"Her pulse rate is six feet"

wat

🤦

#Monsterdon

I wish I were her right now.

#monsterdon #starcrash

Apparently, Akton is rubber, an green guy is glue.

#Monsterdon

Robot dude, if you knew anything, you would have known to dig into the snow and create a shelter.

#Monsterdon

Did he just hand fart her back to life?

#Monsterdon

the solution to the bad guy was just to push his laser beams back at him? OK!?!?!?!? #monsterdon

@apLundell No one can survive deadly rays!

#Monsterdon

@socketwench Your weapons have no effect on him!!!

#Monsterdon

They need to get the Elle out of there. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

Akton is such a 50s contactee alien name.
#monsterdon

stooooop it! No one can survive these deadly rays!!

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

Okay, so to be clear... The robot saved her from freezing to death by... Letting her freeze and hoping she could be revived? Flawless logic soy-kets. #Monsterdon

Um, okay?
#monsterdon

Akton's faith healing there....

#Monsterdon

Gibbons on the soundtrack there #Monsterdon

No one can survive these deadly rays, of death, that kill people, dead.

#monsterdon

Use the force luke?

#Monsterdon

Full Price of Space levels of power.

#starcrash #monsterdon

" I am rubber you are glue"
#monsterdon

Elle? Elle? Where the elle are you?

#monsterdon #starcrash

#monsterdon #StarCrash

Those waist belts from the back side are reminiscent of really old sanitary pad devices from the '60s.

#Monsterdon Best example of I'm rubber you're glue.

are we getting in a weird sofporn between those two?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon "these deadly rays will be your death"

i dunno who wrote this script but bravo

Empire Strikes Back ripped off a load of this..

#Monsterdon

Why are they wrestling when he's obviously wearing a sidearm? #monsterdon

not making sure someone is dead when they fall down and stop moving for a second seems to be a really common problem in this universe. their weapons seem to just vaporize people entirely. maybe they are just used to death being extremely near at hand and medicine is very effective so nobody ever gets knocked out or anything #monsterdon

The robot voice really makes me Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese.

#Monsterdon

I feel like they got the guy from the "ninjy chop"/"judy chop" videos to do the fight choreo.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

@jammerb I think the ship was just lying to Green Man when it said it wasn't programmed for the malfunction. #StarCrash #Monsterdon

They should've known he was evil. His skin was different color than theirs.

#monsterdon

Akton's "Getting tough" faces are hilarious. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

that round white thingy with the holes in it reminds me of the egg thing in the lounge above the City Council chamber at Toronto City Hall

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon She has clothes on!

@jonny I think she's been awakened and realized she's a robosexual. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Subtitles said "teen policemen" instead of "tin policeman" and I gotta say, that would've been a better movie.

@mmezabet Hoff’s the robot with the hillbilly accent #Monsterdon

so much venusian judo

#monsterdon #starcrash

"I'm leaving to join Count [something] as the Prince of [something something]"

Your plan is that a Count is going to make you a Prince? Hmm

#Monsterdon

thor realizing he betrayed everyone for a fascist idiot but he has to keep fascisting because he knows no other way

#monsterdon

Neither can fight, so this fight scene might go on a while.
#Monsterdon

Our heroes knock on the door of the GenX Kestral, and the green cop responds via jitsi call, letting them know that he's evil and he won't open the door for them so they'll freeze to death when the sun goes down, and also that's he's working for the bad guy and he will soon be the prince of darkness.

Robocop volunteers to hold hands with the smuggler girl and save her via self sacrifice. I'm not sure how that works. Anyway, they each get a monologue about how cool each other are.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So, is there a reason Acton is still alive? Like a clever twist or something?

No? Ok. I guess "Somehow Acton Survived".

The Hoff IS the Sixth Doctor IN

#monsterdon #starcrash

They are terrible at killing people in this #Monsterdon

The Matrix ripped this bit off.....

#Monsterdon

His green makeup looks like he tried to wipe it off his face between takes.

#Monsterdon

These fight scene faces are LEGENDARY :< #Monsterdon

it's worse than I feared

#monsterdon

Shatner double fist punch!

#Monsterdon

Why are they lying in the snow? That's a terrible way to conserve body heat (they aren't burying themselves or anything).

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon The inconsistency with that green guy's neck make-up is bugging me.

@msh This is so damn silly #monsterdon

he's not dead yet

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

if there's an Akton clone when they wake up I swear to god

#monsterdon

So.... hand holding allows one to regulate body temperature or... uh... cryonics or...

What?

#Monsterdon

How did I miss that computer earlier?! #Monsterdon

c h i l l o u t
#monsterdon

Stella should get a dog

A dog would have had the sense to avoid being in this movie

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

This is terrible dialog. And yet... better...

#Monsterdon wait, the ship's computer talks?

Accidentially Christian

#monsterdon

“You’re the most faithful companion a woman ever had.”

“And I respect you, too, Stella.”

#Monsterdon

The stupid robot voice is going to haunt me. Ughhhhh

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

#Monsterdon "you're the most faithful companion a woman could ever have" "and i respect you too, stella"

DENIED

Elle's sore at Thor #monsterdon

"Lie down on the snow, facing up."
"Okay..."
"Now make a snow angel."

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

@amyfou can we just be grateful she is not still in the bikini

#Monsterdon

Star Star you are a TERRIBLE outlaw. Stop making nice with the cop.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon While stella is freezing her curves off on the planet's surface, Akton plays with with the electric squiggle thingy in the warm ship. Someone should really just hit him over the... ok, well there we go!

Now move your arms and legs, then get up carefully, and you'll have made snow angels!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I am not MONITORED to respond in this situation

#monsterdon #starcrash

what is going on #monsterdon

Now make a snow angel #monsterdon

*Groan* The robot is talking again.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon The computer looks like pizza dough.

"Joining the League Of Darkness" Never pegged Thor for a bowler. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

I cannot trust my own logic circuits anymore!

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

“Lie down in the snow face up.”

WTF?

#Monsterdon

"...lets make snow angels!"

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

#monsterdon FUN FACT: according to wikipedia, the guy playing Thor (the green guy) earned both a Silver Star and a Purple Heart in the Korean War. He was also an accomplished cabinet maker.

"Maybe I can save you. You lie down in the snow face up..." This scene was accidentally ripped from its own adult parody. #Monsterdon

@RamenCatholic @Aaidanbird If you take every 20s slice on its own, they have some plot I think. #monsterdon

#monsterdon The League of Darkness: "Are we the baddies?"

The ship's computer can't tell me what's wrong. What does this thing run on, Windows?

#Monsterdon

RIP Akton, you were an inconvenience

#monsterdon

"I am not programmed for this malfunction"

AI still sucks, even in a galaxy far far away.

#Monsterdon

And I’ll just climb on top of you and vibrate to keep you warm.

#Monsterdon

PRINCE OF THE LEAGUE OF DARKNESS.

Sorry, that sounds like you do all the work but get none of the credit.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

“My feet are already cold”

I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to mention feeling cold, Stella #Monsterdon

@mmezabet He hasn’t shown up yet.

#Monsterdon

Stella and Elle are getting feelings for each other?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

The malfunction is, the cow got into an onion patch.... correct...yessss #wrongmovie #Monsterdon

Is like the side mouth thing supposed to make him look more evil or something?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Female computer voice inspired by Logan's Run... "Last Day"

open the pod bay doors, thor #monsterdon

extremely confusing to name a green guy thor

#monsterdon

look, multiple moons/suns, fine, plausible. hyperspeed 1000 knot atmosphere without surface wind, not fine. pick a different weird planetary feature #monsterdon

#Monsterdon apparently this planet did _not_ take care of them

@moira murderbot would be so embarrassed of this guy. #monsterdon