This feels closer to The Expanse than the last movie....also you can see what's going on..

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile on the Millenial Goose.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

Dr. Forrester, I think we found your movie :/ #Monsterdon

Heck yeah subtitles! Which I think means we get the better soundtrack? Bits of it were replaced for the english dub.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace

I somehow created a new IMDb account while watching that film. I have no idea when or how I did that, but I’m logged in.

#Monsterdon

And that was Star Odyssey! Big thanks to our Galactic host @Taweret for rigging the numberball, and extra special thanks to the #Monsterdon crew for helping me glue eyelashes onto my Roomba.

(wolf whistle)

oh my, thanks y'all, you deserve medals all around for surviving that. @Taweret and @CactuarJoe thanks for sharing this, I'd never have watched this otherwise ✌🏼

#Monsterdon

Already the Miru afterparty movie looks better...

#Monsterdon

I want to declare war on Italy for this fucking movie. I only spare them for Cicciolina's sake. Sergio Leone & Lucio Fulci are already dead.

☆☆☆☆☆ Why was this released? Did anyone *watch* it before then? Or is it like Monty Python's "deadliest joke", assembled by non-Italian-speaking people in shifts, as a memetic weapon?

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

@paco I understand, thank you. #monsterdon

That movie was almost an hour and forty-five minutes. Really?

An hour and forty-five minutes of nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing was resolved. Nothing.

#Monsterdon

Listen. This movie sucked. You know it, I know it. Now vote, and make it official;

Was SPACE ODYSSEY (1979) the WORST #Monsterdon movie of the year?

Dude lost so badly he sold earth at a loss? And the slaves of earth are free? Yes? WTF DID WE JUST WATCH!?
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Professor: “I can give you genitals, so you can have sex.”

#Monsterdon

“Watch out you don’t hit the CRAP with the prisoners.”

🤣🤣🤣

“crap” in the captions was supposed to be “craft”

#Monsterdon

This is the Star Wars part

#Monsterdon

If I could get my concentration back again, why I could

#Monsterdon

"There's one way I might help..."

Okay goofass, what Deus ex Machina are you about to pull out of your voluminous sleeves? #Monsterdon

Pull out Wedge, no one can follow what you're doing back there

#Monsterdon

WEDGE!? WEEEEEEEEEEDGE!!!?! #Monsterdon

@ajroach42 Worse you say? Is that even possible? The movie is still playing #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

"She's huge, gigantic"

Take your word for it

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat Italian cinema was a mistake, perhaps

I'll still take pasta though

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

god this is garbage
#Monsterdon

Psychic powers are the dullest things to portray in movies, aside from scuba battles

#Monsterdon

OMG!

"They're pretty delicate, these androids?”

I think he ad-libbed that line. Then, the other guy jumped out of frame, yelling playfully, before they cut to the next scene. Was that an outtake that made it into this cut?

#Monsterdon

Earthers have magic guns that vaporize enemy metal. So why not just shoot the spaceship?

The indestructible robot shuts down if you hit his very destructible girl robot. TYPICAL! A man just can't operate without a woman.

"Aaaug! Get 'em!" That was your plan? Finally a swordfight, but it has no fight coordination. Just random short cuts then it's done.

Alien: "You will all die in atrocious agony! We'll make you watch this movie!"

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

I'm assuming the ending is just gonna be random

like random shot of eyeballs and then credits or something

#monsterdon

Presented in Super-Shaky-Film

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

#Monsterdon I see your collar is as big as mine!

Honestly, with those cute stars on their heads, I keep expecting Tilt and Tilly to start telling us the story of Christmas. It would make more sense at this point.

#Monsterdon

I am upset at the lady robot being in peril

Irene suddenly remembers she's the Princess Leia of this

#Monsterdon

Ladies and gentlemen... The LEAST BELIEVABLE TRICK SHOT OF ALL TIME #Monsterdon

Robo-women... amirite robo-guys!

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

#monsterdon Some MIDI bangers there

@Lazarou there's a subplot? That implies plot _structure_
#Monsterdon

How much Enthirium can I get for 5 grams of Unobtainium

...what if I threw in some self-sealing stem bolts

#Monsterdon

Also, it feels like everything the robots have been useful at various random things and not at a specific role that you'd expect.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

So this #monsterdon is kind of weird with the stakes.

It has an existential threat where aliens are enslaving people, and we never see the point of view of anyone who is enslaved. We don't even see the point of view of anyone who is negatively affected by the alien invasion beyond (maybe?) being mildly bothered by it?

I do love the criminal lab pair, especially this "perform the impossible" thing first with the indirium

reminds me of Frenchie from S1 of The Boys, kinda

#Monsterdon

Poison pill injection fools A.I.

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Everyone just eats the pills without question, even as they watch one of their colleagues collapse.

#Monsterdon

They're being attacked by Madonna impersonators. #Monsterdon

OH at last, an action scene in the woods, the centerpiece of all Z-budget movies.

Ominous advance of the oofos, dressed in silver lamé & wigs like Gerry Anderson's UFO. Soundtrack: Perky circus music.

Lightsabers apparently hit by going CLANG like two hollow metal rods being clanked together.

Dumbass robots, slowly wobble off to warn the scientists, don't use the radio.

More psychic non-action! Oh if only the whole film was like this.

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

THIS PAIR OF BICKERING ROBOTS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL
#MONsterdon

Is there another wizard in this universe working on a different plan to defeat the aliens? Maybe we can watch a movie about them, instead?

#monsterdon

Action, set to the score of a Lotus 1,2,3 installation

#Monsterdon

...Of course they have Lightsabers. #Monsterdon

as a kid, I would have thought the flailing motion before standing up was pretty cool. yea, I'm sure I would have been into that.

#Monsterdon

I guess we got a training montage where the Professor's super team was digging holes in the woods and also doing parkour and the robots were writing poems? Meanwhile, the scientifically inclined prisoners were brewing things in test tubes.

But the aliens found out about this training montage through the Big Bad's psychic powers and so sent their mooks to capture the woodland party.

#monsterdon

That Acrobat guy needs to lay off the coke,or the speed or whatever he's on..

#Monsterdon

Tilly, ditch Tilt already. He’s an asshole.

#Monsterdon

RE: https://retro.pizza/@strangefour/117108372654302133

This is true #Monsterdon

I love it when a plan [mumble-mumble]s

#Monsterdon

Dirk? Who's Dirk? There's no Dirk in this film. #Monsterdon

I really enjoy this theme. It's not great but it's so earnest and could easily be in any number of fantasy adventures of this era

And the instrumentation is… pretty good!

#Monsterdon

@paco "i'm just going to throw all ideas out there and see what happens" the Director

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe #MONSTERDON!

#StarOdyssey1979

I have a feeing there's going to be a psychic battle with these two

I think the robots wanted to commit suicide because they bicker all the time and they are the only two of their kind. It's pretty dark really...

#Monsterdon

Synthetic gold. They have post scarcity physics & they kept prisons. Ah, capitalism. #Monsterdon

So are Bridget and Sean an item or what?

#Monsterdon

Is this drunk some bored supervillain?

And that's Earth's Last Hope?

#Monsterdon

oh uh, thank you for… displaying that power. I uh

do you mind explaining the power again, though. I'm not sure what the hell you did.

#Monsterdon

you're worried about wasting time NOW are you Irene?

#Monsterdon

"What a piece of junk!"

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

we're literally in a normal junkyard.. this is hilarious

#monsterdon

Hmmm... where can we film for cheap, hmm ....

#monsterdon

nice subtle wink there

#Monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 Father Merrin in Exorcist

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

We cut to space alcatraz, where the prisioners all stand in what I guess is suspended animation. The Hot Girl prisoner uses her feminine wiles to seduce a guard, then uses the keyboards to free her partner, bad punching man, who punches the guard out. Then all the other prisoners escape and punch more guards.

Later, the mustached characters are meeting the prison boss who is mad that all his prisoners keep escaping.

#monsterdon

So wait... spiderman was distracted by playing poker and then the prison break only happened because horny guard?

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The Big Bad wins the auction, but is mad at the bald veiny alien for making his price higher, so he almost kills him with death ray vision, until the Elf Emperor reminds him that murder is forbidden at the planet auction.

The Big Bad then uses the attention to plug his new earth slave startup to all the other Lords of the Galaxy.

#monsterdon

Fujiko Mine she ain't. #Monsterdon

Nice hat balls

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

@eigen This feels very much like one of those movies where the actors suffered horrible permanent debilitating injuries, just to make schlock, so probably the latter

#monsterdon

Actor: Gor of Tacho

Subtitles: Golden Taco

#Monsterdon
#StarOdyssey1979

No, Sol is a class G sun, not class B.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Is this a flashback? If so, it does finally explain what the aliens were doing.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

@wohali no spoilers please, haven't seen it yet lol

#Monsterdon

I do not understand how the ball-on-a-rail game is supposed to work. Like, if it's just guessing, fine?

but also she lit up like the whole selection of options, so… why would not just always do that if you're not penalized for or restricted by more guesses?

#Monsterdon

You already know why the spacecraft resisted the attack, I thought? That random element you made up for the hull?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

SHUT THE FUCK UP COMMANDER

#Monsterdon

"Oof-oh?" THAT's a new one >_>;; #Monsterdon

...Okay apparently we're done with that scene now? #Monsterdon

I've no idea wtf is going on

#Monsterdon

the noble game of *checking notes* 5-card draw? has, uh *checking notes* thankfully,, survived into this far-flung future

#Monsterdon

You telling me that tiny little man is a fair fight with a death robot called Hercules?

Too many horny old men gambling....

#Monsterdon

Battle Bots... in space!

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

This Future Earth has death sports?

#Monsterdon

They're gonna infiltrate a ductwork cover. #Monsterdon

How does Mustache Guy have a medal for "galactic bravery" when the humans haven't gone beyond their solar system. Shouldn't that just be "solar bravery" or something?

Maybe it's like "Miss Universe", but for space bravery?

#monsterdon

all this hypno kink lol

#Monsterdon

Of course he doesn't use these powers when he's horny, of course you can trust him....

#Monsterdon

Is everyone fucking with that guys' mind, is that why his 'tache is like that.

#monsterdon

Oh wow, Racism went up to ten....😬

#Monsterdon

@cherizilla Nope. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

Someone already halted the flow of time before the cameras even started tolling

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Kinda want Dirk Laramie's party suit...

#Monsterdon

well, it ain't no tangerine dream
#Monsterdon

No fair punching Disco Spiderman! #Monsterdon