That's your problem right there! Sample return? Do you WANT to make a monster? Because that's how you get monsters. #monsterdon

Yeah ma, I got a big important job in the army pointin' at the radar

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "These are the fools who brought aliens back to Earth!"

"Believe only the truth!"

We were told this by a TV star in 1958,

Why didn't we listen back then?

We could have avoided so much hardship in the present.

#Monsterdon makes sense of the world.

"I'll hold here"

Hell, I can hold all day if it's on the taxpayer's dime. #Monsterdon

Ya' know what's great storytelling? Having a Narrator introduce your characters instead of letting us learn about us organically.

Always a sign of a confident script writer.

…

🙄😁

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Doctor Palmer has got an ass-kicking mustache.

#Monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for "Space Master X-7"! Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster and make fun of it. Today we are going back to the 1950s, when the space ships were phallic and every man carried a suitcase and wore a hat.

Anyway, if you don't want to see 9999+ posts by me about an old scifi movie, you may wish to mute the hash tag. if not, please to enjoy?

all those dials and tape drives, wonderful!

#monsterdon

The SpaceMaster satellite launch is very 1950s. Nice

#Monsterdon

Oh no, not... SOVIET RUSSIA

#monsterdon

"Yeah we killed a monkey, what of it?" #Monsterdon

"...the usual non-human passengers"
Monkey: "Hey! I'm right here!"

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

lol, mention of 'soviet russia'....boy does 2025 have some news for you guys!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

The narrator wants us to survive. That's nice.

Tonight's #monsterdon is brought to you by a terrible DVD rip, that was telecined off an Ampex quadrature 2" broadcast videotape of questionable quality.

#monsterdon @SpaceMasterX-7

Woo, Bernie Glasser! We're in for a Sound Track™ tonight #Monsterdon

The credits vanish into the distance, but sadly the movie remains

#Monsterdon

It's a regalscope production, which means it was produced using a device for watching kings and queens.
#monsterdon

@brooke Already I feel like I'm in Space! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon i like the "woosh" sounds on the credits

#Monsterdon ho! We're away.

I think Guilala's roar being a sad "WARK WARK" might be the flaw that makes the rest of his design not work. He just sounds as dumb as he looks. And his rampage music isn't great either.
#Monsterdon #XFromOuterSpace

y'know, this movie knows that if you're gonna make us wait half the film for the kaiju that you should give us space lesbians in the swankiest environments possible. nailed it again, japan. never change.

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

I don’t think we’re on the moon anymore

#miru #monsterdon #thexfromouterspace

#monsterdon Japanese Sci-Fi films of a certain era using the same music as American "Teens Gone Wild*/Moral Panic/Youth Crime" movies from the same period, and frankly, wearing it much better.

*Not those ones

Ball buster

#miru #thexfromouterspace #monsterdon

space lesbians reunited! :D

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

@apLundell@timeloop.cafe Gotta leave it open for a sequel... "Space Master X-7 2" ​:neocat_think_googly:​ #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon #TheXFromOuterSpace #moonbounce

she's also thinking she should be back on earth with _her_ wife

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

A shower scene? With two ladies!? Wow this really was made by a company that distributed alot of anime.
#Monsterdon #XFromOuterSpace

@patioboater To be fair I believe we *were* in the second act and there just wasn't any more

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Defied my expectations.

That's really all I can say. I'm... I .. I don't...

#monsterdon

I like the big dial set pieces, whatever they are

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

woah, her spinning desk is fly!

#monsterdon #wrongX

wrong crater, they're totally gonna miss alpha moonba... oh! there's another one! Busy moon these days, eh?

#monsterdon #WrongSpaceMaster

„Looks like a half-cooked omelette“ Just like the monster from the last movie. #monsterdon #wrongx

I didn't have enough shrooms for this film.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon

@hollie @diazona
Yah, the fungus only really hurt that stupid abuser scientist. 🤷‍♂️

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@LingLass and somebody it's the ex-wife's fault that everyone on that plane is now probably dead? Pffft! #Monsterdon

never seen pachinko mechanics used for a orbital mechanics diagramme before, but it works

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@ottaross I'm a purist and need to be certain that both non-male characters have been assigned names though #monsterdon

@Lazarou Right?! #Monsterdon

aw yeah, time for some 60s japanese space jazz

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@moira

The full name of the mission was "Space Master XN-712" apparently

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

This went a whole nother direction than I expected. But I really liked it. The mishaps leading to a giant disasater, but not from the rocket. It was the weakness due to social engineering leading to a security breach. Pretty insightful. If abrupt 😀 #Monsterdon

it's a little sad that the blood rust only made one victim (apart from the audience). It would be a truly terror if it was on a killing spree downtown LA.
#monsterdon
#spacemasterx7

okay just hit the second feature, what've i missed?

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

A #monsterdon follow up poll:

Now I’m going to have to watch the third act of something just so I can get to sleep.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon I was hopping Quentin Tarantino of the 50s but I was disappointed, typical bourgeois movie of the 50s. Boring!!

@steggy Seems like it was a negative budget, in fact

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@Lazarou
oooo another good idea!

#Monsterdon 🍄 #SpaceMasterX7

@CactuarJoe The stock footage rocket in the beginning, I think. #monsterdon

So #monsterdon has ended for another week, and I'm once again reminded that I will never be able to watch a bad movie again without wanting to post to a hashtag about it.

Thank you all for reveling in the absolute lack of anything happening in the most dishonestly named flick we've watched together yet.

Thank you all for your toots, and thank you @Taweret for the work you do!

Till next time!

@SordidAmok only the ladies though #monsterdon

@forestine @miru Meanwhile Space Master X-7 trivia: 'Over the years, some sources have regarded this as a "lost" film. A 35mm RegalScope print is maintained by UCLA.'
Should've stayed lost. #monsterdon

@klu9 Yep, I'm watching "The X From Outer Space (1967, Japanese audio with hardcoded English subtitles)" which had a very fast paced nonlinear opening with school kids, a kaiju, and Earth and other spaceships buzzing each other. Seems like a very apt follow-up! #Monsterdon

Not the worst movie we've ever had. After we killed off the addhole doc, it just kinda ... simmered. A rather bland fungus.

All the effort they went through to bring the "love child" into the stage wings, ready to appear, but never brought him out. Just dropped after the doc dies.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Another mysterious box of some random stuff from space? This is a remake!
#Monsterdon #XFromOuterSpace #WrongX

#Monsterdon

I wonder if someone opened a dictionary at one point, discovered that rust was a type of fungus, and dashed the script off in an afternoon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust_(fungus)

@paco but the right week to start smoking fungus

#Monsterdon

Movie needed some Tough Actin' Tinactin

anyway, g'night monster fans! #monsterdon

Every week we're all watching these flicks expecting some kind of wrap-up or ending and every week like Charlie Brown running to kick the football we end up flat on our backs. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

I lost bingo for the movie lacking any loving relationships. #TeamFungus #monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

How is the damn Blood Rust fungus growing on everything EXCEPT Laura?

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

RE: https://retro.pizza/@CactuarJoe/115602486394911544

Don't forget to vote on your way out of the theater! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon well i think we can all agree on one thing: this was still LOADS better than 'the magnetic monster'

I’m not planning on watching the whole movie that Miru is streaming next, but this opening music is catchy

#Monsterdon

Everyone sure is calm for folks sitting on a pile of man-eating fungus! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon *oof* that's not good for the props

it was way better than I was expecting after mustache doctor rusted to death. Genuine tension in parts and the fungus covering the airplane windows was a legit frightening image. And then suddenly "The rust died on its way back to its home planet." #monsterdon

This fungus did not pass the Stamets test. (the Discovery one, not the real one) #monsterdon

Anyway, this concludes my #monsterdon thread for "Space Master X-7" a movie that was basically fine but came with a questionable Aesop.

Until next week, um, don't bring any deadly fungal spores back from space I guess.

#Monsterdon there's a fungus among us

I'm assuming they didn't get it all and the Blood Rust fungus is slowly enveloping the planet.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#monsterdon

The world was nearly destroyed because a woman dyed her hair. EXCITEMENT!

Thanks @Taweret , @Cherizilla , et al..

And another Monsterdon comes to a close. Well, the first movie does, anyway.

That was a lot of fun, fam. I really enjoy this Monsterdon stuff when it's not Dracula Prisoner of Frankenstein.

See y'all next week, and don't forget to vote tomorrow! Goodnight!

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

And https://miru.miyaku.media/ saves the day, probably. The X From Outer Space (1967) playing now! #monsterdon

That's .... it?
#Monsterdon

this was the most uninpressive crash landing ever.
Even in flight simulator they can do things a little more thrilling
#monsterdon
#spacemasterx7

So what happened? Is everyone going to be all right? #monsterdon

They tried to pack a lot of tension into a small amount of action. I think they did a reasonable job of it, but they needed to cut 5-10 minutes to pull it off properly.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Well, they definitely have to burn the plane now

#monsterdon

#monsterdon It's not a ship, it's a plane.

The movie fucked off before it could fuck off into the sea.
ANyway I am more excited for The X From Outer Space! Love a good cheese kaiju movie. Especially one made by a studio that never made a monster movie before, and never made one afterwards.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

Another good time at the old #monsterdon!

I probably would've written fewer complimentary posts about the movie if I knew in advance they forgot to have an ending. #monsterdon

I think the blood rust fucked off into the sea when they were still over the ocean, and the whole world is doomed.

And no questions were answered.

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@Taweret that movie had some trouble with pacing and stakes but it was still a good time tbh

#monsterdon

... and it just ends, with the passengers being bussed off to the decon showers? There's a plane with fungus all over it that was likely dropping spores *everywhere* as it came into a landing.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

oh. and

-fin

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

The end. Seriously, we ran out of ideas about what would happen next #monsterdon

Wait was that the end?
These abrupt endings always get me

#Monsterdon 🍄 #SpaceMasterX7

wtf kind of plot was that?!

#monsterdon

So we have to burn the plane, the airstrip, all the land under the plane as it came in, the bus load of passengers, the-- WAIT YOU CAN'T END IT THERE! You need a scene saying we cleaned it all up? YOu did not stop the space infestation you fools!
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

#monsterdon WHOA wait up you can't just slap a Regalscope sticker on it and call it a day where's the narrator to tell us what we just watched?!

lol, that's it?

#monsterdon