@RamenCatholic #monsterdon The leather outfits are pretty awesome too.

HOO HA HA HA HA HA #Monsterdon

"An hour goes by quickly"

I'll be honest, he's not wrong there, this film is a time warp!

#Monsterdon

okay, the villain read the order correctly. chew that scenery, baby. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon the best parts of the movie are the stop-motion robots & her eye make-up.

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

HEH heh heh heh heeehhhh

#monsterdon "UNBELIEVABLE" meaning unbelievable that they found the very last stash of Boeing's perspex domes from WW2 and used every last one here.

The golems!

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Stella's see thru suit makes her walk funny i guess. The chafing.

I'm still waiting for a Star Wars cantina scene.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon luckily this facility has no.... security.... whatsoever

Lucky.....AND clever!

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter he's the DM-NPC. #Monsterdon

"All these power modules, what are they for?" AI probably. #Monsterdon #Starcrash

@moira @adubya sorta a hoffman encoding?! (I am sorry about that) #Monsterdon

Now that Hasselhoff is here, will we be seeing a lot of slow-motion running?

#Monsterdon

Operation Headquarters

#Monsterdon

Bingo!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Stella looks like she's dressed for a sexy virus outbreak

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

very green and purple!

@EricKHoward well, he's a lefty... NOW?... #Monsterdon

@cd0 yeah I was thinking about that too

#Monsterdon

Wow, I'm so impressed they survived the lava lamp attack, through no apparent means.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

So much damned permed hair!!!! #monsterdon

Bizarre alien species! (cavemen who are called "Troglodytes")

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Is Marjoe sweating or crying?

The Hoff could have smuggled some weapons in his hair.
#monsterdon

ONE caveman attack

TWO caveman attacks

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

#Monsterdon

Oh good it's the guy who knows everything and can do anything

#Monsterdon

I see his schwartz is as big as mine.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon trivia: david hasselhoff was once considered a sex symbol

I feel like the eye lasers would have been slightly more effective than bashing people with sticks

#Monsterdon

yes, we've had one deus ex machina... but what about second deus ex machina? #monsterdon

It’s a light CANE.

#Monsterdon

This way looks safe

NOT

#monsterdon

Who knew space travel would entail so much cave man ass-kicking

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1979

Was that the most powerful weapon ever, or someone mashing up food coloring between two page protectors on an overhead projector?

#Monsterdon

"Who are you?"

"I'm a curly-headed fuck!"

#Monsterdon

wait so the emperor is the good guy in this one?

I am *lost*

(as it should be)

#Monsterdon

@jivens but if you see underpants, you wouldn't see the curlies? #ConfusedRightNow #Monsterdon

Aaaand they're on a planet again. These people really know how to land and take off. #monsterdon

The Hoff arrives!
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"Let me cut you down..."

"There, you're free" <-- dialog for the people who don't understand anything

i can't believe @culturednyc is joining #monsterdon and dropping the score influence knowledge

Eye lasers seem fairly popular in this universe

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Go on, follow Budget Kamen Rider. #Monsterdon

I bet he barely see a thing in that Zardoz hat...

#Monsterdon

@culturednyc Is reality real if this exists? #monsterdon

The cavemen saved us from Robot Chauvenism?

#monsterdon

Cavemen: hup hup hup hup hup hup hup

hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup

hup hup hup hup

#Monsterdon

cave men with modern underwear

(thankfully)

#monsterdon

And joy broke out all over #monsterdon as Darth Sextoy was slain at last.

#starcrash

Finally, 50 minutes in, and we get to the real protagonists! The cavemen!

#Monsterdon

@ricci hey, don't kink shame me!
#Monsterdon

This is one of those Zardoz planets, beyond the Haunted Cluster.....

Is this finally The Hoff?

#Monsterdon

She wakes up in a normal costume and changes back into the prison slave bikini.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🖨️

“Time for a little robot chauvinism.”

It is never time for “a little” chauvinism, robot dude.

#Monsterdon

TIME FOR A LITTLE ROBOT CHAUVINISM!

Like... it's so ridiculous that I can't even be mad about it.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

I'm catching up with those viewing a bit faster than our feed. It's the lava-lamp attack. Or is it a psychedelic bubble-tea experience?

#monsterdon

@cocaine_owlbear

Wasn’t he ordained at like 4 yo?

#Monsterdon

Did we have an explanation why Akton has superpowers?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash1978

They're on some sort of quest in this pic? I've totally lost the plot.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou and reality are the Webb Telescope people even looking for the purples ones #Monsterdon

Niiice! I am loving the Space 1999 vibe of the control panel.
#Monsterdon

The lava lamp attack will be explained, right?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

Both her hair AND her outfit keep changing!
#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

mmmm imperial strawberry jelly blast
#monsterdon

@jonny Ok, so, uhm... Like... These people are, uh, trying to stop the evil Count who is a count of... something... And, uh, he's trying to kill them and... There was a giant robot and amazons for some reason. Oh, and a green guy was a spy.

#Monsterdon

"You would've tried to change the future. Which is against the law."

Fuckin magic space cyborg Marjoe Gortners, always naive enough to believe the law will save them

#Monsterdon

Oh no someone put a magnet on Bender!

#monsterdon #starcrash1979

"my circuits are failing"
we would be so lucky.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

I like the 'wacka-wacka-wacka' sound that the rockets make as they fly past us

Those are definitely stars and NOT Christmas lights for YOUR information.

#Monsterdon

there's never been a more cop statement than 'it's illegal to change the future'

#monsterdon

against the law of what

#monsterdon

Changing the future is .. against the law?

#Monsterdon

The reactor fits in the palm of your hand

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

@Violinknitter He has the Perm of Invincibility!

#Monsterdon

Wait, now hair dude can see the future?

But he didn't see himself nearly getting murderized?

#Monsterdon

"The ship is not working simply because I am a smug asshole"
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

How is Curly immune to red lasers? I’m so confused #Monsterdon

@Lazarou oho sorta an acton figure!? --dad #Monsterdon

Back to the prison outfit
#monsterdon

It's not even ice, it's just white paint, you can see the drips, wow.

#Monsterdon

“I am not programmed for this malfunction.” This line will be useful in my daily life. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm tired of hearing about Acton's "Powers".

Is this stuff anybody can do?

Is he an alien? A wizard?

Are there a lot of people like him? He's just a rando smuggler, right?

@EricKHoward All atomic activity would completely stop. About a thousand times over.

#Monsterdon

good news she will live with only extensive frost bite on 100% of her body

#Monsterdon

"these deadly rays will be your death"

#monsterdon

Fifteen more minutes have passed, and I still feel nothing for any of these characters.

#Monsterdon

he's reheating her using the pride rays #monsterdon

@jivens I would prefer snowshoes to high heel boots for tromping around in the snow, though, if someone were giving me a winter wardrobe. #Monsterdon #StarCrash

A lot of these actors look like they're on the verge of a giggle fit. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Deflocking ray.

Stella and robot are in love? What the actual space fuck is going on?

#monsterdon

Okay, showing how guns work before temu-jedi Acton stopping them is actual good plotting.

But shouldn't Thor have been blown up or vaporized?

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon

Ah yes. The old "reflecting your energy back on you" trick