OMG he invented “Hand” signals!

#Monsterdon

It's turned into Fahrenheit 451 all of a sudden

#Monsterdon 🍄 #SpaceMasterX7

"I like it in here. It's private." - Guy in biohazard suit

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@ohiofi Thigh Master X-7

#monsterdon

This asbestos suit will do the trick, Joe! #monsterdon

#monsterdon Someone should tell her that its customary to remove sex toys when traveling. Helps you not walk like that.

So it looks like we're looking for a blonde haired, blue eyed woman of average height wearing a brown coat. Couldn't be many of them in LOS ANGELES. #monsterdon

I feel like the actors are really phoning it in.

#Monsterdon

"You've reach Trans Orient Airways. Please listen carefully as our options have changed…"

#Monsterdon

This movie has a police helicopter in it, my all time least favorite variety of helicopter.

#monsterdon

terrible opsec from the bike fascist there

#monsterdon

And by "wanders" in the last sentence I mean "furtively bolts."

#monsterdon

"I NEED AN EXIT!" - Woman in phone booth

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@Lazarou #monsterdon

In LA, it does!

Laura goes to an airport or train station or somewhere, finds a newspaper describing her as a "mystery woman" and the target of a manhunt and also her ex-husband's house burned down. So she wanders away trying to get away from the police before they can scrub her.

She ends up in a phone booth making a call to reserve an airline while a cop is sitting outside and the bulletin asking for her plays on his cop radio, so she wanders away.

#monsterdon

Loving the exteriors in these old 1950s movies. Such a slice of the times.

#Monsterdon

Wow, that's actually the interior of LA Union Station isn't it? #monsterdon

Many phone scenes = movie greatness.

#Monsterdon

Narrator really working in this

#monsterdon

Hm, this movie reifies DIAF

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

I’m just waiting for someone to call Laura “that dame”

#monsterdon

"...that's when she started running in blind panic"

As she leisurely walks to a phone.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

They got a ride on a fighter jet? Cool! A little tight, probably.
#monsterdon

@patioboater true dat

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon Doctor Pommer likes to try on other voices, it's because he's got multiple personality disorder and his gender dysphoria is IMMENSE.

HAND'S ORDERS #Monsterdon

I wonder what Dick Miller was doing that had him too busy to play this cabbie

#Monsterdon

All you have to do is threaten atomic radiation and people FOLD

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

fucking snitch....

#monsterdon

lol, his final log is interrupted by his domestic drama, the professionalism preserved for the ages now!

#monsterdon

Put this on your reel to reel #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Space Master X-7: The story of Typhoid Mary from Space.
#monsterdon

"The house burned down..."
"Is that not what you intended when you set it on fire?"
#monsterdon

Returning to the monster plot, Phone Man gets a call from Mustache Scientist where he says "this place must be destroyed! burn it to the ground!" so Phone Man and One Army Guy go to his lab to see what happened and see that Mustache Scientist was swallowed by his hubris... I mean... um... the big gooey mass that is covering his labs' walls and also making gurgling noises while it emits steam.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Goodbye. Piss off. I'll find another woman to make me a martini and bring me the COFFEE…

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

dudes. He said to 'burn this place to the ground - every stick of it' and you just walked into the lab?

Oh hmm, the locally connected on-prem devices are on a different subnet here..?

Aha, and their YouTube traffic isn't throttled! OK, let's try the version there.

We've missed the first 14 minutes! Without that crucial context I'm sure we'll be completely lost in the intricate plot weavings of SPACE MASTER X-7

#monsterdon

"This place must be completely destroyed... burn it to the ground!"

"Where are you calling from?"

"The White House."

#Monsterdon

I like the era of movie music when they were just like, hey, instruments, do some things, make some noises, it'll be fine

#Monsterdon

burn it to the ground? yeah this guy just read the script.

#monsterdon

They got a cameo of Moe at his real post-3-stooges job

#monsterdon

that was pleastantly fast

#monsterdon

Red & White taxi - Fitting for the vehicle for the first leg of spreading the red menace around the planet.

#Monsterdon

So - a rapey dweeb? Is this the right movie?

#monsterdon

@trixter Matango adaptation is kinda weird. We didn't hate as many of the cast in the original.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

this is a very strange family dynamic do you think the 'boy' is the monkey?

@davesdogmaggie #monsterdon

Schrodinger's metaphor.

#monsterdon No, I keep him in the basement, in a pit. “IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR IT FETCHES THE COFFEE DAMMIT!”

I'm speculating we'll have a pandora's box situation where Laura gets sick of Mustache Scientist being a jerk and then breaks the brain fungus monster out of its jar and then the spores inside it start eating everything.

#monsterdon

The odds that this movie passes Bechdel test keep getting lower and lower

#monsterdon

Have we ascertained why the Scientist has this woman's child?

#monsterdon

50s bras never stop being hilariously pointy.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

We have now heard the phrase "masters degree" three times in the introduction of this character.
#monsterdon

She's been hanging out in the living room for what, three weeks now?

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Twink did not want to be drafted, he had plans.

#monsterdon

Wait, this guy was in a graduate program and got drafted?

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

This will destroy all human life (I saw about the fungus in my kitchen)
#monsterdon

This movie has been paid for in part by Qorn™ chickenesque mycoprotein snack nuggets

#Monsterdon

"red blight" "fungus"
Sir it's just iron dust, Jesus Christ
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Doctor is a bitch. It's what happens when NOBODY FETCHES THE COFFEE! WENCH!

Lab security problems now
#monsterdon

Dr. Paul F Tompkins is far too busy with science to waste time on his own child

#Monsterdon

@srol Like, that's kind of the point of them, to house children.

#monsterdon

nowadays crappy government grant committees won't let you "have a lab in your home" that you "leave unlocked so that your spiteful exes ambush you on the way home from the moon to study the space samples" #monsterdon

"Hi hubby! I dropped by the orphanage on a whim and I brought home a seven year old."

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Alien life: “That gold record you sent us sucks! You earthlings have terrible taste in music!”

#monsterdon

The Space Master orbital satellite contains:

* cameras
* a monkey
* non-camera, non-monkey science equipment
* some secret box that somehow brings microbial life back from outer space, uh oh.

#monsterdon

Doc Palmer was rocking the Magnum PI look before that hack Tom Selleck was even growning his first peach fuzz.

#Monsterdon

The twink wants to see the lab....

#monsterdon

That's your problem right there! Sample return? Do you WANT to make a monster? Because that's how you get monsters. #monsterdon

Yeah ma, I got a big important job in the army pointin' at the radar

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "These are the fools who brought aliens back to Earth!"

"Believe only the truth!"

We were told this by a TV star in 1958,

Why didn't we listen back then?

We could have avoided so much hardship in the present.

#Monsterdon makes sense of the world.

"I'll hold here"

Hell, I can hold all day if it's on the taxpayer's dime. #Monsterdon

"There were many machines going ping. And there were bleeps, and blips and dooweeps. There was science left and right. There was so much sciencing you little people wouldn't understand."

#monsterdon

Ya' know what's great storytelling? Having a Narrator introduce your characters instead of letting us learn about us organically.

Always a sign of a confident script writer.

…

🙄😁

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Doctor Palmer has got an ass-kicking mustache.

#Monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for "Space Master X-7"! Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster and make fun of it. Today we are going back to the 1950s, when the space ships were phallic and every man carried a suitcase and wore a hat.

Anyway, if you don't want to see 9999+ posts by me about an old scifi movie, you may wish to mute the hash tag. if not, please to enjoy?

all those dials and tape drives, wonderful!

#monsterdon

The SpaceMaster satellite launch is very 1950s. Nice

#Monsterdon

Oh no, not... SOVIET RUSSIA

#monsterdon

"Yeah we killed a monkey, what of it?" #Monsterdon

"...the usual non-human passengers"
Monkey: "Hey! I'm right here!"

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

lol, mention of 'soviet russia'....boy does 2025 have some news for you guys!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

The narrator wants us to survive. That's nice.

Credits may as well be in an alphabet I can't read, for all of them I recognize. #monsterdon

Sah-vi-et Russia. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Tonight's #monsterdon is brought to you by a terrible DVD rip, that was telecined off an Ampex quadrature 2" broadcast videotape of questionable quality.

#monsterdon @SpaceMasterX-7

Woo, Bernie Glasser! We're in for a Sound Track™ tonight #Monsterdon

The credits vanish into the distance, but sadly the movie remains

#Monsterdon

It's a regalscope production, which means it was produced using a device for watching kings and queens.
#monsterdon

@brooke Already I feel like I'm in Space! #Monsterdon

Representing Lemmy, Mastodon's fediverse sibling! #monsterdon

https://lemmy.world/post/39212003

#Monsterdon i like the "woosh" sounds on the credits

#Monsterdon ho! We're away.

I think Guilala's roar being a sad "WARK WARK" might be the flaw that makes the rest of his design not work. He just sounds as dumb as he looks. And his rampage music isn't great either.
#Monsterdon #XFromOuterSpace

@Terencio I'm behind! For Desert Bus reasons. gimmie a couple of days :D

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

y'know, this movie knows that if you're gonna make us wait half the film for the kaiju that you should give us space lesbians in the swankiest environments possible. nailed it again, japan. never change.

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

I don’t think we’re on the moon anymore

#miru #monsterdon #thexfromouterspace

#monsterdon Japanese Sci-Fi films of a certain era using the same music as American "Teens Gone Wild*/Moral Panic/Youth Crime" movies from the same period, and frankly, wearing it much better.

*Not those ones