Gar kinda sucks. I mean, Tony isn't great either.

#monsterdon

Ever get the feeling that a mentos commercial is going to break out any second?

#monsterdon

The Old Fairchild Farm what is THAT fuck that it is a place

#monsterdon

[smash cut to a scene in a hot tub with two guys talking about Bigfoot]

oh, come on now!

#monsterdon

"blow it's brains out" is still ambiguous, after all #monsterdon

Day 2 on #monsterdon: gonna find bigfoot and shoot him

you have a fuckin bigfoot/yeti expert journalist on scene and she isn't the protagonist???? #monsterdon

"Who says?" "_Top_. men."

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

OMINOUS ZOOM

#Monsterdon

It wasnt an animal

It wasnt a human

It was a character actor

#monsterdon

@brooke Hey hey hey, Jennifer got there first. #Monsterdon

@strangefour My sister pointed out this is like the forced perspective scenes with Gandalf and Frodo in LOTR

#Monsterdon

@moira This movie could definitely use some evil lesbians

#monsterdon
#snowbeast

i thought the last movie i saw Yvette Mimieux in was THE BLACK HOLE but it turns out it was DISASTER ON THE COASTLINER, which i don't even remember lol #monsterdon

He's so tall... I envy his bigness.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

@bunnyhero That's a peculiar form of snow blindness, also 100% understandable #Monsterdon

I always talk to my friends about sexual realities.

#Monsterdon

lol, he is fucking tall though, the ski suit just makes him look ridiculous. Fuck only knows how the AI Tubi version makes him look....

#monsterdon

Is that a Thunderbirds costume he's wearing? #monsterdon

I bet the snow beast isn't sitting around talking about marriage problems. they're probably doing something cool rn

#monsterdon

Naturally I get interrupted by a phonecall. Apparently the monster "appears" in the first few minute?

#monsterdon #snowbeast

Gar also won a gold medal for showing up at awkward moments #Monsterdon

"...a marriage can survive a lot of things"
-Snowbeast bursts through the wall like the Kool-Aid guy-
"But it can't survive SNOWBEAST!"

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

The real snowbeast is infidelity #monsterdon

Movies punching above its weight class for marriage relationship problems in 1977

#monsterdon #SnowBeast

I'm very impressed, Tony. You're a real man, not like Gar. Gar is such a jobless idiot. I've been having fantasies about you. About you, getting rid of Gar if you know what I mean. Fuck Gar! But not literally, because he doesn't satisfy me in bed, Tony. Where was I?

#Monsterdon

✅ Coffee is Served #monsterdon

I wonder what the snow beast is up to

#monsterdon

"I was afraid of seeing you again"
"Well that was sensible"

#monsterdon #snowbeast

Wow she's pretty quick on the draw with offering herself up

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe clearly the snowbeast is a guy wearing a costume trying to destroy the festival, a la scooby doo

#monsterdon

What did I think would happen? Why gonorrhea, of course. #monsterdon

This conversation is gross. get back to the monster killing people please.

#Monsterdon

The kid's traumatized at seeing such unconvincing stage blood #monsterdon

@SarraceniaWilds the lesbian couple got attacked right off the bat 😔 #monsterdon

@SordidAmok "but then again who does?" #wrongMovie #Monsterdon

Marshall McLuhan.txt #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Excellent camerawork here, obviously the kid is a demon

John - does he live? I'm guessing no.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe this logic is ruining my immersion

(not really)

#Monsterdon

It’s the middle of a hot Monday in Australia, I’m done with work and shopping, and I get to experience #monsterdon vicariously. Perfect.

@floatybirb I don't think they could vibe because it was the 70s. They would have to groove or grok or peace out or something.

#Monsterdon

Wait, so

The yeti kills a girl

drags her halfway across the frozen wastes -- SOMEHOW without leaving a trail

and leaves her body IN A BARN?

Why? #Monsterdon

Ah yes, the brass band on the mountain, as all ski resorts have de rigeur

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "RILL LODGE" / "Crested Butte"

heh heh heh butte

@ohiofi if he even has a mask. Just a monster arm so far. #Monsterdon

she didn't pizza either I guess

#monsterdon

Faceplant! Hahaha

#monsterdon

When your Ski Patrol dude wipes out... reassuring!

Oh wait - nvm, he's snackfood for the #Snowbeast1977 now anyway 😵💀🪦 #monsterdon

Red screen for character death.

#Snowbeast ❄️ 👹#Monsterdon

lol, horizontal land standing in for near vertical?

LOL @ clown skiier's cliffhanging freeze frame death

It feels so earnest as well....lovely...

#monsterdon

Maybe the snowbeast will come help him

... oops, guess not

#monsterdon

The first rule of Ski Patrol is don't crash. The second rule of Ski Patrol is obey orders. The third rule of Ski Patrol is don't get eaten by the snowbeast.

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

SNOWBEAST HEADPATS #monsterdon

That fade to red! 😱

#monsterdon #snowbeast

PAUSE AND SLOW FADE TO BRIGHT RED LMAO

#monsterdon

Snowbeasts love kids, their favourite light snack!
#monsterdon

Well done ski patrol, right off the cliff

#monsterdon #SnowBeast

@floatybirb I miss sweater ladies! also white shorts ladies also... #Monsterdon

Okay, we get it movie. The dude skied a really long distance. Can we get a little wibbly wobbly effect and just say "time passed"? #monsterdon

Big shout out to the camera crew on skis too

#monsterdon #SnowBeast

I like to snowmobile to the top of a slope, so I can ski down, then I guess buy a new snowmobile to go get my abandoned one and then DO IT AGAIN

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

#Monsterdon ❄️ #Snowbeast1977 Even in 1977, would skiers obey a RESTRICTED AREA sign?

The signs could say "all the people you can eat: 24H buffet just down the slope" #Monsterdon

Oh. Good snowmobile action. Nice ascent of a hill there.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

@socketwench if grandma is the snowbeast that would be a perfect plot twist #Monsterdon

"I offer myself as a human snackrifice!" #Monsterdon

I mean you know the time and money you would have to spend to get a mess of "Beware Snowbeast" signs #Monsterdon

Somebody says something intense

*listener is confused*

*long snowmobile shot*

I think I get it, can I skip 90% of the movie now?

#Monsterdon

The signs should say, "HEY SNOWBEAST, TASTY PEOPLE JUST HALF A MILE DOWN THE SLOPE"

You know, to get him to come out and show himself

#monsterdon
#snowbeast

Yeah do a burnout in your snowmobile

#monsterdon #SnowBeast

Granted, I haven't been able to follow too much of the conversation between these chipmunks at 2x speed, but Sylvia Sydney is the only character that is remotely engaging to me as yet.

The very tall fella is very tall, though?

#Monsterdon

@hollie not yeti maybe later #Monsterdon

@ottaross Seemed to have worked for him anyway 😆 or rather, seeing his hot wife did #Monsterdon ❄️ #Snowbeast1977

"It was an avalance Scott. AN AVALANCE. Now no more talk of man eating beasts that would scare the tourists. Listen to grandma. This snow beach stays open."
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

@nhgeek I don't think they invented not hitting on women until the 1980's

#Monsterdon

This movie came out two years after Jaws. Can you tell?
#Monsterdon

"Does he still wear his gold medals to bed?"

Overt gay reference? Is that a bingo square?

#Monsterdon

Classic love triangle snow monster story #Monsterdon

I miss the old days when women polished their lips to a luxurious high gloss. #Monsterdon

"I've forgotten how beautiful you are..."

3 audible groans in our living room.

#Monsterdon

@socketwench I like her more already!

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

Man, every monster movie was just Jaws for years and years and years afterwords, huh #Monsterdon

We’re gonna need a bigger snowmobile

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

"Tony, I'm not being insensitive..."

By which I mean, I am in fact being totally insensitive, but screw it, we have to keep the carnival open!

#Monsterdon

I totally realize she's in the wrong, but she's SUCH a better actor than Tony it's tough not to be convinced. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌨️ ❄️ 🦍 👣 ❄️😱

Oh we all have to worry about Tony.

i’m hoping grandma kills that snow monster #Monsterdon

@allanb or in this movie getting plaid #samesies #Monsterdon

i hope the matriarch has her own private goon squad to take care of this insolent grandson character #monsterdon

You can't cancel the orgy! It is the only thing that keeps this city going!!
#monsterdon

so this is Snow Jaws in fact

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

Sylvia Sidney. That's who.

#monsterdon

Nana is playing the Mayor of Amity role. #Monsterdon

Gar's hair ... looks queer

in fact everyone's hair looks queer now that I'm looking

#monsterdon

Smoking Voice Lady is like the teacher in an Acting Class, trying to get these losers to at least pass at the end of term

#monsterdon

This is made-for-TV. So not much gore gonna show up. #Monsterdon

Snowbeast has to wait for you to conveniently stop skiing at 65mph and stop somewhere nearby, then jump you by surprise, or else he can't snackya.

#Monsterdon

This movie is definitely not just a reskinned Jaws

#monsterdon

Carrie Rill is stealing all my riff lines #monsterdon