@jonny Wild to think they had some footage they deemed unfit to include #monsterdon

OH RIGHT i can confirm for #monsterdon that this week's baking was a success even though it was still going right into the show

https://mastodon.murkworks.net/@moira/114729231461361204

#cookies

@Taweret @jammerb @Cherizilla Oh, and I did get a bingo!

#Monsterdon

@SordidAmok

YOU WISH!!!

We have not yet begun to plumb the depths.

#Monsterdon

@jivens see this I can get excited about

#Monsterdon

@kurth I'm 99% sure at least half of the movie was dubbed over after they finished shooting.

Especially the awful fake accent robot. There is literally no room for doubt it was dubbed. (I bet you they wanted to do roboty sound effects on a voice, but then they couldn't so just threw that together thinking it would be unique or something.)

#Monsterdon

You know what? I really hated that movie, but I’m super grateful to @Taweret for hosting, to @jammerb for #MonsterdonBingo, and to all of you for making it fun!

@Cherizilla, get well soon!

#Monsterdon

this was so weird acoustically. The high notch score by John Barry with those measly sound effects and that off-dubbing. maybe they held the microphones the other way around on shooting and had to dub the movie afterwards?
what a mess

#Monsterdon

Like... uh... bad hair dude could do projected oscilloscopes for visualizers for your music collection!

Fake accent robot couldn't do that!

#Monsterdon

@Ranjit Nothing but the finest production values!

#monsterdon

Holy Shit, #monsterdon

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Barry_(composer)

The most disappointing thing of all was the fact that the fake southern accent robot was resurrected. They could have just let him die. Why did they have to save that stupid robot? Heck, save bad hair dude if you have to pick. At least he was useful for something.

#Monsterdon

I don't understand anything that happened, but Christopher Plummer says we won 🎉

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Wow, that sure was a movie. And it only took four hours!

Wait, what do you mean it's only 94 minutes long?

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

@SordidAmok The monsters were the characters we met along the way.

#Monsterdon

I think I could come up with a plot this good

#Monsterdon

i guess this movie explains why i remember nothing about this movie other than Star Girl With Star Earrings

#monsterdon

So they just used the jump-back button on their Temporal DVR and did a do-over and dune blew up the evil count it something I guess I dunno

THE END

Technically the pointless red glowey balls were monsters so this was a perfectly cromulent #Monsterdon and it didn't disappoint in its delightful horribleness. Thanks for another fun selection @Taweret !

Is this the floating city? It looks like a candy colored oil refinery.

#Monsterdon

L might be my least favorite movie robot.
Okay that's a lie, but I have managed to blot out all the really horrible ones.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

@Violinknitter That’s kinda what wheels do. It’s their job!

#Monsterdon

i hope that trip to rome was worth it, plummer

#monsterdon #starcrash

@aburka I have just read that out loud with all the dramatic passion that it deserved!
#monsterdon

exactly
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

The closing music outlasted the closing credits by at least 30 seconds

@ricci they have a charm #Monsterdon

@jonny When you're emperor they let you get away with anything #monsterdon

literally fell asleep mid-line there

#monsterdon #starcrash

#Monsterdon I've noticed that some of you have gotten to the end of the movie.

I am envious.

Definitely one of the top 100 space movies made in Italy during 1978. #monsterdon

We can't keep a good robot down??

Rats!

#Monsterdon

Nobody had the heart to tell the modelmaker: "No I don't think closeups would look very good." #monsterdon

That is a cool throne, though.
#monsterdon #starcrash

oh dear God
Space Shakespeare

#monsterdon

The heirophant is telling us where we are in the narrative!

#monsterdon
#starcrash1979

wow. i just, uh... wow. #monsterdon

Well if Space is a Sea, which the makers of this movie clearly thought, then everybody fucked off into the Sea!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"It's done. It's happened." <-- Christopher Plummer

"It's happened."

Me:

#Monsterdon

D’Oh! Picture trouble is (hopefully¿?) temporary.
#Monsterdon

Why is the stupid robot echoing?

#Monsterdon

space yoo hoo!

#monsterdon

Starting to do the math... the emperor has ONE son... Great hair, and a guy about his age with visually juxtopposed aesthetic who wants vengance for...
What?
Was it about mcguffin blueprints or something more personal?

#monsterdon
#starcrash1979

Have we fucked off into space yet?

#Monsterdon

@SordidAmok I think they misspelled pilot #Monsterdon

I gotta say, Scenery-Chewing Villain Guy played a great Scenery-Chewing Villain Guy. It ain't much, but it's honest work, etc., etc.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

very long explosion

Any other scifi ever written uses escape pods.

These guys just jump out a window in space.

#Monsterdon

Say what you like about the competence of this crew, but they have celebrating every little win down pat.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

YEE HAW 🤠
#monsterdon

She delivers her lines exactly like she's reading them off a cue card

#monsterdon

This might have the most "whatever" plot of any Monsterdon movie in this history of the hashtag. 😂

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

there's an "urban planning" sub-text here, right? #monsterdon

That's some rough turbulence
#monsterdon

This space battle looks like when I used to play with toy spaceships, and fly them around the living room with my hands, *pew pew* -ing each other.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash

ok guess we're swimming through space without a tether now

#monsterdon

Now that is a space station! 🌈 #Monsterdon

@Terencio I think it may have popped up in Stargate Atlantis, that would qualify

#Monsterdon

I have no idea what we’re trying to do or why the movie isn’t over yet

Stella went down an elevator to get to the flight deck of Babylon 5 Space Station??

To save the Emperor, I guess??
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

"Destroy the floating ship in front of us!"

wow Star Star you sure replaced Akton as your copilot fast. AND WITH A COP

#monsterdon

The doom machine? Is it just a machine that plays this movie? #monsterdon

Ok, I'm beginning to figure this movie out now.

So the silver/rainbow ship is the good guys and the blue thingy is the bad guys. The bad guys are always blue for some reason. That's how you can tell they're bad.

#Monsterdon

Prepare for your fucking TRANSIT!

Eight degrees!

#Monsterdon

Flying a city would be cool if this movie could properly get the scale.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

And they fuck off into space on the rainbow party City. The end.

#Monsterdon #StarCrash1979

I wonder how many Zoltons there are in the universe.
#Monsterdon

Man, they greebled the FUCK out of that ship. #Monsterdon

This galaxy is very efficient. You can get anywhere in minutes.

#monsterdon

Vultan and the hawkmen are going to be pissed. #monsterdon

Fuck the Imperial Planet, spare the Queer Space Habitat!

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou right? It's like 6 hours worth of plot in 90 minutes! #Monsterdon

get ready to EEEEEEEEEs out of orbit

everybody

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#monsterdon #starcrash

I think there are two types of folks on #Monsterdon tonight:

- those who love elle, and
- those who hate elle

There is no in-between.

#Monsterdon

Is---

Is that a lego on the ship? Is the ship made of legos?

#Monsterdon

Elle stayed dead for 31 minutes, 00:51 to 1:22. Close one. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon emperor's floating city is decked out for pride month

Oh god the Robot is back

#Monsterdon

@L1vY@mstdn.social I think the bad guys won the shooty space battle thingy.

Now they have to blow up the floating city we never heard of before.

#Monsterdon

“If everything goes smoothly, I’ll try to eject myself as soon as I enter space.”

I bet she never expected to utter those words in any order.

#Monsterdon

ah fuck the robot is alive

#Monsterdon

wait, when did she get a CAPE?!? #monsterdon

Yayy! Elle is back!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Kill them!"

Oh really? I thought I'd send them a nice floral arrangement, but whatever you say…

🙄

Use the Doom machine!
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

The Grand Chibop of Frenicken I forgot we had that thing!

#monsterdon

So, the emperor lost because the count was able to survive a boarding action (though with substantial losses).

Tiny universe.

#Monsterdon #Starcrash

#Monsterdon they said the name of the movie in the movie!

They're going to use . . . the Floating City . . . to do a . . . Star Crash, allowing them to surprise them from the . . . Fourth Dimension? This makes halting time look not to outlandish.
#Monsterdon #StarCrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

Not the floating city!

"The DOOM machine" #Monsterdon #Starcrash

@littlemiao #monsterdon reckon its bc the director had problems telling him and Hasselhoff apart.

"Starcrash."

THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW

#Monsterdon

Only a true maniacal genius would name his ultimate weapon "the doom machine".

#monsterdon #starcrash

#Monsterdon 🌟 💫 💥 🚀 🍮 😱

The villain's silver belt is comically high, thus emphasizing his little pot belly

emperor looking solemn to show how heavy it weighs on him to take lives... to have the kind of blood on his hands that it takes to maintain and expand an empire...

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"The Doom Machine"

Not the DOOM MACHINE!

#MONSTERDON

THE DOOM MACHINE!!?!! how did they know the name of my car? #monsterdon