#monsterdon #starcrash

@ricci set a time to start the deleted scenes i want to fuckin see these things lets gooooo #monsterdon

#monsterdon So, Acton and Stella Star were just two rando smugglers who were caught and sentenced to hard labor. That's how the film started, right?

Yes, yes, having an emperor that's poetic is nice. Unfortunately there wasn't a plot for him to give that speach to.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

That truly was a unique and special event, thank you all for sharing it with me....

#Monsterdon

The flying city crashes into the blue claw thing and explodes, as the count does over the top villain gestures.

The smuggler girl reunites with the prince and we get a few minutes of them saying "Simon? Stella? Simon? Stella?" Then the emperor does a melodramatic monologue about how there might be a sequel later.

Roll Credits.

#monsterdon

"well it's done, it's happened" roll CREDITSA BABY #monsterdon

#monsterdon We're over here.. waves.. in a huge space abyss...

Stella! Stella!
#astreetcarnameddesire
#monsterdon

Tonight on #Monsterdon, Christopher Plummer got a free trip to Rome, the chance to flaunt a gear costume, and three days of hanging out with a chick in a space unitard

Shoutout to the bargain basement fireworks they blew the ship up with :D #Monsterdon

Wah - our Tubi feed crashed. Haven't see than before.

Reloading.

#monsterdon

Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? (They do)

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

@mmezabet Dangit! #Monsterdon

lol, love how they just jumped out into Space and somehow that gets them away from the explosion....

#Monsterdon

Imagine if Elric or Zoltan had characterization

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Wait is he the emperor of subaru?
(Look behind his throne) #monsterdon

"My lord?"

"Yes Eric?"

#Monsterdon

@Taweret they're the fundamental particle of this universe

everything is made of them

#monsterdon #starcrash

Title Drop has a meaning?
Wait this movie is a suicide mission?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

The prince and the smuggler girl go to the floating city, which has thoughfully been evacuated before hand so it can be turned into a flying kamikaze bomb. Also, the robocop from before has been resurrected so we can use southern accents more.

#monsterdon

"I've never flown a city before." A line that deserves a much better movie. #monsterdon

fuck this movie

#monsterdon

I have never known what was happening in this movie

#monsterdon

Waiting for the scene where Christopher Plummer rips up the evil dude's flag.

He does that in every movie, no?

#monsterdon

Wait a minute, so the breaching torpedos are sorta badass except somehow they don't cause loss of air pressure? #monsterdon

I don't understand what's happening again. Is that a forebear of the Borg, but blue? What's all this damn shooting about. Who's zooming who??

#Monsterdon

I need to take a second before this is all over to appreciate the STARCRASH logo font.

Aaaand I'm done.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I kind of like how prescient this movie is, the villain is really more Kylo Ren than Darth Vader

#Monsterdon

Pew pew
pew
pew

pew pew pew pew pew
pew
pew
pew

pew.
#monsterdon

Outside the confusing space battle continues; the blue claw is using its own fighters to I guess shoot down the boarding pods? Or maybe they're torpedoes? I don't know what's going on?

Anyway, I was kind of hoping the amazons would show up, but they have not. But the Evil Count gets more mook reinforcements and they defeat the boarding party, making the Good Emperor sad.

#monsterdon

Idk just doin some space feudalism generally

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

They got the concept of what attacking a giant battle ship should be, but do not understand how to execute the editing for a basic aerial combat
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

That battle was so good, suck it Starwars

#Monsterdon

That flat shot of Hoff, Emperor Plummer and Stella Fanservice would be a fun cosplay re-enactment

Up there with the Schick Evangelion shaving ad

#Monsterdon

I love how unlike modern warfare, nobody really takes cover here....

Well the golden dildo raid didn't work then....

#Monsterdon

The sun never sets… in space.

#Monsterdon

I was kinda hoping that was the end of the movie. #monsterdon

This gun is just awesome.
#monsterdon

Everyone take the slidey-pole exit to get off the catwalk!

Why are we all on a catwalk in the first place?

So we can take the slidey-pole!

#monsterdon

They'll never see it coming! Because it's an intensely stupid idea! #Monsterdon

Torpedoes don't- you know what, I'll accept it.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#monsterdon Space torpedoes.. and no explosive decompression is STUPID..

A lot of people were told "Just stand there and display no emotion."

#monsterdon

The men's costumes all focus to the groinular region and then have no real followthrough in the bulging sense. Zero stars. #monsterdon

The only human-like friend she ever had 😂

#Monsterdon

pew pew pew
pew pa pew pew pew
KILL THEM
pew pew pa pa pew pew

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot #monsterdon Probably just as good. The actor wasn't exactly nailing it.

"No, we're not dragging the camera past a miniature for these shots. D-don't be silly..." #Monsterdon

We get a launch viper scene as the Emperor's flagship or something launches a bunch of golden space jets while the emperor sits on his chair.

Then we cut to the rectangle claw ship where the Count announces this he will win this ensuing space battle with the level of ham that the audience would expect.

#monsterdon

He disappeared in a pile of lissajous figures! #monsterdon

they call that ship "The High Five" #monsterdon

Launch every model!!!! #monsterdon

The last 20 minutes of the film are just footage of these Micro Machines being thrown out an airlock. #Monsterdon

AKTON! Use one of your many poorly defined powers to heal yourself! #monsterdon

Imagine if they did this space battle with modern effects, bless.....

#Monsterdon

Delayed planet explosion like, "Now? ...Now? What about now. ...NNNnnnnow? Look, I'm just gonna do it." #Monsterdon

also HALT THE FLOW OF TIME

omgbbqwtf 🤦 🤦 🤦

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Time will flow once again, and everything will EXPLODE!!!!!

“Halt the flow of time!”

Everyone hit pause.

#Monsterdon

Nice how you can command your battleship IN SPACE by just shouting

#Monsterdon

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut

#monsterdon #starcrash

I wish I had an Imperial Battleship that could the flow of time.....

BOOM goes the purple planet...for reasons.

#Monsterdon

SOMEONE HAND HIM A GUITAR

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I forgot the prevalence of those kind of perms in every show.

#Monsterdon

@ramsey #monsterdon To get out of this movie without ruining his career.

The boy smuggler draws his light saber and beings a sword fight with the stop motion robots; unlike real lightsabers these are movie lightsabers and so cannot cut through steel swords.

One of the robots stabs the boy smuggler and so the prince must take up the light saber; they defeat the other stop motion robot by double-teaming it.

#monsterdon

Literally a flesh wound if anything, yet he dies....

#Monsterdon

I like how the lightsaber and the flimsy plastic sword just bounce off each other

Wait not "like", the other thing

#Monsterdon