how could you remove the misaligned "i don't care" that is such a shitty line #monsterdon

When @diazona says "everything exploded" he means careers, hopes, dreams, future prospects of work. All of it.
@lytta @davesdogmaggie

#monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie How could you have known though 😛

#Monsterdon

I DONT CARE, DO U? --Stella #monsterdon

I like how judgy these intertitles are

#Monsterdon

@diazona Oh. Well, that wasn’t really worth asking. Thank god posts are free. :)

#Monsterdon

Good to know they didn't delete any instances of math working properly

#Monsterdon #StarCrashDeletedScenes

I swear the ships actually look like they're turning in the deleted scenes

#Monsterdon #StarCrashDeletedScenes

someone misread "sector" as "specter" and just wrote that into the script #monsterdon

@diazona @davesdogmaggie truly i must have been barely looking at the screen by that point because the battle had been so much nothing....

#monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie It's the opening scene: where did that ship crash? The one that ran into the red blood cells in space. Hoff was the only survivor of the crash. #monsterdon

@lytta @davesdogmaggie Yeah they crashed a floating city into a hand-shaped space ship and everything exploded for like two solid minutes

#Monsterdon

@diazona @davesdogmaggie oh dang did i miss an actual crash?

#monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie I think the titular crash was the one at the end with the floating city... if that's what you meant?

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie so there are apparently multiple off-screen crashes... and then the superweapon/technique they use to win at the end is called Starcrash i think?

#monsterdon

yeah dude, things that are left on the beach usually get buried in about 2 minutes, it's kinda what tides do #monsterdon

I don't know why it didn't strike me before I see it again in the deleted scenes part, but...

So they're searching for the enemy base in these locations people have been searching for for probably decades if not hundreds of years (no clue on time scale here) but then these people just do it in hours?

Like they just... know where to go to find these places all kinds of people have been searching for forever?

#Monsterdon

Legit question.👆

#Monsterdon

@strangefour ooooh looks good indeed! Enjoy!

#Monsterdon

Dare I say it, parts of the movie almost seem to make some sense with these deleted scenes

Almost

#Monsterdon #StarCrashDeletedScenes

@ricci You run up to the enemy and make a big show of having it slip from your grasp so they grab it. Your work is done for you #monsterdon

Did I miss the crash part?

#Monsterdon

@moira 'Sprobably why people keep crashing into the stars. #Monsterdon

@Terencio Devil Girl is too good for this.

#monsterdon

@arisummerland Peak Dunning-Kruger here #monsterdon

Hmm, so I did watch the version with this campy "one damn survivor"

#Monsterdon

@steggy

Ha! Same.

#Monsterdon

... Though I actually think I'm saturated on movies for the evening.

#Monsterdon

they feared the audience might laugh at the film #monsterdon

That flick was so lackluster my Bluetooth drivers quit at the very end #monsterdon

@paco @Terencio wait i missed the horses

#Monsterdon

oh NOW the picture will be of lesser quality? #monsterdon

wait was Starcrash originally a French movie

#monsterdon

@gnomon Nah, just spitballing - it's a dumb idea #monsterdon

💭 devil girl + stella star

#monsterdon

@ricci only if it was tilted back and scrolling away, that's the only way to do exposition #monsterdon

@aburka it's "dub affect"

#monsterdon+

Surely Grizzly has got to have some aspects to it better than this #monsterdon

ok well that is fair to cut the scroll text for the american release if it is in ..french... #monsterdon

@forestine You missed the Amazons. #Monsterdon #StarCrash

OK I'm not losing any more valuable sleep time to this movie, especially since whoever made this deleted scenes bit really is taking themselves way too seriously.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

@diazona Maybe that had the cut dinosaurs in it. #monsterdon

when we saw this scene in the movie before, I thought it was, like, a nightclub onboard the ship #monsterdon

@cainmark and many of the sound effects were just "Wee-oo-wee-oo" #Monsterdon

all of these actors sound like they barely remember their lines #monsterdon

Continuing to watch the deleted alternate scenes, and they are continuing to take themselves way too seriously.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

I feel like we could've spent a little more time on the Amazon ladies planet.

You know, maybe some lunch, and a coffee before the robot had show up and start blasting everyone and rescuing our heroes.

#monsterdon

Roger Corman had the right idea insisting on deleting some scenes, it's just that he should have deleted them all #monsterdon

@jivens @paco @floatybirb @steggy it's simple mathematics. #Monsterdon

@diogenes #monsterdon Wat? Christopher Plummer couldn't afford to visit Rome without having to make a movie there? Not buying it.

@cainmark @kurth from an even older radio skit #Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 oh i forgot about the amazons.

there were just so many Things that happened #Monsterdon

@moira looks yummy (or, promises to look yummy after baking)

#Monsterdon

@forestine
All the other women were sexy Amazons on that one first planet, who all obviously banded to together so they could fight off getting grabbed.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

Nice epilogue from Emperor Uriel Strephon.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

Or Ewoks Battle for Endor.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

@bstacey Tempting! (if I didn't already have the deleted scenes queued up)

#Monsterdon #WrongStarcrash

On #letterboxd I rate this trifle of a movie one and a half stars because I don't think I'm going to remember it very long https://letterboxd.com/anderson_petaq/film/starcrash/ #monsterdon

This movie is a crash alright
#monsterdon

@foolishowl The wheel of time turns or, uh something.

Except I guess if he decides to stop it.

I think there was a point in there somewhere? Like, we're supposed to be good because if we don't, uh...

No, I don't think that was it. Uhm...

#Monsterdon

Good lord they are taking this way too seriously.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

While getting ready for #Monsterdon, I accidentally also downloaded Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985). Anyone down for #WrongStarcrash?

@ryan Thanks for streaming #StarCrash for #Monsterdon starting with the soundtrack/interview!

@strangefour Still better than the Star Wars Holiday Special I think

#Monsterdon

@yatsu they should remake bad movies that had character, take a gamble (Hollywood never would now)

#Monsterdon

@arisummerland @lytta ohh gotcha. Yeah that's longer than I would have thought

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The wheel of time can be stopped anytime the emperor wants to, apparently..

part of me wants so bad to re-write this entire movie from the ground up, but most of me knows that the wisest course of action is to memory hole the entire past 90 minutes and just go on with my life. #monsterdon

Boom!
#Monsterdon

btw i was finally actually wearing my #monsterdon shirt for #monsterdon

Oh wait! Scrolling exposition in French!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

And another #monsterdon comes to an end. Starcrash had it all.

Wooden acting, overt exposition, plot held together by off the cuff dialog, models that ranged from "I just saw Star Wars and want to do that" to "What, they need to shoot it when?", and a laser sword that definitely wasn't a light saber.

Thank you everyone, dumb movie riffing is much needed right now.

And as always, thank you @Taweret for hosting!

Was this the worst Star Wars movie? or just the worst one that wasn't some low budget foreign film you can excuse looking like crap?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

#Monsterdon oh good, the count blew up. It's over now, right?

…

Right?

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Wow.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting, @JoeWynne for trivia, @Cherizilla (by remote control but I forget who forwarded the think, and whoever that was thanks to them) for the bingo.

Wow.

Can’t believe I paused watching A Hundred Years of Solitude for this one. #Monsterdon

@kurth

I think this scene is a reference to a 1960s Elaine May and Mike Nichols skit, but the names were George and Martha.

#Monsterdon

If only the Doom Machine didn't take 15 minutes to prime!

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

@ramsey #monsterdon I reckon its bc they only had Hasselhoff for a couple days, so they needed someone to play a character just like him, for longer.

Who the fuck was Akton? I don’t even understand Akton. What was Akton? Why was Akton?

#Monsterdon

The moral of the story is that a galaxy is a fiddly thing to have to run when there are rascals in capes helbent on taking the thing away from you. And Stella got to witness that #monsterdon

#Monsterdon so, did Caroline Munro take this part because she got to do like 20 costume changes?

hair on lens

#monsterdon

That was a trip! I wanna see the gritty anarchist prequel series to this, it must have its own Andor out there that explains how... Umm... What was the plot again?

Thanks for a lovely hang, folks! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon and the award for most awkward fist bump in movie history goes to…

That was one hell of a refurbishing job on Billy Bob Bot. Who gave him that factory reset?

#Monsterdon

Well, that was...

I'm not even sure what that was.

#monsterdon #starcrash

Criswell Plan 9 ending.

Rest well, human-like friends! #Monsterdon

I'm rewatching the city crash and dramatic expiration. Show me the colors you fools.
#monsterdon
#starcrash1979

godzilla-related trivia: the director of STARCRASH did an edit of the original GODZILLA, colourized and with a synth soundtrack and footage from other movies. i haven't seen it yet but there are copies on youtube and the internet archive

#monsterdon

So, a "Star Crash" is just flying a giant floating city into the evil count's space fortress?
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

I know some people are done but I have been watching on two different devices at two different paces 😳

#Monsterdon

Well I remember now why I didn't remember this movie.

I have NO idea what happened. None. It's all just gone.

Well, at least it was a whole lot more fun watching it with you guys!

#Monsterdon

@rallias PG = Paltry Garments #monsterdon

Closing credits with Latin percussion - I see what you're up to, John Barry #monsterdon

Thanks everyone ✌️ 👍
#Monsterdon #Starcrash

thanks all for another great #monsterdon and to @Taweret as always for hosting!

I’m gonna have to go back through the list of movies for this year, but right now, this has my vote for worst.

#Monsterdon

THIS SHIT WAS RATED PG?!?

#Monsterdon

I don't think George Lucas cried enough.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon