Count about to take over the galaxy with Scooby Doo like methods
Did the Hoff call the robots βgolems?β
Doesn't this guy ever blink?? #Monsterdon #starcrash1978
#monsterdon I want the robot guards to be like the guards in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
star star go back to being an outlaw challenge
You know. The son of the emperor. Simon.
"Now it's just a matter of waiting. An hour goes by quickly" I fully want an SNL sketch where he's about to descend on an elevator that takes an hour #Monsterdon
Okay, let's try that again but MORE maniacal laughter.
#monsterdon
The Count has big cape energy #monsterdon
He looks too handsome to realize much of anything. I think that helmet cut off the oxygen to his little punum for too long. #monsterdon
More stop motion robots with swords.
Whoa, and they really bumped up Hasselhoff's make-up for this scene.
I dunno, an hour goes by very slowly if this movie's playing. #monsterdon
The count's laugh was dubbed in, right?
Ooo, Green Lightsaber now....
YES the killbots!
please end this atrocity already
Why does everyone has a bandmarking their assess?
Again, kudos to the wardrobe dept.
#monsterdon
In the beginning I didn't know who's side you where one, but now that I see we wear the same eyeliner, it's all different.
The rear projection on the stop-motion golems lmao
Space Satan is back, and he wants to destroy this planet becauseβ¦ heβs bad, I guess?
And he has it out for Christopher Plummer, which is definitely evil #Monsterdon
@brooke They should let him sing his song first #monsterdon
#Monsterdon the bad guy looks like if salvador dalΓ became a mad supervillain
Pre-programmed computers. They could run forever. π€ #Monsterdon
@arisummerland He clearly has an evil goatee. Heβs not the emperor.
@uptownsongclub just informed me that this actor is the titular maniac from the classic misogynist 80s slasher film Maniac
#monsterdon
Bad guy looks like a smaller, goofier Kurgan
"the emperor will make you pay for this" wow okay imperialist
(they're both bad! the evil guy AND the people ruling an empire!)
ok that was a great evil laugh tbh
#Monsterdon That was the stupidest maniacle laugh.
Heβs a button man who wants to be a boss.
So he is going to . . . blow up his weapon? To kill them?
@socketwench You insult Max von Sydow with the comparison
Carnival bad guys are the worst
For this scene Stella will be borrowing #Hannibal 's oversuit :)
I always called it his 'trouble suit' :D
#Monsterdon
This movie is truly awful. π
I like the countβs eyes and the way his lips move.
Gotta love the fight scenes in this. It's like Star Trek ToS fight choreography, but drunk.
#Monsterdon
Oh wait I thought weird cape guy was the emperor?
Half a quadrant is something like an hour. Okay.
Speaking of the plastic suit, wasn't that put on her by the bad guys as they captured her? Why is she still wearing it?
What was with that long, slow walk to the control panel? #Monsterdon #starcrash1978
He attended the Ming the Merciless school of acting.
this bad guy looks like a devil from a live action adult swim show
REALLY? A lightsab----- sword? #monsterdon
They sure liked this shot.It lasted way to long.
#monsterdon
Half a quadrant? That's not much time!
Guess who is here with the CAPE
Oh no he's monologuing
Look it's Prince Darth Leia again
@otheorange_tag @moira @adubya Maybe even diffie-hoffman?
Wait. I just noticed her plastic suit has a dog collar on it.
#Monsterdon
So, that's the big secret?? A datacenter?? I mean I coulda just driven to Ashburn VA. Meh
So, Akton has the Schwartz!
#monsterdon
btw, I just discovered they are making a new spaceballs to 2027 and I don't know how I feel about it.
It's the duck robots again! *Quack*! #Monsterdon #Starcrash
oh it's the stupid arrow helmet guys again π
The Dinkytron 5000s are on site again, okay
"Here's the nerve center of the entire operation - our array of tanning beds..." #monsterdon
Is this young David Hasselhoff?
Pre-programmed computers? Got it.
@wulfric thank you for your sympathies in this difficult time. i don't know how it happened! #monsterdon
#Monsterdon spoke too soon!
Pre programmed computers! So advanced unlike our lousy post-programmed garbage #Monsterdon
What good is it to be a robot when you're taken out by a bunch of low budget Neanderthals armed with old bones?
you can tell it's from before software ate the world because it was obvious that "pre-programmed computers" would run forever without maintenance #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Count Beergut makes his grand entrance.
Wait, what?
The monsters aren't real. Just mental projections in our brains.
HOW THE FREAK DID THEY BLOW UP A SHIP THEN???
Okay they lost me with the sciencey bits.
Pre-programmed computers? Impossible! What will these writers come up with next!!!
@ryan Hasselhoff was super popular in Germany, for some reason. Still is? #Monsterdon #StarCrash
@brooke new Spirit Halloween costume
This reminds me of something from Futurama.
@JigmeDatse mixture of both. seems like they did not have the budget to shoot anything more than once #monsterdon
We've got star wars, we've got charlie and the chocolate factory, now we have dwemer ruins from skyrim. What's next, fallout 4 nukes?
While Disney is busy suing AI, they should also sue Starcrash for laser sword infringement.
Turns out the sound makes half the light saber. Instead of Ben Burtt we got a squeaky toy. #monsterdon
There needs to have been an exhaust port at some point
Akton is the only important character in this movie. Nobody else serves any purpose whatsoever
@jonny@neuromatch.social I have to say, that I'm enjoying the little I'm catching. Oh, look at those effects... Great for 1929... At least some were doing as good as that. #Monsterdon
@jonny they didn't learn the most important lesson of star wars which is 'if you give the audience less they will fill in the blanks with a passion'
@moira It's Hoff by two, yeah #Monsterdon
@adubya Three Hoffs! A THREE Hoff plan!
@moira A Hoff and a spare. So to speak.
Two Hoffs. This is a two Hoff plan.
So, wait, we're nearly an hour in and this is the first she's been tied-up?
@davesdogmaggie Oh man, Akton would be the most insufferable person to have sex with. He'd be good, yeah, but he'd also be constantly *telling you how good he is* D: #Monsterdon
She changes outfits every 10 frames while the guys never leave those sweaty jump suits. #Monsterdon #Starcrash
#Monsterdon that's a big matte painting!
@msh@coales.co And it's even sized like a normal cavalry saber!
#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978
Marjoe and David have a certain chemistry between them, in the eyes... no?
I reckon Akton is in league with the phantom count...
when your costuming outshines your voice in the final audio. *squeak squeak squeak* #monsterdon
well well well... Akton finally akted #monsterdon
"I was here and I didn't even realize it" Hoff never saw Buckaroo Bonzai
@diazona in terms of following the narrative, yes. in terms of getting a happy ending.........
"There's no question about it --"
"Actually I have a lot of questions."
#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978