Hey, the villain's deep-fried. #Monsterdon

ATOMIC CANNON!

#Monsterdon

A flying saucer is how you know it's aliens.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The effects are from "studio "H"", the "H" does not stand for "hella good".
#monsterdon

Oh I love Gianni Garko. With that weird rabbit stuff

...what am I thinking of

#Monsterdon

From the title and the year it came out I suspect I could guess just about everything about the plot and characters and be pretty close to being right

#monsterdon

@ajroach42 oof, okay... maybe something to save in reserve for next time we feel like torturing ourselves 😂

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Oh thank goodness Lord Vader's fascist storm troopers are here. Wait...
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

The brave warriors of Liabe must be sopohisticated! Not scruffy nerf-herders!

Invasion of Planet Jittlov looks like a typical ICE operation. Murder of unarmed civilians, fires, screaming.

"The last Battle Between Planets ended before I was born!" No… BBP aired just 12 years before this movie!

#monsterdon #MessageFromSpace1978

What's nice about this premise is, you can do 8 goofy origin stories without having to connect much for a while.

Officer Fox is clearly borrowed from Smokey & the Bandit or Dukes of Hazzard.

"I was known as Kamikaze Meia back on Earth!" (hey, that's my gamer tag!)

Apparently in this universe you can just jump around in space, with an airmask. Sure, they didn't know much about space in 1978.

#monsterdon #MessageFromSpace1978

Odd apron.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

Other than the deeply problematic representation of the slavery / saviour subplot and the questions raised by the final scene, I kind of enjoyed that movie for its deep commitment to total randomness. #Monsterdon #starodyssey

Same vibes

#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

Anyway, if you want a better version of this week's #Monsterdon might I suggest Star Crash, which has David Hasselhoff playing a Mork-ish space wizard, and a bunch of stop motion robots.

It also features the phrase "HALT...

THE FLOW OF TIME"

It's hammy, it's ridiculous, and it is the Italian Star Wars knockoff to watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJFYAPrCF6A

There should be a Space Patrol to sort out space traffic though, those things can cause a lot of damage...

#Monsterdon

This Galvanis dude looks impressive at least, not like the Warlords we have down here...

#Monsterdon

I'm watching Message from Space in glorious 360p and still better than every single frame of Star Odyssey

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

This concludes my #monsterdon thread for Star Odyssey, a movie in which we learned that robots can feel lovesick sometimes too but boxing them is the only way to train yourself to battle evil space androids, which also you need to know parkour to do and/or have a mustache.

They wear lettuce on their heads because it is deadly

#Monsterdon

@jadebees "hanging out hanging out hanging out with my family!"

#monsterdon

@Mjack

#Monsterdon is now the Star Odyssey Survivor Support Group

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

RE: https://mstdn.social/@davesdogmaggie/117108559487331207

Put it on a tshirt with the #Monsterdon hashtag.

Ok, no wonder this doesn’t make sense. This is film four of a series of five low-budget Italian space operas.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Source:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Odyssey

Next up on the Monsterdon Double Feature: MESSAGE FROM SPACE!
Is it bad, eh yeah kinda. But it is much more interesting of a Star Wars knock off that was basically made when all Japan knew about Star Wars was the trailer and posters.
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Holy wow that was

I think that was the actual Worst Movie. Like, ever. In the history of #monsterdon but also in history.

ANYWAY. I don't learn from my mistakes so see y'all next week. Remember to watch @Taweret on Monday for the polls!

"What is life if cannot fuck?" - The Singularity

#Monsterdon

I want to turn this movie off because there's no way for me to f🤬k it

🥁chsshhh

If you enjoyed that, check out straight people doing stand up comedy

#Monsterdon

lol, those kinky bastards as rulers of Earth now? the fuck....

told you this was Salo...

#Monsterdon

They just fuck off into the auction...

#Monsterdon
#StarOdyssey1979

we follow our boring space battle with a boring human romance scene and then a robot romance scene.

#monsterdon

@combatwombat

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Terrified as to where the sequel to this would go...

#Monsterdon

just realized space uncle kind of reminded me of shrek

#monsterdon

When did blondes become so evil?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

...fully functional robots (some modifications required)

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The humans don't want to kill the spaceship with all the human prisoners on it and will try to force it to land. Dark Lord Snakeface tells the surviving two flying saucers to ram the earth fighters; one of them kills the mustache movie star guy who eulogizes his own heroic death. The humans kill the rest of the escort saucers though and so now are just chasing the main one.

#monsterdon

"slaves of every colour"

jfc...

#monsterdon

They can't act and they sure as hell can't kiss. GROSS.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #spaceodyssey
ASTROPORT
ASTROSTARBOARD

"You survived."

"Yep."

"…you're alive."

"Yup."

#Monsterdon

"I couldn't hypo-rape you"

#Monsterdon

Quick! Knock the guard out!

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Did Hollywood just die? He sounded far too happy about that, and no one else seemed to react.

#Monsterdon

"Even in the great days of Hollywood, no star ever died so heroically" #monsterdon

Holly needs to have R2 lock down his stabilizer #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

wait who are Sean and Bridget?!?!?!?!?

#monsterdon

actual lols as Holly died

#Monsterdon

So normally I do love a good cheesy space battle but NGL, this is boring as hell.

#monsterdon

Bridget, Bridget think of your gift and what it means to us!

Stay alive!

Bridget

#Monsterdon

I got him!
Great shot kid- but don't get cocky.

#monsterdon
#starodysessy

This is the lamest spacefight EVAR #Monsterdon

Sean and Bridget, what a team

#Monsterdon

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️TRIVIA ODYSSEY 🌟👾🚀💥

REVIEWS!

An example of sci-fi so bad it has to be seen to be believed.
- Creature Feature

Insufferable or hilariously bad, depending on your mood.
- Techradar

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The aliens are too fast, but the professor has decided he can use his psychic powers to slow them down, somehow. Once they are slowed down the human pilots who are not extras easily blow up the flying saucers with their ray guns.

#monsterdon

R.I.P. Wedge Antilles

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Because Star Wars famously had wars amongst the stars, some more alien spaceships are arriving to take all the human slaves. The space army is sends its space fighters with the super-science whatsits after them.

The snake guy is confident because the humans are primitive barbarians. The humans try shooting the aliens but miss and then the aliens kill the extras.

This is the least dynamic space battle I have ever seen on film.

#monsterdon

"Professor Mori is slowing down their drive system with telepathy"

and you all trust him on that? That's a bold claim

#Monsterdon

THAT'S IT

THAT WAS THE FINAL SPACE BATTLE

NO WAIT THERE'S MORE MAYBE

#Monsterdon

Lock S-foils in attack position.

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Are these guys supposed to be fighting in ships like X-Wings? Did they think this looked good?

#Monsterdon

here we go kids

#Monsterdon

Time for the Trench Run... er... I mean... Time for the Ditch Scamper

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Note, if you'd care to watch a bit higher qaulity film, this Wed. at 10 P ET #westWed is featuring..... #monsterdon

Oh my, the final space battle.....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌌 🔫 🪐 👽️️ 🌍️️ 😱
#StarOddyssey1979

<thinking strongly along with them> END...END...END...END</tsawt>

Did they try pulling the door instead of pushing?

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Activate the EZ BAKE system
#monsterdon

and honestly the ending may as well be random

everything else has been

#monsterdon

Aww, come on Irene!

#Monsterdon

Behind The Red Door #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

I mean the sword foley is unique at-least. Uniquely irritating.
#monsterdon

@paco I was thinking it was like the Princess Leia hologram #Monsterdon

Somebody should have brought a gun to this lightsaber fight

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

They should stop filming now and restart the movie with Irene as the main character, traveling through space, fighting space battles with her laser sword.

#Monsterdon

The professor is drunk.... he is not alright at all..

#Monsterdon

The twins from superjail are not amused at her door closure.
#monsterdon

😂Laser sword go clang!

#Monsterdon

I want this wallpaper

#Monsterdon

The power of his "mind" is awesome.

I need more probing!

#Monsterdon
#StarOdyssey1979

Who is laughing in the those alien mind contact scenes?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

#Monsterdon

There must have been a sale on Prince Adam wigs. #monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Remember, when you feel your art, writing, acting, or video is crap, remember this film. You can, in fact, do far, far worse.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Follow rule 34 , uh B

#Monsterdon

I wonder what Bridget's ass is up to
#Monsterdon

Accommodations for 1 million. Earth has 10 billion people in this setting, and continents have probably already been emptied.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Android vs eyePhone

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Uncle

Uncle

....no I mean I can't take any more of this

#Monsterdon

@crowbriarhexe @Lazarou okay, but

okay

#Monsterdon

What a boring hallway

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

“Hey, android! Nice trip! See you next Fall!”

#Monsterdon

@ramsey Closed caption person fired! #MOnsterdon #StarOdyssey 🌟🌟💫

Good job, subtitles

#Monsterdon

We are all Sad Howard the Duck and Tilly robots.

#Monsterdon

20 minutes in: This tune is jaunty!

1 hour later: They play this music in hell.

#Monsterdon

I hate these robots but I hate Tilt a little more... #monsterdon

lol WTF is this, Robot Existentialism?

#Monsterdon

The movie is being invaded by another song

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Is there some plot happening? I’m afraid I’m too tired and…something… to care.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

NEW MUSIC! #monsterdon