again using "good-looking" as the only descriptor
#monsterdon

Ah the days when they would hold planes for people

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Ok wait! Why is she running again? #Monsterdon

He should really answer the phone with ‘talk to The Hand’. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon We've got the #SuddenStringSection. They've finally showed up... lazy layabouts!

"Five'll get ya ten that's a FUNGUS!!"

#monsterdon

It'd be great if she got a big long nose like that one episode of I Love Lucy

#monsterdon

Anyway, Typhoid Laura got an opening on her flight, so she left the hotel, leaving some clues behind. The feds find her hotel after she left and conclude that she's dyed her hair, also the thing she dropped turned into a spore monster, so she continues spreading spores.

#monsterdon

"And she had eyebrows, the kind you pull out with pliers, you know?"

Hoboy. 🤦‍♂️

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

I generally dislike cop shit and border restrictions, but I kind of think if you're dealing with "Fungus Spores From Space That Might Kill Everyone On Earth" then maybe the government should, I dunno, stop every plane from flying until they find Typhoid Mary.

This should be a State of the Union address situation where Eisenhower or whoever is like "My fellow Americans, we have spores from space that might kill everyone. We have to turn the airplanes off."

#monsterdon

@allanb I'm an old fart - I can remember VW beetles at a <$2K price point

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@YsengrinWolf That's really what they cost back then, even in the 60s
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Soft... pouting breasts. Birthing hips, perfectly shaped vulva…

"Her assumed name..."Miss Fanjita Boogaloo"

#monsterdon

Moe is describing almost every aspect of her appearance as “nice”.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

This *scene *could have been cut from the film.
#Monsterdon

Poor Laura wanders into a cafe and because she has the worst luck as soon as she wanders in an Emergency Police Bulletin plays on the TV showing the composite portrait of her and describing what she is wearing, so she furtively bolts outside then checks into a hotel under a fake name and reserves another plane flight.

Weirdly, the hotel has a dude who checks her in and then pulls open the TV's antennae for her. Naturally the Emergency Police Bulletin plays again.

#monsterdon

Hawaii is brand new, ma'am. We're still putting mayonnaise on pineapples. Shall I put you on the waiting list?

#Monsterdon

I absolutely expected the film to fade from the composite sketch directly to her face. Credit for avoiding the obvious cut!

#monsterdon

A Tale of 22 Phone Calls

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

'50s cafe scene, awesome!

#monsterdon

"Oh they'll take care of you" *gunshots off screen* #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

"And she had a pair of gams that go all the way to…"

"Sir, we're working on her face here. Please try to stay focussed."

#Monsterdon

Continuing in this movie's determination to have weird scenes between its monologues, we get a sequence where the feds get the cabbie to help make a Wanted picture for the woman using transparent plastic sheets that have different drawings of eyes and mouths and hair on them, thus assembling a composite portrait for her when overlaid.

#monsterdon

do ladies pull out their eyebrows with pliers???? yikes.

#monsterdon

Moe is building his fantasy woman
#monsterdon

Cool, 1950s Identi-kit.

#Monsterdon

Tor Johnson should be in this

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon next on jackass, two dudes setting each other on fire

I think "the spores from space that eventually multiply and kill everything they touch" is a pretty dangerous #monsterdon monster.

Like a godzilla will eventually fuck off into the sea. And a vampire or werewolf isn't going to eat everyone, but the spores might kill everyone, so this is a Keter level SCP for sure.

We should just follow the cab driver, Rettinger. I bet he could get up to hijinks.

#monsterdon

"The action of this movie was described using passive voice, to prevent the audience from getting too excited."

#monsterdon

Scientists love their flame throwers

#monsterdon

Yes. We can see that it's a helicopter. But why show when you can belabor. #monsterdon

Movie if you'd showed a patch of blood rust in the train early on before introducing it with dialogue, it would be better.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon Totally dull cop, APB right there and he's totally dull. Nope, that's okay little piglet. Just drink your coffee. Have a donut.

OMG he invented “Hand” signals!

#Monsterdon

"I like it in here. It's private." - Guy in biohazard suit

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@ohiofi Thigh Master X-7

#monsterdon

This asbestos suit will do the trick, Joe! #monsterdon

#monsterdon Someone should tell her that its customary to remove sex toys when traveling. Helps you not walk like that.

I feel like the actors are really phoning it in.

#Monsterdon

"You've reach Trans Orient Airways. Please listen carefully as our options have changed…"

#Monsterdon

This movie has a police helicopter in it, my all time least favorite variety of helicopter.

#monsterdon

terrible opsec from the bike fascist there

#monsterdon

"I NEED AN EXIT!" - Woman in phone booth

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@Lazarou #monsterdon

In LA, it does!

Laura goes to an airport or train station or somewhere, finds a newspaper describing her as a "mystery woman" and the target of a manhunt and also her ex-husband's house burned down. So she wanders away trying to get away from the police before they can scrub her.

She ends up in a phone booth making a call to reserve an airline while a cop is sitting outside and the bulletin asking for her plays on his cop radio, so she wanders away.

#monsterdon

Loving the exteriors in these old 1950s movies. Such a slice of the times.

#Monsterdon

Wow, that's actually the interior of LA Union Station isn't it? #monsterdon

Many phone scenes = movie greatness.

#Monsterdon

Narrator really working in this

#monsterdon

Hm, this movie reifies DIAF

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

I’m just waiting for someone to call Laura “that dame”

#monsterdon

"...that's when she started running in blind panic"

As she leisurely walks to a phone.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

They got a ride on a fighter jet? Cool! A little tight, probably.
#monsterdon

@patioboater true dat

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon Doctor Pommer likes to try on other voices, it's because he's got multiple personality disorder and his gender dysphoria is IMMENSE.

HAND'S ORDERS #Monsterdon

I wonder what Dick Miller was doing that had him too busy to play this cabbie

#Monsterdon

All you have to do is threaten atomic radiation and people FOLD

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

fucking snitch....

#monsterdon

lol, his final log is interrupted by his domestic drama, the professionalism preserved for the ages now!

#monsterdon

Put this on your reel to reel #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Space Master X-7: The story of Typhoid Mary from Space.
#monsterdon

"The house burned down..."
"Is that not what you intended when you set it on fire?"
#monsterdon

Returning to the monster plot, Phone Man gets a call from Mustache Scientist where he says "this place must be destroyed! burn it to the ground!" so Phone Man and One Army Guy go to his lab to see what happened and see that Mustache Scientist was swallowed by his hubris... I mean... um... the big gooey mass that is covering his labs' walls and also making gurgling noises while it emits steam.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

dudes. He said to 'burn this place to the ground - every stick of it' and you just walked into the lab?

#monsterdon Goodbye. Piss off. I'll find another woman to make me a martini and bring me the COFFEE…

Oh hmm, the locally connected on-prem devices are on a different subnet here..?

Aha, and their YouTube traffic isn't throttled! OK, let's try the version there.

We've missed the first 14 minutes! Without that crucial context I'm sure we'll be completely lost in the intricate plot weavings of SPACE MASTER X-7

#monsterdon

I like the era of movie music when they were just like, hey, instruments, do some things, make some noises, it'll be fine

#Monsterdon

burn it to the ground? yeah this guy just read the script.

#monsterdon

They got a cameo of Moe at his real post-3-stooges job

#monsterdon

that was pleastantly fast

#monsterdon

Red & White taxi - Fitting for the vehicle for the first leg of spreading the red menace around the planet.

#Monsterdon

So - a rapey dweeb? Is this the right movie?

#monsterdon

@trixter Matango adaptation is kinda weird. We didn't hate as many of the cast in the original.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

this is a very strange family dynamic do you think the 'boy' is the monkey?

#monsterdon No, I keep him in the basement, in a pit. “IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR IT FETCHES THE COFFEE DAMMIT!”

I'm speculating we'll have a pandora's box situation where Laura gets sick of Mustache Scientist being a jerk and then breaks the brain fungus monster out of its jar and then the spores inside it start eating everything.

#monsterdon

The odds that this movie passes Bechdel test keep getting lower and lower

#monsterdon

Have we ascertained why the Scientist has this woman's child?

#monsterdon

50s bras never stop being hilariously pointy.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

We have now heard the phrase "masters degree" three times in the introduction of this character.
#monsterdon

She's been hanging out in the living room for what, three weeks now?

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Twink did not want to be drafted, he had plans.

#monsterdon

Wait, this guy was in a graduate program and got drafted?

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

This will destroy all human life (I saw about the fungus in my kitchen)
#monsterdon

This movie has been paid for in part by Qorn™ chickenesque mycoprotein snack nuggets

#Monsterdon

"red blight" "fungus"
Sir it's just iron dust, Jesus Christ
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Doctor is a bitch. It's what happens when NOBODY FETCHES THE COFFEE! WENCH!

Lab security problems now
#monsterdon

Dr. Paul F Tompkins is far too busy with science to waste time on his own child

#Monsterdon

@srol Like, that's kind of the point of them, to house children.

#monsterdon

nowadays crappy government grant committees won't let you "have a lab in your home" that you "leave unlocked so that your spiteful exes ambush you on the way home from the moon to study the space samples" #monsterdon

"Hi hubby! I dropped by the orphanage on a whim and I brought home a seven year old."

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Alien life: “That gold record you sent us sucks! You earthlings have terrible taste in music!”

#monsterdon

The Space Master orbital satellite contains:

* cameras
* a monkey
* non-camera, non-monkey science equipment
* some secret box that somehow brings microbial life back from outer space, uh oh.

#monsterdon

Doc Palmer was rocking the Magnum PI look before that hack Tom Selleck was even growning his first peach fuzz.

#Monsterdon

The twink wants to see the lab....

#monsterdon