THIS is some Dracula shit, all those other draculas ought to be ashamed

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon BLAH!!

He’s not the stealthiest vampire. #Monsterdon

NICE lighting on that blacula attack

#monsterdon

bonk bonk on the brainpan

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

@yatsu well if it's red maybe hole-y cow?! #ThatDbeLeather ... HOLE Y COW! #Monsterdon

Now that was a Dracula Pounce!
#monsterdon

oops. hello again, Blacula. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon JUMP SCARE

@moira "Chief?" "MCCLOUD!?" #Monsterdon

Wait, Willis didn’t move to another house and you clearly have been here before, so how does this house “give you the creeps?” #monsterdon

A long sleeved dress and a turtle neck collar? That's vampire chow.

#Monsterdon

this bro is like the tweens taht say they wanna be a vampire but then get upset they cant go outside during the day

#monsterdon

Resident Evil-ass house #Monsterdon

I really want a Maniac Mansion like game set in this movie's universe.

#monsterdon

@yatsu
And some of those things still have remnants on it.

#Monsterdon

so many patterns of wallpaper and cloth
dazzles the eyOH SHIT FUCK

#monsterdon

Screw you Dracula. His name is Prince Mamuwalde.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

Dude's gonna run into an ongoing production of Clue coming the other way down the stairs. #Monsterdon

I want friends who will break into my dimly lit house and try to drag me out to a party. #lifegoals

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon how much hairspray does it take to make her hair do that?

is that why we had the ozone hole?

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 😱

Dashiki!

Good housekeepers though.

#Monsterdon

I hate it when you hire a house-sitter, and they set ancient bones on fire on the floor to your sitting room. #Monsterdon

I'm not sold on the decor, but damn I love the warm wooden walls of the house #Monsterdon

that sofa has 100% Seen Things. #monsterdon

Someone who lives in a house like this is already a vampire, they just don't know it yet

#monsterdon

Now I want that self-rotating globe of some planet or other
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Kinda dig the art direction on this one folks

#Monsterdon ooh i want a giant globe in my study

also i want a study

And crawling. On the planets face. Some insects called the human race. #Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

look at that red vinyl sofa. holy cow. #monsterdon

It’s dashiki time already? #Monsterdon

Daphne, you look around down here. I'm going upstairs. Shaggy, Scoob, you guys check the kitchen. #monsterdon

Wait does that count as a character saying the name of the movie?

#monsterdon

They entered of their own will

#monsterdon
#ScreamBlackulaScream

"This place gives me the creeps."

*they immediately split up to cover more ground*

Not long for this world

#Monsterdon

Dude is rocking the 70s flare sleeve Dashiki

#Monsterdon

Good lord ma'am, you've got some serious support on those things. Flying buttresses of a bra right there. #Monsterdon

She has the right of it, I wouldn't want to go up there alone either.

#Monsterdon

Oh this guy with the loudest monochrome wardrobe is the Renfield. I prefer Black Torgo, but you have a plucky can do attitude.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

How does the mirror know not to reflect his clothes also? #monsterdon

@diazona @berniethewordsmith that's why i always read them (he lies)!
#Monsterdon

Is he dressed like spiderman?

#monsterdon

better not be walkin' in there without some protective gris gris!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon What if the reason the vampire was skeptical is because vampires use one another as mirrors and are used to be harsh critics with each other

@cheribaker wood panelled? #monsterdon

Pam Grier fans, be sure to check out TCM's podcast series about her (Season 4)

#Monsterdon

https://www.tcm.com/articles/Programming%20Article/021880/tcm-presents-the-plot-thickens

I don't think that white woman was in Vampire Lovers (1970) but it feels like she wants to be

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

@nev@bananachips.club Need to summon a demon to paint a quick portrait of you instead.

#monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

@yogajedi well topologically they both have genus 0, so YES! #iWasToldThereDbeNoMath #Monsterdon

Food's here! #Monsterdon

@trixter Dracula like, "See? I'm CLEVER!" #Monsterdon

Just tell the dude how he looks! #Monsterdon

OMG it's the Canyonero

#monsterdon
#ScreamBlackulaScream

@berniethewordsmith @WhiskeySailor to be fair I'm pretty sure he didn't even read the terms and conditions in the first place

#Monsterdon

"Blackula. How do I look?"
The most 70s my man.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

I’m glad I’m getting the previously on Blacula segment because unfortunately I missed it! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 😱

Blackula's under-the-collar bow tie is also pretty fab

Why was their no skip button for that part? #Monsterdon

"A vampire, like myself. Except Black. That's wordplay, you see."

#monsterdon

"Bosnia Hertzogovinia!?" What the hell happened to Transylvania? #monsterdon

Sounds like this is all whitey's fault #monsterdon

#Monsterdon yes, this station wagon will serve the master well

But enough of that, let's drive out to the suburbs! #Monsterdon

ohhh laws that station wagon

#Monsterdon

Boy, being a vampire is great! I can't wait to enjoy this finest wine and steak dinner, costs me thousands!
:oh_no:

#Monsterdon

ok so you would think that vampires would have worked something out for mirrors, they do have to look presentable to blend in with people and get blood and stuff. it makes perfect sense that checking out each other's look would be a very normal part of vampire culture, like you wouldn't think twice you would just fix up someone else's look because you know they can't see it and every bit of blending in is good for the vampire cause, more blood for everyone, lower risk. #monsterdon

@WhiskeySailor

#monsterdon

*Email sound*

We updated the terms and conditions of your vampire*

I guess of all the things an old white dude could have named his new vampire, "Blacula" is about the least worst.

#monsterdon

@akamran Aren't we all though

#Monsterdon

Looks at globe.

"Wisconsin! I've never been to Wisconsin."

--Blacula

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 😱

It's not just the suit, it's the *tailoring* of the suit holy cow

Last time on Blacula! #Monsterdon

LAST TIME, ON BLACULA #Monsterdon

Previously. On Blackula. #Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

@ottaross yeh, this is the "previously on Blackula" segment

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

LAST TIME on BLACULA!

#monsterdon

Oooh, is the globe a bar?

Oh, no. A palantir.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Whose parenting book did he read - Vlad the Impaler's?

Serve you? Well that’s just… #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Previously, on Blacula"

"I can't see my face, when I'm with me🎶 " #WtongSong #Monsterdon

This is the "found out" part.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

"Now. Tell me about _microprocessors._"

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

That was the best way to say "you're grounded!" ever #Monsterdon

@nev Immortality just isn 't worth the cost.

#monsterdon

Do da de do da de blraaawq

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Cool cool cool

I think this guy buys his clothes at Dan Flashes. #Monsterdon

Your "old lady" may get "dead on your case", but Blacula will get UNdead on your case. #Monsterdon

Someone didn't read the terms of agreement on that ritual!
#Monsterdon

Blackula you are wearing that tie wrong... but it looks really good on you. So carry on.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

Lol sartorial tantrum. He keeps saying face but I know it's his outfit he wants to see.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

So do we think this is a universe that actually includes the Dracula novel? Or ANY adaptation of the story?

Since we know this is a universe that does contain the actual Dracula, and all... 🤔

So is Willis justified it not having any genre savviness about the results of getting vamped?

#Monsterdon

The also don't seem to matter as much?

#monsterdon

This one has a topless hero, interpersonal conflict, DRAMATIC LIGHTNING, and violence to small animals in the first eight minutes!

Blackula, like Brahm Stoker's Dracula, has a beard #monsterdon

"How do I look?" he asks Blackula, whose fashion sense has had only four-ish days to update from the 16th century.

#monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

He also wants to go to a party #monsterdon

Dude's gonna *really* be thrilled when they invent selfie sticks.

Can't use DSLRs though.

#monsterdon