oh hi 𝚖̶𝚊̶𝚛̶𝚔̶ lisa

#monsterdon

The male vampires are looking super fly but Gloria looks like she got dragged through a hedge backwards?

#Monsterdon

you probably should not come closer, just a suggestion ma'am. #monsterdon

@Taweret Baby gurl, your chakras are all out of alignment

#monsterdon

Come, closer, I don't want to chase you.

#Monsterdon

Lesser Known Vampire Powers #352: Undead hair inflation #Monsterdon

She has ASMR voice! Kill her! #Monsterdon

She seems very trustworthy. You should go to her like she's asking.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon they were going to bury her in *that*?

"...Gloria ... G L O R I A ... Gloria!"

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

ok gloria is actually quite creepy #monsterdon

G-L-O-R-I-A!!!

#Monsterdon

i think her hair got bigger?
#Monsterdon

This movie might have more afro shadows per minute than any other movie made last millenium.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

https://youtu.be/yRYFKcMa_Ek

#monsterdon

Get ready for some girl-on-girl vamp action

#monsterdon

gloria's really into it too, great for her! #monsterdon

@north So the missing lore (that I have yet to see explained in any of these movies) is that the person who becomes a vampire has to drink the vampires blood in return, time/frequency of drinking varies by the origin of the story. Sometimes it's years of blood swapping, sometimes just once.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon she's like "I'm not seeing this am i?"

Best bat graphics we've seen so far #Monsterdon

"I forgot my contacts." #Monsterdon

Becoming a vampire doesn't impart extra charm, Willis needs a few centuries to catch up with Mamuwalde. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon so we've got mamuwalde wandering around killing people for funsies, with a thing for lisa; and willis just hanging around the house waiting for people to show up to kill

@north i think usually the victim has to intend to become a vampire to become one? #monsterdon

Don't forget to season your necklaces.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

That's a really fresh outfit for a corpse-sitting #Monsterdon

ohh and ranunculus and gerbs mmhmm
#Monsterdon

so can someone explain when a vampire bite causes you to turn into a vampirea d when does it kill you? #Monsterdon

falling asleep here folks, sorry if i fall behind

#monsterdon

Relax your entire body… forever #monsterdon

How is it that sometimes biting somebody kills them while others they become a vampire? I'm missing some lore I think.

#Monsterdon

for some reason i can't take my eyes off the white spinet piano whenever it's in frame #monsterdon

To help with her right bones he's gonna give her a loose bone.. ing? Eh?
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

And we maybe just crossed the line into sexual assault? I wasn't expecting that.

#Monsterdon

"Hey baby, these bones are tight!"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to pile them up on the floor and set fire to them." #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon (lightning strike) Frau Grier!

my timeline did a thing

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

@yatsu Yes, great party music selection in #ScreamBlaculaScream Did you catch "Mystery Man" playing when Lisa (Pam Grier) was leading him through around? #Monsterdon

@Taweret "ya got too much blood, let me take care of that for you"

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

#Monsterdon

I am not feeling the lack of a van Helsing character at all. Figure it out yourself, reasonably intelligent characters!

#Monsterdon nope just bitin

Wow. How many is that now? I've already lost count. #Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

standard funeral chrysanthemum arrangement spotted
#Monsterdon

“Been working overtime… as a vampire” #monsterdon

i do not believe willis is going to stop. #monsterdon

"Mama? I'll mama you!" And thus MILFs were invented in the 70s.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

#Monsterdon chekhov necksnap?

BIG WILLIS

JESUS CHRIST #Monsterdon

"what're you doing?"
getting the furniture a mess, that's what. could you not chose one of the chairs with a drop cloth over it? #monsterdon

@SRLevine good to know, i should have figured vampires would already be on top of that one.

#monsterdon

Yeah. Let the vampire give you a neck massage. Work in a little salt and pepper. Set the oven to 350f and get a pan ready. #Monsterdon

"Um, Willis? Who is playing the piano?"

#Monsterdon

eat her, eat her out, eat her, eat her out, decisions decisions decisions

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream #mosnterdong

“Let me get a good feel of those bones”. Pocketing that one for when the mood is right. #Monsterdon

Cut to token elderly white couple enjoying the 'black' music stoicly from the couch #Monsterdon

You know just casually walking into someone's house when they don't answer your knock is generally not a good idea especially given the current series of unfortunate events #Monsterdon

What ARE you talking about, Willis? #Monsterdon

Willis's hair is amazing, I'd be sad to never get to see it in a mirror again too.

#monsterdon

I don't want no scrubs, a scrub is a guy who can't get no blood from me #monsterdon

ah, Willis talks about himself in the third person, that's how you know Willis is an asshole. #monsterdon

@jonny Standard lore involves clotting factors of some sort in their saliva that activate post drinking and either heal the site or mask it form being seen.

#Monsterdon

Never trust a man who speaks about himself in the third person. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
That was a GREAT bat transformation for the 70s!

She'll also wear it while trimming the lawn, a loa boa mowa #Monsterdon

“Help! Yet more people are now dead with vampire bite marks yet we don’t consider it has anything to do with a mysterious guy in a vampire outfit. Must be voodoo!” #monsterdon

WILLIS, WILLIS, WILLIS, I HAVE MADE OVER 200 FILMS, ALL MY LIFE, DIRECTORS CALLING WILLIS

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

It’s crazy that people just let themselves into other people’s houses. Is that a 1970s thing?

#Monsterdon

A standing coffin? Is this like a standing desk for vampires? Or does he have GERD and needs to keep his digestive tract elevated when sleeping? Acid reflux with blood must be the worst.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

Back issues? Even after becoming a creature of the night? With the new Posturepedic Coffin, ghouls, fiends, and vampires can all rest comfortably.

#monsterdon

halter top and a feather boa certainly is a look #monsterdon

Hey, she's got a feather boa for doing voodoo! It's a Loa Boa #Monsterdon

@ottaross And both he and David were in vampire movies. #Monsterdon

Note: Vampires are bad about locking doors.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

Being near a vampire must give everyone within 30' a 1d10 chance of cutting themselves. #Monsterdon

vampires are terrible at opsec but the police are always worse at investigating
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 😱

Filming all those close-ups of Blackula's open mouth must have been kinda awkward

Where’s the dripping faucet in that basement? #monsterdon

God damn it I forgot to reply to the root post :(

Anyway, that is some baaaaaaaad day-for-night all right #Monsterdon

Back when cult was literally just a four letter word.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

Oh

Good

Yeah, go sit with the corpse of the recently bitten

sounds safe #Monsterdon

Jive sighting - you can tell by the way the guy walks into the restaurant

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Hold up ... why would he call it a cult? That just seems ... wrong.

I remember when my old high school cult broke up. Everyone has this happen.

#Monsterdon

Ooooooh that Triumph. 😍😍😍😍

#Monsterdon

I kind of want a tie-in story where the researcher gets into a huge fight with Reviewer Two about the true significance and original use of all the African artifacts. #monsterdon

That dude made a whole career out of playing the Generic Bastard Cop role #Monsterdon

He's right, that bat didn't have much of an ass #monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow
That one guy on the right is still paying high monthly installments on his Most Excellent suit.

#Monsterdon

biting someone on the neck must be a power move among vampires. it signals that you are powerful enough that you don't have to fear humans investigating. otherwise maybe you'd expect vampires to vary their bite locations, use only one fang sometimes, and do some basic wound aftercare to throw people off the case #monsterdon

I think the police department might need some sensitivity training. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Any chance of #coffee here? #CoffeeWatch is on alert....

This is some bad ADR.

#monsterdon

@thecount agree. very modern, very streamlined, nice shine.

#mastoween #monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

One of the weirdest things in old movies is having to keep track of where people are and call them at the house they're visiting.

#Monsterdon

Something about a vampire closing their own coffin feels very sad to me. I want to play the footage slowed down in black and white with Sarah McLachlan over it. #Monsterdon

So I guess the cops would find a suspect done up all in bandages must be a witch doctor, yeah?

ACAB but stoopit too.

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

...Mamu, I think maybe you should buy some curtains. Blackout lining. Free tip. #Monsterdon

That's a snazzy looking coffin!

#Monsterdon #ScreamBlaculaScream

Oh the bloodsuckers preying on society are here. Hello pigs.
#Monsterdon #ScreamBlackulaScream

See, Blacula's got the right idea with a hinged coffin, all those other draculas and their heavy stone coffin lids just don't have it figured out

#monsterdon