Evil Knievel, sharpshooter, husband of Bigfoot journalist

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

Helps if you are a good skier to avoid being eaten by BigFoot
#monsterdon

@JamesAkers @Taweret it mayo

#monsterdon

So the yeti's stalking Reporter Wife... Does that make it a love diamond? Do you think that's a bunny slope? #Monsterdon

Unfortunately, when you're alone, you do need to be faster than the yeti.

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

LISTEN TO THE MUSIC HELEN! #monsterdon #snowbeast

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌨️ ❄️ 🦍 👣 ❄️😱

Helen just did the greatest wipeout ever filmed 🏆

Are they just skiing down the same slope again and again?

#monsterdon

The Abominable Snowcrash #monsterdon

I want the snowbeast to lash the skis of it's victims into a giant set of snowbeast skis, raft style.
#Monsterdon

Why does the soundtrack keep farting

#monsterdon

Uhoh she did a random face plant whilst skiing that means she's done for! #Monsterdon

@Taweret Hopefully it doesn't ketchup

#monsterdon

Everyone's so clean-shaven
#monsterdon

And sudden dark
#Monsterdon

the snowbeast can't eat unhappy wife ellen, that would be like eating your nemesis, afterwards you would have no reason to live. the snowbeast will merely present itself to her as a taunt and then disappear before she can get a photo to drive the wedge in her marriage ever deeper until she has no choice but to be the snowbride #monsterdon

I need a nap.

#monsterdon

Did the guys get the signs up on the slopes yet? #Monsterdon

So now that we've decided on the lie we're gonna tell, because THAT never goes wrong... #Monsterdon

Complete stranger just asks the giant to lie to his wife and he was so quick to agree....SO quick.

#monsterdon

@springdiesel Yeah but nobody follows trope rules in #Monsterdon

Thankfully for us in the audience, otherwise this movie would be real short

All these stands of aspen are really neat, I would risk snowbeast death to check em out

#monsterdon

There you go, boot pack it out of there. #monsterdon

Don't worry, Ellen.

That's just more of those fake, novelty joke monster roars.

#Monsterdon

Watching lots of downhill skiing and snowmobiling, but I'm not clear on how they're getting up to the top of the slope, since I haven't seen a lift #monsterdon

Bear slander???? #acab #monsterdon

How was Tony supposed to identify faceless woman? Huh, cop?

#monsterdon

so if the journalist lady dies, the big swede and the shorter mullet guy can have their happy ever after, right? (^_^)
#Monsterdon

cops are UTTERLY PREPARED for coverup, so. #monsterdon

Do I hear jaws music????
#Monsterdon

Are we gonna get stock footage of the Paterson Gimlen footage? Enough talk of a Bigfoot documentary that it almost should.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

@starkraving666 We can, they're just difficult to tell apart visually.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

@Ayyyydrew like, what fires a gun? #Monsterdon

skis are making for kinda crap snowshoes aren't they #monsterdon

youve also lost most of your audience TBH #monsterdon

"...so-called Bigfoots”
“Wouldn't that be Bigfeet?"

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

FOOTPRINTS

#Monsterdon

Oh so Jennifer IS a body.

Just no face.

Well, okay.

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

@combatwombat she should have never taken off those skis

#monsterdon

huderds of dem Bigfoots roamin

#monsterdon

Wait. Is yarn hat lady hunting the monster? #Monsterdon

Why can't we have a woman bigfoot #monsterdon #snowbeast1977

#Monsterdon
#Snowbeast1977

Those Scott goggles must come in extra handy if your name is Scott.

Tell me about your... thing #Monsterdon

MAIWIFE #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌨️ ❄️ 🦍 👣 ❄️😱

OK this part is true - there are Bigfoot | Sasquatch all over the place.

#theMoreYouKnow

@wohali @nev I feel it'd be #Fe0000 #AddChemistryRuinAgoodRGBJoke #Monsterdon

Who is currently in the tracks of the beast???
Tra la la la
#Monsterdon

The proper Cascadian sasquatch is in Cascadia, yes, but this isn't a Cascadian sasquatch, this is a Rocky Mountain sasquatch. _Obviously_.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

Snow matter what, skiing is always fun. #monsterdon

hundreds of bigfoot roaming the country #monsterdon

ah, that's a PNW monster we need to consult our local creature population #monsterdon

Sisters: maybe it's the grinch and the town was Whoville all along

#Monsterdon

Bigfoot title dro--- oh right the movie name is dumber.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

So if he couldn't tell the sheriff, no reason to just call the police and report a woman has likely been killed? Might as well have lunch with an old fling instead.

#monsterdon

The Giant speaks of Bigfoot like he's related to them.....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon decides

Big foot, sure, why not.
#monsterdon

Another skiing montage

Wil this one end badly?

#Monsterdon

First rule of the wilderness is You Do Not Go Alone!

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

I'm waiting for the monster to grab her head like a melon.

#Monsterdon

Coal's not a grizzly. Coal is a rock.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

I think the snowbeast is fine with people but just really hates skis. #Monsterdon

Okay but I unironically love her big fluffy knit hat and matching ski onesie.

#monsterdon #snowbeast

#Monsterdon 🌨️ ❄️ 🦍 👣 ❄️😱

Yvette. What the heck?? You follow the tracks, you're gonna find a monster

Yes, by all means follow those footprints that definitely were made by something weighing more than five pounds #Monsterdon

okay somebody's working the sound this time, you got the first roar that turned out to be wind, then you got a real distant roar that wasn't. that's decent sound work.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

keep expecting a mean kid to ski by yelling I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS #Monsterdon

ah, the 70's, when you could match your eyeshadow to your luridly coloured ski suit

#Monsterdon

Do you know how hard it is to run in ski boots? ESPECIALLY in the snow?

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

#Monsterdon please eat the bitterly married reporter lady

gah jesus, don't switch from a dark room to bright snow, I don't need to be flashbanged D: #Monsterdon

My sister: "Tony why would you lie to us your trusting audience? We're on your side"

Me: "Are we though"

Sis agrees we are not

#Monsterdon

@yatsu Cop werewolves in the snow maybe? Augh, this is gonna bug me now and I have to decide if I wan to look this up or watch the movie...book titles always win though...

#Monsterdon

Big foot sightings?
#Monsterdon

The yeti has fallen arches #monsterdon

Snowbeast ain't gonna eat these people. Snowbeast is vegan.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

All these guys need to unclench their jaws and enunciate. #Monsterdon

No Snowbeast. Only skiing. Looking up skiing puns to while away the time https://punsuniverse.com/ski-puns/ #monsterdon

This skiing festival IS on a mountain, right?

That'd be a neat thing to see at some point.
#Monsterdon

I wonder how many briefs Sheriff Paraday wears?

#monsterdon
#Snowbeast

#Monsterdon 🌨️ ❄️ 🦍 👣 ❄️😱

"It's pretty obvious she hasn't been murdered - only humans murder and whatever did that wasn't human" umm have you not kept up with the news, friend?

@Louisa watch out for the weresnowbeast break

#monsterdon

Cop jackets haven’t changed much #Monsterdon

@brooke Sometimes I think I know better and try to bypass the montage but it never works out

#Monsterdon

"Maybe I'll recognize her when I see her face."
"She doesn't have one."

This is a killer line but sadly not original; I recognize it from Gertrude Atherton's "The Striding Place" (PDF: https://loa-shared.s3.amazonaws.com/static/pdf/Atherton_Striding_Place.pdf)

#Monsterdon

ah, identified by convenient color-matching clothing #monsterdon

@BsCreativeLife "gonna take a little tiiime a little time to think things ovvvveeeerrrr🎶" I'm sorry you had to hear that! #Monsterdon

I don't think Tony or Gar or even grandma are going to turn out to be were-snowbeasts, but isn't that a great idea for a movie, the dangerous animal they're all fighting turns out to be one of them and the were-snowbeast doesn't even know it

#Monsterdon

This lady is speed running natural selection. #Monsterdon

taking off your skis when there is a snowbeast around is the snow movie equivalent of "let's split up" #monsterdon

"Maybe I'll recognize her face."
". . . She. . . doesn't have one."
*cut to CSI detective murder show intro theme*
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

@Taweret this move is called tater tots

#monsterdon

#monsterdon product placement on the skis, boots, and bindings?

Men meeting in barns.....never a good sign....tell the ship Psychic Perm Lady, tell the ship!

#monsterdon #TheBlackHole

flared ski pants are usually flared so you can get them over the boots, sure.

but they aren't usually that TIGHT up at the thighs and hips!!!

#monsterdon

I just get where the snowbeast came from? it just appeared one day and started killing people at this ski resort?

#monsterdon

@lytta oh, no there she is! just weird camera choices

#monsterdon