@CactuarJoe #Monsterdon

Is Bingo on anyone's Bingo card? #BingoCeption

#monsterdon Okay, so we've got glowing eyes of compulsion. Murray has a very liberal notion of consent. But I would expect nothing more with moustaches like these on display.

@allanb flashing in Italian colors

#Monsterdon

🦖 MONSTERDON 🎞️

⏳ 30 MINUTE POLL

Which title below has tonight's feature NOT been known by in other markets?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Professor Murray likes a drink or two, doesn't he?

#Monsterdon

😬

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Okay, so this #monsterdon takes place in the future when Earth has big, fancy space ships. A flying saucer decides to fly by earth and does a survey; the people inside it look like humans, except they wear silver and their leader is having a Notable Hair Day. Meanwhile, the human humans have taken to wearing blue suit things that combine the worst features of robes and starfleet uniforms.

Anyway, the aliens scan Earth and determine we have pollution and cows. Then they start shooting earth.

I hear ya Uncle, Humanity has failed...

#Monsterdon

Trust the Italians to make some proper fashion moves in a Space Opera...I'm taking notes...

#Monsterdon

I'd love if this film said "The rumours of invasion are all over the INTERNET"

like stunningly accurate future predictions in a trash movie

#Monsterdon

That dude's face was like 2 half faces of totally different dudes smooshed together

#monsterdon

lots of footage of the backs of peoples heads

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

@randy_s Good rally to get the best option in those circumstances. My cancer is also fully suppressed! Let's celebrate!

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Hyper Radar is the Radar that mailed a jeep home from Korea one piece at a time

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

That guy's got the facial hair of a Nintendo Mii

#Monsterdon

This villain guy is the inbred child of Honey Baked Hams

#monsterdon

BEHOLD, DARTH WAFFLE

#monsterdon

Gotta love the theme tunes they had for movies around this time, some wild Prog rock/Electronica stuff

#Monsterdon

A robot that knows how to whisper. That's a rare thing to find.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

And now the "comic relief" character. I guess? He's got colorful clothes and a dumb hat.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

No one gets forgotten or left behind. Not even robots.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

I love that it's a kind of Sailing Ship but for SPACE!

It reminds me of Starfleet, which was a puppet show that Brain May did the theme tune for

#Monsterdon

OK, Message from Space time. This is actually a kinda good movie, I just haven't seen it in a while.

Planet Juliard! Jilutia! Empire of Gavanas! Kido, the leader, had… 60 soldiers? WTF? Anyway, 8 magic nuts. Emeralida, Orinoco Flow, go find them.

OK, now Galvanas knows how to dress. THIS is a villain's base! Great outfits, prophetic old witch with fake nose.

The Jil spaceship is just a junk IN SPACE. But the bad guy ships are all techie & western. Aesthetic!
#monsterdon #MessageFromSpace1978

I wonder if my ma would like a chair like that if the time came...

#Monsterdon

Message from Toei: the special effects people who make Kamen Rider and Super Sentai. I think they were making tokusatsu Spider-man when this came out?
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

I award Star Odyssey 2 out of 5 Dadaist Gambling Dens. It was rubbish, but so weird that you are compelled to keep watching anyway.

The best characters were the lovesick robots, because they had the exact level of dumb that the film demanded. The worst character was the dead ferret taped to the parkour guy's chest.

My favorite part was the planet auction presided over by a bearded space elf. My least favorite part was probably the nonsensical psychic duels.

#monsterdon

Everybody was harmed during the making of this movie. And the watching #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The epilogue goes back to the planet auction, where Lord Snakeface has given Earth back for auction and veiny bald guy buys it for a lot of money. Nonsensically, the two human scientists from space alcratraz I guess were victorious offscreen and are in charge now and taking the money.

Then credits.

#monsterdon

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes

#Monsterdon

I thought he was going to tell Irene that Hollywood died, but then he kissed her instead.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon mm yup

Kinda want to see the kinky shit Sean and Bridget must do but I'm afraid it would cost me my soul

#Monsterdon

Nobody cares Holly...

#Monsterdon

It’s like their kids wanted to make a movie like Star Wars, and they let the kids write and direct, while they starred in it.

#Monsterdon

Are they lovers, siblings or both?

#Monsterdon

@goinfawr #Monsterdon

It's a tractor beam. But it's not a tractor beam for copyright reasons.

Stabilize your rear deflectors. Watch for enemy fighters.

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

"If I could get (sober) my concentration back again"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Wow, this is just like Star Wars!

Send two ships at a time to defend the whole of the Earth...

#Monsterdon

Reminder: this came out 2 years after A New Hope

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

10 minutes left! How TF are they gonna resolve this?

#MOnsterdon #StarOdyssey 🌟🌟💫

@CactuarJoe

Vulcan mind meld

END END END

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

After rescuing the professor, we got trapped in an orange room that's going to kill us, but we psychic ourselves out of it by chanting "open, open, open!" over and over again. Then we escape the space ship before it takes off.

#monsterdon

there's still ten minutes to this....

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat #Monsterdon

DEVIL GIRL WOULD NOT SAY THAT! she loved fast cars! lel

#Monsterdon

Did he say drive all plot from your mind?

#monsterdon

"Open, open, open"

they said in bed later...

#Monsterdon

In a climactic (?) battle, the combat capable members of the professor's dream team has come to rescue him, attacking the androids with stolen lightsabers.

They kill a bunch of androids but we don't explosions or broken robot parts; an android just like, gets stabbed and falls over while synth noises play.

#monsterdon

Don't go into the room of robot wives

#Monsterdon

Someone should explain why the Lords of the Galaxy want to buy all these slaves from earth anyway. Are they buying slaves to mine Dilithium? Grow sugar? Populate their space brothels? Fix their excel spreadsheets?

#monsterdon

@paco this movie is a great disappointment, even for an Italian film

#Monsterdon

And suddenly Tilt can move again? Is Tilly repaired? #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

lol, their war yell was hilarious

#Monsterdon

The door just farted at them

#Monsterdon

Uncle is too drunk to help

#Monsterdon

@moira Ro-BUTTS

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

RE: https://sunny.garden/@steggy/117108461338175603

Teletubbies

#Monsterdon

The acting here is . . . is . . . what’s the word I’m looking for?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

“Just like Charles Atlas” was captioned as “Just like child athletes!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

#Monsterdon

They may not see you but they can hear explain everything

#Monsterdon

The subtitles translated "Charles Atlas" to "Child Athletes"

#Monsterdon

So, this guy is their Q?

#Monsterdon

@berniethewordsmith a new bottom performer so far...
#Monsterdon

well, it ain't Vangelis

#Monsterdon

That same saccharine music cue over and over is going to haunt my nightmares.
#monsterdon

The human scientists made some anti-Endurium to defeat the alien armor, but it almost immediately exploded. Then the robots stepped to do robot science and and made it stable through the power of their love.

#monsterdon

Industrial robo-sabotage

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

lol, Irene shut that down!

#Monsterdon

cute duplicator effect

we love in-camera stuff on this account

#Monsterdon

lol, loving these high special effects

#Monsterdon

he should have lit a cigarette after that

#monsterdon

lol, his boss rolls his eyes at the megalomania

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow depends upon how many goofballs the audience takes

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The robots show up to ask the professor for help, but he doesn't have any reinforcements to send and has to do a psychic duel with the Snakeface Big Bad.

Meanwhile, the two mustached character continue fending off the aliens with their exploding tree firework mines while parkour guy battles them with a stolen lightsaber. He kills one but discovers that they are androids and so they need lightsabers to fight them. Then one of the prisoner scientists comes to give them drugs.

#monsterdon

Playing space opossum

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

DO NOT TAKE THE PILLS

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

well, sure am glad we spent all that time burying those bombs and doing nothing else to prepare our defenses against this

#Monsterdon

Baron Harkonnen looks pretty good in closeup.
#Monsterdon

"It's not the girl, it's a brain of great intelligence"

gotta crank up the sexism as well then...

#Monsterdon

I do feel bad for the child in the oil drum who was probably told they were going to play a robot in a SciFi movie

#Monsterdon

Someone watched Star Wars and then decided to make this. Let that sink in.

#Monsterdon

Wait is his gun legit just a photo flash?
Omg.
#monsterdon

...Did they only have the one song? #Monsterdon

here come the laser swords!

#Monsterdon

This guy's got the movements of a Power Ranger candidate. #Monsterdon

ecological message about carving into trees being a thing that damages them?

fuck it, I'll take it.

#Monsterdon

The robot couple cheat on each other?!

Do they have any weapons or skills at all for this mission aside from bickering?

#Monsterdon

Gosh you can hardly tell that this movie had three writers. I could swear it was five, no two of which spoke a common language.
#monsterdon

Oh no

I hope she survives Sam Raimi

#Monsterdon

I'm pretty sure the alien mook costumes were inspired by, but less interesting than, the moonbase uniforms from Wes Anderson's UFO series (that we did a past #monsterdon on the recap movie).

They are pretty similar, except the wigs are blonde instead of purple.

What's with handstand guy? Is his fetish doing handstands while two badly written robot characters bicker? I have to admit that's a specific one.
#monsterdon

Back in the space army center, we learn the aliens have landed in Hiroshima to enslave some Japanese people, after previously enslaving Africans, Arabs and Russians.

While the space army is preparing an "atomic ambush", the professor's tells his dream team that they have to find a weak point in the flying saucer armor and I think that he will pay them in space gold from past political crimes. He gives them some Endurium from his secret booze cabinet to experiment on.

#monsterdon

🎵
She glanced this way, I thought I saw

And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw

No it can't be, I'll just ignore

But then she's never looked at me that way before

#monsterdon

The robot poem probably would’ve been the best part of the film, but no, they decided to cut to the next scene of nothing.

#Monsterdon

A.I. poetry? No thanks

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

You need to find a way to penetrate the indestructible metal. Have you tried turning the deus ex machina off and then on again? That'll probably do it.
#monsterdon

macho robot stuff

#monsterdon

Oh good, more grunting. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon wow robot-on-robot racism. i learned something today