#Monsterdon The man in the pyrite mask.

This dude in the scary horror mask sounds relatively harmless.

“Aren’t you a little short for storm trooper.”

#Monsterdon

@ricci They seem like preppers #monsterdon

#Monsterdon
All my money is on the Prince in a mask.

ooh, is this a cut-rate mandalorian character?

#monsterdon

Ask your doctor if whatever they used to stop that is right for you. #monsterdon

The Hoff arrives!!! With laser eyes!
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Saved by ZARDOZ... no wait.. it's THE HOFF. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon Lava Lamp attack!

They're not as cute as Ewoks.

#Monsterdon

i'm so proud of this movie for making the cannibalistic savages white (despite using a racist trope that only exists because some white lady lied about the natives who helped her survive)

#monsterdon

Do these cavemen EVER stop muttering and jumping around

#Monsterdon

Who wrote the caveman dialog. Stellar work.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon, You may now behold the Hoff.

#starcrash

INCOMING HOFF

WE HAVE INCOMING HOFF

#Monsterdon

I feel a disturbance in the Force. I think it's gonna be Hoff!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

HEY IS THAT THE HOFF?!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

#Monsterdon The robot excels at stating the obvious.

oh I thought he was giant

#Monsterdon

52 mins and still no Michael Long :(

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the hoff?

Great, now Stella has to fight the Clan of the Cave Bear

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I dunno, hon. It might be another chauvanist.

Was it really necessary to have her face bouncing off that guy's rear end. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

Any moment now the Monolith is going to come by and Uplift them.

#Monsterdon

To the bad guys:

"Let me down! Let me down!"

"Help! Help!"

Well, that should definitely convince them.

#Monsterdon

who would win
robot: targeting computer, gun that makes enemies vaporize with one hit anywhere in the body
a bunch of cave men: a huuu aa heeyy a huu a heeyy
#monsterdon

I have questions. Like, what are they eating while she just hangs there?
#Monsterdon

I don't remember Quest for Fire having space ships.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon SPACEBALLS!

No, elle!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Elle's magic smoke has escaped, and as we all know, electronics depend on keeping the magic smoke contained #monsterdon

Theory: Stella Star is supposed to have 5 costume changes, but they didn't hava a big enough budget for more than 2 yards of pleather

#Monsterdon

Oh, she's boil-in-bag

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Cashew chairs!

Wait, so the cavemen are the equivalents of the Ewoks? #monsterdon

Robot dude said VARMINT

:ahhhhhhh:

#Monsterdon

Missing #monsterdon because we are at a #pride pageant, but I had to share with yall that I've decided my #drag/ #burlesque name would be Ivana Dump 💩

Oof, poor Caroline, spending this whole scene nose-deep in caveman butt :/ #Monsterdon

Oh no, attacked by Space Picts! #monsterdon

Are they Tellarites?

#Monsterdon #startrek

Fare thee well, L.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

parkour

parkour

parkour attack

#Monsterdon

uhh, The hoff have a mask?
#monsterdon

good lord they c3po'd that robot to pieces

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

Let’s see how many minutes he stays dead. #monsterdon

Surely the robot can't get back up from that.

Right?

Please???

#Monsterdon

I get kill the robot honestly
#monsterdon

four cavement are more effective than "the deadliest weapon in the universe" #monsterdon

#1 armored police robot
#Monsterdon

Is this our third IRL location? Nice. #Monsterdon

What are these Stone Age dudes doing here? It's a wasteland. Do they normally hang around wastelands to murder anyone they see?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

Gymkata!!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Disabling a robot is so easy a caveman could do it.

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

cave man underpants!

#Monsterdon

"Robot chauvinism"? Really?!

YES! HURT THE ROBOT!!!

#Monsterdon

"Release hher, ah say!" - Robot Foghorn Leghorn, apparently

#monsterdon #starcrash

Cavemen are upstaging everyone right now.
#Monsterdon

That saran wrap space suit looks like something they would sell at 4am on TV for weight loss in the 90s. #Monsterdon

Or will he get put back together, like C3PO? #Monsterdon #StarCrash

Curly has wild plot armor. If anything goes wrong around him, no it doesn’t

This doesn’t make any sense, but it’s definitely Plot Armoring

#Monsterdon

"It's time for some robot chauvinism."

#Monsterdon

No intelligent life on that ship! Hence why they survived the red blob attack.
#Monsterdon

This is so bad that it's hard to riff on. There's nothing to work with. Or too much

#monsterdon

wow, these cavemen can really jump, and thankfully have invented gussets

The brutal dismemberment of Elle is a little upsetting tbh. When they did it to C3PO he somehow deserved it...

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Captain Caaaaaaavemaaaaaaan!

Wonder what David Hasselhoff is up to.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

#Monsterdon

Visually, it's not so bad. But the writing and acting really are not good.

OTOH, if ALL the acting is bad, that's usually on the director.

i thought akton was a robot but now i don't know or remember what the hell his deal is

wait... oh wait i think they're trying to crib off Dune badly with a psychic space navigator?

#monsterdon

So, if you survived maybe it isn't so powerfull
#monsterdon

@jonny They gave up on saving Emperor Christopher Plummer's only begotten son (Hasselhoff?) and now are trying to find the hidden planet/moon of the Evil Count. Or maybe they think the son is on this third launch. #Monsterdon #StarCrash

They've landed at the set of Monty Python and the Holy Grail #monsterdon

@strangefour #TryingToSoundMoreHighbrow Oh I'm more interested in the bikini journey than the destination. #GetsSlapped well that's a fair cop! #Monsterdon

someone on Lemmy mentioned the "robot chauvinism" line and I thought they were kidding. #monsterdon

WE NEED HOFF, STAT!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

Ok, I think I figured it out. So, like, they were going to dub over annoying robot dude later because they wanted to do some special effects. But their time with the university's synthesizer ran out. They wanted to make the robot unique but had to use the same voice as someone else, so they decided, "hey, can you do an accent?"

And he said no.

"Well, do one anyway."

#Monsterdon

Volcano or something planet is a decent set.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

So they're not going to explain HOW they survived? Or even question it?

#Monsterdon

Flying caveman ninjas killed the southern robot! #Monsterdon #StarCrash

"Time for a little robot chauvinism" I''m so dead

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Christ, lol, if you were a chauvanist, you'd have brought hair boy along instead of her.

Zardoz?

#Monsterdon

why. is. the. robot. southern. #monsterdon

IN CRATER -- JUSTOVAR THAR

#monsterdon

@amyfou So lucky they're protected by impervious plot armor #monsterdon

Akton has all kinds of magical powers that are useful in combat, but he can see the future and he never goes out on these dangerous missions. It's a bit suspicious I'm just saying #monsterdon

oh wow Marjoe Gortner had quite the career arc. That's wild. Beatnick, actor, evangelist preacher. There's a documentary out there.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

@jonny ehhhh... comme ci, comme ca

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That defrost music is killing me!

Oh no, not the hot pink Dots of Doom again!!! #Monsterdon

can we go back to the amazons and have the robot die and just have stella hang out with them the rest of the movie?

#monsterdon

@jadebees no that's why he explained it blatantly two seconds later

#monsterdon

Lava lamps can be quite formidable if you don't have Jane Fonda there to fight them.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

He's so happy that they've survived an attack by the most powerful weapon in the entire galaxy!

The dubbing is so awkward
dubcreep
#Monsterdon

This movie has some of the worst looking spaceships I've ever seen. And I'm including those on "Spaceballs"
#monsterdon

PROBLEM SOLVED I GUESS #monsterdon #igiveup

"Defrosting the Space Pirate" sounds better than this.

#monsterdon

@blue the characters have roles!?!?! and objectives???? #monsterdon