Neither can fight, so this fight scene might go on a while.
#Monsterdon

thor realizing he betrayed everyone for a fascist idiot but he has to keep fascisting because he knows no other way

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So, is there a reason Acton is still alive? Like a clever twist or something?

No? Ok. I guess "Somehow Acton Survived".

The Hoff IS the Sixth Doctor IN

#monsterdon #starcrash

They are terrible at killing people in this #Monsterdon

The Matrix ripped this bit off.....

#Monsterdon

it's worse than I feared

#monsterdon

His green makeup looks like he tried to wipe it off his face between takes.

#Monsterdon

Why are they lying in the snow? That's a terrible way to conserve body heat (they aren't burying themselves or anything).

#Monsterdon

Shatner double fist punch!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon The inconsistency with that green guy's neck make-up is bugging me.

@msh This is so damn silly #monsterdon

he's not dead yet

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

if there's an Akton clone when they wake up I swear to god

#monsterdon

So.... hand holding allows one to regulate body temperature or... uh... cryonics or...

What?

#Monsterdon

How did I miss that computer earlier?! #Monsterdon

c h i l l o u t
#monsterdon

Stella should get a dog

A dog would have had the sense to avoid being in this movie

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

This is terrible dialog. And yet... better...

#Monsterdon wait, the ship's computer talks?

Accidentially Christian

#monsterdon

“You’re the most faithful companion a woman ever had.”

“And I respect you, too, Stella.”

#Monsterdon

The stupid robot voice is going to haunt me. Ughhhhh

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

#Monsterdon "you're the most faithful companion a woman could ever have" "and i respect you too, stella"

DENIED

Elle's sore at Thor #monsterdon

"Lie down on the snow, facing up."
"Okay..."
"Now make a snow angel."

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

@amyfou can we just be grateful she is not still in the bikini

#Monsterdon

Star Star you are a TERRIBLE outlaw. Stop making nice with the cop.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon While stella is freezing her curves off on the planet's surface, Akton plays with with the electric squiggle thingy in the warm ship. Someone should really just hit him over the... ok, well there we go!

Now move your arms and legs, then get up carefully, and you'll have made snow angels!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I am not MONITORED to respond in this situation

#monsterdon #starcrash

what is going on #monsterdon

Now make a snow angel #monsterdon

*Groan* The robot is talking again.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon The computer looks like pizza dough.

"Joining the League Of Darkness" Never pegged Thor for a bowler. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

I cannot trust my own logic circuits anymore!

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

"...lets make snow angels!"

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

#monsterdon FUN FACT: according to wikipedia, the guy playing Thor (the green guy) earned both a Silver Star and a Purple Heart in the Korean War. He was also an accomplished cabinet maker.

@RamenCatholic @Aaidanbird If you take every 20s slice on its own, they have some plot I think. #monsterdon

"Maybe I can save you. You lie down in the snow face up..." This scene was accidentally ripped from its own adult parody. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon The League of Darkness: "Are we the baddies?"

The ship's computer can't tell me what's wrong. What does this thing run on, Windows?

#Monsterdon

RIP Akton, you were an inconvenience

#monsterdon

"I am not programmed for this malfunction"

AI still sucks, even in a galaxy far far away.

#Monsterdon

And I’ll just climb on top of you and vibrate to keep you warm.

#Monsterdon

PRINCE OF THE LEAGUE OF DARKNESS.

Sorry, that sounds like you do all the work but get none of the credit.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

“My feet are already cold”

I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to mention feeling cold, Stella #Monsterdon

@mmezabet He hasn’t shown up yet.

#Monsterdon

Stella and Elle are getting feelings for each other?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

The malfunction is, the cow got into an onion patch.... correct...yessss #wrongmovie #Monsterdon

Is like the side mouth thing supposed to make him look more evil or something?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Female computer voice inspired by Logan's Run... "Last Day"

extremely confusing to name a green guy thor

#monsterdon

look, multiple moons/suns, fine, plausible. hyperspeed 1000 knot atmosphere without surface wind, not fine. pick a different weird planetary feature #monsterdon

#Monsterdon apparently this planet did _not_ take care of them

@moira murderbot would be so embarrassed of this guy. #monsterdon

Do I just not know who David Hasselhoff is, or has he not showed up yet? I'm honestly quite terrible at recognizing actors. (Don't get me started on Steve Vaughn.)

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I do respect that the ship's computer is named Ship's Computer, and also is a big glowing brain

#monsterdon

"Excellency" implies the baddie has the rank of bishop #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

I double dog dare any dudes here to grow this villain double-pointed goatee

this movie is now failing the ACAB test

(okay it has been for a while i just didn't realize)

#monsterdon

Oh no, the robot is talking again.

#Monsterdon

In the future(?) adults always love to play with children's toys but made of laser beams or whatever

#Monsterdon

Didn't Thor give them the ship?

#monsterdon

I wanna cyber corset.

#monsterdon #starcrash

thor?

Friend of mine had a cat named Thor once

Got stuck in a 3-sided box one time

beautiful but so stupid

nothing like this imposter at all

#monsterdon #starcrash

wait the masked robot is a COP? screw him then

#monsterdon

he is BARELY GREEN did they film this in ONE DAY front to back??? #monsterdon

"It's times like these I'm glad to be a robot."

I am always saying this.

#monsterdon #starcrash

this is why nobody likes Thor #monsterdon

Uh oh. Computer getting all Hal 9000 on the evil green guy! #Monsterdon #StarCrash

I want to know what Elle's pronouns are #monsterdon

…but you know what i say, i don’t care.

I think I’m in love #Monsterdon

Fact: 87.4% of the budget was spent on rotoscoping.

#Monsterdon

I doubted that the Pathfinder was dead for a moment, until I saw him staring unblinking into the camera for about 3 seconds too long to be comfortable. #Monsterdon

wait the ship talks too?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

is ship's computer a giant disembodied lady brain?

@Aaidanbird Makes more sense than the plot so far. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Is Curly playing with his food, his shit, or something else?

THANK YOU! Hey! Nice :D #Monsterdon

Please don't pet the big plastic brain. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

"I'll just stay here and play with myself."

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

curly robot was having fun. now he's rubbing the ship's computer

#monsterdon

Alright hair dude, the oscilloscope is not a toy!

#Monsterdon

High tech fidget spinner!

#Monsterdon

Its too cold here let's go home so I can get more naked again #Monsterdon

Tights and sleeves aren't enough, she needs to wear a knit cap if it's going to drop thousands of degrees #monsterdon

aang does this way better

#monsterdon #starcrash

#Monsterdon I'm calling this robot lol, spelled out.

Dicking around --- IN SPACE

#Monsterdon

An Ice Planet? They'll die before they reach the first marker!!

#Monsterdon

So, the temperatures could freeze your blood in like three seconds.

Very thin one layer fake mylar thingy. Not even any gloves or head coverings.

#Monsterdon

In the sequel, the robot records an album where he pretends he's a hobo

#monsterdon

"What a terrible Crash! No one could have survived it."

How meta

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon giant Amazon robot is all "imma just take a nap…"

hey now.... we don't know what temperature units they use. maybe that actually makes sense

#monsterdon

Did they explain what Akton's deal is?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

I don't know what degree you're talking about. But if it's habitable temperature and then it drops "thousands of degrees" that's a bit improbable.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon You can tell this is an ice planet, because she's wearing a shirt.