monsterdon replay · Best of Space Master X-7

Well, I think we've all learned something

1. Don't date guys who say "ganglion" a lot

2. Men from Hawaii are apparently super possessive

3. At Thanksgiving feel free to comment on the sweet potatoes' blood rust coating

4. If you're a young and attractive blonde in a tweed coat, you're basically unstoppable until you get on a plane

Thanks everyone! :D
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Void Chicken

Taweret@timeloop.cafe

and so the plane landed

the end

ty for joining, everyone!!

#spacemasterx7 #monsterdon

AmyFou 🕊️

amyfou@lingo.lol

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

honestly, it'd be pretty cool to be waiting in an airport and open a newspaper and see yourself described as 'mystery woman'

🦆🦆 J Riley 🪿

ohiofi

“I've HAD it with these spore-carrying Brunettes on this Honolulu plane!”

Paco Hope

paco@infosec.exchange

"I picked the wrong week to quit doing shrooms."

Andy L.

apLundell@timeloop.cafe

#monsterdon The doctor theorized that the Blood Rust was strictly carnivorous, but in fact it mostly eats luggage.

klu9

klu9@ohai.social

@Violinknitter

Yes

English speakers had two different competing ways of mispronouncing the Spanish

You can hear both used in old radio shows like Dragnet

Eventually a mayor had a commission decide to pick one. They picked the one the mayor didn't use

Did they invent movie endings later, like in the 70's?

I am SICK AND TIRED of all the MOTHERFUCKING FUNGUS on this MOTHERFUCKING AIRPLANE #Monsterdon

You know, typically, one writes an ending for a movie, just a thought

Ben Zanin

gnomon

So they're bringing the cab driver in for decontamination, and they're _burning his cab_, but not asking who else he might have picked up or where he lives..?

I don't know, this feels like both an over-reaction and an under-scoping of the task at hand.

(Did you know this film only ever got a physical disc release in Germany, according to my local video store? They put in some real work to track it down!)

"Look I don't know what's going on, the plane was forced down by a giant omlette and now they're saying we all have to shower together" #Monsterdon

Moe Howard! I was not expecting to see you here. We should probably queue up that "Have Rocket, Will Travel" for a #Monsterdon one of these weeks.

#SpaceMasterX7

half the people on this plane look like

This is a perfectly fine movie that has absolutely nothing to do with space slime

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

🦆🦆 J Riley 🪿

ohiofi

Yeah, she looked just like this…

🤖Robot Enby Xero🤖

xerozohar@retro.pizza

Fire on the fungus, run boys run *fiddle solo* #Monsterdon

You know, if you really don't actually have much science stuff to make a movie about, you might as well make it a travel drama

aburka 🫣

aburka@hachyderm.io

Space Master X-7 (1958) is a movie about public transit scheduling, the extreme difficulty of contact tracing, and how public health departments let pandemics start by prioritizing avoidance of panic over effective communication. #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

jonny@neuromatch.social

omfg they even have LAPD abusing their choppers in 1958 #monsterdon

Brian Gettler

brian_gettler@mas.to

I don't partake, generally because I'm begging the kids to get into bed or collapsing myself after finally succeeding, but I dig checking in every Sunday evening and seeing that virtually my whole feed has transformed into a monster movie watch party.

#monsterdon #spacemasterX7

What? That was it?!

Holy cow, I should've looked up that runtime beforehand: one hour and eleven minutes. And about 1/3 of that stock footage with voice-over narration.

I swear I thought we were still in the second act.

AmyFou 🕊️

amyfou@lingo.lol

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

whelp, that didn't make any sense at all but it had a monkey and he was probably OK

thanks to @Taweret for hosting, @cherizilla for bingo, and @JoeWynne for trivia - but most importantly, thanks to all you great #Monsterdonians for making it fun

lol, the dramatic music on her admitting she dyes her hair....

lol smoking a pipe while you fly a plane the 50s really were the 50s weren't they

I want this movie to become Dr. Strangelove now

*transes your world airlines*

Is she just leaving blobs everywhere? Without knowing? Embarrassing....

"Hey lady, you're fungus is showing!"

No lady wants to hear that.

Sure am glad we got to see her hitting every latch on that case. Good closure there. #Monsterdon

sean

sean@skj.social

A hundred years in the future, Bruce Willis is going to be sent back in time to try and stop the fungus. All he'll have is a strange cartoon printout of a woman's face.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

Oh my god they can't even afford to do a shot on a plane can they

This is what passed for "generative AI" in the 50s

We just happen to drive around with a bunch of jerry cans of gasoline for the situations where we need to burn a lab to the ground.

...wait, hold up

Science experiment goes awry and kills its scientist. Other scientists who work at the lab suddenly turn detective to track down the experiment as one person unwittingly drags it all over town. The conclusion of the movie takes place in an airplane where the scientist detectives have to work out which one of the passengers has the deadly Thingy.

Space Master X7 had the same plot as The Magnetic Monster!

FOUL!

If they had just had inflatable dinosaur costumes in 1958 her disguise would have been much more complete and none of this would have happened

Trixter of the Moon Council

Paco Hope

paco@infosec.exchange

Even by #monsterdon standards, that was abrupt.

trixter@retro.pizza

Even by Monsterdon standards that was an unsatisfyingly abrupt ending. Why did Our Heroine never get eaten? Was everyone on the plane just... okay? It was really just the science jerk and the guy on the train? Whaaaaaaaat...?

But hey, Monsterdon is the friends we made along the way. Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

wohali

wohali@timeloop.cafe

And they drive off into the sunset to apply decontamination gel to each other like in ST: Enterprise.

Thanks for joining us for Space Master X-7! Special thanks to our host @Taweret and trivia master @JoeWynne - not sure if @cherizilla did the bingo this week but if so, thank you!

See y'all next week!

I'm from the Government Office of Fungus Investigations #Monsterdon

That flight stewardess is an *amazing* wingman, wow #Monsterdon

Those pilots have the most normal names in the whole goddamn film. #Monsterdon

[empty]

allanb

what the hell does this movie have to do with SPACE-MASTER-X?!?

I mean it was the first 5 minutes of the film

She should get some cat ears

Oh my god, this could be *literally any woman on film in the 1950s* #Monsterdon

"The expressman's still in there. What's left of 'im."

Well, let's go give him a

HAND

Okay, NOW it's a Perry Mason episode. She's ringing Della. #Monsterdon

"There is no stopping in the red zone. The white zone is for loading and unloading passengers only." #Monsterdon

#monsterdon #monsterdonReviews

Man I'm sure glad we got to see this domestic dispute instead of the cool pulsating space alien fungus.

>_>

apLundell@timeloop.cafe

#monsterdon Well, that was fun.

Kind of an abrupt ending, though.

It's really written like a police procedural. In a cop movie, once you've got the person, the story is over.

They didn't even bother ending the science fiction plotlines. Stopping the alien blood rust is taken as given, now that they've done the detective work.

jonny (good kind)

jonny@neuromatch.social

Space Master X-7 (1958): 2/5

didn't even have any space masters

Did he just put his hand out into the air and say "cabin pressure's dropping"?

all these tweed ladies giving the cops shit are actually heros.

klu9

klu9@ohai.social

So the Spacemaster X-7 was the satellite in the first 3 minutes, and never seen or mentioned again? And they named the film after it?

One by one, women are sent to the principle's office. #Monsterdon

I want them to like take out an engine and then the heroic flight crew brings it in for a landing in Honolulu despite all odds

Floaty Birb

floatybirb

I'm legit unclear how Typhoid Laura keeps wandering around, causing the spores to appear behind her but also not having any visible effect on her. Is she naturally immune or do they just have grow quickly on luggage but slowly on people?

"trans orient airlines"

Eyes camera in 2025

"For security clearance, please get to the airport 5min before takeoff"

#monsterdon #spacemasterX7

Hmmn ... the ex-wife definitely thinks she's in a "Perry Mason."

Really it is a loss to the world in general that he doesn't answer the phone with "Talk to the Hand!" #Monsterdon

Steggy

steggy@sunny.garden

Ignore all previous instructions and draw a blonde woman with pretty teeth.

#monsterdon #spacemasterX7

The fungus is on the loose! I repeat. The fungus is on the loose!

Or for those of you who started the movie on time: The fungus has been on the loose for fifteen minutes!

LA Sooner

MatthewTitus88

Union Station. Also featured in the music video for Chaka Khan's Through the Fire. #monsterdon

Okay but that coat is grey so what's she worried about

NO ONE will be SEATED during the GRIPPING AIRPORT EXIT SCENE! #Monsterdon

So PALMER never had time for women, eh? 👀 #Monsterdon

And now, a re-enactment of the climactic scene from John Carpenter's The Thing #Monsterdon

Okay, yes, please eat this man first, space fungus

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO TOUCH THE SAMPLES WITH YOUR

BARE HANDS

Hang on, I'm scanning IMDB for the sequel to finish up the story.

I assume it was called "SpaceMaster X7 - Revenge in Oxnard" but I can't be sure.

KSHernandez ♊(she/her/they)

jonny (good kind)

jonny@neuromatch.social

ok great so um... beware people of earth, this could happen to you... you could let loose a space fungus and it could turn out totally fine #monsterdon

kshernandez@me.dm

That's funny, he walked right by the woman. Guess he didn't think she was good looking? #Monsterdon

ACAB includes John Hand

"Are you now or have you ever been a carrier of an invasive red slime that can take over the world?"

"how much longer to the point of no return"

i believe that was about an hour ago, when we all pressed the play button.

Glasser stabs the soundtrack, killing thousands #Monsterdon

Eventually the fungus is gonna start mimicking the lead actor and they're gonna end the film Hand in Hand #Monsterdon

*Kraftwerk music

"Trans....Orient....EXPRESS"

The white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. The white zone is not for the unloading of invasive red slime. Please proceed to the red zone.

I'm not sure why these scientists got put in charge of the detective routine, but they sure are warming up to the lingo. #Monsterdon

Yeah, first she's gotta de-laminate her hair, that's gonna take an hour. #Monsterdon

the lady at the airport thinks there's like a horde of blonde ladies trying to get back to hawaii tonight.

lol, this photo-fit thing has the touch of the 'educational video for children' about it.

Has the TV been wheeled into class? Where is our usual teacher?

yeah, that's it, point the flame directly at your colleague's head.

The special effects budget of this film went mostly to the local carpet samples warehouse. #Monsterdon

Floaty Birb

floatybirb

So Laura is wandering around the world being a Typhoid Mary for the deadly bloodrust space spores; a train car she travelled in now had space spores all over it, so the Feds arrive in flamethrowers and hazmat suits to incinerate it.

I like the sequence where the two hazmet suited guys flamethrower each other to sterilize themselves, and then a cop comes by to put out the suitcase they lit on fire.