Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the garden

#monsterdon

Raced home from a family gathering, unloaded groceries, talked with Mum far too briefly, got Slugs rolling just in time

#monsterdon

Of course SLUGS write in cursive
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon yesssss

Horror movies LOVE playing the Loon sound effect #monsterdon

#Monsterdon eat the annoying dude!

lol, why is she going swimming in her panties?

#Monsterdon

@aaron
Be careful. That’s how I got sucked in. The comments were funny and I had to go find out what it was about. 75 terrible movies later… #monsterdon

One last thing - that was based on a book. Slugs, by Shaun Hutson. It has a Wikipedia page which, and I quote "has multiple issues". Somehow that seems apropos.

#monsterdon

OK time to eat some pizza way better than what was in Slugs and watch something way better than Slugs

#Monsterdon

Be glad for small mercies: at least there wasn’t a giant queen slug in the heart of the slug nest!
#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this slimy slog!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! Never thought I would see "Gardening Equipment" next to "Butt" except in a bad porn movie.

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: Hadn't laughed this hard in a long time. Evidence is mounting in the Monsterdon database that coherent anti-monster plans only appear in Kaiju movies. Getting up in the middle of the night? Step lightly.

@binford2k but they missed the opportunity to specify that it should be a dark, moist place... #monsterdon

@allanb @moira @Taweret wow that must have been 5000 really disappointed movie-goers #monsterdon #slugs1988

@Terencio I don't think he did unless he was standing over a manhole at the time
Poor Pam

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐌 🐌 🐌 💀 🩸 😱

thank you @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for bingo and @JoeWynne for trivia

even though I'm far away from home it was nice to share #Monsterdon with @jivens especially, and thanks to all you #monsterdonians for making it fun!

@CactuarJoe I've got the weirdest appetite.... #Monsterdon

Just think, there could have been salt...

Thanks as always @Taweret for hosting and everyone for posting!

#Monsterdon

That last teen death is still pissing me off. #monsterdon

@SordidAmok they replicate in the way that White Male Leads did in that movie #Monsterdon

Was exploding half the town really the best solution they could think of? #Monsterdon

SLUGS (1988) 3/5

a bunch of joyless shovelware. 1 star for existing and 2 stars for the ONE TIME we were shown a slug having a big bitey mouth.

#monsterdon #monsterdonReviews

Thanks to @Taweret for all the slow moving horror!

I hope everyone has a great week and remembers that salt is a thing, and that anchovy in salad is a bad idea for a variety of reasons!

Slime ya later

#Monsterdon #Slugs1988

@allanb @Taweret and every dollar hard-earned

by the audience

#monsterdon #slugs1988

Thanks @Taweret #monsterdon

this club has everything

slugs

idiots

fools

more slugs

sewer fires

uh

#monsterdon #slugs1988

the hell part of this was filmed in Madrid, Spain????
#monsterdon

The music tells me this isn't the end of a movie, it's the end of an episode of Moonlighting

#Monsterdon

Moral of the Story:

If you're ever bitten by something say LOUD and CLEAR: "Something BIT me!"

#Monsterdon

Ah, I believe it’s Blood Freak. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Freak
#Monsterdon

Oh! A slug survived. No one could have foreseen that. #monsterdon

Anyway, that was a movie all right. Thanks for the commentary.

#monsterdon #slugs

wait, did the rapist ever get his comeuppance? #monsterdon

Huh. I thought Don was gonna be the survivor

#monsterdon

And then everyone in town who wasn't blown up ate salad and screwed until dawn. Made it through this time. Couldn't have done it without #Monsterdon. Thanks again to @Taweret for hosting. Have a great week kids and WASH THOSE GREENS. #Slugs1988

#monsterdon Not even "The End" card, just the credits. But that's fine. It wasn't as gory as I was expecting, bleh. But still a fun trip. Not enough of the cast was dispatched, goddammit. ;)

man what the fuck even was this movie
#monsterdon

This is a supervillain origin story if I've ever seen one

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐌 🐌 🐌 💀 🩸 😱

Everything's OK again <-- this music

until suddenly

Everything's not OK again <-- this other music

I'm going to suggest this has now taken bottom spot for worst Monsterdon movie this year.

#Monsterdon

Okay, sequel bait. I guess

#monsterdon #slugs

OH NO, there's one slug remaining!!!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon slugs live! bwahahahahahahaha

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #Slugs, from 1988, showed us what happens when a town runs out of salt. We also had:

Where's Alice when you need her? Getting drunk and horny with Sam the butcher?

#monsterdon

Are... Are they grilling the last slug there? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon and with that, the worst fake British accent in cinematic history exists the film.

Isn't it handy that the whole sewer system was filled with explosives

#Monsterdon

for once I am begging for an abrupt ending

please do not make me endure denouement with these characters I do not care about

#Monsterdon

This movie would be 1000% better if the English scientist were Matt Berry.

#Monsterdon #Slugs

Slugs 2: Electric Boogaloo

#Monsterdon #Slugs

Don knew what he was getting himself into, we all saw it, we all know it, we know what kind of man Don was, and now all we can do is celebrate him

#Monsterdon #Slugs1988

Thanks for a movie everyone! That was Slugs courtesy of @healyn . We will get our revenge!

Thanks always to @Taweret and our merry band of jokesters and supporters.

See you next week for some less-sluggish action, right? RIght? Get it?

I'll see myself out. 😉

#monsterdon

checks time There's still time for another totally unnecessary sex scene

#Monsterdon

OMG, this dialog is horrible! Or the delivery. Both!

"We could have never done it without him, Mike."

"That's a small comfort now."

#Monsterdon

Slugs filmed during the little known 1987 Upstate New York Salt Shortage #Monsterdon

Problem fixed
#monsterdon

Did they consider instead making a movie where it would make sense to blow a bunch of things up?

#monsterdon #slugs1988

the slow-mo fire and the explosions are definitely making up for some of this movie's shortfalls

(some, not all)

#Monsterdon

god but this movie has great corpses to puncutate its absolutely dogshit story beats

#Monsterdon

Fire fixes everything

#monsterdon #slugs

WE NUKED THIS CITY

WE NUKED THIS CITY FOR

ALL THE SLUUUU-UUUUUUUUUGS

#monsterdon #slugs1988

These actors are working SO hard. Those poor bastards. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐌 🐌 🐌 💀 🩸 😱

Glad they slo-mo-ed the flail fall into the slug infested sewer water

That's some impressive acrobatics, though

#monsterdon #slugs

Oh no! not don!!!!!!

{which one was don???}

#monsterdon

CALLED IT! #Monsterdon

see? what did i tell you? #monsterdon

Called it , Don's a goner....

#Monsterdon

I'm just waiting for the Brit to get drunk and horny

#monsterdon

That's what killer slugs need, a "distraction."

#Monsterdon

chumming for slugs

#Monsterdon

80's horror movies 🤝 level-based video games

{SEWER LEVEL}

#monsterdon

Dollars to donuts the prop guy stole his daughter's "Creepy Crawler" toy to make all the slugs.

#Monsterdon

@trixter i forgot where this was supposed to be because of the dubbing #Monsterdon

I'm still wondering if the slugs and the chuds know each other

#Monsterdon

I wonder if these guys have half-masks instead of full-masks so that they get a slug to the eye

#monsterdon #slugs

also uh, I think maybe the town should re-think that really good deal on electrical cable

#Monsterdon

This "electricity" reminds me of the effects in Hellraiser (1987), a movie…much better than this one

#Monsterdon

London John is here for you

#Monsterdon

I cannot believe Slugs is only 90 minutes. I feel like we've been watching this for 4 hours #Monsterdon

*ZAP*

#monsterdon #slugs

I doubt there is plenty of ventilation

#Monsterdon

"Jeez, it's worse than I thought!"

Yeah that's like the third time they've re-used that shot, it's getting really bad. #Monsterdon

Poor Pam....

#Monsterdon

I think I missed something responding to science questions. Did he seriously sexually assault her in screen? And chase her?

Or did he just drive her away?

Either way, YIKES, movie, WTF.

#Monsterdon

We just gotta make it through 30 more minutes....

#Monsterdon #Slugs

Honey, I'm going to go kill man-eating slugs but when I get back we can get naked and crazy.

#Monsterdon

hopefully the would-be rapists still get slugged…

#Monsterdon

I'm perversely pleased that the "good girl" who says no to drugs, sex, and, uh, pizza also gets indiscriminately devoured by the slugs. In the end, slugs come for all

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐌 🐌 🐌 💀 🩸 😱

why is there always a sexual assault in these movies dangit

oh i see. definitely slam your high heeled shoe into this man's temple and take off, ma'am. #monsterdon

@paul_griffin BEER! That’s what they need to bait the slugs!! #monsterdon

"it's as easy as herding slugs!" #monsterdon

Set designer: “I’m thinking we should make it look like an after-school special“
#monsterdon

"It's a Halloween party! How can you not be having fun?"

"Well, the music sucks, no one is wearing a costume, and you don't understand that 'no' means 'no.'"

#Monsterdon

Is he putting that mask on to have a wank in the woods?

#Monsterdon

this guy keeps making fun of the PPE equipment. but he's the exact type of guy to go "hell yeah" after Breaking Bad airs.

#monsterdon

It's GMC sewage truck so everything's going to be OK

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon the lady said she doesn't want to party >:-(

kill all the kids except her