I might try watching with the sound off, I don't think I'll miss anything

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

@ohiofi That might be ascribing too much logical consistency to this movie

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

What the heck is going on with this guy? Some kind of drug, or is he having an attack while talking about his job? #Monsterdon

"i'll come right to the point"

press x to doubt

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The poor warden is afflicted with spontaneous orgasms.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

OOooo, 40 minutes and we aren't even halfway through

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

"(cries in pain)"

no those are sex noises

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

My hope is that guy's mustache turns out to be two tiny boomerangs.

#monsterdon
#starodysessy

@cherizilla but seriously though it *has* been becoming a porno since the beginning

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Reanimate the artist formerly known as "M".
#monsterdon

@klu9

"We have scanners ~at home~ on oofo."

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Here at Monsterdon we have learned so many ways a movie can be bad. We learn new and disgusting ways every other week.
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Well at least she had a plan

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Guy in the cell thinking "why don't the guards ever let ME out to make out?" #Monsterdon

She's gonna murder him, right? Right?

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

no sex noises please

#Monsterdon

Bleugh

#Monsterdon

"I shall depart for Sol Three on the first August of-" and nothing useful was going to be said after that

(or before that TBH)

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Dude! They cut right in the middle of a line of dialog. Even the editors were tired of this movie's shit. #monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Its a Universe of complete and utter bastards #monsterdon

Those alien faces is what happens when you don't use sunscreen.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌌 🔫 🪐 👽️ 🌍️ 😱
#StarOddyssey1979

seriously on these super closeups we do NOT need so much forehead

Man, we could have been ruled by Vein Guy. Instead we get Ugly-Purse-For-A-Face.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

I don't have any idea what's happening

#Monsterdon

@ricci clearly that's what's wrong with this movie

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Feels like he shouldn't be able to do that in an auction

#Monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 I was just thinking how sucky the bearded bad guy was

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon This is a weird movie we're watching.

Someone should not have given Dobby that sock.

#monsterdon

Wait didn't square scale face guy say he already bought Earth? Was he just talking out his ass before or did I mishear yet another line of the bad dialogue?
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Animal, bacterial, and plant, the three genders

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

It's full of racists and smells like burning trees

#Monsterdon

Y'all.

I hate to say this, but...

I miss the cerebral nuance and subtle performances....

...of Starcrash...right now.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

"Millions of slaves just waiting to have their minds erased" the Facebook pitch meeting #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Look at the glue around the ASTROPORT sign! #monsterdon
#starodysessy

That planet’s a steal for 5 million credits

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

I love these older movies where they pronounce UFO like it's an acronym instead of an initialism.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

this movie should focus more on the robot

#monsterdon

@ohiofi

Mornington Crescent!

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Space Capitalism!

#Monsterdon
#StarOdyssey1979

This should have been the ending of Bugonia.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon ufo, as oooh-fo... okay. And the commander got angry for no reason, or horny, or… I don’t know…

the defense systems used on the oofoh! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Share your pain!

oof #monsterdon

This movie lasts another 70 minutes. Wasn't there an alien attack? But they are gambling. And fighting robots. And hypnotizing. And beeping. And 70 minutes left 😵‍💫 #monsterdon

I'm assuming there is no in-universe reason she's gambling with her body

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

I think this is an edit mistake, this scene should have happened before the fight

#Monsterdon
#StarOdyssey1979

A stoic “quite right” is the proper response to her bet.

#Monsterdon

why are we back here again

how much pong can one movie force upon the world

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Marvin the Paranoid Android at home

#Monsterdon

The numbers are different from the last time we saw them play.

#Monsterdon #SpaceOdyssey1979

Dabo!

#Monsterdon

The spider embroidered jumper is really growing on me. Somebody spent a lot of time on that.
#monsterdon

None of these games make any sense

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

You're better off

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

#Monsterdon

For all of this film’s flaws, they did get the numbers on the cards to face the right way when seeing through the backs.

#Monsterdon

@wooramel

due to excessive use!

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

That spider pullover is a character in its own right

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

So he uses his powers to cheat at everything.

And he's the protagonist?
#monsterdon

WHAT DOES THIS CARD GAME HAVE TO DO WITH SAVING THE EARTH???

Or is this movie just a director’s fever dream? #Monsterdon

the earth is at stake and we are having some wrestling with a robot.
#Monsterdon #starodyssey1979

That x-ray thru the playing cards shot is actually good effects???

#monsterdon

This is what happens when a director has no intention of ever making any sense. #monsterdon #StarOdyssey

wasn't spiderman on a mission to the moon or something? to like, space alcatraz?

#monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Google finally stopped making phones in the early 2200s and just made wrastlin' bots instead. Yes, it still runs Android.

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The director, in a desperate attempt to make this movie interesting, has heard that earthlings liked the first Rocky movie and decides to put a boxing scene in his movie

#Monsterdon

This fight scene was 100% choreographed by the Three Stooges. #monsterdon

Space boxing huh

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Now this is entertainment!

#monsterdon
#StarOdyssey

#monsterdon #starodyssey

Rock 'em Sock 'em action!!

Okay, but why is a guy boxing with a robot? And why is the ref getting beat up?

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

Quick question: did Italians know what anything was in 1979

#Monsterdon

Oh sure they can beat up on dadbod bot, but would they be so tough against a T-100?

#Monsterdon

rock'em sock'em robot!

#monsterdon

He's beating up that Cyberman!!! #Monsterdon

tilt!

#monsterdon

LUCHA!! Where is El Santo?
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

#monsterdon We're all dazed but standing…

you see, it's not that other film, our hallway is ORANGE

#monsterdon

"Where to?"
"MOOON SPAAAAACE!!"
#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey

Everyone in this movie is awful. The humans keep using psychic compulsion, and the aliens are kidnapping people & doing a science or something on them

There’s no one to root for #Monsterdon

apparently he didn't get his star for Making his Saving Throw.

#Monsterdon

See, they’re all hypnotists. #Monsterdon

The roofies really worked on Olly... he doesn't remember anything

#monsterdon #dirtyoldproff

There's absolutely nothing gay in this film.

#monsterdon

Use the Force, Dirk. #Monsterdon

This guy just keeps getting hypnotized. Surprised his brain hasn't melted yet. #monsterdon

Kiss him already! #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

NOT THE OLD MAN???!
FROM SCENE TWENTY FOUR!!????
#monsterdon

KISS KISS KISS!

#Monsterdon #StarOdyssey1979

The actor playing Spider Dirk (Gianni Garko) is 91

#Monsterdon

This movie has a sort of loose improvisational feel to it. And not in a good way. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Hilarious that they never met an alien species before, never left the solar sustem, yet they give out medals for "galactic bravery." #Monsterdon

Thank you, Temu Spider-Man!
#monsterdon
#starodysessy

Is every alien trained to speak in monotone?

#monsterdon

See this silver spider? That means my mommy loves me.

#Monsterdon

sorry I mean: there's il razzismo

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 😬

i audibly gasped