lol, of course he has a special effect as he dies, it all makes sense....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"I'm no longer useful at this time" <-- Akton and me, tbh

AKTON DO NOT LISTEN TO THE COP IN YOUR HEAD

#monsterdon

Oh dear, the stop-motion robots that are clearly actually there with the actors. #monsterdon

Ah, yes, the completely disabling slight arm wound #Monsterdon

They let the magic smoke out of the computer :(

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Hoff makes duck face when he laser sword fights

Here's the machines that go wibble wobble wibble wobble wibble wobble. #monsterdon

Preprogrammed computers? When the hell was this written 1950?

#monsterdon Hoff's fencing seems pretty convincing

Why do the guards have blasters, but the robots have swords?

#monsterdon

The golems remembered to use swords with cortosis weave, right?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

@gnomon StalaCtite, that C's in there for the Ceiling. StalaGmite, the G's there for coming from the Ground. #Monsterdon #StarCrash But I thought they were icicles.

Stella Star just pouting instead of helping the two guys fighting the robot.....

#Monsterdon

Ah, a nice trade Hoff #Monsterdon

Why does McCurlylocks know where all this stuff is and what it all does?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

“These outfits will never get by the censors.”
“No problem, we’ll just have Stella wear a plastic bag for half the movie.”
#Monsterdon

This antagonist is darth vadar hit with a train-spotting vaudevillian??
#monsterdon #starcrash1979

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

the director apparently also required the villain to aspirate EVERY /t/, without exception.

So the bad guy is going to destroy his own command center?
#monsterdon

an hour goes by quickly.. except while watching this movie.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

I'll evilly laugh myself out of the chamber... but NO FURTHER

#monsterdon

This antagonist is very, uh. Giggly.

#monsterdon

What if Mr. Yuck and Mr. Clean had a baby? And what happened to that guy?

#monsterdon

The director said to the makeup artist: “More Eye Liner, Dammit!” And they obliged.
#Monsterdon

@RamenCatholic #monsterdon The leather outfits are pretty awesome too.

HOO HA HA HA HA HA #Monsterdon

"An hour goes by quickly"

I'll be honest, he's not wrong there, this film is a time warp!

#Monsterdon

okay, the villain read the order correctly. chew that scenery, baby. #monsterdon

For this scene Stella will be borrowing #Hannibal 's oversuit :)
I always called it his 'trouble suit' :D

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

#Monsterdon the best parts of the movie are the stop-motion robots & her eye make-up.

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

HEH heh heh heh heeehhhh

#monsterdon "UNBELIEVABLE" meaning unbelievable that they found the very last stash of Boeing's perspex domes from WW2 and used every last one here.

The golems!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Stella's see thru suit makes her walk funny i guess. The chafing.

I'm still waiting for a Star Wars cantina scene.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon luckily this facility has no.... security.... whatsoever

Lucky.....AND clever!

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter he's the DM-NPC. #Monsterdon

"All these power modules, what are they for?" AI probably. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

@moira @adubya sorta a hoffman encoding?! (I am sorry about that) #Monsterdon

Now that Hasselhoff is here, will we be seeing a lot of slow-motion running?

#Monsterdon

Operation Headquarters

#Monsterdon

Bingo!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Stella looks like she's dressed for a sexy virus outbreak

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

very green and purple!

@EricKHoward well, he's a lefty... NOW?... #Monsterdon

@cd0 yeah I was thinking about that too

#Monsterdon

Two Hoffs. This is a two Hoff plan.

#monsterdon #starcrash

Wow, I'm so impressed they survived the lava lamp attack, through no apparent means.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

So much damned permed hair!!!! #monsterdon

Bizarre alien species! (cavemen who are called "Troglodytes")

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Is Marjoe sweating or crying?

The Hoff could have smuggled some weapons in his hair.
#monsterdon

ONE caveman attack

TWO caveman attacks

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

#Monsterdon

"I already knew you would say that"

See?

#Monsterdon

Oh good it's the guy who knows everything and can do anything

#Monsterdon

I see his schwartz is as big as mine.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon trivia: david hasselhoff was once considered a sex symbol

I feel like the eye lasers would have been slightly more effective than bashing people with sticks

#Monsterdon

yes, we've had one deus ex machina... but what about second deus ex machina? #monsterdon

Actually ugly laughed out loud at the lightsaber appearing

#Monsterdon

It’s a light CANE.

#Monsterdon

This way looks safe

NOT

#monsterdon

Who knew space travel would entail so much cave man ass-kicking

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

Was that the most powerful weapon ever, or someone mashing up food coloring between two page protectors on an overhead projector?

#Monsterdon

"Who are you?"

"I'm a curly-headed fuck!"

#Monsterdon

wait so the emperor is the good guy in this one?

I am *lost*

(as it should be)

#Monsterdon

@arisummerland "back when the Earth was fresh and new...."

#Monsterdon #DavidHasslehoff

@jivens but if you see underpants, you wouldn't see the curlies? #ConfusedRightNow #Monsterdon

Aaaand they're on a planet again. These people really know how to land and take off. #monsterdon

The Hoff arrives!
#monsterdon

wait, the Hoff is Chris's son? y'alright. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"Let me cut you down..."

"There, you're free" <-- dialog for the people who don't understand anything

i can't believe @culturednyc is joining #monsterdon and dropping the score influence knowledge

Eye lasers seem fairly popular in this universe

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Ask your doctor if whatever they used to stop that is right for you. #monsterdon

Go on, follow Budget Kamen Rider. #Monsterdon

I bet he barely see a thing in that Zardoz hat...

#Monsterdon

@culturednyc Is reality real if this exists? #monsterdon

The cavemen saved us from Robot Chauvenism?

#monsterdon

Cavemen: hup hup hup hup hup hup hup

hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup

hup hup hup hup

#Monsterdon

cave men with modern underwear

(thankfully)

#monsterdon

And joy broke out all over #monsterdon as Darth Sextoy was slain at last.

#starcrash

Finally, 50 minutes in, and we get to the real protagonists! The cavemen!

#Monsterdon

@ricci hey, don't kink shame me!
#Monsterdon

This is one of those Zardoz planets, beyond the Haunted Cluster.....

Is this finally The Hoff?

#Monsterdon

I don't remember Quest for Fire having space ships.

#monsterdon

She wakes up in a normal costume and changes back into the prison slave bikini.
#monsterdon

Wait, so the cavemen are the equivalents of the Ewoks? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🖨️

Oof, poor Caroline, spending this whole scene nose-deep in caveman butt :/ #Monsterdon

“Time for a little robot chauvinism.”

It is never time for “a little” chauvinism, robot dude.

#Monsterdon

TIME FOR A LITTLE ROBOT CHAUVINISM!

Like... it's so ridiculous that I can't even be mad about it.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I'm catching up with those viewing a bit faster than our feed. It's the lava-lamp attack. Or is it a psychedelic bubble-tea experience?

#monsterdon

@cocaine_owlbear

Wasn’t he ordained at like 4 yo?

#Monsterdon

IN CRATER -- JUSTOVAR THAR

#monsterdon

Did we have an explanation why Akton has superpowers?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

They're on some sort of quest in this pic? I've totally lost the plot.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou and reality are the Webb Telescope people even looking for the purples ones #Monsterdon

Niiice! I am loving the Space 1999 vibe of the control panel.
#Monsterdon